Telling Kids The Truth About Santa & Easter Bunny!

[redtech]

I’m going to keep it up with my kids until they question it. Hopefully it will be a few more years though!!!

My mom was still giving me gifts from Santa at age 21. Something that she did and that I do now and will continue to do is only put out a few gifts and reserve the bulk of them until Christmas Eve night and then when the kids wake up in the morning, even if they don’t believe in Santa, its a nice suprise. Its fun and exciting!

 

[whatevergirl]

I wish there was a Santa…I’d save a lot of money at Christmas. lol

 

[Joe_5859]

I say let them believe. It’s harmless. I remember figuring out Santa all on my own - I was either 2nd or 3rd grade. I wasn’t traumatized, didn’t feel lied to, etc. I did, however, get the “don’t you dare ruin this for your little sister” speech from Mom. Which was fine - even though I didn’t believe anymore, it was still lots of fun!

My son (6.5) is (we think) questioning it now in his own way, just from comments he’s made. I’m not going to say a word; he’s a thinker, and I’ll let him come to his own conclusions in his own time.

My parents did the whole Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing with my siblings and me. I still remember when the girl down the street pulled my brother and I aside and said “Hey, you know what?..” Of course, the first thing we did was run to Mom for verification (and the second thing we did was go to our younger cousin and say “Hey, you know what?..” ). I was disappointed, but I don’t remember ever blaming my parents or feeling lied to or questioning the existence of God because of it.

At the same time, now that I am a parent, I can’t imagine doing the Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing with my kid(s). My wife and I are both torn. Our daughter is just shy of 2, so we don’t really have to address it this year just yet. But pretty soon. Part of me wants to do it to give her that sense of the magical, and yet another part of me would feel like a shyster deceiving his kid. I’m still not sure what we’ll do.

 

[whatevergirl]

My parents did the whole Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing with my siblings and me. I still remember when the girl down the street pulled my brother and I aside and said “Hey, you know what?..” Of course, the first thing we did was run to Mom for verification (and the second thing we did was go to our younger cousin and say “Hey, you know what?..” ). I was disappointed, but I don’t remember ever blaming my parents or feeling lied to or questioning the existence of God because of it.

At the same time, now that I am a parent, I can’t imagine doing the Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy thing with my kid(s). My wife and I are both torn. Our daughter is just shy of 2, so we don’t really have to address it this year just yet. But pretty soon. Part of me wants to do it to give her that sense of the magical, and yet another part of me would feel like a shyster deceiving his kid. I’m still not sure what we’ll do.

That’s the thing…what you said in the first paragraph. My kids never thought less of my dh and me for the whole Santa thing. You never thought less of your parents. I don’t think much of an issue was made really…except my son said he will never ‘lie’ to his kids someday about anything. lol Oh brother.

But, I don’t see it as a bad thing…but I wonder what would have happened had I never been told about Santa, growing up. I probably wouldn’t have been confused as a 6 yr old, getting up in the night, looking at my dad put presents under the tree. I got over it though. Good luck in your choice.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Your post is awesome and I agree…I’m not seeing how this relates to kids needing to believe in Santa? Teaching kids the value of giving to those who have hit hard times, has nothing to really do with believing or not believing in Santa. Maybe I’m confused.

It is their opportunity to help Santa, and St. Nick! It is a time for anonymous giving! Do you really want to teach a kid to say, “Hey, I gave you this” when a family is feeling badly enough? It is hard enough to be noble while being poor, or the victim of a fire. Why add to their discomfort by having their classmates parade what they brought in front of them, or worse, having them remind them they are wearing their former coat, and playing with their former toys? I hate that in a kid. I don’t even let my kids do it with clothes they pass down to other kids after they outgrow them.

Partially aside- There was a child in Meg’s grade a few years back, very well-off family, but arrogant child in the extreme. She decided to tell her classmates there was no Santa. This rude child of course pointed out that her parents spent $$$ on her Christmas presents (They also bought her a pony for First Communion).

Meg came home and discussed it with me. I mentioned the order of St. Nicholas, and maybe it was time to enroll Meg. She said she wanted time to think about it.

She came back the next days and told me, “I don’t think I want to be in the Order of St. Nicholas just now. I think I choose to believe in Santa Claus and not __________ ________ (name of blabbing child).” I said OK by me.

