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happymommy
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:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
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MomaMary8
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We believe in Santa here. Santa is the idea of giving love with out acknowledgement, the gifts are just a representation of that love. Santa gives gifts on Christ’s birthday, 3 gifts in Honor of Him. We do it for love, and in secret so that our young ones can see that they are loved because they are children of God.
When my kids are too old too believe in a real Santa, I take them aside and explain that Santa is now a spiritual Santa, and parents across the world have taken up his lead and give gifts to those around them. We use “santa” as a code name so that it is anonymous gift giving, because love is about making someone else happy, not about the kudos for giving a gift. Once my kids cross that stage I ask them if they are ready to be a giver, not just a receiver.
I love the St. Nicholas brigade! What a great name for it!
When my kids are too old too believe in a real Santa, I take them aside and explain that Santa is now a spiritual Santa, and parents across the world have taken up his lead and give gifts to those around them. We use “santa” as a code name so that it is anonymous gift giving, because love is about making someone else happy, not about the kudos for giving a gift. Once my kids cross that stage I ask them if they are ready to be a giver, not just a receiver.
I love the St. Nicholas brigade! What a great name for it!
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Pani_Rose
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The Eastern Rite Churchs place the importance on St. Nicholas - it is the bishop that comes on his feast day, that is when we have our plays and dinners, not Santa Claus. There are many families I know who even open their gifts on his feast. So the children understand the historical significance of what happens on Christmas morning and why. Then on Christmas morning something special is exchanged. Maybe that can help someone.
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dixieagle
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My dh is Ruthenian (though very far away from any of his churches, as we are way down in southern Alabama.) St. Nicholas has always been a big deal in our family; we emphasized that he was, indeed, a real bishop, and this seemed to help with the transition away from Santa. Until our girls left for college we still put out shoes on St. Nicholas Eve!
They loved the feeling of wonder and magic, and I think that was even strengthened by the importance we placed on the real St. Nick.
Now, the Easter Bunny and tooth fairy are simply silly concoctions; we referred to them, but only in a very superficial way.
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Alix1912
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Santa Claus is very real. He is the spirit of childhood dreams and wishes and the joy of giving. He might get help from mommies and daddies along the way but he is real.
Same with the Easter bunny and the toothfairy. Seriously let kids be kids…they have enough o their lives to spend being pratical and boring adults.
My cousins and I believed in Santa till we were quite old, because my uncles spent an entire Christmas Eve night until 5’0clock in the morning making a video of Santa. My uncle had gotten a video camera that year for Christmas, one of those huge things they sold in the 80’s, and my cousins and I decided to try and video Santa. My uncle told us he wouldn’t come out on film if he didn’t want to…we reply the stockings will still move and the cookie will have to disappear.
Well they (my 2 uncles, and my grandpa) spent the whole night floating stockings across the living room with fishing poles and fishing line, and figuring out how to make a cookie disappear on film.
We watched the video the next morning in amazement. To this day it means the world to me that they went through that much effort to preserve my fantasy. Like I said above…Santa is real, he just has help from mommies and daddies to work his magic.
Same with the Easter bunny and the toothfairy. Seriously let kids be kids…they have enough o their lives to spend being pratical and boring adults.
My cousins and I believed in Santa till we were quite old, because my uncles spent an entire Christmas Eve night until 5’0clock in the morning making a video of Santa. My uncle had gotten a video camera that year for Christmas, one of those huge things they sold in the 80’s, and my cousins and I decided to try and video Santa. My uncle told us he wouldn’t come out on film if he didn’t want to…we reply the stockings will still move and the cookie will have to disappear.
Well they (my 2 uncles, and my grandpa) spent the whole night floating stockings across the living room with fishing poles and fishing line, and figuring out how to make a cookie disappear on film.
We watched the video the next morning in amazement. To this day it means the world to me that they went through that much effort to preserve my fantasy. Like I said above…Santa is real, he just has help from mommies and daddies to work his magic.
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mozier
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My wife and I told our daughters from day one that there was not a literal Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. But there was no “banning” of them or an attitude of “face harsh reality, get used to it, kid.” No, our daughters did sit on Santa’s lap, they have decorated the house with Santa stuff and they have “played along” with the idea throughout their growing up (they are teenagers now).
