cool but I want CHURCH documents on parenting. Something from the Vatican or someone with the power to speak for the Vatican. Not theories. youre theory, my theory, his theory, her theory. Theories are like elbows, everyone has a couple. I can promise you I have been thoroughly educated in the field of child developement and I have the student loan bills to prove it
! Karin is a great mom, who obviously loves her children very very much and seems to be a great mommy. Hams comments were mean plain and simple. whether intended or not they came across mean. secondly I HAVE YET to see anything from the CHURCH. thats what I need to see to further my view point on this.
Of course the Church won’t issue an encyclical about co sleeping or parenting in general. We are a Universal Church with many different cultures and countries within the family of God–ie, there’s more than America in the Church. Most cultures have a history of bed sharing and natural mothering (even our country, think pioneers! and just having a child development degree doesn’t mean you know anything about anthropology, which is where the study of sleep and family dynamics through history would be held). Industrialized countries tend toward wanting children to be “independent” and also as economies grow and houses can be larger, families become more seperated. That doesn’t mean that the Church doesn’t speak to these issues in a general way, though. I know for instance, that CCL devotes at least a chapter to natural mothering and how ecological breastfeeding can help space babies at least 2 years apart for most women (no, not all, but most–also Sheila Kipply’s book Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing). If memeory serves, they do support this claim with Church teaching. I don’t have the book right infront of me, but I do seem to recall this. I’ll have to see if I have time to look it up later. The fact that we can look to other cultures and see this type of mothering happening naturally and the child spacing as well, must tell us something about how God created us. Natural mothering (or whatever you want to call it) would be the norm and seperate rooms, seperate beds, day care and such would be the deviation from the norm.
This being the case, though, doesn’t say that the way you (personally) parent is wrong, in fact it sounds like the 2 most vocal people arguing against family bed, actually respond to their children like AP parents–listening to their children’s needs and responding accordingly. That’s the core to AP parenting. How we respond may be a bit different, but you assess the situation and respond in a way helpful for both you and the child–be that family bed for some or comforting the child in their own bed for others. Each family is different. I think what most AP/natural mothering supporters find harmful, are those parents who “train” children too early and don’t truly respond to a baby or child in need (“oh, they’re not hungry”, “oh, their not tired”, “oh, they don’t need held”, etc).
I think most supporters of this type of parenting also want to share that what we are doing is just as ‘normal’ as what mainstream America finds normal. We in America, are great at setting up things as normal (homosexuality, promescuity, porn, divorce, abortion, etc) that the Church certainly sees differently (I’m not saying those who don’t use AP are on the same level as these things, only that America’s mindset can make ANYTHING appear normal these days!!!). Being part of the Body of Christ means we often go against the mainstream! We should be counter-cultural in this culture!!!
We live in a land where breastfeeding is shameful, but baring your breasts on Cosmo is heroic!! How crazy is that!!??
I do wish this conversation could be less polarized. We all have things to share with each other, ideas we might not have thought of before. Some seem to shut the others out without even thinking about their ideas (on both sides!) and weighing the ideas against what the Church has to say about the dignity of the human person and about the sanctity of marriage. Balance and moderation in all things…
God bless,
Jennifer