She has still chosen to believe in Santa Claus this year. She has been bold enough to inform classmates on the bus home that indeed, their parents might be giving them gifts this Christmas, but she will be receiving something from Santa Claus, and that’s the way she likes it.

 

[whatevergirl]

burbs…Santa has nothing to do with giving anonymously though. I don’t believe that any name needs to be attached to giving, if you simply want to teach your kids the value of being charitable. Saying it came from Santa doesn’t make the giving more charitable or better, etc…does it? No it really has no bearing.

Hey, I did the whole Santa thing…but if a couple opts out of including Santa in their Christmas, that should not diminish anything. Christmas isn’t about Santa …

 

[sanctamaria17]

I’m torn on this one. You know why? Because I remember being eight years old and collecting things for people in poverty for Christmas and wondering why Santa didn’t visit poor children. To me, it seemed Santa either really couldn’t go to everyone in the world or he showed preference to the rich. At the same time, the story was magical. So I don’t know what I’m telling my own children about Santa.

 

[whatevergirl]

I’m torn on this one. You know why? Because I remember being eight years old and collecting things for people in poverty for Christmas and wondering why Santa didn’t visit poor children. To me, it seemed Santa either really couldn’t go to everyone in the world or he showed preference to the rich. At the same time, the story was magical. So I don’t know what I’m telling my own children about Santa.

Where were you when I needed you, maria? lol This is exactly what I felt about it, although, we did the whole Santa thing.
You said it much more succinctly than me.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

burbs…Santa has nothing to do with giving anonymously though. I don’t believe that any name needs to be attached to giving, if you simply want to teach your kids the value of being charitable. Saying it came from Santa doesn’t make the giving more charitable or better, etc…does it? No it really has no bearing. No. But on the other hand, Santa is a way to establish that anonymity. Could be “nobody” or it could be “Speed Racer” or it could be “Bullwinkle Moose” or “Befana the Witch” for that matter. “Santa” is a traditional name.

I am going out to help St. Nick on Saturday morning, early, leave presents for all sorts of people on doorsteps. Those packages will not be left in the name of Burbs, but they won’t be left just sitting there without any name whatsoever.

Hey, I did the whole Santa thing…but if a couple opts out of including Santa in their Christmas, that should not diminish anything. Whatevergirl, I am not angry with you. I don’t care if a couple decides to say they brought the gifts, or Befana, or Bullwinkle. As long as the couple does not start out like the OP and infer that parents who do have Santa or St. Nick or the Christ Child bring presents are liars and damaging their children in the bargain, somehow undermining their faith. That’s what he said. And people explained their side of it. Christmas isn’t about Santa …True. But we are now back where we started. It happens every year, doesn’t it?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I’m torn on this one. You know why? Because I remember being eight years old and collecting things for people in poverty for Christmas and wondering why Santa didn’t visit poor children. To me, it seemed Santa either really couldn’t go to everyone in the world or he showed preference to the rich. At the same time, the story was magical. So I don’t know what I’m telling my own children about Santa.

Because you got to help Santa! Boy oh boy, what an opportunity! You were eight, which is about the age Santa wears thin. That made it the perfect time to start to help Santa.

 

[whatevergirl]

Well, maybe the OP was hurt by it, who knows. I agree…if you want to opt Santa in or out, it’s your choice. I don’t think it would ruin Christmas to leave Santa out of it, nor do I think it will do irreparable harm if kids grow up hearing about Santa.

I think it’s great what you’re doing burbs…you should sign it burbs…that would be so funny…no one would have a clue who ‘burbs’ is. Santa gets way too much credit. lol

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Well, maybe the OP was hurt by it, who knows. I agree…if you want to opt Santa in or out, it’s your choice. I don’t think it would ruin Christmas to leave Santa out of it, nor do I think it will do irreparable harm if kids grow up hearing about Santa.

I think it’s great what you’re doing burbs…you should sign it burbs…that would be so funny…no one would have a clue who ‘burbs’ is. Santa gets way too much credit. lol

Just little stickers of St. Nicholas in his vestments and miter.

 

[kaws]

I have wondered the same question as to how to approach Santa/ Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy with our Children.

My parents did “Santa”, but told us from the beginning that the tooth fairy was made up. My mom would hide eggs and jelly beans at Easter, but there was never any real attempt to try to convince us that the Easter Bunny had hidden them.