We always felt that Santa was important, but we wanted our daughters to know he was not a literal person, but rather an image and symbol of the goodness of Christmas. This way, they’d never come back to us and say, “Well, you lied to us about Santa, so why should I believe what you say about God?” Also, I personally didn’t like seeing parents use Santa as a threat to their kids, saying, “You had better behave, or Santa isn’t coming this year!” Later on, the child would learn the whole thing was a lie, so why be good?
I have often wondered if atheists are made because of the Santa Claus myth.
We always felt that Santa was important, but we wanted our daughters to know he was not a literal person, but rather an image and symbol of the goodness of Christmas. This way, they’d never come back to us and say, “Well, you lied to us about Santa, so why should I believe what you say about God?” Also, I personally didn’t like seeing parents use Santa as a threat to their kids, saying, “You had better behave, or Santa isn’t coming this year!” Later on, the child would learn the whole thing was a lie, so why be good?
I have often wondered if atheists are made because of the Santa Claus myth.
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Joe_5859
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An IOU from the Tooth Fairy? LOL, I’ll have to remember that one!one - there was a santa and there is a santa.
there was a st. Nick. now we take up his bag and continue his example with our own kids and become santas ourselves.
two - when the kid starts questioning, I let them question. “Is there really a tooth fairy?” “What do you think?” “I think a real fairy wouldn’t have left me an IOW.” “You don’t think a tooth fairy has to use a bank? Well I guess there might not be one then.” (this after I had 5 dc loose teeth in one weekend and zero cash on hand.)
three - letting them dream as young children should is no more lying than letting my little girl call herself a princess when she plays dress up. she’ll know soon enough that she doesn’t really live in a castle. I don’t have to lie to her at all.
then again, maybe I should ban all pretending in their lives because it’s all just a lie?
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whatevergirl
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I might be an oddball…but I never liked the whole Santa Claus fantasy. It bothered me that someday, my kids would figure it all out, and would they think their dad and I were liars? Well, they are 12 and 16 now…and while they have stopped believing, they never blamed us for carrying on the tale. It is a time of magic, but I really believe that the whole Santa Claus thing paints a picture that kids can have whatever they want, because someone else is bringing the toys. Oprah spoke one time in years past, about how she was always a good little girl, but never got any presents growing up…did Santa not love her, she thought. How sad is that.
So, while it might seem like innocent fun, I can see kids from poor families struggling with wondering why Santa isn’t visiting them.
I also think it’s just a way for our culture to continue to make the holiday more and more secularized. Buying gifts or gifts ‘coming from Santa,’ seem to take front and center stage, instead of the birth of our Savior.
To each’s own. We did the Santa thing, but frankly, I’m glad the facade is over. That’s just me.
I don’t think any harm can be done–but again, think of that Oprah story. She believed in Santa, but there is no Santa…so, she got nothing. So, even if a family doesn’t carry on the Santa fantasy–kids hear about him in school.
So, while it might seem like innocent fun, I can see kids from poor families struggling with wondering why Santa isn’t visiting them.
I also think it’s just a way for our culture to continue to make the holiday more and more secularized. Buying gifts or gifts ‘coming from Santa,’ seem to take front and center stage, instead of the birth of our Savior.
To each’s own. We did the Santa thing, but frankly, I’m glad the facade is over. That’s just me.
I don’t think any harm can be done–but again, think of that Oprah story. She believed in Santa, but there is no Santa…so, she got nothing. So, even if a family doesn’t carry on the Santa fantasy–kids hear about him in school.
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happymommy
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While I think there are some who put too much on Santa and not on the birth of Jesus. I think you can do both and not scar your children and have them think you are a liar. I never felt like my parents lied to me, it was just part of the Christmas fun.
Just because you have Santa doesn’t mean that you have to have a ton of gifts for your kids or spend a huge amount of money. We have a few gifts for each kid and that’s it. Friends of ours give their kids 4 gifts each. 3 representing the 3 gifts to baby Jesus and 1 from Santa.
