The church finally says ABC is ok!! What would you all think of that??

[Corki]

Jennifer you made me smile…I was pondering the same thing.

Me too but was afraid to ask.

 

[Sullibe]

She’s talked about this in another thread - or maybe it was earlier on in this one.

Some people simply don’t WANT to have 6 children. They aren’t FIT for it. It isn’t their thing.

She has 2 children she is happy with and finds that to be enough for her personally.

Everyone is different.

Everyone is different. But being “not fit” = not emotionally capable of handling another child at this moment in time, is very different from another child “not being their thing”.

The former is genuine concern for the welfare of both current and potentially future children.

The latter is seeing another child as a burden that will interfere in the current lifestyle had by the parents (generically speaking).

Legitimate financial concerns, physical health issues, mental health issues, among other things are valid reasons for postponing pregnancy, even indefinitely. But simply “not wanting another child,” and then using a device specifically created (regardless of statistics) to prevent pregnancy, is telling God that you know better than He does what’s best for you. (royal “you”, in this sentence).

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I think what she means is, sex during your fertile time with a condom is still pretty risky. I think even the Take Charge of Your Fertility book (Toni Welscher?) says this. Any sperm that escape the condom when you have fertile mucous have a good chance at making it to the egg.

Creighton forbids any genital contact during fertile times. The sperm doesn’t even need to escape the condom, it could happen during foreplay, any genital contact.

If your adament enough to want to avoid pregnancy, this seems actually not very logical.

 

[Debora123]

But why?

I know it’s none of my business, so please don’t feel obligated to answer, but why are you trying to avoid pregnancy?
Serious health or financial reasons?

My husband and I have just recently gotten married this past August, both fresh outta college. It is for financial reasons that we want to wait.

I want to do it right, if at all possible. I want to be able to stay at home and take care of my children and have enough money to support them and give them everything that they deserve.

I don’t want to leave my kids with a babysitter while I go off to work to help pay for food and rent. They deserve the best that I have to offer, and it simply isn’t time yet.

My husband just recently graduated from flight school as a pilot, but in the aviation world, making decent money is a seniority thing. He simply does not have that yet, but he will in 5-10 years.

I don’t really want to pry, but you seem so adamant in trying to prove that NFP is just as contraceptive in nature as ABC, almost like you trying to make yourself feel better about using condoms to prevent pregnancy, that you’re completely missing the point.

As you can see from my past couple of posts, this is not the case.

You’re approaching NFP purely from a contraceptive mentality. You use condoms with a contraceptive mentality and then you are trying to justify that mentality by attempting to prove that NFP, when used to postpone pregnancy by abstaining from sex on fertile days, is equally contraceptive, especially when used for non-just reasons. Of course people use NFP with a contraceptive mentality, but that doesn’t make it right. It just means people are sinners, and makes them wrong. Majority doesn’t rule in matters of morality.

Ok

 

[Debora123]

Gee and everyone knows that right after 2 comes 6!

I guess 2 was just the right number for her!

 

[joclucsylv]

259 responses to an OP that is totally absurd?



Why?

It truly truly insults me that anyone thinks this is absurd. I have finally made a little headway in understanding this whole NFP thing. It’s to late for me as we made the decision to snip my husband, but perhaps if I can get a good understanding of NFP, I can save my girls from going down the same path. Do you still think this thread is absurd???

 

[Debora123]

It truly truly insults me that anyone thinks this is absurd. I have finally made a little headway in understanding this whole NFP thing. It’s to late for me as we made the decision to snip my husband, but perhaps if I can get a good understanding of NFP, I can save my girls from going down the same path. Do you still think this thread is absurd???

I completely agree. Comments about certain threads being absurd are both uncalled for and rude. If you don’t like the thread, don’t post. Simple as that.

 

[Corki]

It truly truly insults me that anyone thinks this is absurd. I have finally made a little headway in understanding this whole NFP thing. **It’s to late for me as we made the decision to snip my husband, **but perhaps if I can get a good understanding of NFP, I can save my girls from going down the same path. Do you still think this thread is absurd???

