The Duggars Respond to Reports That Josh Duggar Was Accused of Child Molestation

[SWolf]

I’ve always thought that the most interesting thing about the show (which I also don’t watch) is that so many women (and the audience is almost all female) are devoted followers of it, when all it really does is to depict really bland domestic life.

That’s really worth noting. I know, for example, professional women who are devoted followers of the show, including professional women who live unconventional lives. The fact that the show has such diehard female following, in this day and age in which feminist have altered society to “free” it from such pursuits, would suggest that, in our heart of hearts, the old concerns and desires, that we supposedly don’t have any more, remain fully there.

It is funny how a show feminists decry as outdated and abusive is watched almost exclusively by women. That’s why they want it destroyed.

I would also venture to guess that more women than men see this as an ideal family.

 

[Colorad007]

Glad to hear, but I’m still in favor of a comprehensive psych eval.

Hopefully he got the treatment he needed. There is a lot of excellent science happening around child sex abuse and we are.growing by leaps and.bounds in terms of how to address it.

 

[Darryl_Revok]

Society may like to make a big deal about this type of situation, but I wonder what God would say about such a society that glorifies abortion and so-called gay “marriage” and all the excuses people use to support them—as in which are the graver sins?

If a religion considers consensual same-sex marriage among adults a “graver sin” than the forcible sexual molestation of children, then perhaps it’s not society’s problem.

 

[Colorad007]

If this is in reference to my comments, note that I never said such a thing. I don’t control your feelings, the feelings fo the Duggar girls, or other victims of molestation. So, no, I don’t think “a certain amount of years passing makes it all better.” And in my experience, though not molestation but other traumatic family events when I was a child, time has not made it better.

See below, CatholicSheila speaks to this directly.

This. Every persons process in healing and coping is different. Just because you (KendraZ) haven’t “moved on,” doesn’t mean that the Duggar girls have not. I understand you don’t believe that they have, since it appears you think the Duggar parents are controlling. But you can’t speak for them. You can only speak for yourself. And all we have to go on is their reported position.

So, the Duggar family has made peace. He appears repetant. Why should a sin someone has repented of, made restitution firm, made a firm committment to never do again, and the victims have “moved on,” forever be used against him? Does grace and forgiveness have no value?

Also, did anyone consider that perhaps Josh Duggar is committed to FRC’s values precisely because of this situation? Perhaps his shame has motivated him to be more committed to happy, healthy families? That is desire to be involved in certain ministries is a way to right his wrongs?

Beautiful.

 

[SuperLuigi]

=DakiniArtist;12990921]Lots of experience with child molestation, unfortunately. Much of it as a professional, working with victims and offenders.

I have to wonder if Josh himself was not a victim. None of us have all the details and anything would be speculation. I hope that the families involved have taken positive actions, i.e. not shaming the victims, allowing everyone to seek help, etc.

It would not surprise me if he were in the abuse sense, but he already is with what people are saying about him.

Unfortunately, this is another wound to people of faith. So many people were just gleeful in emailing and Facebooking this story to me. “See??? See what hypocrites you people are?” I can’t even be on social media today, as my “friends” are enjoying slamming this “judgmental” family. It’s tough to process. It is only adding to my gloominess and my growing spiritual loneliness among my friends, family, and acquaintances.

I’m not surprised. That’s just because their political causes (like so-called gay "marriage, I’m sure) are more important to them but cannot stand on merit, so they have to rely on the other side screwing up 20 years ago to feel better about it.

Personally, I think a situation like this needs to taken head-on.

 

[Colorad007]

If a religion considers consensual same-sex marriage among adults a “graver sin” than the forcible sexual molestation of children, then perhaps it’s not society’s problem.

Actually, I suspect that gay marriage will greatly worsen the problem of sexual abuse.

 

[DakiniArtist]

Also, did anyone consider that perhaps Josh Duggar is committed to FRC’s values precisely because of this situation? Perhaps his shame has motivated him to be more committed to happy, healthy families? That is desire to be involved in certain ministries is a way to right his wrongs?

Agreed. I’m committed to my own “pet projects” because of many of the mistakes I’ve made in my life.

 

[CatholicSheila]

13 year olds DO know right from wrong. Kids start going to confession around 7. A 13 year old knows that you don’t touch people in private places. Stop making excuses for your brother. Making excuses for abuse is similar to Stockholm Syndrome, where hostages are empathic to their captors.

I know it’s quite possible they didn’t know right vs wrong because I didn’t have parents at home raising me either. I didn’t know what they were doing was wrong. I didn’t find that out for years. There were plenty of things that I thought were right, that I know now were wrong. Which I should have known were wrong and which most kids would know were wrong. I didn’t. Nor did my brothers. It’s not excuses. It’s facts.

