Teenage boy afraid to go to Confession

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BlueEyedLady said:
She has been corrected, it hasn’t worked, it’s best to let it go. You cannot and should not try to force someone to raise their children in perfect accordance with any faith. If a Catholic wants to put their 16 year old on birth control they have that right. Yes it is wrong in the eyes of the church, yes it is teaching a child to mortally sin, but the parents cannot and should not be stopped, because they are well within their rights as parents.

As a parent you do have the right to make parenting decisions. And that right does include the ability to not raise your child in strict accordance with your religious group and/or that of your family. Regardless of the mistake the mother is making, she does deserve to have the rest of the family butt out.
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Do you think that she has the right to stand in the bathroom whenever he goes just to see if he is masturbating?
 
Cristiano said:
Do you think that she has the right to stand in the bathroom whenever he goes just to see if he is masturbating?
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No. And if I knew that someone was doing that I would notify CPS because in many jurisdictions that would be considered sexual abuse, and in all jurisdictions it would be a huge red flag of abuse and CPS would need to investigate.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
No. And if I knew that someone was doing that I would notify CPS because in many jurisdictions that would be considered sexual abuse, and in all jurisdictions it would be a huge red flag of abuse and CPS would need to investigate.
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What exactly do you think he is confessing? Why would a teenage boy who is Catholic ask to go to confession so often?
 
ahollars said:
What exactly do you think he is confessing? Why would a teenage boy who is Catholic ask to go to confession so often?
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🤷 Could be masturbation, could be that he has a serious issue with anger, could be that he’s struggling with a church teaching, could be that he’s scrupulous, could be that he has a problem with lying, could be that he has a lot of very uncharitable thoughts about his intrusive and overbearing mother, could be anything really.

But bugging him is not illegal. But regardless it should be resolved. He is old enough to be directed to a priest himself. If he were 10 it may be different, but he’s 15. And once again, this woman who is not even a member of the family is butting in and going to 3rd parties. I understand that you agree with her point, but that doesn’t make this her place to do it.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
No. And if I knew that someone was doing that I would notify CPS because in many jurisdictions that would be considered sexual abuse, and in all jurisdictions it would be a huge red flag of abuse and CPS would need to investigate.
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Do you realize that you are just using moral relativism here? You are saying that it sexual abuse when there is no intent to sexually abuse a person and the mere presence would prevent any sex act. You are trying to force your own non codified morals onto other people, to you a child does not have any fundamenatl right when it comes to his dignity and privacy but then the same child should be protected when it comes to sex. I see big contradictions here.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
🤷 Could be masturbation, could be that he has a serious issue with anger, could be that he’s struggling with a church teaching, could be that he’s scrupulous, could be that he has a problem with lying, could be that he has a lot of very uncharitable thoughts about his intrusive and overbearing mother, could be anything really.

But bugging him is not illegal. But regardless it should be resolved. He is old enough to be directed to a priest himself. If he were 10 it may be different, but he’s 15. And once again, this woman who is not even a member of the family is butting in and going to 3rd parties. I understand that you agree with her point, but that doesn’t make this her place to do it.
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The priest is not a third party. He is the person that the 15 year old is trying to reach out to, and not only does he have a right, but his mother has no moral OR LEGAL authority to prevent him from doing so.

You are completely dodging the legal part of the problem here. I’ll say it again: the seal of confession is protected under American federal law and the laws of all 50 states.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
… I understand that you agree with her point, but that doesn’t make this her place to do it.
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I still do not understand your point the future DIL has a leagl right to express her opinion to the future MIL. The future DIL has a Church obligation to make sure that the confessional rights of the boy are respected. Which code are you following? Not the secular law and not the Church law.
 
ahollars said:
The priest is not a third party. He is the person that the 15 year old is trying to reach out to, and not only does he have a right, but his mother has no moral OR LEGAL authority to prevent him from doing so.

You are completely dodging the legal part of the problem here. I’ll say it again: the seal of confession is protected under American federal law and the laws of all 50 states.
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I’m not sure what any of that has to do with anything. Last time I checked parents could control who their kids associated with. It doesn’t matter anyway, she’s not trying to keep him from talking to a priest.

Your confession is protected in that the government can’t force the priest to give up information. It does not mean that the government has the authority to protect the privacy of your confession. Even if the priest did break the seal he could not face any civil consequences. He would however, face very serious religious ones. Like being removed from the priesthood and sent to a monastery.
 
Cristiano said:
I still do not understand your point the future DIL has a leagl right to express her opinion to the future MIL. The future DIL has a Church obligation to make sure that the confessional rights of the boy are respected. Which code are you following? Not the secular law and not the Church law.
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I’m not saying that the DIL is doing anything illegal. I’m saying that because nothing illegal is happening she needs to stay out of her future MILs parenting. The woman has been spoken to once, butting in and harping on it will not help. In fact it may make the 15 year old’s life harder.
 
Cristiano said:
Do you realize that you are just using moral relativism here? You are saying that it sexual abuse when there is no intent to sexually abuse a person and the mere presence would prevent any sex act. You are trying to force your own non codified morals onto other people, to you a child does not have any fundamenatl right when it comes to his dignity and privacy but then the same child should be protected when it comes to sex. I see big contradictions here.
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Huh? You don’t see a difference between asking what was confessed and staring at a naked teenager. Well thank goodness the law does.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Huh? You don’t see a difference between asking what was confessed and staring at a naked teenager. Well thank goodness the law does.
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What does the law say? Please give a real reference in regard.
I think that you are intellectually dishonest when you participate in a Catholic forum and you claim that a person acts improperly when defending a fundamental Church law and a parent has every right to break such a law, that is a waste of everybody’s time.
 
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