So, I guess your answer to the actual OP question would be “oh, gee, I guess I talked my husband into mutilating himself for nothing.”

 

[joclucsylv]

She’s talked about this in another thread - or maybe it was earlier on in this one.

Some people simply don’t WANT to have 6 children. They aren’t FIT for it. It isn’t their thing.

She has 2 children she is happy with and finds that to be enough for her personally.

Everyone is different.

Bingo!! I see a baby and have NO desire to have another one. I don’t want to take care of another one. My kids are at an age where they are less reliant on me and I am loving it. I work full time and don’t want to put another child in daycare. My husband is wonderful but works away all week so it is tough being a single mom during the week. Are those just reasons or selfish ones.

 

[joclucsylv]

So, I guess your answer to the actual OP question would be “oh, gee, I guess I talked my husband into mutilating himself for nothing.”

Pretty much. He was more willing than me to be open to life. Now I am sad.

 

[Debora123]

Bingo!! I see a baby and have NO desire to have another one. I don’t want to take care of another one. My kids are at an age where they are less reliant on me and I am loving it. I work full time and don’t want to put another child in daycare. My husband is wonderful but works away all week so it is tough being a single mom during the week. Are those just reasons or selfish ones.

Just!

I think it’s selfish when you have no kids or when you only have 1 kid (unless there is serious health/financial reasons). A child needs a playmate and needs to learn how to share. This is more easily accomplished when they have at least one sibling.

 

[Sullibe]

My husband and I have just recently gotten married this past August, both fresh outta college. It is for financial reasons that we want to wait.

I want to do it right, if at all possible. I want to be able to stay at home and take care of my children and have enough money to support them and give them everything that they deserve.

I don’t want to leave my kids with a babysitter while I go off to work to help pay for food and rent. They deserve the best that I have to offer, and it simply isn’t time yet.

My husband just recently graduated from flight school as a pilot, but in the aviation world, making decent money is a seniority thing. He simply does not have that yet, but he will in 5-10 years.

I understand, I do. I really do. My husband and I got married three months after we graduated from college. I started working at a job making less than $20,000 a year and my husband was going to grad school. We got pregnant (completely unintentionally, because back then the only reason I wasn’t on birth control was because I had never been to OBGYN before) 6 weeks after we got married. I cried, for three days.

But a stroke of a good luck came and my husband began working full time at his grad school as an admission associate and later as the director of instructional technology. I didn’t like the idea of leaving my child with babysitters either, but I found a good day care that I trusted, and when I had the opportunity, I went to work for that company. At that point I was only working for the insurance (insurance through my husband’s job was astronomically unreasonable) and because I was working for the day-care, it gave me the best of three worlds: I could see my child, I got discounted child-care, and I was helping bring home some money while also maintaining our health insurance.

The point of all this is, that I understand wanting to “do it right”, but if I learned nothing else in that first year that my husband and I were married (and actually I keep learning this all the time), it’s that God really does provide when you let go of what you “want” and trust in what HE wants.

 

[joclucsylv]

Jennifer you made me smile…I was pondering the same thing.

You girls are to pure lol! I guess it takes a mind like mine to know where she is coming from!

 

[Corki]

My husband and I have just recently gotten married this past August, both fresh outta college. It is for financial reasons that we want to wait.

**I want to do it right, if at all possible. I want to be able to stay at home and take care of my children and have enough money to support them and give them everything that they deserve. **
I don’t want to leave my kids with a babysitter while I go off to work to help pay for food and rent. They deserve the best that I have to offer, and it simply isn’t time yet.

My husband just recently graduated from flight school as a pilot, but in the aviation world, making decent money is a seniority thing. He simply does not have that yet, but he will in 5-10 years.

Ok

If you read the bolded part of what you wrote, you can probably see why so many of the responses you are getting are of the exasperated kind.

You want to “do it right” but you still use contraception in your marriage. So, you don’t really want to do it “right” you just want to do it your way. The main reason you don’t want to welcome a child in your marriage (as you promised at the altar) is that you don’t want to work but you still want “the best” for your future children.

I know you are young and a newlywed but you have a lot of things completely backwards.

