The Duggars Respond to Reports That Josh Duggar Was Accused of Child Molestation

[QuestLove]

Wait. Am I understanding this article correctly, that he was 14 years old when he did this?

If so, I don’t see how it can be considered pedophilia, as he wasn’t an adult - not nearly.
He wasn’t of the age of consent himself. I’m not making excuses for him, but it isn’t like he was 25 years old.
There seems to be no evidence that he is, today, a pedophile.

Jon

I am not sure that the article or other posters called him a pedophile. Also the article was also clear to say alleged molestation because even though he seemingly admitted to it, he was never convicted.
To be fair though at least to the parents, it was they who turned him in to the police.
But as most posters say, at 14 you should know by then that it was not ok to fondle your sisters. I would have been very concerned if he was my son, about him displaying those intentions especially since it was multiple infractions.
And as you say that there is no evidence that he is a pedophile…and I am hoping that it is true.

 

[Darryl_Revok]

You mean they knew it was about the Duggar family because of their address? Hoe would you even know who they were talking about?

The narrative of the report is not redacted. The names of the adults are not redacted. Thus, when the narrative talks about Jim Bob and his son and what his son did and how he reacted, it’s not difficult to connect the dots.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Kendra I must say I admire how freely you speak about this, I’m sorry to hear such a thing happened to you but it’s brave that you speak up about it.

As a side note to the OP’s issue I can’t honestly say I’m too surprised, that family has some very deep issues and a very unhealthy attitude towards relationships and sexuality. I’m not actually that shocked one of them turned out to be a sexual predator; if anything I’m supervised the others have turned out so well.

I don’t know if it is fair to call him at 14 a sexual predator without knowing the specifics of the case. There are no other reports of wrongdoing after that or once he reaches adulthood so I think we need to be careful of the labels we throw around.
I don’t know if anything else will come out.

 

[Sophie_Lawrence]

Wait. Am I understanding this article correctly, that he was 14 years old when he did this?

If so, I don’t see how it can be considered pedophilia, as he wasn’t an adult - not nearly.
He wasn’t of the age of consent himself. I’m not making excuses for him, but it isn’t like he was 25 years old.
There seems to be no evidence that he is, today, a pedophile.

Jon

It would be considered molestation, not necessarily pedophilia if he was a child and the other children were around the same age by a few years.

I’ve disclosed in the past that I’ve had incidents of molestation and abuse.

One person was a significantly older man who was a stranger. He could be classified as a pedophile (or not, I have no clue if he knew my age, I did look older than my age)

Another was a 15 year old boy when I was 15 as well. I would not classify him as a pedophile.

 

[Cake_or_Death]

I don’t know if it is fair to call him at 14 a sexual predator without knowing the specifics of the case. There are no other reports of wrongdoing after that or once he reaches adulthood so I think we need to be careful of the labels we throw around.
I don’t know if anything else will come out.

Perhaps sexual predator was too strong a description, I apologize. It’s not normal fourteen year old behavior though is it? I think hormones or not most fourteen year old boys know its not cool to grope your sisters, or any woman (or man) for that matter. I do hope it was only a one off case.

 

[Darryl_Revok]

It just occurred to me that Mike Huckabee’s son David tortured and killed a dog for kicks.

Perhaps this could be the basis for an Odd Couple-like, Big & Rich/Snooki & JWoww-style reality show about the terrible children of sanctimonious Arkansas politicians.

 

[SWolf]

I haven’t even ventured onto secular sites covering this story, as I suspect many will have a similar response as many did to the priest molestation scandals; not just calling the Duggars out for being hypocrites, but actually blaming “sexual repression” for Josh’s actions. Essentially, that the Duggars being overly strict about teenage dating and sex is what led to Josh resorting to molesting his own sisters, similar to the idea that letting priests marry would prevent further instances of sexual abuse by clergy.

Also, unfortunately, abusive incest occurs not just in patriarchal families (though I have read the incidence might be higher in such families). I suspect many egalitarian, secular parents would (and have) shrugged away such situations as kids just “playing doctor” and would fear that informing law enforcement would do more harm than good, result perhaps in children being sent to foster care, families being “torn apart”, etc.

I’m not saying that excuses how they handled this, especially since one of the victims was NOT a family member. But I think it’s a little too easy to blame the Duggars’ beliefs for what happened.

On the other hand, I find it hard to believe that an “overly sexualized society” is to blame for what Josh did. Of course no one knows what was really going on, but the Duggars do seem to have tried to shelter their family from the outside world. If anything, this shows that it’s not enough to simply shelter your children from supposedly harmful outside influences to keep them from falling into sin.

People will read into it what they want to.

Fourteen year old boys, like fourteen year old girls, are very confused about their budding sexuality. You can be as sexually open a family as you want, or as cloistered, and you would probably find the number of incidents the same.

