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Socio_Momma
Guest
TLC did feature 2 Catholic families, i don’t know if you saw them. the Sentmans and the Gonyas
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fmrcatholic
Guest
The shame is that it is so much more expensive to eat healthy. (i.e.organic and fresh). My family is on a limited budget and I don’t covet jewels,cars and nice homes…I covet the organic fruit and vegetables at the store…lol.I must be a really, really bad mom because my kids probably eat more packaged, processed food than the Duggars.
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masondoggy
Guest
That has A LOT to do with it…well, and that I’m not that creative of a cook. And I’m in school. So we resort to a lot of packaged foods just for convenience.
But my kids are healthy and not anywhere near obese. They love to play outside and they only get soda and sweets as a special treat.
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momv10
Guest
As a mother with 10 beautiful kids I’m not sure I buy into the fantasy these folks show to the world. I’m not judging them as being bad, good or hyper fecudity bent. I just don’t believe in how they function. Something just looks odd in how the older ones still live at home. Something just looks odd in having the “buddy system” they show to the world. I can’t put my words around it completely It really doesn’t interest me how they do all the day-to-day because I’m very content and find the life they portray quite off putting.
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dranzal
Guest
While I disagree with maybe some of what they do, I fully support having the older teens care for the little ones. I personally think this is an invaluable part of the “education” we have the duty to provide. I know so many adults raised with 2 or fewer siblings who don’t have the first clue what to do with a baby. It’s rather sad.
I think that having many children in such a way that they learn about caring for babies was how God intended families to work.
Honestly, the main thing I disagree with the Duggar family on is length of breastfeeding. But I say that knowing that I have no real knowledge of what they do…just assuming based on the frequency of pregnancies.
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Militant_Mom
Guest
I happened to see a news flash the other day that the Duggars announced on the Today Show for Mother’s Day that they are expecting their 18th child. I must say, as a mom of 10 kids, ages 6 to 20, that I am fascinated by the apparent ease at which they embrace their lifestyle. I often feel like I’m overworked and stressed out by the constant demands of homeschooling 8 still at home, feeding and cleaning for a large household and most of all, driving them to their various activities.
However, I wouldn’t trade my life for the world. I’ve tried the career route, having been an active duty Naval officer when my first three were born, and I’m MUCH happier now that I’m home with them. And I have to remind myself that the activities are things which I FREELY choose to have them participate in. I accept the sacrifices of time and money (and driving!) for the good which I see developing in their characters and well-being by their participation in outside activities.
That being said, I can’t help but compare myself to Michelle Duggar and wonder if maybe I can’t learn something from her calm demeanor and organizational skills?
And, yes, I’ve been asked if we’re like the Duggars.
I don’t know them personally, but I know another large homeschooling family who has met them!
Militant Mom
However, I wouldn’t trade my life for the world. I’ve tried the career route, having been an active duty Naval officer when my first three were born, and I’m MUCH happier now that I’m home with them. And I have to remind myself that the activities are things which I FREELY choose to have them participate in. I accept the sacrifices of time and money (and driving!) for the good which I see developing in their characters and well-being by their participation in outside activities.
That being said, I can’t help but compare myself to Michelle Duggar and wonder if maybe I can’t learn something from her calm demeanor and organizational skills?
And, yes, I’ve been asked if we’re like the Duggars.
I don’t know them personally, but I know another large homeschooling family who has met them!
Militant Mom
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JustAnotherThou
Guest
I also don’t know them, although I would guess that what we see on TV is not actually every day life for them, I am sure it is just a glimpse of what they want us to see. I am sure she also has many days such as yours where she is stressed out!!!
I know my mother would have expected us and insured that we were on our BEST behavior and our home as tidy as can be if we were on TV!!! She would have also wanted everyone to believe she did it will little to no ease. I remember many times in her life finding her up cleaning house in the middle of the night just so it would appear to her “friends” that she never had to worry about cleaning house!!!
