The Duggars Respond to Reports That Josh Duggar Was Accused of Child Molestation

[Memaw]

I am not appalled at all. He was 14 years old and immature. I’m sorry but unlike everyone that is appalled here I wasn’t a perfect kid either and none of my kids were perfect. Christians could use a little charity when it comes to any sin and not sit on our high horse judging others. Especially the actions of an immature teenage boy.

IMHO.

uch:

I agree and he was and is remorseful over it. Since when do we get the privilege of judging someones sins even after God has forgiven them??? He who is FREE of sin, cast the first stone. Remember, we will be judged the way we judge. To bring this up now and ruin a young families life over what happened so long ago, is disgusting. I think it was done deliberately because the family is soo strong in their Christian Faith. We are a very confused country when we can condone doing that and yet pass laws the allow SS ‘marriage’, abortion, porn all over the place, etc. and think nothing of it. I hope TLC will reinstate that program because it is one of the very few decent programs on the TV. God Bless, Memaw

 

[bmaj]

I agree and he was and is remorseful over it. Since when do we get the privilege of judging someones sins even after God has forgiven them??? He who is FREE of sin, cast the first stone. Remember, we will be judged the way we judge. To bring this up now and ruin a young families life over what happened so long ago, is disgusting. I think it was done deliberately because the family is soo strong in their Christian Faith. We are a very confused country when we can condone doing that and yet pass laws the allow SS ‘marriage’, abortion, porn all over the place, etc. and think nothing of it. I hope TLC will reinstate that program because it is one of the very few decent programs on the TV. God Bless, Memaw

You make some excellent points, Memaw. I don’t think there are too many families that are immune from this type of situation among young teenagers, but there sure are far too many in the media and elsewhere who would like nothing better than to “crucify” Christians, especially ones who might be helping in a big way to spread the Good News of Jesus. God’s blessings always, and God bless our country, too. We definitely need it.

 

[JustaServant]

jeriwho.net/lillypad2/?p=16479#comments

 

[ToeInTheWater]

Okay, I am going back on my word, but as this topic so far is very unbalanced in terms of opinions compared to the main topic, let me chip in my take on this.

I am not appalled at all. He was 14 years old and immature. I’m sorry but unlike everyone that is appalled here I wasn’t a perfect kid either and none of my kids were perfect. Christians could use a little charity when it comes to any sin and not sit on our high horse judging others. Especially the actions of an immature teenage boy.

Did you or your children ever touch the private parts of another child while they were SLEEPING and defenseless?

I am sick and tired of this “boys will be boys” defense. So, how old do you think a boy should be, before he is held accountable for his actions?

You make some excellent points, Memaw. I don’t think there are too many families that are immune from this type of situation among young teenagers, but there sure are far too many in the media and elsewhere who would like nothing better than to “crucify” Christians.

It is very misleading to claim what happened was a “situation among young teenagers”. It gives the impression that what occurred was consensual sexual experimentation between teens of a similar age. One of the victims was only 5 years old, at the most, when the incidents occurred. I refuse to accept that a 15 year old touching a 5 year old sexually should be accepted as something that could happen in any family, which is what you seem to be implying. If that really is the case, then I’d never want to have any children.

Also, note that in the very long, 50 plus page topic on the same issue in World News, many Christian posters are heavily criticizing the Duggars for how they handled this. Are they also doing so out of some ulterior motive to “crucify” Christians?

 

[ToeInTheWater]

jeriwho.net/lillypad2/?p=16479#comments

Very interesting take on this, although I’m sure some people would dismiss this opinion as biased and coming from people who have an axe to grind against Fundamentalists, and express outrage that the author is speculating that Josh DID re-offend.

But I do agree whole-heartedly with this part:

What would sincere repentance entail?

1. Josh Duggar needs to call his sin what it is, sin. He needs to say that in public.
2. He needs to articulate the grief and pain of his victims and apologize to them, in public.
3. He must pay damages to his victims.
4. He must cooperate with a third-party investigation into his life to determine if he is telling the truth in his efforts to timebox his sin.

His parents also, must go through all four steps, or at least consent to them. They participated in his sin.

(BTW, point 4 refers to the oft-repeated claim that Josh was “only 14” when this happened, even though a parsing of the available information indicates even the admitted incidents went on until he was actually 15.)

It occurs to me that when Catholics, including 14 year old teens, go to confession, they do not say, “Father, I made a mistake”. They say, “Father, I have sinned”. I don’t know if any priests condition absolution on the penitent actually calling sin a sin, or not. But the “mistake” language certainly does give the impression that the person who made the “mistake” should be forgiven NOT because they repent of their sin, but because they didn’t know what they were doing was wrong, and don’t have culpability for sin in the first place.

