Texting his secretary

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morethanme2 said:
Let me repeat. We have the exact same blackberry. I accidentally picked up his and saw the word vagina. It shocked me. I am a bad person for not dropping the phone. You are right.

But what do I think now? I can’t undo what I saw. Wish I could.

The problem I have is that he lied when I asked him about it. He says never texts her. The. When I said … Yes you do. I know you do…

That’s when I started hearing more of the truth about his “buddy”.
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Yeah, I don’t get why people keep going after you about this. You’ve admitted you shouldn’t have looked. After catching sight of the first provocative text it would have very tempting to look further though, and I can totally see how it happened. Probably everyone here has done things they regretted, but nothing you’ve done excuses this guy’s behavior, and frankly it’s probably fortunate that you caught him this early on. He’s shown his true colors, and now you get to move on and find someone who won’t lie and use you. Have you dumped him yet?
 
I haven’t dumped him… I think I’m scared and I feel bad that I snooped. But he has told me that he’s into our relationship and doesn’t Want to give up.

But the problem remains that I’m still scared of what he’s doing behind my back and the fact that I’m having to pay for dates… Until he gets a bonus in march. But I doubt that bonus will apply to anything in regards to me…
 
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LilyM:
An analogy might help - if police have ‘probable cause’ to think you have been involved in a crime, then they have the right (formally granted where required by obtaining a search warrant) to search your person or your belongings or listen to your phone conversations or look at your texts or emails.

This woman almost certainly had ample ‘probable cause’ beforehand to think her bf was dodgy - people rarely read others’ texts just to kill time or anything. If so then she is no lord at fault than the police when they investigate.

Sorry, I meant to say no more at fault.
 
FriendlyFace said:
Yeah, I don’t get why people keep going after you about this. You’ve admitted you shouldn’t have looked. After catching sight of the first provocative text it would have very tempting to look further though, and I can totally see how it happened. Probably everyone here has done things they regretted, but nothing you’ve done excuses this guy’s behavior, and frankly it’s probably fortunate that you caught him this early on. He’s shown his true colors, and now you get to move on and find someone who won’t lie and use you. Have you dumped him yet?
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👍
 
morethanme2 said:
I haven’t dumped him… I think I’m scared and I feel bad that I snooped. But he has told me that he’s into our relationship and doesn’t Want to give up.

But the problem remains that I’m still scared of what he’s doing behind my back and the fact that I’m having to pay for dates… Until he gets a bonus in march. But I doubt that bonus will apply to anything in regards to me…
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If you don’t trust him, you need to either talk to him about it and explain why, or dump him.

I think at this point you really ought to move on. Trust is an essential part of any relationship, whether it’s business, romantic, or just a friendship. It sounds like you don’t have any (with good reason).
 
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