Teen Modesty Tips

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ishabayle

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Hi everybody! I didn’t really know where to post this so sorry 🙂

I have been Catholic my whole life and I recently felt like I should be dressing more modestly. I am 16 years old and I live in a hot climate. I am also quite tall which has created challenges when trying to dress modestly because both skirts, pants,and shorts are shorter-looking on me than someone of average height (even if I buy them long or tall). So I was basically just wondering if anyone has modesty tips for the summer, because it is very hot outside and every time I dress in a modest outfit (covered shoulders and thighs) I end up being uncomfortably hot and sweaty :). Also, what is an example of a good modest outfit that you guys like to wear during the summer? I need all the inspiration I can get. I have dressed immodestly for so long that this change is difficult. Pinterest has helped much with outfit inspiration. Another thing is that I don’t own a lot of modest clothing, but I don’t have the money to buy a bunch of new clothes. Is there a way I can make immodest items (tank tops, short skirts, tight pants, short shorts, etc…) more modest? One last question, does anybody know of an affordable store that sells cute, modest clothing? I appreciate your responses greatly, and I know I shouldn’t be worrying so much about fashion. However, I don’t want to cause anybody to lust because of me anymore. Thank you 🙂
 
I have never, ever seen a hard and fast set of rules on modesty, so I just do as my mom taught me:
  • Shorts long enough that the bottom hem is just below your fingertips when you are standing with your hands at your sides.
  • Skirts to the knee and if it “cups” against your butt, don’t wear it.
  • Shirts worn out in public must have sleeves or straps wider than three inches. Shoulders covered in church. And if the shirt is too tight or revealing in the bust area, don’t wear it.
I don’t know of many places that sell modest clothing, but does this help with your first question?
 
Yes, thank you very much! I appreciate your reply. I will be sure to follow those guidelines
 
Hello, fellow teenage girl here (19)!

If you want to fix up your pre-existing tank tops, you could wear some sort of higher-cut tank top underneath. That might get a little warm though. I personally can’t stand layered shirts, so I’ve actually sewed fabric into v-neck shirts before. (If you do that, make sure the fabric is pre-shrunken!!)

If you want to fix up your pre-existing shorts/skirts, you could wear spandex underneath…it helps a little, anyway. Or leggings, but again, that might be too warm.

If you have shorts that you feel are too tight in the butt, you could wear a longer shirt or t-shirt that cover your butt. That’s what I do with yoga pants. 🙂

Also, if you have any old pairs of jeans, you could cut the bottom of the legs off to create jean-shorts of the desired length.

Hope that helps a bit! And you are making a wonderful decision to dress modestly! 😃
 
Full, knee length skirts are perfect in the heat. They float and don’t add any insulation at all, really. I buy all mine at Goodwill. You should check around to see what thrift stores you have that sell cheap old-school skirts like that. I mean, if you buy a skirt that is below the knee to begin with, it is probably not going to be too short even on you 😛 If you do it right, it can even be super cute and retro xD

I have some tank-top dresses that I sometimes wear in the summer with a lace cardigan. It’s very lightweight for the heat, but gives plenty of coverage. Just make sure the neckline is appropriate, yeah? Any material like lace, lightweight knit, linen, ect is perfect for coverage that breathes

When things are too short, I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to fix them without layering which can look kind of weird. When things are too tight, you can wear looser things over them for more coverage. Then again, that is probably not practical in the heat.
 
Dress like the Blessed Virgin Mary and not like the celebrities. Wear skirts that at least cover your knees, and blouses that do not reveal too much flesh (elbow-length is alright, but no shorter than that; no more than around two fingers below your neckline is proper for a neckline). Do not wear tight or see-through clothing. If you can’t afford to shop at regular stores you can shop at second-hand stores. You will need to shop at second-hand stores if you haven’t got enough money to buy modest clothing. God bless you.
 
