Teenagers and going back to work/school

[cviolette]

I may volunteer to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate. I want to go to the orientation and then there are 30 hours of training that you have to do, plus background checks. The only problem might be that our son got his girlfriend to call CPS on us 2 years ago. The case was dismissed because there was no sign of abuse, but it might come up on a background check. If it does, then I will know that I can’t do anything like that in the future. And I will yell at DS for about 2 hours!

If you can’t do it because of the background check, don’t give up. Sometimes there is a time limit. Maybe, you would just need to wait a couple years. Since it was dismissed, I doubt it would be a problem. If it is meant to be, God will open doors for you. Just keep going to adoration and praying on it. God has a plan for all of us. We just have to be patient and trust Him while he reveals His plan.

 

[cviolette]

I was listening to someone speak yesterday, and she said co-dependents see the potential in someone and we respond to that potential, not recognizing how far from that potential the person is in their day to day life. I can see things in my husband that he can’t access or admit to. And I think that someday he will be that person. But when? And how will he change? Potential is not reality. Reality is reality.

It can be hard but we do need to accept them for who they are. Faults and all. And then decided if we can live with that. I sometimes get into these depressed moods when I think it is my fault. That if I was a stronger person, I could have taught him how to love. He just needed a better, stronger wife. It’s not him, it’s me. This is not a healthy for me. I take responsibilities for my mistakes and try to fix my faults. He needs to do the same.

 

[cviolette]

It wasn’t always that way I fell head over heals ,gave up my country my Army officer’s career that was headed for great things ( had just been accepted to our military university), sacrificed being close to my mother ( I am the only child) AND gave up a shot at our British Olympic team that I had just been offered a shot at. Within a year of moving over to the US and starting married life I was pregnant in shell shock from the culture difference and all of a sudden my husband was gone either on maneuvers or hunting! He never went hunting when we were dating. I will never forget driving through one po dunk town in KY thinking “what have I done”. We ( I - I think he was oblivious) struggled for the first 10 years until I changed my attitude. I will say that actually if I hadn’t been pregnant and didn’t want to go back to England ‘a failure’ - so because of my pride- I would have ended it within the first 2 years probably. Thank God I didn’t. There were a couple of pivotal books that I read that helped me. One was as I already said The Five Love Languages. The other I am wracking my brain for and when it comes to me I will share the title because it made me realise that ANY marriage can be saved.
May God bless you both and your families.

Thanks for sharing your story. I love happy endings. I would to have someone to spend the rest of my life with.

 

[petitfleur]

So happy for you Cviolette!!! I have always been drawn to nursing myself, perhaps one day:shrug:.
One thing I noticed about kids with working parents is confidence, and self motivation. I am not trying to start a fight with any SAHM I am one myself, but trying to look at the positives. You sound like an organized mom, I just wanted to mention how I have seen some really great kids come from working parents.
I relate to much of what you and jullane are describing about your husbands, and it makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach. I don’t know how my marriage can end well. I am in a weird place with it because I know my marriage is not valid, but am not sure I want to make it valid…so I am in a state of mortal sin…
Enough of my rambling. I love to see how God is working in other people’s lives.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

So happy for you Cviolette!!! I have always been drawn to nursing myself, perhaps one day:shrug:.
One thing I noticed about kids with working parents is confidence, and self motivation. I am not trying to start a fight with any SAHM I am one myself, but trying to look at the positives. You sound like an organized mom, I just wanted to mention how I have seen some really great kids come from working parents.
I relate to much of what you and jullane are describing about your husbands, and it makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach. I don’t know how my marriage can end well. I am in a weird place with it because I know my marriage is not valid, but am not sure I want to make it valid…so I am in a state of mortal sin…
Enough of my rambling. I love to see how God is working in other people’s lives.

I am fighting with myself today…I am coming close to just asking him, “So, once the kids are gone, how about we just call it quits?” He made one of his usual snide comments earlier and I’m just very, very tired…I feel like what’s the point any more…I’m not what he wants, don’t know if I ever was, and I’m tired of the game. The kids will be on their own and unless I work for him, what am I going to do?



Please pray for me if you would. I’m not even sad about it really.

 

[cviolette]

So happy for you Cviolette!!! I have always been drawn to nursing myself, perhaps one day:shrug:.
One thing I noticed about kids with working parents is confidence, and self motivation. I am not trying to start a fight with any SAHM I am one myself, but trying to look at the positives. You sound like an organized mom, I just wanted to mention how I have seen some really great kids come from working parents.
I relate to much of what you and jullane are describing about your husbands, and it makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach. I don’t know how my marriage can end well. I am in a weird place with it because I know my marriage is not valid, but am not sure I want to make it valid…so I am in a state of mortal sin…
Enough of my rambling. I love to see how God is working in other people’s lives.

Thank you

It’s never to late. This is my second career and I am way more excited than when I was going to school for engineering

I am very organized but a bit controlling at times. I am dealing with the guilt this weekend. My daughter has an interview for a teen 4H program. I can’t take her It is 45 minutes from our house and on one of my school days. Another mom will take her (her daughter has an interview too) but I feel it should be me. So I took her shopping this weekend for a dress to wear. I hate shopping. I took her and two of her friends to the mall. At least it made me feel better.

That is a tough position to be in. I would at least do marriage counseling and meet with a priest several times before even considering making it valid. Adoration and lots of praying is needed.

 

[cviolette]

I am fighting with myself today…I am coming close to just asking him, “So, once the kids are gone, how about we just call it quits?” He made one of his usual snide comments earlier and I’m just very, very tired…I feel like what’s the point any more…I’m not what he wants, don’t know if I ever was, and I’m tired of the game. The kids will be on their own and unless I work for him, what am I going to do?



Please pray for me if you would. I’m not even sad about it really.

Do you know if you husband talks differently about you when you are not around? My husband brags about me and compliments me to others. He just won’t say it to “me”. I think it is to control me. He wants me to have low self-esteem. There may be things that your husband is proud of but he just never tells you. You’re a great mom. That is the most important job in the world.

Don’t make any decisions when angry or upset. I make my best decision during adoration. God has a plan for you. Spend time in silence just thinking and listening in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

I will pray for you.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Do you know if you husband talks differently about you when you are not around? My husband brags about me and compliments me to others. He just won’t say it to “me”. I think it is to control me. He wants me to have low self-esteem. There may be things that your husband is proud of but he just never tells you. You’re a great mom. That is the most important job in the world.

Don’t make any decisions when angry or upset. I make my best decision during adoration. God has a plan for you. Spend time in silence just thinking and listening in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

I will pray for you.

No, I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me to others. He is so involved in his work that I’m sure I never cross his mind during the day. He never calls me to say hello and almost never sends me an email from either of his offices, unless it is something work-related.

It’s my own fault, I’ve never asked for any demonstrations that way. I’m not high-maintenance at all, but I do feel that we are simply going to end up with nothing left. It’s going to be really lonely without the boys around.

I did go to adoration the other day but it was specifically to say a rosary for the husband of someone I know who was dying. They are both baptized Catholics but do not practice and his wife is quite nasty about religion in general. I was praying that God would forgive him for not going to church all these years. He was a very good man. So I will go this week and just pray for answers for me.

 

[petitfleur]

Will pray for you Jullane. I have asked for prayers in the prayer intention forum and felt very comfortted there. There are some I credibly wonderful, holy people over there!
Worth a try anyway.