I’m not a fan of Oprah and have trouble believing most of what she says. And instead of feeling sorry for her, I’d really wish she would retire and just go away, that’s just me.
I know there are plenty of children who don’t get Christmas gifts. I’m sure it is awful for the parents to not be able to give to their children. We do our part to help in our community and buy gifts for those who can’t.
Just because you have Santa doesn’t mean that you have to have a ton of gifts for your kids or spend a huge amount of money. We have a few gifts for each kid and that’s it. Friends of ours give their kids 4 gifts each. 3 representing the 3 gifts to baby Jesus and 1 from Santa.
I’m not a fan of Oprah and have trouble believing most of what she says. And instead of feeling sorry for her, I’d really wish she would retire and just go away, that’s just me.
I know there are plenty of children who don’t get Christmas gifts. I’m sure it is awful for the parents to not be able to give to their children. We do our part to help in our community and buy gifts for those who can’t.
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whatevergirl
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I love this idea–this post warmed my heart. My dh and I sort of explained things this way, but your explanation is really perfect. Plus, there really is a St Nicholas…but it was the notion that someone other than mom and dad are bringing the gifts, is what I didn’t like ‘pretending’ about.
I also remember when I was a kid…I woke up in the middle of the night, I was about 6 y.o., and saw my dad putting the gifts under the tree. I never said anything, but knew that Santa didn’t exist. I didn’t like having to pretend at 6 to believing in something my parents were pretending about. Kind of funny, when you look at it that way…
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stringbeanduck
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That’s why we are called to donate to the santa’s ringing those bells outside malls and food stores. Though it may not cover every poor kid, we should do our best.
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whatevergirl
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But suppose a kid who is from a poor household has a friend who is wealthy…and in school, they talk about what Santa brought. Clearly, there will be an obvious difference, and the child who didn’t receive much might wonder why his/her friend received more. I remember a kid when I was in about 2nd grade, who received very little, and she would say to the teacher…I don’t know why Santa doesn’t leave much for me. I’m always good. I’m better than my cousins are!
I remember that as if it were yesterday. I just don’t think Santa elicits positive emotions for all kids…
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stringbeanduck
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We all have our own crosses to bare. We should pray for those kids whom get little or nothing from Santa. I worked at a shelter once that was giving out toys to young kids 10 and under. The parents were working hard to make ends meet yet couldn’t afford to have Santa for their kids. Some had some many kids so they had to bring them. In a way it was fun seeing the joy of them picking out thier toys right there. Others had one or two kids and were able to find sombody to watch them whilst Santa does his shopping. I understand there is a difference, but that is how our world works. Do we sit around and do nothing about it. NO! We are called to donate and help at these charities to help bring joy to the poor.
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happymommy
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But you could get the same thing from kids that are wealthy and tell everything their parents give them. There will always be a child that gets more then everyone else. You can’t put a cap on what people buy their children for Christmas to keep other children from getting hurt and you can’t blame Santa on it either. It’s the way life works. Some will always have more then others. But those of us with a little more need to do our part in helping those who don’t have enough. In the long run, the little girl who only gets one baby doll for Christmas, will love and treasure that doll far more than the kid who got everything he asked for. My mother grew up very poor. She had very few toys as a child. But she was so very happy. I now have her one doll and stroller, my niece has her other doll. She treasured them and was able to pass them onto us.
We have been working with our kids this past few weeks, helping them go through their toys and get rid of those that they are not playing with so we can give them to the Salvation Army. They understand how lucky they are to have so much. And they want to share with others. They love putting money in the kettles this time of year and helping buy gifts and food for families in our town. Our school distict sends a note home every year for people who need help with Christmas to contact the office and they will help them get the things they need for the holiday. They collect coats, hats and mittens too. Last year a family in our town lost their home and everything they own in a fire. They have twins in the same grade as my daughter, they were in Kindergarten then and the school sent home letters with all of the kids asking for help for this family. They contacted the family to see what they needed and got to work. They had bags of clothes and toys. I had furniture I was going to give them, someone else had a washer and dryer for them. They came, looked at all of these things and decided they didn’t like the stuff and didn’t take any of it. The school then had to make arrangements to have the stuff taken to the Salvation Army. I don’t know if they will go to such great lengths to help someone again, I hope they do and I will be right there helping again, but sometimes people don’t always make it easy to give and help.