ishabayle said:
Hi everybody! I didn’t really know where to post this so sorry 🙂

I have been Catholic my whole life and I recently felt like I should be dressing more modestly. I am 16 years old and I live in a hot climate. I am also quite tall which has created challenges when trying to dress modestly because both skirts, pants,and shorts are shorter-looking on me than someone of average height (even if I buy them long or tall). So I was basically just wondering if anyone has modesty tips for the summer, because it is very hot outside and every time I dress in a modest outfit (covered shoulders and thighs) I end up being uncomfortably hot and sweaty :). Also, what is an example of a good modest outfit that you guys like to wear during the summer? I need all the inspiration I can get. I have dressed immodestly for so long that this change is difficult. Pinterest has helped much with outfit inspiration. Another thing is that I don’t own a lot of modest clothing, but I don’t have the money to buy a bunch of new clothes. Is there a way I can make immodest items (tank tops, short skirts, tight pants, short shorts, etc…) more modest? One last question, does anybody know of an affordable store that sells cute, modest clothing? I appreciate your responses greatly, and I know I shouldn’t be worrying so much about fashion. However, I don’t want to cause anybody to lust because of me anymore. Thank you 🙂
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If you sew or know someone who does (Mom or Grandma maybe?), then you could ask them to sew some fabric on the bottoms of your shorts and skirts to make them longer. You could probably find some patterned denim or another cute fabric. But that would only work if your things were a couple of inches too short. If shorter than that, it might not look right. Go to Goodwill or a Mission store or Saturday morning rummage sales and buy some things that are modest. Get rid of everything that is too short or too tight…don’t wear them one more day…even if you have to wear your Dad’s t-shirts and sweatpants for a few days. Better to be hot on this earth than hot you-know-where because the way you were dressed tempted boys/men to sin. Good for you for realizing you must be modest. I wish I had learned that at your age…I would have saved myself a lot of shame later on. You can still be very cute and be modest. Check out Leah Darrow’s website…she’s a former model who has been on EWTN and now promotes modest fashion. God bless you!
 
ready said:
Dress like the Blessed Virgin Mary and not like the celebrities. Wear skirts that at least cover your knees, and blouses that do not reveal too much flesh (elbow-length is alright, but no shorter than that; no more than around two fingers below your neckline is proper for a neckline). Do not wear tight or see-through clothing. If you can’t afford to shop at regular stores you can shop at second-hand stores. You will need to shop at second-hand stores if you haven’t got enough money to buy modest clothing. God bless you.
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I disagree with you entirely. Elbow-length sleeves and collars that high are not necessary. Maybe they’re good but not NECESSARY. I know because I spent a while following legalistic rules like that and, to put it bluntly, it sucked. Maybe in the Victorian era, when little girls wore long sleeves and high collars from birth it was all right, but when you go from wearing tank tops and shorts in November to long sleeves in August…well, your body needs time to adjust to heat like that, and when it doesn’t have time it’s downright dangerous. Not to mention that friends, strangers, and your entire family will never stop questioning, and questioning, and questioning and never understanding no matter how much you explain. You’re a social outcast, a family outcast, and dying of heat stroke because somebody FALSELY led you to believe that it is necessary to dress like that.

I’m not a Puritan, I’m not a weird Protestant who thinks modesty needs strict rules. I am a CATHOLIC, and the Catholic church teaches that modesty is SUBJECTIVE. SO IF I THINK THAT IT IS OK TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES MADE OF LACE TO WALK AROUND OUTSIDE FOR FIVE HOURS IN THE 110 DEGREE WEATHER, THEN IT IS OK. AND I’M NOT GOING TO ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO TRY AND SHAME ME INTO GOING BACK THERE. MODESTY. IS. SUBJECTIVE. IT VARIES BY CULTURE. WE ARE NOT LIVING IN THE 1950’S. IT’S OK TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES OR EVEN NO SLEEVES OR SHORTER SKIRTS OR EVEN FREAKING SHORTS IF YOU BELIEVE IT IS OK I AM SO DONE. GOODBYE.

**I’M SO SORRY FOR FREAKING OUT BUT THIS RESONATES WITH A REALLY HORRIBLE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND I THINK YOU SHOULD REPHRASE YOUR STATEMENT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH IT IS A GOOD AND PIUS THING TO DRESS VERY MODESTLY WITH CHARACTERISTICS SUCH AS ELBOW-LENGTH SLEEVES, IT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE TO DO SO, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH DOES NOT TEACH THAT IT IS NECESSARY, AND PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CHOOSE TO DRESS AS SUCH ARE NO WORSE CHRISTIANS THAN THOSE WHO DO. **

OP, darling, dress how YOU feel is modest. I wish you all the luck.
 
Natural fibres are cooler than synthetics - pure cotton, pure linen, ramie, etc., are much more comfortable to wear than polycottons and totally synthetic fabrics.
 