I do have concerns about Santa in the sense that it seems like the focus of Christmas has shifted much more to on Santa than on Jesus. Kids do notice that some kids get much more or less from Santa based more on how well-to-do their parents are than how well behaved they are. It also seems like the Santa push adds to the “gimme gimme gimme - I deserve this - uber consumer attitude”.

We haven’t pushed the whole Santa idea at our 2 year old and probably won’t take him to sit on Santa’s lap or encourage writing letters etc, but we haven’t told him there is no Santa or prohibited him from reading books with Santa references. He will probably open “stocking stuffer” gifts from “Santa” aka grandma & grandpa.

I guess I don’t want to squelch any child innocence or joy, but plan to treat Santa about the same as if there is a real Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh. When the children are old enough we will teach them about the real St. Nicholas, but the focus of Christmas at our house will be on Jesus, not Santa.

 

[whatevergirl]

I have wondered the same question as to how to approach Santa/ Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy with our Children.

My parents did “Santa”, but told us from the beginning that the tooth fairy was made up. My mom would hide eggs and jelly beans at Easter, but there was never any real attempt to try to convince us that the Easter Bunny had hidden them.

I do have concerns about Santa in the sense that it seems like the focus of Christmas has shifted much more to on Santa than on Jesus. Kids do notice that some kids get much more or less from Santa based more on how well-to-do their parents are than how well behaved they are. It also seems like the Santa push adds to the “gimme gimme gimme - I deserve this - uber consumer attitude”.

We haven’t pushed the whole Santa idea at our 2 year old and probably won’t take him to sit on Santa’s lap or encourage writing letters etc, but we haven’t told him there is no Santa or prohibited him from reading books with Santa references. He will probably open “stocking stuffer” gifts from “Santa” aka grandma & grandpa.

I guess I don’t want to squelch any child innocence or joy, but plan to treat Santa about the same as if there is a real Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh. When the children are old enough we will teach them about the real St. Nicholas, but the focus of Christmas at our house will be on Jesus, not Santa.

Great post.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I do have concerns about Santa in the sense that it seems like the focus of Christmas has shifted much more to on Santa than on Jesus. Kids do notice that some kids get much more or less from Santa based more on how well-to-do their parents are than how well behaved they are. It also seems like the Santa push adds to the “gimme gimme gimme - I deserve this - uber consumer attitude”. I think not. I think there are many, many children out there who learn from the generous old elf. This is a blanket statement that offers no proof.

I guess I don’t want to squelch any child innocence or joy, but plan to treat Santa about the same as if there is a real Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh. When the children are old enough we will teach them about the real St. Nicholas, but the focus of Christmas at our house will be on Jesus, not Santa. Well you could do what they do in Germany and have the Christ Child bring the gifts.

Again- I have no problem with parents who don’t want their children to believe in Santa, or want to modify how Christmas presents are received.

To assume that ALL children, everywhere are greedy, or being raised to be greedy, because they believe in Santa, as you do, is a sweeping generalization. To assume that all parents who teach their children to believe in Santa are liars and ruin their faith, as the OP did, is a sweeping generalization.

INSTEAD, why can’t you just raise your children as you choose, and let those of us who like Santa in our children’s lives do so without others putting their noses into it? This happens every year at CAF. Santa is not a sin.

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=119576

 

[kaws]

I think not. I think there are many, many children out there who learn from the generous old elf. This is a blanket statement that offers no proof.

Yes I do think that giving aand sharing are definitely good values and an important part of Christmas. I wasn’t trying to dismiss that.

However I don’t think what I said qualifies a blanket statement without any proof. All one has to do is look around at our culture today to see Christmas portrayed as all about sales and shopping and about what “I want I want I want” more than giving and certainly more than on Jesus.

Like I said we aren’t planning on coming out from the beginning and saying “there is no Santa” and spoiling the fun. However we haven’t made any references specifically to what do you want from Santa or telling our kids that Santa is coming or anything like that.

When the children ask someday about Santa I feel more inclined to tell them the truth (and ask them not to spoil the fun for other kids) than lie to them, but I see no reason to make a point of spoiling the fun.

If our kids are like their father and I were they will probably pretend to believe in Santa longer than they actually believe anyways

Well you could do what they do in Germany and have the Christ Child bring the gifts.

