The Death of Pretty (an article on how many women want to be seen now)

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Interesting opinion.

I would prefer “innocent fathers” to teach their sons to look at women with innocent hearts.
I certainly hope that you don’t believe that teenage daughters should be allowed to wear whatever they want and supported in that decision without being offered parental guidance, including parental prohibition where needed. Especially if they say they like it because it’s sexy. And no, putting all the blame on men and telling the girl than in ideal world she could wear whatever she wanted wouldn’t be proper parental action. Proper education of children by parents cannot omit proper use of human sexuality (this includes ordering our desire to be desired).
It seems like you are nitpicking at specific people, such as Severus, Walking Home, and myself.
I value your opinion and it’s a good thing you will just say it instead of harbouring some kind of resentment but no, I’m not on some kind of debate war.
Unless of course, you have been in 100% absolute and total agreement with what the other posters here have said (such as Nate and lil flower), you seem to be specifically nit picking at US for some reason.
No, of course not. I think I have disagreed with everybody at this point. And please note that you, Severus and I have written most of the posts in this thread. But if you suggest I should give Nate a harder time, I will look into it. 😉
Are you comparing the wearing by a woman of ‘immodest’ dress as evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that she has the intent to arouse and incite lust? I hope not.
No, of course not, but you are way overinterpreting whatever I say. I fail to see how and where I may have given you basis for such far leaps. Those leaps are making discussion rather hard.
Re your side comment, , if the man who shot his neighbour between the eyes did so in a national park in the US, was actually trying to shoot a grizzly coming at a run towards them and shot his neighbour as he was a lousy shot or could not aim properly because of his fright, would not be a fanciful, remote possibility.
Of course not. But we were not talking about a national park or a grizzly bear or anything like that. In terms of proper logic, we should not presume exceptions and very unusual situations. In fact, the leap from a dead body and a rifle to a national park situation was rather fanciful in itself. What is also important is that neither the prosecutor nor the jury will split hairs too much in imagining any story that would have the defendant not intending whatever he did. Sure, they will examine the weapon, they might ask what exactly he was firing it, they might even require him to undergo a psych evaluation, depending on the jurisdiction he might be able to take polygraph, pass it and enjoy whatever credibility it had. But when you see someone do something, you aren’t way off in presuming, as a working presumption, that he intended what he did.

In the case of the woman, perhaps she’s clueless about the effect. Perhaps she thinks she’s just pretty and attractive but not on the raunchy side. Perhaps she doesn’t think at all. But it doesn’t really get much fancier than this and we’ve got to take realism into consideration. After all, we aren’t putting someone in the gas chamber in a criminal trial, we’re building a working presumption based on legitimate (name removed by moderator)ut. If you wear the current police uniform and trying to direct traffic, nobody will wonder if you aren’t an actor, an experimenting researcher or an impostor. Catch my drift?
 
Originally Posted by francisca
Would you mind clarifying what exactly you mean here?

Do you mean:
  1. That it is impossible for fathers to teach their sons to look at women with innocent hearts when a woman is dressed provocatively?
OR
  1. That is is impossible for men to look at women with innocent hearts when a woman is dressed provocatively?
Either one of those sounds pretty terrible and insulting to the entire male gender.
 
No, of course not. I think I have disagreed with everybody at this point. And please note that you, Severus and I have written most of the posts in this thread. But if you suggest I should give Nate a harder time, I will look into it. 😉
No, it just seems like you were nitpicking at particular people for a while, but have thus changed gears a little since I’ve mentioned it.
 
Children learn by example. The son will learn to be a virtuous man by seeing his father as a virtuous man. The way his father behaves around a woman, no matter how she is dressed, is how the son will perceive it is supposed to be done. That’s why men should be treating all women, no matter what they wear or how, with dignity.

The problem with blaming it on concupiscence is that we are saying, we are tempted, so it’s not our fault. Just because we are tempted to look lustfully at a woman because of her clothes, does not make it her fault. Men have different temperaments. What I may find to be tempting, you may not see as tempting at all. I might find a woman in shorts to her knees as unbearable to see, while you might be fine with daisy dukes and a halter top.
 
Nope, you’ve said it before. See, I do know what’s going on in this thread. 🙂

Now, where were we?
Lil Flower, let’s at least try to remain consistent. You accused me of this:
Please don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve noticed you say that to people who simply don’t agree with you.
You are the ONLY person I’ve said that to.

Saying “you don’t know what you are talking about” to someone is completely different from telling someone that **I **don’t understand them:
Originally Posted by Debora123
Nate, what in heaven’s name are you even talking about??
I honestly have no idea where you are going with this or what precisely you are trying to say. So I will just leave it at that.
Originally Posted by **Debora123 **
I don’t understand you.
 
Children learn by example. The son will learn to be a virtuous man by seeing his father as a virtuous man. The way his father behaves around a woman, no matter how she is dressed, is how the son will perceive it is supposed to be done. That’s why men should be treating all women, no matter what they wear or how, with dignity.