 

[Debora123]

I understand, I do. I really do. My husband and I got married three months after we graduated from college. I started working at a job making less than $20,000 a year and my husband was going to grad school. We got pregnant (completely unintentionally, because back then the only reason I wasn’t on birth control was because I had never been to OBGYN before) 6 weeks after we got married. I cried, for three days.

But a stroke of a good luck came and my husband began working full time at his grad school as an admission associate and later as the director of instructional technology. I didn’t like the idea of leaving my child with babysitters either, but I found a good day care that I trusted, and when I had the opportunity, I went to work for that company. At that point I was only working for the insurance (insurance through my husband’s job was astronomically unreasonable) and because I was working for the day-care, it gave me the best of three worlds: I could see my child, I got discounted child-care, and I was helping bring home some money while also maintaining our health insurance.

The point of all this is, that I understand wanting to “do it right”, but if I learned nothing else in that first year that my husband and I were married (and actually I keep learning this all the time), it’s that God really does provide when you let go of what you “want” and trust in what HE wants.

Glad to hear things worked out well for you!

I believe I am doing God’s will just fine.

I have always been vehemently against day care. It works just fine for others, I’m sure, but won’t fly with me!

 

[Debora123]

You want to “do it right” but you still use contraception in your marriage. So, you don’t really want to do it “right” you just want to do it your way. The main reason you don’t want to welcome a child in your marriage (as you promised at the altar) is that you don’t want to work but you still want “the best” for your future children.

… I don’t have much to say to that. Actually, I do, but will opt not to. People will always make false assumptions and throw out rash accusations. That’s alright.

I believe that I am doing nothing wrong.

 

[Sullibe]

Bingo!! I see a baby and have NO desire to have another one. I don’t want to take care of another one. My kids are at an age where they are less reliant on me and I am loving it. I work full time and don’t want to put another child in daycare. My husband is wonderful but works away all week so it is tough being a single mom during the week. Are those just reasons or selfish ones.

Honestly, in my opinion, I find them selfish, if only because you’ve admitted that you “forced” your husband to get sterilized simply because of what you “want”. I don’t mean for that be attacking, it’s only my opinion and only of your reasons, not of you.

I don’t think you’re thread is absurd, though perhaps a unusual, but any way to get at learning the truth is important, as I’ve said before, it took me nearly 8 years, after conversion and 6 years of marriage before I really began understanding this teaching. And I wouldn’t necessarily call you selfish, I don’t know you, you could be extremely generous and charitable with nearly everything else.

I understand the hesitation behind wanting to actively trying to pursue more children, but to say “never, ever, ever”, when, I’m guessing, you’re probably younger than I am and I know I have many more years of fertility down the road, seems short-sighted. What happens if, 5 years from now, God places a desire in your heart to have another child? It’s not always about what we want, but it should always be about what God wants for us.

I hope that makes sense, and it does not come off being mean.

 

[Corki]

… I don’t have much to say to that. Actually, I do, but will opt not to. People will always make false assumptions and throw out rash accusations. That’s alright.

I believe that I am doing nothing wrong.

If you believe you are doing nothing wrong, you are delusional.

You came on this Catholic forum and proudly proclaimed that you use condoms. It’s not a false assumption on my part if you stated it clearly yourself.

You know that this is against Church teaching. How can it be any BUT wrong? Disagreeing with the Church doesn’t magically turn wrong into right.

As for rash accusations, I haven’t accused you of anything at all - rashly or not.

 

[Sullibe]

I believe that I am doing nothing wrong.

Just to clairfy, you honestly believe that God, after thousands of years of saying “NO” to contraception, is okay with you using contraception?

No offense, intended, but that seems rather arrogant to me.

 

[Debora123]

If you believe you are doing nothing wrong, you are delusional.

You came on this Catholic forum and proudly proclaimed that you use condoms. It’s not a false assumption on my part if you stated it clearly yourself.

You know that this is against Church teaching. How can it be any BUT wrong? Disagreeing with the Church doesn’t magically turn wrong into right.

As for rash accusations, I haven’t accused you of anything at all - rashly or not.