Butaperson said:
I disagree with you entirely. Elbow-length sleeves and collars that high are not necessary. Maybe they’re good but not NECESSARY. I know because I spent a while following legalistic rules like that and, to put it bluntly, it sucked. Maybe in the Victorian era, when little girls wore long sleeves and high collars from birth it was all right, but when you go from wearing tank tops and shorts in November to long sleeves in August…well, your body needs time to adjust to heat like that, and when it doesn’t have time it’s downright dangerous. Not to mention that friends, strangers, and your entire family will never stop questioning, and questioning, and questioning and never understanding no matter how much you explain. You’re a social outcast, a family outcast, and dying of heat stroke because somebody FALSELY led you to believe that it is necessary to dress like that.

I’m not a Puritan, I’m not a weird Protestant who thinks modesty needs strict rules. I am a CATHOLIC, and the Catholic church teaches that modesty is SUBJECTIVE. SO IF I THINK THAT IT IS OK TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES MADE OF LACE TO WALK AROUND OUTSIDE FOR FIVE HOURS IN THE 110 DEGREE WEATHER, THEN IT IS OK. AND I’M NOT GOING TO ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO TRY AND SHAME ME INTO GOING BACK THERE. MODESTY. IS. SUBJECTIVE. IT VARIES BY CULTURE. WE ARE NOT LIVING IN THE 1950’S. IT’S OK TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES OR EVEN NO SLEEVES OR SHORTER SKIRTS OR EVEN FREAKING SHORTS IF YOU BELIEVE IT IS OK I AM SO DONE. GOODBYE.

**I’M SO SORRY FOR FREAKING OUT BUT THIS RESONATES WITH A REALLY HORRIBLE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND I THINK YOU SHOULD REPHRASE YOUR STATEMENT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH IT IS A GOOD AND PIUS THING TO DRESS VERY MODESTLY WITH CHARACTERISTICS SUCH AS ELBOW-LENGTH SLEEVES, IT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE TO DO SO, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH DOES NOT TEACH THAT IT IS NECESSARY, AND PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CHOOSE TO DRESS AS SUCH ARE NO WORSE CHRISTIANS THAN THOSE WHO DO. **

OP, darling, dress how YOU feel is modest. I wish you all the luck.
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Butaperson,
Your post made me smile. I have had personal experiences that have made me, too, reject the Mary-like rules of dress so often promoted here at CAF, so seeing your switch to ALL CAPS and bolded typing was understandable. I wear crochet cardigans, shorts, sleeveless dresses, etc. In the subtropics where I live, it is very important to wear clothing that doesn’t trap heat and moisture, or you can get seriously ill. And living in the Bible belt, it is very easy for me to dress similarly to all the other great Christian ladies who care about balancing modesty, style, and health. In fact, there seems to be a Southern Christian lady uniform of tank tops or short sleeves, capris and sandals. 😃 Alternatively, for women who prefer dresses like me, the maxi dress is a perennial favorite. 👍
 
Falco said:
Natural fibres are cooler than synthetics - pure cotton, pure linen, ramie, etc., are much more comfortable to wear than polycottons and totally synthetic fabrics.
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Yes, and woven is more comfortable than knits, in my opinion, but are increasingly hard to find.
 
I work in retail…in Florida, and so I’ve seen plenty of teen girls dress “immodestly”. I never once thought they were doing anything wrong. I’ve also seen a few girls from a local Pentacostal church or Apostolic Tabernacle (not sure which) with ankle-length skirts and their hair tied in ponytails, and I just roll my eyes. It’s funny how one denomination or another latches on to one rule or another from the Old Testament, when really the Apostles said all that was necessary for Gentiles to follow was (and I’m going from memory here) don’t eat blood, don’t eat food that’s been sacrified to idols (somehow, I feel this isn’t much of a concern :p), and don’t enter into unlawful marriage.

At my church, the pre-Mass announcements will sometimes include a reminder of proper attire for Mass (no shorts, tank tops, or flipflops). However, that’s for Mass only. Apparently, outside church, they don’t care what you wear (and, personally, I’ve NEVER heard of any Catholic teachings on dress in everyday life).

I’ll end by quoting a cute little poem that I’d once heard somewhere:

God doesn’t care
What you wear
Or if you cut your hair
Or the size of your underwear.
It’s what’s in there [your heart]
That shows Him you care.