The problem with blaming it on concupiscence is that we are saying, we are tempted, so it’s not our fault. Just because we are tempted to look lustfully at a woman because of her clothes, does not make it her fault. Men have different temperaments. What I may find to be tempting, you may not see as tempting at all. I might find a woman in shorts to her knees as unbearable to see, while you might be fine with daisy dukes and a halter top.
👍

Thanks for being logical, and for being the voice of reason.
 
I certainly hope that you don’t believe that teenage daughters should be allowed to wear whatever they want and supported in that decision without being offered parental guidance, including parental prohibition where needed. Especially if they say they like it because it’s sexy. And no, putting all the blame on men and telling the girl than in ideal world she could wear whatever she wanted wouldn’t be proper parental action. Proper education of children by parents cannot omit proper use of human sexuality (this includes ordering our desire to be desired).
Just to let you know that women are sinless in their call to look beautiful. Such call comes from God. Thus if a woman dress-up to make herself beautiful, unless she commit sin with her body, she is sinless in making herself look beautiful. God meant women to look beautiful, to receive praises and flatters and to be adored and loved.

It is very unfair for men nowadays to have prejudice over women’s intent to look beautiful. And only based on that women has to endure a lot of prejudices throughout their life time since very young age (such as what you wrote above}.

Nowadays many women think that they have to be this and that just so the world will respect them, eventhough those things doesn’t really make them happy, they are willing to go through so many things. Some of them are humilating and degrading instead of gaining respect. What a paradox situation for all of us and our children.

If only I had a daughter, I would not teach her to believe that her value is in her clothing. I would not let her feel guilty for the stare of others. I would not let others to have “valid reason” to accuse my daughter for her beauty.
 
Just to let you know that women are sinless in their call to look beautiful. Such call comes from God. Thus if a woman dress-up to make herself beautiful, unless she commit sin with her body, she is sinless in making herself look beautiful. God meant women to look beautiful, to receive praises and flatters and to be adored and loved.

It is very unfair for men nowadays to have prejudice over women’s intent to look beautiful. And only based on that women has to endure a lot of prejudices throughout their life time since very young age (such as what you wrote above}.

Nowadays many women think that they have to be this and that just so the world will respect them, eventhough those things doesn’t really make them happy, they are willing to go through so many things. Some of them are humilating and degrading instead of gaining respect. What a paradox situation for all of us and our children.

If only I had a daughter, I would not teach her to believe that her value is in her clothing. I would not let her feel guilty for the stare of others. I would not let others to have “valid reason” to accuse my daughter for her beauty.
This was nice. Thank you.
 
Lil Flower, let’s at least try to remain consistent.
Okay, I’m through with the nitpicking.

May I go back to my original point?

John 15:18
“If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world,
the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you."


Let me ask my fellow posters this: do you reject society’s view about “flaunting it if you got it” (if you have a beautiful body, why not let all see it)?
 
Francisca, I believe you do not understand the author of the article’s point.

Hot is hot. Lusty, consumable ‘hotness.’

Pretty is pretty. Admirable, natural beauty, loveliness of the soul. True beauty. True value. True love.
**
“The less beauty the soul has, the more it needs to decorate the body. Excessive luxury of dress and vain display of external beauty
are signs of the nakedness of the soul. The beauty of the King’s daughter is from within.”**
  • Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
❤️
 
Okay, I’m through with the nitpicking.

May I go back to my original point?

John 15:18
“If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world,
the world would love its own
; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you."

Let me ask my fellow posters this: do you reject society’s view about “flaunting it if you got it” (if you have a beautiful body, why not let all see it)?
It depends on what you mean by “flaunt it.”

If you mean to take good care of it and present it to the world beautifully, accentuating your best features, then no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, as long as it is kept appropriate and respectful.

If you mean to pose for play boy, or to dress inappropriately, or to use your body as bate to get what you want, then yes, I do reject that.
 
I certainly hope that you don’t believe that teenage daughters should be allowed to wear whatever they want and supported in that decision without being offered parental guidance, including parental prohibition where needed. Especially if they say they like it because it’s sexy. And no, putting all the blame on men and telling the girl than in ideal world she could wear whatever she wanted wouldn’t be proper parental action. Proper education of children by parents cannot omit proper use of human sexuality (this includes ordering our desire to be desired).
Externals cannot be the only (name removed by moderator)ut in making presumptions in all situations and certainly never in ascertaining the intent of a woman wearing a certain dress ( the obvious examples of nuns, prostitutes etc, being the exceptions). High class prostitutes, I gather, dress rather respectably in anyone’s view.
 
If you mean to take good care of it and present it to the world beautifully, accentuating your best features, then no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, as long as it is kept appropriate and respectful.
As in wearing a sweater that brings out your blue eyes?

