Teens - MySpace.com

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Aly,

While going to MySpace is not a sin, I would not let my fourteen year-old daughter on there (if I had one). First off, there are many images that a fourteen year-old does not need to be viewing. Your mother is right when she says the images of girls in skimpy clothing and kissing each other is inappropriate. It is not “just a joke,” there are a lot of girls on there that do that for attention and because they enjoy acting that way. I have a MySpace account, but I am a bit of a minority on there. My page is devoted to my beliefs and it is a way for me to keep in contact with a few friends that I do not have contact with otherwise. We don’t have time to e-mail each other on a regular basis, so it’s easy enough to keep our profiles updated and stop by each other’s pages to see what’s going on in our respective lives.

Also, you can receive private messages on MySpace and strangers often send disgusting messages. I tend not to do any browsing on MySpace because you can never be sure what you are going to see.
 
I’m mother of a very level-headed 15 yo daughter. I trust her entirely. I do not trust a few of her friends. She is on myspace under the condition that it’s set to private and I am included as one of her friends so her dad and I can look at it sometimes. We will NEVER post ANYTHING (comments etc.) in her space but we have insisted on the right to look at it from time to time. We will also NEVER respond to a request from one of her friends to be one of their friends (unless we ask her first). She claims that I’m being unfair but since it’s the only way she’ll be able to have a myspace is with me as a friend, that’s the way it is.

Teens out there, am I being fair to her?
You are not being unfair to your daughter at all. Especially considering you do not trust some of her friends. Through all stages of my life I have included my Mother to quell any worry she may have about a particular situation. While I admit I fell into a sketchy stage when I was in my early teens, it was quickly rectified and all was smooth sailing from there. If your daughter has nothing to hide, she will be perfectly content with allowing you to view her MySpace page; however, you may be taking it a tad too far by allowing her father access. Girls tend to be more open with their mothers and once they reach teen years they feel embarassed by their father knowing certain things about their personal life. Plus, you can always relay what you have found on her MySpace to your husband later on. 🙂
 
It seems to me that nothing good comes from “MySpace.” Personally i have never been there but if you turn on they new you see that teens are doing dumb stuff or that they are posting pictures that are immoral. BLUH:mad:
 
What about FaceBook? I’m no expert on these things, but I’m told that unlike MySpace, where anyone can troll around, FaceBook only allows users who are in your school or workgroup to interact. I have nieces who say MySpace is totally creepy and facebook is a lot better. They say NOBODY is going on MySpace anymore, except the psycho perverts. (Their words, not mine.)
 
I checked it out once and there were very young girls (10 years old maybe) dressed very provocatively. I can’t see any good coming of that.

Why not just call your friends up or go out with them if you want to communicate?

Also - if your mother says not to do it, you should respect that. Period.
 
Thanks guys. U are super cool. I just got a new computer (MY OWN!) for christmas which is why I can ask questions and it is TOTALLY COOL. My biggest thing is that my mom doesn’t let me do ANYTHING. After my dad died she like got totally wierd and is like always freakin out about me and my friends and sex. She told me i cant go to myspace.com cant wear skimpy underwear that NOBODY except me EVEN SEES and then threw away a bunch of thongs that i bought. She said THAT is why I cant go to myspsace!!! I dont get it. I’m 14!!! If Im not doing anything wrong why cant I live like everybody else? I know i should obey her but she has gottin so wierd that it is REALLY hard to obey and LIVE my life.

Ugh!

😦 Aly!
It seems to me that your role model should be Mary. Would she wear skimpy underwear?

Going to myspace for you is a sin because your mom told you not to. The 10 Commandments are not suggestions. Honor your mom.
 
I notice the original poster, Aly, hasn’t been on the Forums since 12/30/06. I hope we didn’t scare her off.
Maybe one of you ladies could e-mail her?
 
What about FaceBook? I’m no expert on these things, but I’m told that unlike MySpace, where anyone can troll around, FaceBook only allows users who are in your school or workgroup to interact. I have nieces who say MySpace is totally creepy and facebook is a lot better. They say NOBODY is going on MySpace anymore, except the psycho perverts. (Their words, not mine.)
Facebook is actually more dangerous in some cases since it gives a lot more personal information than MySpace. Also, it’s geared mainly toward college students and faculty and when young teens get accounts on there, the college students have a tendency to be rather mean to the younger teens.

It used to be that you had to have a University e-mail address in order to have an account on Facebook, but I think just about anyone can get a profile now. I’m not sure.
 
Facebook is FAR better that my-space…alot better security controls and advertisements

Myspace is just a huge gossip coulmn for teenage girls. Its AWFUL. I used to have it on so I could keep in contact with my youth group kiddos but they pulled so much dumb stuff…like making up fake boyfirends complete with profiles…and just other completely ridiculous stuff. I don’t see it as an “evil sex site” but more of what would happenen if newspapers were run by hormonal 14 yo’s. (which by the way newspapers aren’t all that far off from that anyway)
 
I’m mother of a very level-headed 15 yo daughter. I trust her entirely. I do not trust a few of her friends. She is on myspace under the condition that it’s set to private and I am included as one of her friends so her dad and I can look at it sometimes. We will NEVER post ANYTHING (comments etc.) in her space but we have insisted on the right to look at it from time to time. We will also NEVER respond to a request from one of her friends to be one of their friends (unless we ask her first). She claims that I’m being unfair but since it’s the only way she’ll be able to have a myspace is with me as a friend, that’s the way it is.

Teens out there, am I being fair to her?
Depends on her maturity and your past interactions/experience. You say at the beginning of your post that she’s very level-headed, but then you have full supervision and control over her profile with a right to see it at any time.

That sounds like a discrepancy. It also sounds pretty ineffective unless you have a program that takes snapshots of your computer screen or copies keystrokes. All she has to do is make another myspace profile, you wouldn’t even know about it.

I was stalked online and it’s a horrible experience. My parents had full access to my site. I wasn’t hiding anything or dabbling in anything crazy. My name just came up in the book as next on the stalker’s list. Quite seriously, the person claimed they went alphabetically.

The most effective and protective thing you could do for your daughter would be to let her have her myspace, but talk with her and play with her online so that she can come to understand basic rules for online security. Do you guys have a firewall? Does she have any information posted? State? Age? Last name? Emails? IP addresses? My stalker found me by matching up my profile picture with a picture on my Dad’s business site. That’s all it took. Several hours running my photo through search engines online.

Of course, now I know I have plenty of personal information and images online. So maybe I am a hypocrite for telling you to stress anonymity to your daughter. But she is in the at-risk age bracket…
 
Hello everyone 🙂

I personally thing that 14 is too young to be on myspace. There are a couple Catholic Christian alternatives. I have posted some of these in a thread on the Hands and Feet Podcast forums. I also posted some good tips on how to block the impure advertising that plagues MySpace. Feel free to PM me if you need help with this.

God Bless
Josh from Ohio’s MySpace page.
 
I don’t know…I think the main thing is that parents have access to the website…

My adult age cousin died from a drug overdoes, and it turns out that he was using My Space to work out getting his drugs… However, I think that if My Space wasn’t available he’d just use IM or something else to do his thing. I think having a page where your kids main communication is Could be a good thing.

Another thing as well, he made up kind of a bogus/joke like proflie for himself. And well it was the jokes that ended up on the news. So, I think you also have to be careful about the image you present of yourself on My space. Believe it or not, its not just your friends that will be looking…

The point is that parents really need to moniter.
 
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