My brothers know they did wrong. I know they did wrong. What I’m not going to do is hold it over them for the rest of their lives. My brothers were young. Boys just going through puberty and they wanted sex. That’s all it was. Sex. And I was there. Wrong place, wrong time.

The people to blame for what happened to me are my parents, not my brothers. They were too busy with their careers to bother raising their 4 kids. If I’m making excuses for anyone it is them, not my brothers. Even then, not really. They stuffed up, big time and I paid the price for it. So did my brothers. I know that too. I moved on from that as well. I suppose I have something akin to Stockholm Syndrome from that because I don’t react negatively to my mother every time I see her as well?

I am not going against Christianity when I am touched a certain way my mind goes back to what happened, or even being touched to be woken up puts me in a panic. Because that is what happened, I was woken up as an 8 year old little girl being touched by a man that was like a father to me.
I don’t wish him ill. I don’t want him to burn in hell. I’m not going against Christianity just because it pops in my mind occasionally and it makes me uncomfortable.
It isn’t like I go around talking about it, however, it doesn’t just go away. And no victim should live with their abuser, ever. Like these girls had to do. Their parents knew and just swept it under the rug. Disgusting.
Abuse IS the issue. I wouldn’t have this problem if I wasn’t abused. I have talked to mental health professionals and I go to the psychologist regularly, I have been assured that my feelings are normal and no, we don’t talk about it every time I go, just so you know. It was an abhorrent thing to happen to someone. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ruin my damn life.

And you to have the audacity to say that I am wrong and going against Christianity makes me want to come through this computer and show you what “going against Christianity” is. :stretcher:

It’s telling people that they can’t move on that I consider to be unchristian. It isn’t some universal truth that people make it out to be. That’s why I will be so frank and say that yes, we can move on. That message needs to be put out there. Not for the sake of the men who are guilty, but for the sake of the women who have gone through it. We don’t have to stay angry, or hurt, or any of the myriad of emotions that result. It is possible to acknowledge that the abuse happened, that it had consequences and still move on.

I bought up forgiveness because the inability to move on is often linked to the statement that we can’t expect forgiveness of such acts. I reject that too, and that is absolutely unchristian!

The fact that you haven’t moved on isn’t unchristian. I don’t think ‘moving on’ is a simple thing. It’s anything but. I’ve been there. I know that. The inability to do something yet doesn’t make one unchristian.

The comment about blaming the abuse for ‘ruining my life’ wasn’t about you. You didn’t say it ruined your life. I don’t know if you think it did or not. It’s a comment I’ve heard numerous times and it was relevant.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the scars go away or your mind forgets it.

Did I say forget? Nope. Clearly one doesn’t forget. I remember what happened to me. I wouldn’t be able to say it is possible to move on if I didn’t. Nor does it mean there aren’t effects from it. There are and we have to learn to manage them as best we can. Scars may not go away, but they can fade.

I think the message that “we never get over it” is a very very dangerous message to tell women. If something is impossible, why even bother trying? It’s worth trying, and it is possible to succeed.

 

[DakiniArtist]

Personally, I think a situation like this needs to taken head-on.

Absolutely. I cannot agree more, my friend.

 

[Suudy]

Not necessarily. But it’s apparent that up until now, he has represented a certain strain of moralism, and has used his position and influence to lobby political figures. If he’s going to advocate for morality, then it’s absolutely essential that he has moral authority. Otherwise, it renders him a joke, and has the potential to taint his associates with his hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy is a current state of affairs. It is not hypocrisy to have done something in the past, and then advocate against it. It is hypocrisy to advocate against something while currently doing it. Changes of hearts do happen, and they should be recognized as such.

For example, apparently Ronald Reagan is a hypocrite becuase he signed the law making abortion legal in CA, but then fought strenously against it while POTUS. But Barack Obama has “evolved” when he changed his view on gay “marriage.” Neither are cases of hypocrisy. Now, one can argue about the sincerity of their opinions, but that isn’t the same thing as hypocrisy.

And in the case of Josh Duggar, it is possible (likely?) that he has repented and his positions regarding abuse, the family, etc are sincerely held. And that he came to his current positions based upon the very experience that shames him the most.

 

[Darryl_Revok]

Also, did anyone consider that perhaps Josh Duggar is committed to FRC’s values precisely because of this situation? Perhaps his shame has motivated him to be more committed to happy, healthy families? That is desire to be involved in certain ministries is a way to right his wrongs?

Indeed; however, his determination to do so in an extremely public way was bound to cause cynicism. Would he have toiled away for his causes in a low-profile, then few people would care. Instead, he’s made himself the face of the movement, and has benefited handsomely, while this issue has remained hidden like a landmine.

