The Death of Pretty (an article on how many women want to be seen now)

[Debora123]

True, but if your the one virtuous woman in a sea of not so virtuous ones you set a bar that wasn’t there before. He would have no cause to contemplate reaching that level of virtue for a woman if you were not there. And what you have going for you is that every man in the depth of his heart wants the affection of a virtuous woman. You give his conscience a chance to lead him there if there is enough cause to make him think. The opposite works as well for men being a beacon, only not as well.

If you think men with virtuous wives don’t look at porn, you would be waayyy wrong. Just look at all the threads on this forum about the wife who stumbled upon pornography on her husband’s account.

Finally, I think they both have to be virtuous for each other. I don’t think women have to be more virtuous so that they can marry a less virtuous man and help him be more virtuous.

 

[Nate13]

If you think men with virtuous wives don’t look at porn, you would be waayyy wrong. Just look at all the threads on this forum about the wife who stumbled upon pornography on her husband’s account.

Finally, I think they both have to be virtuous for each other. I don’t think women have to be more virtuous so that they can marry a less virtuous man and help him be more virtuous.

I’m describing an effect in general. There will always be cases where it falls short. That man is probably far more virtuous because of his wife than he would have been otherwise though, and you know it.

 

[Walking_Home]

True, but if your the one virtuous woman in a sea of not so virtuous ones you set a bar that wasn’t there before. He would have no cause to contemplate reaching that level of virtue for a woman if you were not there. And what you have going for you is that every man in the depth of his heart wants the affection of a virtuous woman. You give his conscience a chance to lead him there if there is enough cause to make him think. The opposite works as well for men being a beacon, only not as well.

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Again — a** true **virtuous man – would not need a “bar to be set”.

 

[Debora123]

Haha so typical. Why are virtuous people climbing over themselves to be the follower? Why not take the power that GOD has naturally designed women to have and use it for good? I try to set the best example I can as well, but I can’t help it if a woman doing the same naturally has a greater effect than my own example.

I am not sure what you are trying to say here. Would you please mind clarifying?

I already know you apparently disagree that it should be a 50/50 responsibility for both men and women to respect each other and themselves, but I’m not sure what specifically you are talking about here.

 

[Debora123]

I’m describing an effect in general. There will always be cases where it falls short. That man is probably far more virtuous because of his wife than he would have been otherwise though, and you know it.

Well I think “in general,” if someone doesn’t have a pure heart, marrying someone who does isn’t going to help much, except hurt the other person who deserved better.

 

[Walking_Home]

If you think men with virtuous wives don’t look at porn, you would be waayyy wrong. Just look at all the threads on this forum about the wife who stumbled upon pornography on her husband’s account.

Finally, I think they both have to be virtuous for each other.** I don’t think women have to be more virtuous so that they can marry a less virtuous man and help him be more virtuous**.

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Agree.

 

[Nate13]

I am not sure what you are trying to say here. Would you please mind clarifying?

I already know you apparently disagree that it should be a 50/50 responsibility for both men and women to respect each other and themselves, but I’m not sure what specifically you are talking about here.

:banghead: slander haha.

I have said NO such thing. You have only implied that I said it is not a 50/50 responsibility. I said women have more power than men to make a difference by the virtuous example they set. In the respect that with more power comes more responsibility I guess yes, I am saying women have more responsibility in that respect if that is what you were implying. If you disagree that women have more power in this respect then no they would not emphatically have more responsibility.

 

[bmullins]

If you think men with virtuous wives don’t look at porn, you would be waayyy wrong.

I agree 100%. A man’s wife can be completely perfect to his needs and he could still find himself looking at pornography. His wife has nothing to do with his sin. There are many men on this very forum who even talk about chastity and purity, yet there are still some who you would find surfing pictures on face book of other women, looking through the news to try to find naughty tid bits about cute actresses, and even looking directly at dirty pictures through the net.

In order to keep myself from any temptation at all I installed a program called K9 web protection on my computer, and had my wife set the password for it. Now I don’t even have to worry about ‘stumbling’ into a website I didn’t mean to look at. And since I don’t know the password, there’s no chance I’ll ever override it to see why a website is blocked. If it is blocked I just don’t look at it.

 

[Nate13]

Well I think “in general,” if someone doesn’t have a pure heart, marrying someone who does isn’t going to help much, except hurt the other person who deserved better.

A virtuous woman would refuse to marry a man that did not have a pure heart in her opinion, thus setting the standard.

 

[Debora123]

:banghead: slander haha.