(This comment is not to you Militant Mom) For all those who are criticizing the size of this Duggar family. I personally wouldn’t criticize any family if they choose to have 1 or 20 children, as long as they are able to support themselves, are not abusive and want each of those children. I admire everyone who is open to Life!!! If I remember correctly the OP who started this thread said she had 10 children. Most of our society would say that is too many. I know that I only have 1 child right now and there are people who assume I don’t want any more when in fact I am having problems having more.
While I personally wouldn’t have a younger child care for an older one if I didn’t have to. I know that my grandfathers parents passed away when he was 2 yo. His older brother at the age of 18 took care of all of his siblings (along with his new wife) there were 12 of them. They did place one, that was 1 yo in a convent due to the fact she was in VERY poor health and they feared without constant attention she would die. They were unable to provide her with that constant attention. Many people today would call them irresponsible, horrible, unfit parents because of their decision. My great aunt lived in that convent for 83 years, and never blamed her brother for placing her there as an infant.
I doubt any of us would pass everyone’s scrutiny if our families were put in the public view. Thus the reason most of us would never put our selves on public TV. Unfortunately, I see too many times, families are scrutinized even when they are not on TV. In my own parish unfortunately I have heard (people comment directly too me) parishioners criticize large families and those without children. Even had one person who worked for the parish tell my DH and I that we shouldn’t be trying to prevent children. Little did she know that we are NOT trying to prevent children. We are trying EVERYTHING (within the teaching of the Church) to have children!!!
I don’t think that we need to stay out of everyone’s parenting style or choices. Of course there are many children out there that need to help of our society to realize they are in a bad situation and need to be placed in a better one. I would just caution people on criticizing someone’s parenting style that is not abusive. Even though I don’t agree with the Duggar’s parenting styles I can not see anything abusive with it.
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Sierrah
Guest
Being the oldest of a much smaller bunch of siblings I think it’s a mistake for the Duggers to place the burden or having some many children on their older children. While I agree that the mother should expect help for the older kids their buddy system leaves a lot to be desired. The older kids deserve a childhood too and attention. If they had nannies and such I would say anything but taking advantage of older kids as replacement parent just doesn’t seem right to me. 
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1234
Guest
Let’s wait until this situation plays out. Until the kids start writing books and appearing on Oprah. The assembly line approach to childrearing isn’t much written about or copied, but the Kennedy family did something like this, and, excluding the two who were assassinated, all did not turn out well, either amongst the survivors or their offspring.
Another thing; among this family group, count on at least several not having children and a number of others not having very many. After all, they’ve already been there and done that.
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monicatholic
Guest
I wanted to reply to this:
how many times had I read the phrase “risk of down syndrome”? we are amazed at what an astonishing gift from God she is. no risk-- all gift. please don’t be afraid of these children. God loves us so tenderly through them.
When our DS baby was born, we learned that 80% of DS babies are born to women under 35.
how many times had I read the phrase “risk of down syndrome”? we are amazed at what an astonishing gift from God she is. no risk-- all gift. please don’t be afraid of these children. God loves us so tenderly through them.
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fmrcatholic
Guest
That being said, I can’t help but compare myself to Michelle Duggar and wonder if maybe I can’t learn something from her calm demeanor and organizational skills?
Militant Mom
I agree, we can learn a lot from her.
Militant Mom
I agree, we can learn a lot from her.
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fmrcatholic
Guest
I am sure if the Dugger’s read your post’s, they would smile and pray for you.
I have read your post’s myself and I am sorry that you have chosen yourself as the judge of their hearts under the guise of “discernment” . ONLY God can judge our hearts and that is exactly what you have done as you have posted that you “strongly suspect heir motives”.
You have watched “edited pieces” of several tv appearances (which is such a small portion of their lives) and presented information as if you were a witness in their home.
Proverbs 6:16-19 talks about 7 things that God hates.