ETA: I also agree with this:

The guilty parties insist that the entire episode brought them closer to God, making the gross sin and victimization of another person a good thing, because everybody ultimately benefited…anybody, truly repentant of sin, is not going to glibly assure everybody that he is closer to God and that the victims are also closer to God. Humility would prevent that. Josh Duggar committed the very sin that Christ identified as the second worst sin a person could commit (blaspheming the Holy Spirit being the first), harming a child ad endangering a child’s faith in Christ. If her were repentant and his parents with him, they would be shaking in their shoes and humbly overseeing the care of the victims.

 

[JustaServant]

Very interesting take on this, although I’m sure some people would dismiss this opinion as biased and coming from people who have an axe to grind against Fundamentalists, and express outrage that the author is speculating that Josh DID re-offend.

Actually what she wrote was exactly what has been in my mind. I have a VERY hard time believing this is his only offense, AND he is capable of offending again. This is why we have sex-offender profiles on the internet. Precisely because many are repeat offenders.
If I were the local police, I would keep a sharp eye on the Duggar family.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Actually what she wrote was exactly what has been in my mind. I have a VERY hard time believing this is his only offense, AND he is capable of offending again. This is why we have sex-offender profiles on the internet. Precisely because many are repeat offenders.
If I were the local police, I would keep a sharp eye on the Duggar family.

Technically, he is already a repeat offender. He didn’t do this only once.

 

[Paulg2010]

So you don’t protect the children who were abused? I would rather send the abuser off and keep my babies, who have been abused, at home.
But hey, not everyone thinks like that.

What you don’t want to admit is that your son is also your baby! That “monster” is YOUR child! Children are gifts from God, not something to simply be thrown away when their actions make you sick. By some of your posts I question your parenting skills.

 

[stinkcat_14]

What you don’t want to admit is that your son is also your baby! That “monster” is YOUR child! Children are gifts from God, not something to simply be thrown away when their actions make you sick. By some of your posts I question your parenting skills.

I doubt that we would know enough information based on what people post in order to determine whether or not they would be a good parent.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

What you don’t want to admit is that your son is also your baby! That “monster” is YOUR child! Children are gifts from God, not something to simply be thrown away when their actions make you sick. By some of your posts I question your parenting skills.

I think protecting victims is very important. The molester needs to go because protecting the INNOCENT is more important.
If you are ok with a sexual abuser living with your children, who they have abused, maybe you need to question your own parenting skills.

I would also snitch on family if they murdered someone or was involved in armed robbery or any other serious crime. Don’t try to hideout at my house. Nope, nope, nope.

 

[Darryl_Revok]

I doubt that we would know enough information based on what people post in order to determine whether or not they would be a good parent.

Indeed; if hundreds of hours of television were not sufficient to demonstrate that the Duggars were terrible parents, then how can a few posts on a forum be more enlightening?

 

[JustaServant]

Technically, he is already a repeat offender. He didn’t do this only once.

Like I said on NCRs, I wasn’t really following the story until Huckabee got involved. If a comment made on Jerri’s blog is correct, I now know why he put his campaign in jeopardy in sticking his nose in.
I’ve known Jerri for years, even before I was Catholic. Long before she wrote any books. I’ve even butted heads with her on another (now long gone) forum. She is a graduate of BJU and an abuse survivor herself. Does she go overboard at times? Yeah. But her research is exhaustive and shows the glaring problem of groups which become their own authority.

 

[Paulg2010]

I think protecting victims is very important. The molester needs to go because protecting the INNOCENT is more important.
If you are ok with a sexual abuser living with your children, who they have abused, maybe you need to question your own parenting skills.

I would also snitch on family if they murdered someone or was involved in armed robbery or any other serious crime. Don’t try to hideout at my house. Nope, nope, nope.

Not at all what I posted. You can twist what ever you like in my words, but the simple fact remains, both the victims and the perpetrator are your children as you stated in the post I responded to. All of these CHILDREN need you to be their MOTHER, not judge and executioner.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Not at all what I posted. You can twist what ever you like in my words, but the simple fact remains, both the victims and the perpetrator are your children as you stated in the post I responded to. All of these CHILDREN need you to be their MOTHER, not judge and executioner.

I am not ok with a sexual abuser living with my children. I don’t care who it is. I would report the abuse PROPERLY and I will visit my kid wherever they decide to put him. Be it a mental health facility or a detention center, but that person will NOT be around the children they have abused. That is cruel to put the victims through that. How can you not see that?