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Rob_s_Wife
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I was that poor kid. Santa was very fickle at my house. Sometimes he remembered me and sometimes he didn’t. He never seemed to give me much, esp compared to the kids at school. I have no memory of actually believing in Santa, most likely for that reason.
However, I have two things to note about this.
**A child with a heart of gratitude will be happy with what they receive, regardless. I don’t remember being bitter over the gift, or lack of quantity of gifts. I remember being bitter that other kids had parents who cared enough to bother. I imagine that all year long these things come up for such dc just like they did me. The kids who have parents who get valentine cards for them to pass out. The kids who get to be in extracurriculiars because their parents can bring them after school. Such is life. **
**I would never refuse my own children such a simple joy in b/c another child doesn’t have the same opportunity. By no means do we have lots of money. We’ve always had a 3 gift limit (1 from santa, 2 from us) per child. We figure if Jesus only got 3 gifts, then that should be plenty for any other child.
**
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whatevergirl
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I agree with most everything you’re saying…I’m not trying to “sell” anyone on this way of thinking–but I offer it up as another way to think of it. Do I see longterm harm with children believing in Santa? No. I think it’s a magical way of viewing the holiday…that anything is possible…etc. I also don’t see a thing wrong with telling kids there is no Santa…if that is what a couple chooses to do.
But, I never liked pretending. That’s just me. My dh misses the day when the kids believed…we definitely disagree on this topic. lol
But, I never liked pretending. That’s just me. My dh misses the day when the kids believed…we definitely disagree on this topic. lol
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whatevergirl
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Your post is awesome and I agree…I’m not seeing how this relates to kids needing to believe in Santa?
Teaching kids the value of giving to those who have hit hard times, has nothing to really do with believing or not believing in Santa. Maybe I’m confused.
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_Jenn
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I say let them believe. It’s harmless. I remember figuring out Santa all on my own - I was either 2nd or 3rd grade. I wasn’t traumatized, didn’t feel lied to, etc. I did, however, get the “don’t you dare ruin this for your little sister” speech from Mom. Which was fine - even though I didn’t believe anymore, it was still lots of fun!
My son (6.5) is (we think) questioning it now in his own way, just from comments he’s made. I’m not going to say a word; he’s a thinker, and I’ll let him come to his own conclusions in his own time.
Which was fine - even though I didn’t believe anymore, it was still lots of fun!My son (6.5) is (we think) questioning it now in his own way, just from comments he’s made. I’m not going to say a word; he’s a thinker, and I’ll let him come to his own conclusions in his own time.
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happymommy
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You had written about some children in school who believe in Santa, but did not get as much as the other kids and that they didn’t understand why. My point was that some children will still get more than other children, all because of their parents income or lack thereof and the children’s feelings could be hurt no matter if the gifts given were from Santa or if the kids know the gifts came from the parents. People not teaching their children about Santa is not going to keep a child from getting hurt by others who get more. Some will always have more than others. We all need to help those who can’t afford to give to their children at Christmas and in doing so will give our children a giving heart, which is really what Santa is all about. Giving to others in the name of love.Your post is awesome and I agree…I’m not seeing how this relates to kids needing to believe in Santa?
The rest, about my mom, was to say that those who don’t get a lot of toys are often the ones who treasure what they have. I know my own children have way too much stuff. It’s sinful really how much they have. And they don’t always appreciate what they are given because the are so use to getting new things. We are working very hard to change this, while they are young, so that they will help others and see how very lucky they are.
The reason I mentioned the family with the fire is to show that sometimes those who say they need help want it with conditions. They had nothing, lost it all, but the things these good people got for them weren’t just what they wanted. It was very hurtful. And it might cause some to not want to help out again this time of year. That maybe the people aren’t going to be thankful. That’s what I was getting at. Maybe I went the long way around and maybe I got off topic. Sorry
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