I have said NO such thing. You have only implied that I said it is not a 50/50 responsibility. I said women have more power than men to make a difference by the virtuous example they set. In the respect that with more power comes more responsibility I guess yes, I am saying women have more responsibility in that respect if that is what you were implying. If you disagree that women have more power in this respect then no they would not emphatically have more responsibility.

I don’t understand you.

First you say you have said “no such thing” (such thing being that the responsibility is 50/50).

But then you contradict yourself a couple lines later by saying “In the respect that with more power comes more responsibility I guess yes, I am saying women have more responsibility in that respect if that is what you were implying.”



Now to answer your question, YES, I DO disagree that women have the majority of the responsibility. I think the responsibility is equal, and I believe I have made that clear.

 

[Nate13]

I don’t understand you.

First you say you have said “no such thing” (such thing being that the responsibility is 50/50).

But then you contradict yourself a couple lines later by saying “In the respect that with more power comes more responsibility I guess yes, I am saying women have more responsibility in that respect if that is what you were implying.”



Now to answer your question, YES, I DO disagree that women have the majority of the responsibility. I think the responsibility is equal, and I believe I have made that clear.

Do you believe virtuous women have more power than virtuous men to have an impact on members of the opposite sex with regards to their pursuit of virtue? Also, why is responsibility a bad thing?

 

[Debora123]

I agree 100%. A man’s wife can be completely perfect to his needs and he could still find himself looking at pornography. His wife has nothing to do with his sin. There are many men on this very forum who even talk about chastity and purity, yet there are still some who you would find surfing pictures on face book of other women, looking through the news to try to find naughty tid bits about cute actresses, and even looking directly at dirty pictures through the net.

A very sad, but true reality.

In order to keep myself from any temptation at all I installed a program called K9 web protection on my computer, and had my wife set the password for it. Now I don’t even have to worry about ‘stumbling’ into a website I didn’t mean to look at. And since I don’t know the password, there’s no chance I’ll ever override it to see why a website is blocked. If it is blocked I just don’t look at it.

Good for you sir.

 

[Debora123]

Do you believe virtuous women have more power than virtuous men to have an impact on members of the opposite sex?

No I do not. It just depends on the man and the woman involved, and how easily influenced they can be by another person’s moral views.

I don’t think men are more easily influenced than women are, and vice versa. I think they are about the same, depending on the specific man or woman involved.

 

[Debora123]

A virtuous woman would refuse to marry a man that did not have a pure heart in her opinion, thus setting the standard.

… And vice versa.

Men aren’t the only ones trying to get married. It’s a 2 way street.

 

[Nate13]

No I do not. It just depends on the man and the woman involved, and how easily influenced they can be by another person’s moral views.

I don’t think men are more easily influenced than women are, and vice versa. I think they are about the same, depending on the specific man or woman involved.

I have a compromise for you in wording

men and women who have more of an influence over members of the opposite sex or just more influence in general, have more of a responsibility to be virtuous than those who don’t.

You could probably replace “more of an influence” with “more charismatic” if you wanted to.

(I still hold that this is more often the case with women than it is men though )

 

[Debora123]

I have a compromise for you in wording

men and women who have more of an influence over members of the opposite sex or just more influence in general, have more of a responsibility to be virtuous than those who don’t.

You could probably replace “more of an influence” with “more charismatic” if you wanted to.

(I still hold that this is more often the case with women than it is men though )

So you’re saying that people who have a greater influence on others have a bigger responsibility to be virtuous people?

Mmmm… I don’t think so. God gave us His commandments, and we are ALL equally responsible to live by them.

 

[Nate13]

So you’re saying that people who have a greater influence on others have a bigger responsibility to be virtuous people?

Mmmm… I don’t think so. God gave us His commandments, and we are ALL equally responsible to live by them.

So your denying that with more power comes more responsibility? I would hope its self-evident that some people have more influence or more charisma than others do, thus more power. This power was given to them by God as well.

 

[Debora123]

So your denying that with more power comes more responsibility? I would hope its self-evident that some people have more influence or more charisma than others do, thus more power. This power was given to them by God as well.

I don’t disagree that with “more power comes more responsibility,” but I think it doesn’t apply in some cases.

I believe we are all equally responsible for living out the commandments God gave us.

 

[bmullins]

If we surmise that people in positions of greater influence have more responsibility to live a moral life, then we’d also be saying that people with less influence have more leniency to not live a moral life.

We all have to live a moral life, regardless of power or influence.

 

[Debora123]

If we surmise that people in positions of greater influence have more responsibility to live a moral life, then we’d also be saying that people with less influence have more leniency to not live a moral life.

We all have to live a moral life, regardless of power or influence.

Absolutely.