That sounds like a better tradition.

 

[kaws]

Again- I have no problem with parents who don’t want their children to believe in Santa, or want to modify how Christmas presents are received.

To assume that ALL children, everywhere are greedy, or being raised to be greedy, because they believe in Santa, as you do, is a sweeping generalization. To assume that all parents who teach their children to believe in Santa are liars and ruin their faith, as the OP did, is a sweeping generalization.

INSTEAD, why can’t you just raise your children as you choose, and let those of us who like Santa in our children’s lives do so without others putting their noses into it? This happens every year at CAF. Santa is not a sin.

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=119576

Whoa - I think you misunderstood me!

I didn’t and wouldn’'t say all children are greedy or that all children who believe in Santa are greedy.

I do think that Santa as portrayed in our consumeristic society can sometimes fuel greed, but parents can try to counter this.
I wasn’t meaning to imply that Santa is a sin. I certainly did not mean to cause offense.

I didn’t call you or anyone else liars. I do have concerns that it could be confusing to children to tell them that santa is real and then deny it- that it could cause them to wonder if God is also an imaginary figure.

Of course it is up to parents to raise our children as best as we can, and I would not presume to nose into your business.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Whoa - I think you misunderstood me!

I didn’t and wouldn’'t say all children are greedy or that all children who believe in Santa are greedy.

I do think that Santa as portrayed in our consumeristic society can sometimes fuel greed, but parents can try to counter this.
I wasn’t meaning to imply that Santa is a sin. I certainly did not mean to cause offense.

I didn’t call you or anyone else liars.Not you. The Original Poster, or OP, the person who started the thread. Sorry if you thought that was you. I do have concerns that it could be confusing to children to tell them that santa is real and then deny it- that it could cause them to wonder if God is also an imaginary figure. Then look again at that link by the CAF apologist as she discusses Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.
http://forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=119576

Of course it is up to parents to raise our children as best as we can, and I would not presume to nose into your business.

 

[kaws]

Then look again at that link by the CAF apologist as she discusses Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=119576

Yes. I read the link. I personally do still have some concerns that overemphasizing the modern perception/portrayal of Santa could be confusing to children and that Santa as portrayed by current culture can have some negative as well as positive impacts. I grew up like most kids with Santa and I think for the most part I turned out OK I read my kids all sorts of stories. I think imagination, stories, myths, and customs are generally positive and enrich life.

I guess my approach is to treat Santa (of the North pole with Rudolph and the other reindeer and elves) the same as a fictional character like plan to teach my children about the real St. Nicholas when they are older.

Again I’m not criticizing anyone else as a parent or saying “Santa” is a sin. Either way I think that the focus of Christmas should be more on Christ than on Santa and certainly about “stuff”.

 

[Brenda_V]

OK
When a little kid starts questioning the whole thing
do we tell them the truth or
do we do Say & Do anything we can just to make sure they keep believe the lie? & up to what age 3, 5, 7, 10, 12 & why?

Bob, do you have any children? If not then this won’t make sense to you: You tell them when they are ready which tends to be around 10.

I was about 9 when I figured it out, I just went up to my mom and said “Santa isn’t real is he? And if he isn’t then the tooth fairy isn’t and the Easter bunny isn’t either?”, well, she told me the truth and I was just fine with it, I believe in Jesus and Satan and Hell, I did then too and finding out the myth of the others did not in any way upset me. My sister had the unfortunate instance of someone telling her when she was 6 (making me about 4) so my mom had her keep the secret by becoming Santa’s helper. I got to do that when I was 9 for the sake of all the younger children who did not know yet and my peers who hadn’t figured it out yet.

On a side note, I help my daughter teach CCD, we have a class of first graders so this year we decided to use their Birthdays to talk about the different Saints and lo and behold, we have a set of twins born on Dec. 6 - the feast day of St. Nicholas. I will tell you I had them enraptured with the story of St. Nicholas, it was the only time in the year that not a one was fidgeting and I told the story as we know it about St. Nicholas and the widower and his daughters. Did you know that St. Nicholas is the patron of Sailors, unwed women and children?

Then there is the story of the Easter Bunny and Easter Eggs - they are both representatives of New Life which is what the Resurrection is all aobut.

Now the tooth fairy? I don’t know we never did get into her but we still did it.

Brenda V.