Just from a statistics standpoint, with 19 kids, I’d be shocked if there WASN’T one that was a little messed up. It’s always a wild card with young adults coming to terms with their biology.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Why do people think it was his sisters. I know that they were involved but not necessarily for the abuse. There was a letter found in a book that was lent out to someone else. The involvement of the sisters could have been that they are the ones who wrote the letter that was intended to be private. Something along the lines of “My 14 year old brother tried to feel up my friend at a homeschool retreat…”

BUT if it was his sisters then DANG, I want to throw up. And I am not sure if I am disgusted or impressed by the moxie involved on having this happen and then doing that show for 10 years most of which showcased josh… That takes some cahones…

Bottom line, I think we should treat this like the reports about Pope Francis said such and such. Wait and see if it is clarified.
If this was Kim kardashian or Kanye, “E” would be renewing the series for more money…

It is sad that when some people stand up for values, it ends up harming the cause more than helping it. That was one of the only shows on TLC my kids could watch and was somewhat wholesome.

Also, 14 year old boys do a lot of weird things. But if those things were done to family… I have no idea what I would do in that situation except know NEVER to go on TV for ten years preaching about sexual morality…

 

[7_Sorrows]

Perhaps sexual predator was too strong a description, I apologize. It’s not normal fourteen year old behavior though is it? I think hormones or not most fourteen year old boys know its not cool to grope your sisters, or any woman (or man) for that matter. I do hope it was only a one off case.

I don’t know. I never grew up with any brothers.

 

[QuestLove]

Speaking as a victim of child molestation, yes it can go away. Mine happened 20 years ago. I was a pre teen. My brothers were teenagers (two committed separate acts - one over a number of years).

They repented. They regret what they did. They’d change the past if they could.

I forgave them and I moved on. I’m not going to hold a mistake they made as young teenagers against them for the rest of their lives. It took therapy (I did end up with some serious mental health issues - probably this and severe neglect from parents was to blame) and healing which can only come from God. Forgiving my brothers is one of the best things I’ve ever done - for me. The hate I carried around for so many years just ate at me. Been at peace with what happened and with them is a much more pleasant way to live.

I think it is a true crime against victims to tell them they can’t move on. It tells them they have to be victims for the rest of their lives. Every time I hear a new case about sexual abuse that happened 50/40/3/20 years ago “ruining my life” I want to shake the woman. The man didn’t ruin her life. She ruined her life because she let the abuse be such a defining characteristic of it. It also goes against Christianity. We are told to forgive. We’re not told to forgive ‘if it’s easy’. There is no qualifier. We are to forgive, full stop. I believe that is as much for our own benefit as it is the benefit of those who sinned against us. Carrying the sins others have committed against us around our entire lives, never letting go, the anger and the hate… it ruins ones life. I know. I’ve been there.

I also think it incredibly unfair to label a man as a sex offender for his entire life because of a mistake he made as a child. 13 is a child. Children make mistakes. They don’t understand right and wrong the same way an adult does. I imagine this is especially true around sexual behaviour if what is and isn’t appropriate isn’t discussed with them - in those scenarios they’re left to try and determine it themselves. Made more difficult given the highly sexualized society we have. I believe that is what happened in my brothers cases. Once they realised why what they did was wrong, they both regretted it intensely.

I am sorry you haven’t been able to move on. You are wrong to assume that just because you haven’t yet means that no body can however. Plenty of women do. We just don’t talk about it non stop because there is no need. It’s over. I hope and pray that one day you can move on. The peace that comes with it is priceless.

edit for clarity: By ‘moving on’ I mean making peace with what happened. Forgiving the guilty and the abuse no longer itself no longer been an issue any more. I don’t think about the abuse, about the guilty in terms of the abuse or what I go through in terms of the abuse. There may be things that have to be dealt with as a result of the abuse, but the concern is those issues specifically - the abuse itself is a non-issue.

This is so unfair to victims. Of course people move on, but how can you tell them that they have ruined their own lives. They are victims. This is a traumatic experience and people process it different ways. Sometimes you forgive the perpetrators but the thoughts are still there. It is especially hard if you are made to feel guilty because you are not getting over it fast enough or you are not forgiving the perpetrator immediately.

No wonder the world doesn’t take us seriously as christians when we treat victims like this. I’m curious, as christians if we think the victims don’t want to stop thinking about the abuse? Even if this not what we are saying it may come across like that to victims.

 

[Sophie_Lawrence]

Perhaps sexual predator was too strong a description, I apologize. It’s not normal fourteen year old behavior though is it? I think hormones or not most fourteen year old boys know its not cool to grope your sisters, or any woman (or man) for that matter. I do hope it was only a one off case.

It’s not normal behavior, no. But not necessarily uncommon, sadly.

I do not know what type of birds and the bees talk they had, or how human sexuality was dealt with, or if any discussion of sexuality at his age happened at all.