 

[SuperLuigi]

So, the Duggar family has made peace. He appears repetant. Why should a sin someone has repented of, made restitution firm, made a firm committment to never do again, and the victims have “moved on,” forever be used against him? Does grace and forgiveness have no value?

Also, did anyone consider that perhaps Josh Duggar is committed to FRC’s values precisely because of this situation? Perhaps his shame has motivated him to be more committed to happy, healthy families? That is desire to be involved in certain ministries is a way to right his wrongs?

Unfortunately, some folks like to hold onto a grudge and hold something over someone else so they can constantly feel like they are owed something.

And as a couple of other posts implied, this is being used as cannon fodder to try and discredit FRC in order to promote so-called gay “marriage”. This isn’t about justice or getting victims of sexual abuse help; this is about an agenda-- and a very anti-Catholic one at that.

What do folks think the headline would have been if JD was a chief consultant for the Clinton 2016 campaign? Or a senior member in the Obama Administration?

What if he were gay?

Really, the jig is up.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Absolutely. I cannot agree more, my friend.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Here’s the actual report. Halfway down the page.

Thank you Darryl. Too often on the internet people are asked for sources and they either provide them an no one acknowledges it or they don’t. You posted exaclty what I wanted to see. I have nothing to add because if true, this is disgusting. And as a parent in a largeish family, I could not imagine what my response would be to this. But I do know that it would not be to sweep it under the rug, and exploit my family further on TV. This has too be absolutely damaging for the sisters involved as well. Right now I cannot imagine their betrayal and pain.

I am an avid fan of the show. My wife and kids love it and we have had parties for the weddings and such. We have seen every episode. No more. And my kids will wonder why we don’t watch anymore. I guess we just tell them that it had some bad things in it and move on… Honestly I don’t get too involved with reality TV stars but this one has really shaken me…

 

[Darryl_Revok]

Hypocrisy is a current state of affairs. It is not hypocrisy to have done something in the past, and then advocate against it. It is hypocrisy to advocate against something while currently doing it. Changes of hearts do happen, and they should be recognized as such.

The examples of Reagan and Obama are public acts done by public figures and entered into the public record. The problem is that Josh Duggar’s offense has heretofore been hidden. For a public figure–and Josh Duggar *is *a public figure–this is a fatal mistake; he hasn’t needed to acknowledge his change of heart because no one knows he’s committed a wrong. A mea culpa issued after a third-party digs up hidden dirt is, by definition, seen with greater skepticism than mere political waffling.

 

[CatholicSheila]

13 year olds DO know right from wrong. Kids start going to confession around 7. A 13 year old knows that you don’t touch people in private places. Stop making excuses for your brother. Making excuses for abuse is similar to Stockholm Syndrome, where hostages are empathic to their captors.

My brothers know they did wrong. I know they did wrong. What I’m not going to do is hold it over them for the rest of their lives. My brothers were young. Boys just going through puberty and they wanted sex. That’s all it was. Sex. And I was there. Wrong place, wrong time. (Before someone suggests I’m claiming all abuse is ‘just sex’, I’m saying that is how I see my situation from the perspective of my brothers. It wasn’t ‘just sex’ for me.)

The people to blame for what happened to me are my parents, not my brothers. They were too busy with their careers to bother raising their 4 kids. If I’m making excuses for anyone it is them, not my brothers. Even then, not really. They stuffed up, big time and I paid the price for it. So did my brothers. I know that too. I moved on from that as well. I suppose I have something akin to Stockholm Syndrome from that because I don’t react negatively to my mother every time I see her as well?

I know it’s quite possible they didn’t know right vs wrong because I didn’t have parents at home raising me either. I didn’t know what they were doing was wrong. I didn’t find that out for years. There were plenty of things that I thought were right, that I know now were wrong. Which I should have known were wrong and which most kids would know were wrong. I didn’t. Nor did my brothers. It’s not excuses. It’s facts.

I am not going against Christianity when I am touched a certain way my mind goes back to what happened, or even being touched to be woken up puts me in a panic. Because that is what happened, I was woken up as an 8 year old little girl being touched by a man that was like a father to me.
I don’t wish him ill. I don’t want him to burn in hell. I’m not going against Christianity just because it pops in my mind occasionally and it makes me uncomfortable.
It isn’t like I go around talking about it, however, it doesn’t just go away. And no victim should live with their abuser, ever. Like these girls had to do. Their parents knew and just swept it under the rug. Disgusting.
Abuse IS the issue. I wouldn’t have this problem if I wasn’t abused. I have talked to mental health professionals and I go to the psychologist regularly, I have been assured that my feelings are normal and no, we don’t talk about it every time I go, just so you know. It was an abhorrent thing to happen to someone. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t ruin my damn life.

