Talking with teenagers about sex

[PaulinVA]

Well, that’s great!

For those of you with younger kids, the idea that sometimes we have to be the bad guys, at the behest of our kids, is kinda strange.

But, yes, sometimes our little darlings just need an excuse to do the right thing. So, “Do you want me to be the bad guy?” said in a loving manner solves things more often than you would think.

 

[raindr0ps]

oh yay! I’m glad it turned out well

 

[Em_in_FL]

Wow… so glad the situation was resolved so beautifully. Sounds like you handled it perfectly and really gave a great testimony to others here on how to handle a similar situation. Good work!

Thank you for sharing your experience…

 

[S_J_Thaikattil]

Generally it doesn’t since it limits your freedom to obey, and you could get addicted to x. But you feel free at the time, like nothing can touch you. In the mind of a messed up, lost, & confused kid who’s just looking to find fulfillment- sometimes feeling good, even for just a few minutes, is enough.

Raindrops, thank you for sharing your reasons for getting a sense of satisfaction from doing just the opposite of what your parents wanted you to do. It is good to know you have grown out of that stage of rebellion. Everyone, especially parents with teenage children, could learn something valuable from it which could help them understand rebellious teenagers better. In some cases, parents may have to do some self examination to find out if they are being loving and supportive enough of their teens as their children struggle through a very confusing stage in their development into independent adults. Parental abuse is a reality in some families, and it does no good to deny it. Children from such families need emotional support and guidance from outside, from reliable adults.

Theology of the Body for Teens seems like a wonderful Catholic resource. I had never heard of it, nor have I read any of JP II’s writing. So thank you for mentioning it.

 

[MomaMary8]

Well, that’s great!

For those of you with younger kids, the idea that sometimes we have to be the bad guys, at the behest of our kids, is kinda strange.

But, yes, sometimes our little darlings just need an excuse to do the right thing. So, “Do you want me to be the bad guy?” said in a loving manner solves things more often than you would think.

I have allowed my kids to use me as an excuse in more than one occasion! I nice “OH Man! My mom would kill me if she knew!” is also an easy way for a kid to say “no” to peer presure.

 

[ChristinaM]

SIZE=“4”]Update to our little "situation"

I called her mom and told her that her daughter had something to talk to her about. I told her that it was very important and also very personnal and that I had told her daughter I would give her the opportunity to approach you about it. I then told her mom that although I trust her daughter will talk to you I wanted to let you know what I had already said to her.
After the complete slience for about 15 seconds and the mortified sound in her voice , she actually thanked me for telling her.
Her mom called me this morning to tell me that dd came clean to her last night about what she was considering.: She said they had a really wonderful talk.
Here is the twist… dd asked her mom to call her boyfriends parents (but obviously, not tell them it was her idea) and tell them that she will only be allowed to hang out with their son at public places. Turns out she was really just falling into the trap that many HS girls fall into. Her mom thinks she was more or less being pressured and didn’t know how to handel it.

Gee, for those of us whose children are babies , boy are we in the easy stage!!!

Beautifully handled, MamaMia! Sounds like mom and daughter had a much needed heart-to-heart because of your intervention.

 

[Kat876]

I disagree that a condom could save her life. The failure rate of those that are even used “correctly” is high. Don’t tell me 2 hot and heavy teens know how to use one “correctly”!

I am the mother of 3 teen (boys). I would be grateful if someone brought this to my attention!

Having sex will create many, many, MANY more problems than talking to the parents!!

Actually, a correctly used condom is effective 98% of the time. And you should be giving teens more credit. Many know how to correctly use a condom.
Condoms are the only way to prevent STDs if you are going to have sex.

 

[jmcrae]

Actually, a correctly used condom is effective 98% of the time.

Where does this statistic come from? Even Planned Parenthood only gives it an 80% success rate.

And you should be giving teens more credit. Many know how to correctly use a condom.

Condoms are designed for adult bodies. Even if a teen knows how to use a condom, the chances are good that it can slip off.

Condoms are the only way to prevent STDs if you are going to have sex.

They can reduce the likelihood, but they don’t eliminate the risk. There are also some STDs (such as herpes) that occur outside of the area covered by the condom; skin to skin contact still transmits these diseases, even with condoms.

 

[whatevergirl]

Actually, a correctly used condom is effective 98% of the time. And you should be giving teens more credit. Many know how to correctly use a condom.
Condoms are the only way to prevent STDs if you are going to have sex.

I think we should give teens more credit, that they are capable of abstaining. It’s like handing a drug addict, a clean needle…well, if you’re gonna do it…then here’s a needle.

I hear what you are saying, but I think where the credit is lacking, is in the fact that we think kids don’t have the willpower to say NO.