I actually never said they were equal. I said that the state of virginity was objectively superior.
Anyway. I think I’ve stated a good few times what the church position is.
Besides theology there is also a fair amount of psychology that backs up my point.
The whole “love has blinded you” thing is rubbish. Why are you insisting on comparing yo marriage in bygone days. It seems to me that marriage for love is what God intended from the start (see genesis)
I was reifying your statement that “A more modernist idea is that all vocations are equal actually.” I provided a quote where it was actually declared heresy.
You’ve said stuff which is eisegetical at best.
When a marriage hits it’s first serious rough patch is when you discover how crucial confidant(e)s are, the Dunbar number is five.
So what, pre-modern people were just incapable of grasping what God meant? All those saints wholly unaware?
Genesis talks about when two become on flesh which refers to a family unit along with the production and rearing of offspring, but it says nothing about any sort of romantic love. If we are to marry someone we fall in love with then why are we to not divorce someone we fall out of love with? Marriages need to be built on trust, respect and shared values not some torrid whirlwind of infatuation, and as society does the latter all too often it is unsurprising that there are so many divorces. If one falls head over heels in love one tends to ignore advice from friends that the relationship doesn’t seem all that sturdy, some even cut out their friends who try to counsel them. And sure the relationship is great initially, but eventually infatuation wears off and things you were oblivious to start to grate then after some more years you are starting to really hate it, but of course you didn’t maintain close relationships as “your spouse is supposed to be your best friend” so you don’t really have confidants to discuss with and by sixth or seventh year mark you are so fed up you want a divorce. Instead of thinking that perhaps the issue was they didn’t build the foundation right people tend towards saying “well, they clearly weren’t
the one”, they weren’t the one God made as their “soulmate”, but the thing is the concept of soulmate is modernist twaddle.
Well, the “love has blinded you” may be harsh but it may not be all rubbish.
I know people who have had arranged marriages and they tell me that love grew after the marriage. Marriage can and should cultivate love but the idea of romantic love as a reason for marriage is a fairly modern invention. The idea of marriage as the most fulfilling relationship is part of the whole romanticism movement which is again a fairly new invention of the last few centuries.
No wonder marriages do not last anymore. Once the romance and squishy feelings are gone and real life takes over, people mistake that for the marriage being over. Now for people to stick to it and fight and persevere for each other, than real love may grow. In the meantime maybe even married people need others for the support. When my parent’s marriage hit a rough patch it was the extended family who helped them work things out. My mother’s sisters gave her the friendship and support she needed. Now they are close to celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
Romance and love are two different things.
Yes, one needs intimate friends, some of which can be family, but unrelated people are also important, especially when one needs to grieve.