And you to have the audacity to say that I am wrong and going against Christianity makes me want to come through this computer and show you what “going against Christianity” is. :stretcher:

It’s telling people that they can’t move on that I consider to be unchristian. It isn’t some universal truth that people make it out to be. That’s why I will be so frank and say that yes, we can move on. That message needs to be put out there. Not for the sake of the men who are guilty, but for the sake of the women who have gone through it. We don’t have to stay angry, or hurt, or any of the myriad of emotions that result. It is possible to acknowledge that the abuse happened, that it had consequences and still move on.

I bought up forgiveness because the inability to move on is often linked to the statement that we can’t expect forgiveness of such acts. I reject that too, and that is absolutely unchristian!

The fact that you haven’t moved on isn’t unchristian. I don’t think ‘moving on’ is a simple thing. It’s anything but. I’ve been there. I know that. The inability to do something yet doesn’t make one unchristian. I apologise I wasn’t clear that I don’t consider you unchristian because you are yet to move on.

(The comment about blaming the abuse for ‘ruining my life’ wasn’t about you. You didn’t say it ruined your life. I don’t know if you think it did or not. It’s a comment I’ve heard numerous times and it was relevant.)

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the scars go away or your mind forgets it.

Did I say forget? Nope. Clearly one doesn’t forget. I remember what happened to me. Nor does it mean there aren’t effects from it. There are and we have to learn to manage them as best we can. Scars may not go away, but they can fade.

I think the message that “we never get over it” is a very very dangerous message to tell women. If something is impossible, why even bother trying? It’s worth trying, and it is possible to succeed.

As for wanting to stick a label of sexual deviant on someone for a mistake they made when they were 14… that disgusts me.

 

[Paulg2010]

Being a victim of child molestation, it doesn’t go away for the victim. Mine happened 18 years ago. I saw him the other day. My best friend’s grandmother passed away and he was there. Seeing him made me stop in my tracks and had to internalize my anxiety.
Sure, let them repent and be forgiven by God, they still shouldn’t be around children and their victims will always remember. I would have to stop having sex with me husband sometimes because of what I went through.

This should not be let go.

He was a 14 your old kid, yes it should be “let go”. I am also a victim of sexual abuse. The best thing for you to do is figure out how to forgive the one who hurt you; otherwise he/she will continue to spiritually molest you for the rest of your life. Let it go and you will find healing!

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Considering he was 14 when it happened, I’d say he does need allies, and he’s got one with me.

Society may like to make a big deal about this type of situation, but I wonder what God would say about such a society that glorifies abortion and so-called gay “marriage” and all the excuses people use to support them—as in which are the graver sins?

“situation???” Molesting your sisters isn’t a big deal and just a situation? This is a grave sin. He forced himself on his SISTERS. Be his ally, that’s on you.

 

[DakiniArtist]

And as a parent in a largeish family, I could not imagine what my response would be to this. But I do know that it would not be to sweep it under the rug, and exploit my family further on TV. This has too be absolutely damaging for the sisters involved as well. Right now I cannot imagine their betrayal and pain.

I am an avid fan of the show. My wife and kids love it and we have had parties for the weddings and such. We have seen every episode. No more. And my kids will wonder why we don’t watch anymore. I guess we just tell them that it had some bad things in it and move on… Honestly I don’t get too involved with reality TV stars but this one has really shaken me…

As a mom, sadly, I do know what my response would be in this situation. I thought my marriage would end over it, along with my relationship with my in-laws, as it was my stepson who did the damage. This situation has caused more pain and confusion and grief than I could have anticipated.

Our family and my sister’s have watched the series and kept up with the family. I was shaken at my core last night as well, which is why I posted a link in the “popular media” folder, to process it. So many feelings attached to this, as a previous victim, as a previous professional, as the parent in this situation, as a new Christian trying to navigate and do “damage control” with others. I’m just saddened beyond words right now.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

He was a 14 your old kid, yes it should be “let go”. I am also a victim of sexual abuse. The best thing for you to do is figure out how to forgive the one who hurt you; otherwise he/she will continue to spiritually molest you for the rest of your life. Let it go and you will find healing!

I did a lot of deviant stuff sexually from about 14 to 24. Never once did it involve my sister… Let go. Nope, sorry not on this, I have completely been persuaded.

Disgusting at 14 or 40… And even worse, these sisters have to relive this all in the public eye made possible by josh and his dad. Anyone who has watched the show knows that Josh is the “golden boy” of that family.