I do not find mini skirts, hot pants, or bikinis appropriate or respectful. What do you think?
If you mean to pose for play boy, or to dress inappropriately, or to use your body as bate to get what you want, then yes, I do reject that.
Thank you.
 
Children learn by example. The son will learn to be a virtuous man by seeing his father as a virtuous man. The way his father behaves around a woman, no matter how she is dressed, is how the son will perceive it is supposed to be done. That’s why men should be treating all women, no matter what they wear or how, with dignity.

The problem with blaming it on concupiscence is that we are saying, we are tempted, so it’s not our fault. Just because we are tempted to look lustfully at a woman because of her clothes, does not make it her fault. Men have different temperaments. What I may find to be tempting, you may not see as tempting at all. I might find a woman in shorts to her knees as unbearable to see, while you might be fine with daisy dukes and a halter top.
Good post.👍
 
Just to let you know that women are sinless in their call to look beautiful. Such call comes from God. Thus if a woman dress-up to make herself beautiful, unless she commit sin with her body, she is sinless in making herself look beautiful. God meant women to look beautiful, to receive praises and flatters and to be adored and loved.

It is very unfair for men nowadays to have prejudice over women’s intent to look beautiful. And only based on that women has to endure a lot of prejudices throughout their life time since very young age (such as what you wrote above}.

Nowadays many women think that they have to be this and that just so the world will respect them, eventhough those things doesn’t really make them happy, they are willing to go through so many things. Some of them are humilating and degrading instead of gaining respect. What a paradox situation for all of us and our children.

If only I had a daughter, I would not teach her to believe that her value is in her clothing. I would not let her feel guilty for the stare of others. I would not let others to have “valid reason” to accuse my daughter for her beauty.
Very well said. 👍👍
 
Francisca, I believe you do not understand the author of the article’s point.

Hot is hot. Lusty, consumable ‘hotness.’

Pretty is pretty. Admirable, natural beauty, loveliness of the soul. True beauty. True value. True love.
**
“The less beauty the soul has, the more it needs to decorate the body. Excessive luxury of dress and vain display of external beauty
are signs of the nakedness of the soul. The beauty of the King’s daughter is from within.”**
  • Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
❤️
Watching this thread is like watching lava roll down the side of a volcano into an ocean.
 
I do not find mini skirts, hot pants, or bikinis appropriate or respectful. What do you think?
Thank you.
It depends. Mini skirts would not be inappropriate for Church or to a nice dinner, but I wouldn’t consider them immodest if worn to a park on a hot day, for example.

Hot pants - well, I’m not quite sure what they are exactly…

As for bikinis, that depends as well. Wearing them to the beach or the pool is one thing, and perfectly appropriate… as for wearing them to the grocery store… now that is something entirely different, and very immodest, yes.
 
As in wearing a sweater that brings out your blue eyes?
That could be an example. Pretty much anything that is flattering to your figure or to any characteristics of your face. Within the realm of respectable and appropriate, of course.
 
Francisca, I believe you do not understand the author of the article’s point.

Hot is hot. Lusty, consumable ‘hotness.’

Pretty is pretty. Admirable, natural beauty, loveliness of the soul. True beauty. True value. True love.
**
“The less beauty the soul has, the more it needs to decorate the body. Excessive luxury of dress and vain display of external beauty
are signs of the nakedness of the soul. The beauty of the King’s daughter is from within.”**
  • Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
❤️
I have to disagree, that is not what I got from the article. I have posted on that and even referred to his words appearing to make the Madonna/whore dichotomy. Beauty includes the inside, the soul. Pretty is about externals, superficial and pretty in the article is for having a certain look, demure etc which he equates with innocence and which it appears is what some men want according to him.
 
Francisca, I believe you do not understand the author of the article’s point.

Hot is hot. Lusty, consumable ‘hotness.’

Pretty is pretty. Admirable, natural beauty, loveliness of the soul. True beauty. True value. True love.
**
“The less beauty the soul has, the more it needs to decorate the body. Excessive luxury of dress and vain display of external beauty
are signs of the nakedness of the soul. The beauty of the King’s daughter is from within.”**
  • Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
❤️
I do understand the article point.

The author try to relate pretty with women’s innocent beauty, and thus condemn “hot” as related to “dirty beauty”.

My points are
  1. Women are created to be beautiful. There is nothing wrong with a woman who try to look beautiful.
  2. To relate the way women dress with her innocence is being unfair to women, because both men and women aren’t completely innocent. Thus if one expects innocence from women, they must expect innocence from men too. If one forgive sinful men, he must forgive sinful women too. In otherwords, if men are innocent, why would they bother complaining about women’s dress? They complain because they aren’t innocent, and therefore they have no right to expect innocence from women, for they aren’t innocent either.
  3. To say “if you want to be treated like a lady, dress like one” is to give “valid reasons” for men to devalue women based on dress alone.
 
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