 

[QuestLove]

First of all, my abuser was a grown *** man. He was my best friend/next door neighbor’s step-dad. He knew what the hell he was doing. He not only molested me, he molested her too. Oh, and since there was no physical evidence, since we were both frightened children (I didn’t even know what “being molested” meant when this happened to me) and didn’t tell until YEARS later they were going to put 12/13 year old girls on the stand in front of that SOB.
13 year olds DO know right from wrong. Kids start going to confession around 7. A 13 year old knows that you don’t touch people in private places. Stop making excuses for your brother. Making excuses for abuse is similar to Stockholm Syndrome, where hostages are empathic to their captors.
I am not going against Christianity when I am touched a certain way my mind goes back to what happened, or even being touched to be woken up puts me in a panic. Because that is what happened, I was woken up as an 8 year old little girl being touched by a man that was like a father to me.
I don’t wish him ill. I don’t want him to burn in hell. I’m not going against Christianity just because it pops in my mind occasionally and it makes me uncomfortable.
It isn’t like I go around talking about it, however, it doesn’t just go away. And no victim should live with their abuser, ever. Like these girls had to do. Their parents knew and just swept it under the rug. Disgusting.
Abuse IS the issue. I wouldn’t have this problem if I wasn’t abused. I have talked to mental health professionals and I go to the psychologist regularly, I have been assured that my feelings are normal and no, we don’t talk about it every time I go, just so you know. It was an abhorrent thing to happen to someone. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ruin my damn life.

And you to have the audacity to say that I am wrong and going against Christianity makes me want to come through this computer and show you what “going against Christianity” is. :stretcher:
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the scars go away or your mind forgets it.

 

[SWolf]

It’s not normal behavior, no. But not necessarily uncommon, sadly.

I do not know what type of birds and the bees talk they had, or how human sexuality was dealt with, or if any discussion of sexuality at his age happened at all.

I am curious to know whether he had a good old-fashioned Father/Son talk. I know many parents who preferred the school handled it, or refused to talk about it at all, because it made them uncomfortable. Given they’re homeschooled, it would have to be the parents.

A man they trust telling them: This is what’s happening to you, this is what you’re going to go through, and this is how you are expected to deal with it, goes a long ways.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Perhaps sexual predator was too strong a description, I apologize. It’s not normal fourteen year old behavior though is it? I think hormones or not most fourteen year old boys know its not cool to grope your sisters, or any woman (or man) for that matter. I do hope it was only a one off case.

Definitely not normal behavior. I had a brother who was only 17 months younger than me. So, by the time we were teens, he was my “big” little brother. He was the typical boy. Mom found Playboy magazines and sometimes he spent wayyy too long in the shower. He didn’t go around touching females inappropriately. Most teens don’t.

 

[7_Sorrows]

The narrative of the report is not redacted. The names of the adults are not redacted. Thus, when the narrative talks about Jim Bob and his son and what his son did and how he reacted, it’s not difficult to connect the dots.

Ok. Thanks. I hadn’t heard any of this on the radio or tv. I just saw a little bit on the internet.

 

[Colorad007]

Apparently no place for forgiveness either.

He’s now 27. The question is whether he’s repented, sought forgiveness, and made restitution. It sounds like all of this was done. His family has moved on. Why can’t others?

Exactly right. I have no clue why he felt compelled to resign from the FRC. He made a mistake, set out on a new course, and is now doing his.best to help make the world a better place. Far from.being vilified, he ought to have people’s admiration.

But in a culture that throws parades celebrating perversion and murders babies under the guise of women’s rights, I am not holding my breath.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Exactly right. I have no clue why he felt compelled to resign from the FRC. He made a mistake, set out on a new course, and is now doing his.best to help make the world a better place. Far from.being vilified, he ought to have people’s admiration.

But in a culture that throws parades celebrating perversion and murders babies under the guise of women’s rights, I am not holding my breath.

It isn’t celebrating perversion to be #TeamJosh? We are supposed to admire someone who molested multiple people…that isn’t celebrating perversion?

Pretty sure thinking that what he did was disgusting and feeling sorry for the victims would be going against the culture who celebrates perversion. Since, you know, he’s a pervert.

So much for women’s rights when a molester gets to walk free.

 

[Colorad007]

I don’t know if it is fair to call him at 14 a sexual predator without knowing the specifics of the case. There are no other reports of wrongdoing after that or once he reaches adulthood so I think we need to be careful of the labels we throw around.
I don’t know if anything else will come out.

Of course it’s not fair to call him a sexual predator. A society that would slap such a label on a 14 year-old.boy is morally sick. Obviously sexual abuse of a child, even by another child, is harmful and wrong. But the idea that the way to heal those wounds is to slap merciless labels on children is despicable

 

[7_Sorrows]

Exactly right. I have no clue why he felt compelled to resign from the FRC. He made a mistake, set out on a new course, and is now doing his.best to help make the world a better place. Far from.being vilified, he ought to have people’s admiration.

But in a culture that throws parades celebrating perversion and murders babies under the guise of women’s rights, I am not holding my breath.

I was wondering why he resigned so quickly too. I am sure the family is not happy this has come out. I am sure this is not the first family this has ever happened to. Maybe they will be able to speak out about how their family worked through this and bring attention to this topic.

 

[Colorad007]

It isn’t celebrating perversion to be #TeamJosh? We are supposed to admire someone who molested multiple people…that isn’t celebrating perversion?

Pretty sure thinking that what he did was disgusting and feeling sorry for the victims would be going against the culture who celebrates perversion. Since, you know, he’s a pervert.

So much for women’s rights when a molester gets to walk free.

Thank God your confessor doesn’t talk like that to you, Kendra.