The Cold Conservative

[FCEGM]

the more answers people give in this thread, the less i feel like i belong in the Catholic church. you know, my wife and i have been invited to protestant churches and the people are so nice and caring and friendly, and we go to the Catholic church and nobody will even look at you. how can people claim this is the “one true church” when nobody has any care in the world for anyone else? every Sunday i just grow more and more disgusted, and i am seriously looking elsewhere for a decent church where people actually CARE about others.

It seems you are seeing what you want to see in the responses you’ve received. Now it may very well be that everyone in your parish is cold as ice, but do you really think that no one in your parish cares about others? Don’t let your own hyperbole get in the way of seeing past your perception of the faults of your fellow-parishioners to the hearts that lie beneath the appearance.

 

[dang71]

It seems you are seeing what you want to see in the responses you’ve received. Now it may very well be that everyone in your parish is cold as ice, but do you really think that no one in your parish cares about others? Don’t let your own hyperbole get in the way of seeing past your perception of the faults of your fellow-parishioners to the hearts that lie beneath the appearance.

right, ok.
in your first post you accuse me of un-authentic piety and “pseuso-luv”, and now you say my own “hyperbole” is blinding me. i guess your idea of warmth and friendship is much different than mine.

 

[dang71]

and since Mother Teresa was brought up:

In the Heart of the World, pg 13

Peace begins with a smile. Smile five times a day at someone you don’t really want to smile at at all. Do it for peace. Let us radiate the peace of God and so light His light and extinguish in the world and in the hearts of all men all hatred and love for power. Smile at one another. It is not always easy.

…

God loves the world through you and through me. Are we that love and that compassion? Christ came to be his Fathers compassion. God is loving the world through you and through me and through all those who are His love and compassion in the world.

 

[dang71]

more of Mother Teresa:

In the Light of the World, pg 67

One day I was walking down the street in London, and I saw a tall, thin man sitting in the corner, all huddled up, looking most miserable.

I went up to him, and shook his hand, and asked him how he was. He looked up at me and said, “Oh! After such a long, long time I feel the warmth of a human hand!” And he sat up.

There was such a beautiful smile on his face because somebody was kind to him. Just shaking his hand had made him feel like somebody.

For me, he was Jesus in a distressing disguise. I gave him the feeling of being loved by somebody, the joy of being loved.

Somebody loves us, too - God Himself. We have been created to love and to be loved.

 

[Rawb]

Dang71, I was with you until a few posts ago.

I will agree that many people who are devoutly Catholic may come across as cold during Mass. I myself might. I don’t applaud in Church, I don’t hold hands during the Our Father, I mostly keep my head down after Communion (though if our eyes meet I’ll smile).

But to then say that because I do these things I’m not friendly, or don’t care about other people, well that puts you right up there with those “cold and uncaring” people you are remarking upon. It so happens that I care very much about my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray for them at Mass. I pray for them outside of Mass. I have friends in The Church. Almost everyday I pray for the end of abortion, poverty, the effects of racism and our sexualized culture. I work for an after school program trying to keep kids out of gangs, and I volunteer at my parish CCD. I care very much about other people.

But, Mass is Mass. Mass is so far not about being brought together. In fact, it used to be that Mass was celebrated every day by every Priest. They were required, even if alone. Mass is about Holy Communion, and absolutely nothing should keep us from focusing on Christ and worship at Mass.

the more answers people give in this thread, the less i feel like i belong in the Catholic church. you know, my wife and i have been invited to protestant churches and the people are so nice and caring and friendly, and we go to the Catholic church and nobody will even look at you.

So the mark of the True Church is whether the others in the pew are smiling at you?

how can people claim this is the “one true church” when nobody has any care in the world for anyone else?

As I said before, this is very uncharitable, but I expect it just comes from extreme frustration.

every Sunday i just grow more and more disgusted, and i am seriously looking elsewhere for a decent church where people actually CARE about others

If you want to leave His Church because of how you feel others feel towards you, well, that’s your business I suppose. I do feel sorry for you; it is entirely possibly you have a parish that is very unconcerned about others, but I rather doubt it. A total condemnation of everyone within your parish boundaries is the result of frustration and over-analysis I suspect. I urge you to stick with true-doctrine over smiles and friendship.

I’ll pray for you, and hope you meet some Catholic friends soon. Nothing I’ve said is meant to be inflammatory or uncharitable, but, actually, because I care about you and your wife. May God help and bless you in your frustration and search.

 

[FCEGM]

right, ok.
in your first post you accuse me of un-authentic piety and “pseuso-luv”, and now you say my own “hyperbole” is blinding me. i guess your idea of warmth and friendship is much different than mine.

Well, as I said, you are seeing what you want to see. I in no way accused you of anything. I used the term “authentic piety” because authentic piety does bring forth great love for God’s people (the kind of love you rightly want to see and experience with your fellow-parishioners). INauthentic piety, otoh, is that which gives the appearance of piety but doesn’t result in any spiritual growth in the virtues, especially charity for others. Nor did I accuse you of “pseudo-‘luv’”; I used that term to distinguish a love based on the truth of God’s love from the “luv” that is a shallow and fruitless substitute for the genuine article. It was a descriptive use, not an accusatory one.

Can you truthfully say that everyone in your parish is as cold as you say (cold not just how you see them, but how they actually are)? If not, then isn’t it fair to say that your description of your fellow-perishioners at least tends to hyperbole?

It was good to see the quotes from Mother Teresa. That love and tender compassion she had for others, especially for those she saw as Christ in a “distressing disguise”, arose precisely from that authentic piety I refer to above. Truth without love is, indeed, cold and off-putting. Love without truth, is frivolous and not worthy of the name. It’s the beauty and duty of the Church to form God’s people in both; I pray that you, I and all Catholics reflect both in our lives.