🙂
 
Falco said:
Natural fibres are cooler than synthetics - pure cotton, pure linen, ramie, etc., are much more comfortable to wear than polycottons and totally synthetic fabrics.
Click to expand...
Yes! If you check out the head to toe fabric that some cultures wear, its light and airy and gauzy…not tee-shirt type knit cotton. Here is a simple, modest skirt pattern with how-to photos and instructions:

elleapparelblog.com/2010/09/socialite-skirt.html

You can wear tank tops, camisoles and even strapless tops and cover up with a cropped cardigan, this is a light linen-cotton blend:

jjill.com/jjillonline/product/itempage.aspx?BID=490236480&item=R9009D&h=M&sk=M&ac=search
 
Casilda said:
Yes! If you check out the head to toe fabric that some cultures wear, its light and airy and gauzy…not tee-shirt type knit cotton. Here is a simple, modest skirt pattern with how-to photos and instructions:

elleapparelblog.com/2010/09/socialite-skirt.html

You can wear tank tops, camisoles and even strapless tops and cover up with a cropped cardigan, this is a light linen-cotton blend:

jjill.com/jjillonline/product/itempage.aspx?BID=490236480&item=R9009D&h=M&sk=M&ac=search
Click to expand...
After I get through the postpartum time (I am currently expecting another baby) I would love to try sewing some clothes again. The particular skirt pattern you shared here calls for a knit fabric, not the gauzy woven material. There are a lot of wonderful skirt patterns out there though, that do call for the gauzy woven, and are relatively easy to make. I don’t have a lot of experience with sewing, but even I was able to make a drawstring skirt and capri pants and more, out of summer-weight woven fabrics, as some of my very first sewing projects. I am really glad you mentioned this, because sewing is a fun hobby and it is good for young women to learn how to make some basic clothing, since it is so hard to find the stylish and modest things in off-the-rack clothing.👍
 
Butaperson said:
I disagree with you entirely. Elbow-length sleeves and collars that high are not necessary. Maybe they’re good but not NECESSARY. I know because I spent a while following legalistic rules like that and, to put it bluntly, it sucked. Maybe in the Victorian era, when little girls wore long sleeves and high collars from birth it was all right, but when you go from wearing tank tops and shorts in November to long sleeves in August…well, your body needs time to adjust to heat like that, and when it doesn’t have time it’s downright dangerous. Not to mention that friends, strangers, and your entire family will never stop questioning, and questioning, and questioning and never understanding no matter how much you explain. You’re a social outcast, a family outcast, and dying of heat stroke because somebody FALSELY led you to believe that it is necessary to dress like that.

I’m not a Puritan, I’m not a weird Protestant who thinks modesty needs strict rules. I am a CATHOLIC, and the Catholic church teaches that modesty is SUBJECTIVE. SO IF I THINK THAT IT IS OK TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES MADE OF LACE TO WALK AROUND OUTSIDE FOR FIVE HOURS IN THE 110 DEGREE WEATHER, THEN IT IS OK. AND I’M NOT GOING TO ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO TRY AND SHAME ME INTO GOING BACK THERE. MODESTY. IS. SUBJECTIVE. IT VARIES BY CULTURE. WE ARE NOT LIVING IN THE 1950’S. IT’S OK TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES OR EVEN NO SLEEVES OR SHORTER SKIRTS OR EVEN FREAKING SHORTS IF YOU BELIEVE IT IS OK I AM SO DONE. GOODBYE.

**I’M SO SORRY FOR FREAKING OUT BUT THIS RESONATES WITH A REALLY HORRIBLE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND I THINK YOU SHOULD REPHRASE YOUR STATEMENT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH IT IS A GOOD AND PIUS THING TO DRESS VERY MODESTLY WITH CHARACTERISTICS SUCH AS ELBOW-LENGTH SLEEVES, IT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE TO DO SO, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH DOES NOT TEACH THAT IT IS NECESSARY, AND PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CHOOSE TO DRESS AS SUCH ARE NO WORSE CHRISTIANS THAN THOSE WHO DO. **

OP, darling, dress how YOU feel is modest. I wish you all the luck.
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I did not read your post, only the part that you disagree entirely with me. What I say in my post is what the Church has traditionally taught and so I will not change my views one bit. If you have a problem with the Church’s traditional teaching on dressing modestly, then I am not going to argue with you – I’ll pray for you to come to your senses because I do not want you dressing immodestly or teaching others that it is okay to do so. Why? Because dressing immodestly and telling others that it is alright to do so has grave consequences, especially in the next life. God bless you.
 