“A false witness that speaks lies”
This includes someone who, acting as a witness, **twists or **perverts the truth. Although this action is closely related to someone who fabricates an accusation, it specifically applies to one who lies as a public witness.
You have admitted to being a “critical poster”. If you feel so strongly that they are “suspicious” and are failing their family, perhaps you should channel you energy into praying for them. It is impossible to dislike someone you pray for.
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fmrcatholic
Guest
AMEN!!!
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monicatholic
Guest
why would you assume I’m not praying for them? it’s exceedingly easy to dislike people for whom we pray, frm.
my arguments have not been centered on disliking the Duggars. my arguments have been focused on highlighting what I believe, is a faulty pro-life aesthetic foisted by the Duggars. I used specific and factual actions and quotes from their family (actions and quotes that are highly publicised by them) compared to relevant catechism quotes. I (most recently) argued that the conversation is wrongly circulating around false alternatives.
can you address how your support of the D family is consistent with authentic prolife philosophy-- the CCC 2221 for instance?
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Just wanted to post quickly here to say that DW was at a homeschool fair yesterday that is Christian (not Catholic) and the Dugger family was there. They had a booth set up and from what DW said they gave a presentation that she did not have a chance to attend. While both of us disagree with some of their practices, we were amazed to see how mild mannered and well behaved they were at this fair. We did not talk to any of them, only saw the mother on the phone, the father talking to someone else and at times the kids would be walking around or would be sitting at the booth. They seemed to be very clean cut, respectful children.
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ghaybyers1
Guest
I have no business commenting too much on the parenting style of the Duggars, as I am not a parent (yet, I pray) myself, but I will say:
I come from a non-religious (minus myself, of course) family of 4, and my sister and I are expected to do all of the cleaning, most of tending of our garden (roughly 250 square feet of garden! ) and some of the more “manly” house repairs as well. (I learned how to fix a clogged drain this weekend- I can’t help it, I’m proud of myself!) I have to say, learning how to install sub-flooring, tile, siding etc. during the building of our new home was intensly character building- and the excitement that comes with learning more “adult” tasks (imagine my smile the first time I operated a back hoe!) has led me to lead a more productive life.
As my sister and I do this work, my parents, who have given up so much for us, have been freed up to have weekly date nights, join service groups, adopt two puppies… Not every family is the same, but perhaps this testimony of the inherent BOONS of giving a large portion of the responsibility for house and family will help some people understand the opinions of others who believe that “too much work” is 100% bad for children/teens. I work 2 jobs, am a college student (and graduate) and I still will happily take on extra responsibility at home- because this is my family, it is a unit. We all have our days where we need help, but largely, it works out.
God bless
I come from a non-religious (minus myself, of course) family of 4, and my sister and I are expected to do all of the cleaning, most of tending of our garden (roughly 250 square feet of garden!
) and some of the more “manly” house repairs as well. (I learned how to fix a clogged drain this weekend- I can’t help it, I’m proud of myself!) I have to say, learning how to install sub-flooring, tile, siding etc. during the building of our new home was intensly character building- and the excitement that comes with learning more “adult” tasks (imagine my smile the first time I operated a back hoe!) has led me to lead a more productive life.As my sister and I do this work, my parents, who have given up so much for us, have been freed up to have weekly date nights, join service groups, adopt two puppies… Not every family is the same, but perhaps this testimony of the inherent BOONS of giving a large portion of the responsibility for house and family will help some people understand the opinions of others who believe that “too much work” is 100% bad for children/teens. I work 2 jobs, am a college student (and graduate) and I still will happily take on extra responsibility at home- because this is my family, it is a unit. We all have our days where we need help, but largely, it works out.
God bless
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BennyBoy89
Guest
Ok, Monicatholic, I agree with you for being skeptical of the Duggars. Ive seen them on tv, and there are definitely some screws loose in that family. I don’t think youre being uncharitable at all. When you expose yourself in the public spotlight, you open yourself up for criticizing.