Mothers judge and execute all the time. At least the mom’s I know do. A kid does something that the mother judges is wrong and they execute a punishment for them. Punishment for molesting your little sisters is that you won’t be around them. Sorry 'bout it.

 

[stinkcat_14]

Not at all what I posted. You can twist what ever you like in my words, but the simple fact remains, both the victims and the perpetrator are your children as you stated in the post I responded to. All of these CHILDREN need you to be their MOTHER, not judge and executioner.

On the other hand, parents do need to judge behaviors and bad behavior does need to be punished.

 

[Paulg2010]

On the other hand, parents do need to judge behaviors and bad behavior does need to be punished.

You are correct. I said nothing contrary to this.

 

[Lou2U]

I am not appalled at all. He was 14 years old and immature. I’m sorry but unlike everyone that is appalled here I wasn’t a perfect kid either and none of my kids were perfect. Christians could use a little charity when it comes to any sin and not sit on our high horse judging others. Especially the actions of an immature teenage boy.

IMHO.

uch:

I can’t understand this mentality at all. Yes, teenagers are immature, and no-one is perfect. But molesting five young girls, including siblings? I’m sorry, but that is not the actions of an immature teenager. An immature teenager skips school, tries smoking or alcohol, considers themselves above their parents.

I agree with ToeInTheWater - when does a teenager become responsible for his actions? If a teenager skips school, tries smoking or alcohol, they are responsible for that. So why does a teenager who molests five young children get given a free pass on the basis of his maturity level?

Quite frankly, the thing that I am appalled by the most is the amount of people willing to make up excuses for Josh Duggar because of his age at the time. Immature or not, this is not a valid reason for molesting young children.

Lou

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I know everyone is appalled at the revelation of the older brother molesting his sisters but I actually applaud the Duggars for handling the situation as they did.

I think this happens way more than society is willing to admit. An older brother or cousin molests his younger sister. And most parents are not equipped to handle this and they just dig their heads in the sands about it-because they cannot admit their son of their nephews have done such a thing. It is very damaging to the victim. And a lot of victims never say anything because they know their parents won’t believe them. This has happened in my family and in several of my friends’ families. It is appalling but it happens a lot. I do not think family size or whether the family is Christian has anything to do with it.

You are proud of the duggars because they had an incident of incestual sexual abuse and decided the best way to handle it was go on TV try to be famous to pay the bills and hide it?! Are you also proud of the Church for the way it handled abuse?

Honestly I think some people form opinions on things without really thinking about what exactly happens. This happens with homosexual debates often.

Here we have a dad who, when he found out about his daughters being preyed upon by one of his sons, decided not to focus on his family and become closer and seek the help needed, but handle it “in house” using methods that we would not accept and guided by several sexual predators. (Goddard, and the police officer) Instead he put his family on TV and now that this is out these poor girls are being victimized all over again.

I have seen all the episodes of the show and have LOVED it. It is one of the only things I can have my whole family watch. But what happened changes all that. No matter how much we might think we “know them” or are
“part of their family” we are not. And this whole thing is sick. Jim Bob should be ashamed. He failed to protect his children and he failed at one of the most basic jobs of a father.

 

[Paulg2010]

I am not ok with a sexual abuser living with my children. I don’t care who it is. I would report the abuse PROPERLY and I will visit my kid wherever they decide to put him. Be it a mental health facility or a detention center, but that person will NOT be around the children they have abused. That is cruel to put the victims through that. How can you not see that?

Mothers judge and execute all the time. At least the mom’s I know do. A kid does something that the mother judges is wrong and they execute a punishment for them. Punishment for molesting your little sisters is that you won’t be around them. Sorry 'bout it.

You jump to conclusions a little easy, don’t you think? I never said I would leave my children with a threat of abuse; all I am saying is that both the victims, and the perpetrator are your children and deserving of your love equally. Can’t we agree on this simple aspect of this sad story?

I’m not your enemy, I am also a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I am not defending the right to abuse.

For me the party at most fault are these parents. This should have been handled differently, very differently! I think they are complete hypocrites for keeping this silent apparently for the sake of the TV show. My only point again, since the first time I responded on this thread is that the son was only 14 and he should have been helped as he was only a child as well. This of course only holds true if the story holds true. Some stories are leaking out that there is much more. Time will tell what the truth fully is, I guess we’ll have to wait for the information to be fully made public.

 

[estesbob]

Possibly the most uncharitable thread ,both towards the Duggars and other members, that I have run across in my years on CAF