ready said:
I did not read your post, only the part that you disagree entirely with me. What I say in my post is what the Church has traditionally taught and so I will not change my views one bit. If you have a problem with the Church’s traditional teaching on dressing modestly, then I am not going to argue with you – I’ll pray for you to come to your senses because I do not want you dressing immodestly or teaching others that it is okay to do so. Why? Because dressing immodestly and telling others that it is alright to do so has grave consequences, especially in the next life. God bless you.
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Can you point us to those teachings please? I am not aware of any Church teaching regarding necklines, sleeves to the elbow, nor the wearing of skirts instead of shorts or trousers.
 
AnnArbor said:
Can you point us to those teachings please? I am not aware of any Church teaching regarding necklines, sleeves to the elbow, nor the wearing of skirts instead of shorts or trousers.
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This is what I have found so far. We can check online if we need more info.

Compensating warnings from popes (primarily for women and girls):

Pope Pius XI:
◾“Superioresses and teachers in schools for girls must do their utmost to instill love of modesty in the hearts of maidens confided to their care and urge them to dress modestly.”
◾"Let parents keep their daughters away from public gymnastic games and contests; but, if their daughters are compelled to attend such exhibitions, let them see to it that they are fully and modestly dressed. Let them never permit their daughters to don immodest garb."
◾"We recall that a dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat, which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows, and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knee. Furthermore, dresses of transparent material are improper.”

Pope Pius XII:
◾"How many young girls there are who do not see any wrongdoing in following certain shameless styles like so many sheep. They certainly would blush if they could guess the impression they make and the feeling they evoke in those who see them."
◾"O Christian mothers, if only you knew the future distress, peril and ill-restrained shame that you prepare for your sons and daughters by imprudently accustoming them to live barely clothed, and permitting them to lose the sense of modesty, you would be ashamed of yourselves, and of the harm done to the little ones entrusted to you by Heaven to be reared in a Christian dignity and culture."

For those that claim today’s immodest dress is simply a new custom and is therefore of no concern:

Pope Pius XII calls this application of an ancient principle to the virtue of modesty, “the most insidious of sophisms.” He calls attention to the fact that some people use this sophism “…in order to brand as ‘old fashioned’ the rebellion of honest people against fashions they consider too bold.”

God bless you.
 
ready said:
This is what I have found so far. We can check online if we need more info.

Compensating warnings from popes (primarily for women and girls):

Pope Pius XI:
◾“Superioresses and teachers in schools for girls must do their utmost to instill love of modesty in the hearts of maidens confided to their care and urge them to dress modestly.”
◾"Let parents keep their daughters away from public gymnastic games and contests; but, if their daughters are compelled to attend such exhibitions, let them see to it that they are fully and modestly dressed. Let them never permit their daughters to don immodest garb."
◾"We recall that a dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat, which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows, and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knee. Furthermore, dresses of transparent material are improper.”

Pope Pius XII:
◾"How many young girls there are who do not see any wrongdoing in following certain shameless styles like so many sheep. They certainly would blush if they could guess the impression they make and the feeling they evoke in those who see them."
◾"O Christian mothers, if only you knew the future distress, peril and ill-restrained shame that you prepare for your sons and daughters by imprudently accustoming them to live barely clothed, and permitting them to lose the sense of modesty, you would be ashamed of yourselves, and of the harm done to the little ones entrusted to you by Heaven to be reared in a Christian dignity and culture."

For those that claim today’s immodest dress is simply a new custom and is therefore of no concern:

Pope Pius XII calls this application of an ancient principle to the virtue of modesty, “the most insidious of sophisms.” He calls attention to the fact that some people use this sophism “…in order to brand as ‘old fashioned’ the rebellion of honest people against fashions they consider too bold.”

God bless you.
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No, sorry, I meant actual teachings, not just papal comments that are appropriate to the times in which they were made, rather than eternal. The Catechism is clear that modesty varies based on culture.
 
AnnArbor said:
No, sorry, I meant actual teachings, not just papal comments that are appropriate to the times in which they were made, rather than eternal. The Catechism is clear that modesty varies based on culture.
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These Popes teachings were at least meant for all of us in the West and these truths/teachings are perennially true. Immodesty is immodesty. Period. We will have to agree to disagree here, for I know that I am right about this and refuse to embrace Modernism. God bless you.
 
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