As someone who comes from the “evangelical” Christian world and was homeschooled for 3 years, I can say I know pretty well the type of people the Duggars are. My family isn’t like them at all. My parents have never been opposed to their kids dressing like, well, um, normal people, not Laura Ingalls Wilder and Co. We were allowed to watch tv, play videogames, and read non-Christian books. This def. put us in the minority of the homeschooling crowd. What I’ve noticed about the Duggars is that they don’t raise their children to be who God made them to be, but to be who Mom and Dad want them to be. They exercise complete control over their kids, and not in a parental way. It’s as though they do it simply so they can control someone or something. The matching, consciously outdated outfits, regimented chores (unequally distributed by gender, as one poster pointed out), and homeschooling point this out. The Duggars don’t even go to church but have “home church.” I’m sure many people will think I’m being uncharitable, but I’ve been around enough people like this to know how they are. It has nothing to do with their faith in Christ, but, like I said, manipulation.
All I can say is, the Duggars need the Church.
As someone who comes from the “evangelical” Christian world and was homeschooled for 3 years, I can say I know pretty well the type of people the Duggars are. My family isn’t like them at all. My parents have never been opposed to their kids dressing like, well, um, normal people, not Laura Ingalls Wilder and Co. We were allowed to watch tv, play videogames, and read non-Christian books. This def. put us in the minority of the homeschooling crowd. What I’ve noticed about the Duggars is that they don’t raise their children to be who God made them to be, but to be who Mom and Dad want them to be. They exercise complete control over their kids, and not in a parental way. It’s as though they do it simply so they can control someone or something. The matching, consciously outdated outfits, regimented chores (unequally distributed by gender, as one poster pointed out), and homeschooling point this out. The Duggars don’t even go to church but have “home church.” I’m sure many people will think I’m being uncharitable, but I’ve been around enough people like this to know how they are. It has nothing to do with their faith in Christ, but, like I said, manipulation.
All I can say is, the Duggars need the Church.
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mamacita
Guest
**Benny,
Yes, I agree that they should go to church, however I never heard/read that they don’t go so I will take your word for it.
However, in regards to your comment about them dressing alike and/or out of style, not so. I am a ‘hip’ homeschooling mom, I met them at a homeschool fair a couple of weeks ago and not one of the kids were dressed alike. In fact, they all had on very appropriate attire, AND very stylish I might add. So just for the record, they don’t dress the way that you are describing (at least not out in public, maybe that’s how their family photos are??)
**
Yes, I agree that they should go to church, however I never heard/read that they don’t go so I will take your word for it.
However, in regards to your comment about them dressing alike and/or out of style, not so. I am a ‘hip’ homeschooling mom, I met them at a homeschool fair a couple of weeks ago and not one of the kids were dressed alike. In fact, they all had on very appropriate attire, AND very stylish I might add. So just for the record, they don’t dress the way that you are describing (at least not out in public, maybe that’s how their family photos are??)
**
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Sepharad
Guest
Is that your daughter in the picture on your post? If so (and even if not!), she is absolutely beautiful! You are so fortunate to have been blessed with her!
I always loved children with DS; a friend of mine (she and her husband are both Chasidic Jews) adopted four children with DS and they love those children beyond measure.
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Sepharad
Guest
I have seen the Duggars on TV, and even emailed them via their website. I have no problem at all with them, and greatly admire them!
I’m no stranger to large families; living in a Chasidic Jewish community, families here average 10 children. We’re also Jewish homeschoolers, so I’ve meta lot of larger families via homeschooling as well. But the Jewish mothers or larger families often seem harried and overworked, as do some of the Catholic moms I know with many children.
Maybe the Duggars are doing something right? Why do you say “they need the (Catholic) church”? They are deeply spiritual Protestants, and seem very firmly committed to their understanding of Christianity. Evidently it works for them!
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