The "Dump Him" List for Girls

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Whoa now! This is the other end of the extreme.

I certainly don’t qualify for a majority on this list and you’d sooner insult me if you suggested I consider priesthood.
lol. no insults,i was just having a chuckle with the evidence that constitutes a break up of a relationship thats all.it was not a dig at you,not at all.

out of the 16 i can honestly say with my tail between my legs in disgust,ive done about 9/10…

my wife has stuck by me for the last twenty years of our relationship…bear in mind my wife is no angel either,back then,when we started seeing each other.

ive just aked my daughter the question and showed her the 16 proposals.she has her head screwed on.with the answers…

and she fell for the one i dreaded…
  1. He can’t stand on his own two feet without you; he emotionally unable to function by himself.
she said she felt guilty because of this…

so i pointed out this what she overlooked previously…
  1. He uses guilt to get you to do what he wants.
she is 16 in five months…

they are so young,they should not be having relationships in my eyes at that age…they should live life…

she has boys as friends but non for a relationship…ill make the most of it because it will soon change…
 
i seriously think that if a girl finds a lad who will not or has not done these things she has no chance of having a relationship with them…

they are in line for the priesthood…
Again, as guidelines, they convey a lot of truth. I have no doubt that most of the objections about them from young people will be more along the line of personal exception.

Maybe more of a personal point system would be in line, as long as it was done before you meet someone. Otherwise it would be an excercise in justification, speaking of which +5 points if you feel you need to justify your boyfriend.
 
clol. no insults,i was just having a chuckle with the evidence that constitutes a break up of a relationship thats all.it was not a dig at you,not at all.
I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just a pet peeve of mine when people look at my interest in religion and my single status together as if it were some socially awkward sign. I hate that. -.-
and she fell for the one i dreaded…
I’ve thought about that one before and the more I discern, the more I see myself less of that type of guy than I originally thought. I guess I just confused the idea of finding an emotional support in a lover and that of being a psychologically dependent wreck. q:
 
Again, as guidelines, they convey a lot of truth. I have no doubt that most of the objections about them from young people will be more along the line of personal exception.

Maybe more of a personal point system would be in line, as long as it was done before you meet someone. Otherwise it would be an excercise in justification, speaking of which +5 points if you feel you need to justify your boyfriend.
👍👍

they do that.and i totally agree with guidance/help like this…

its a good thing,i think that so many parents were i come from dont spend time to point these things out…
having said that so many children are seeing this every day of their parents daily they think its the norm…

it very good in what it is…:)🙂
 
Whoa now! This is the other end of the extreme.

I certainly don’t qualify for a majority on this list and you’d sooner insult me if you suggested I consider priesthood.
You mightve misread that through the veil of overzealousness.

Hes saying that guys whove never done anything on that list wouldnt have a chance with those good Catholic girls anyway, because theyre too busy waiting in line for the priesthood. Since youve made it public that you dont fit this list, he wasnt talking about you.

Also, whats wrong and insulting about being called to priesthood? I think priests and those undertaking holy vocations might be offended and insulted by your comment!
 
Whoa now! This is the other end of the extreme.

I certainly don’t qualify for a majority on this list and you’d sooner insult me if you suggested I consider priesthood.
Priesthood is a wonderful calling. There is no insult in saying someone is called to the priesthood. Or am I misunderstanding your post?
 
Here’s something that I’ll add.
Never date a woman who dreams of marrying the likes of Justin Bieber, Edward Cullen or some other famous dude. You’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment.
 
its funny really how this is about girls…

and its turned out mentioning boys/men going into priesthood…i suppose it could go for boys and girls…

i have a friend for more than forty years who joined the society of Jesus (Jesuits) all because it was girls who were basically doing the numbers above to him…

he got his calling one night while out on the beer…

ps… there is nothing wrong whatsoever with the priesthood.i hold the ones i know with the greatest of respect.and the ones i don’t also because of who they represent…
 
Hes saying that guys whove never done anything on that list wouldnt have a chance with those good Catholic girls anyway, because theyre too busy waiting in line for the priesthood. Since youve made it public that you dont fit this list, he wasnt talking about you.
Which is exactly why it’s out of whack. I know plenty of decent guys (both online and in real life) who are miserable about not finding a girl to fall in love with. They have the qualities but can’t find the girl so the last thing you’d suggest is the priesthood.

And as you most obviously pointed out and at the same time logically looped in your zeal, I haven’t done much on this list either.

I’m certainly not like that jerk from 50 Shades of Gray but that doesn’t mean I lack romantic aspirations.
Also, whats wrong and insulting about being called to priesthood? I think priests and those undertaking holy vocations might be offended and insulted by your comment!
Let them! Cuz like you, such priests would strike me as more socially inept than the geek subculture I affiliate myself with.

Thankfully, I’ve met men of the cloth who are wiser than that and don’t make a tactless defense of people who have no understanding of a person’s desire for a relationship.
Priesthood is a wonderful calling. There is no insult in saying someone is called to the priesthood. Or am I misunderstanding your post?
It IS insulting to someone who has been called a decent guy (beyond just Catholic standards) but hasn’t been able to bag a girl because of he can’t find his type.

Sure the priesthood is a wonderful calling… if you have no sense of romanticism, aren’t called to maintain family lines, and don’t find it in themselves to conceive the next generation.
 
Which is exactly why it’s out of whack. I know plenty of decent guys (both online and in real life) who are miserable about not finding a girl to fall in love with. They have the qualities but can’t find the girl so the last thing you’d suggest is the priesthood.
I still don’t understand why that would be thelast thing to suggest. Being called to the priesthood or for holy vocations isn’t exactly a* death sentence.* 🤷
Let them! Cuz like you, such priests would strike me as more socially inept than the geek subculture I affiliate myself with.

Thankfully, I’ve met men of the cloth who are wiser than that and don’t make a tactless defense of people who have no understanding of a person’s desire for a relationship.
I think everyone’s base desire as a human being is to love and to be loved. But, a person’s desire is his own will and sometimes not the will of God the Father. It sounds like a person who is so wrapped up in what he believes he “deserves” is only out to fulfill his own will rather than at the very least being open to God’s.
It IS insulting to someone who has been called a decent guy (beyond just Catholic standards) but hasn’t been able to bag a girl because of he can’t find his type.
There is no such thing as coincidence. If you’re not finding your type over and over, maybe God is trying to tell you something. That no matter how hard one fights God’s will, he will end up like Jona on the shores of Nineveh. Or maybe God is saying be patient. Who knows God’s will, but at least have your eyes open!
Sure the priesthood is a wonderful calling… if you have no sense of romanticism, aren’t called to maintain family lines, and don’t find it in themselves to conceive the next generation.
This is still very condescending towards those in the priesthood and those who are involved in holy vocations. No sense of romanticism? How do you know that? Maybe some of them could’ve been the most loving, romantic, husbands and awesome fathers – but instead they gave that up by their own choice (not because they had no other options) for a greater good.

How do you know you are called to “maintain family ties?” Your family has called you to do that? St. Thomas Aquinas’ family called him to that too, even bringing him prostitutes to try and get him to change his mind about living the holy life, and he still refused and it didn’t work.

The only one who does the calling and calls the shots is God. If he hasn’t called a person to be married, they will never be no matter how hard they try. No one has a “right” to be married or even live a happy life, just ask Job.
 
This list is pretty much spot on! 😃 I’ve grown to be wary of men that show any of those signs, because they’re definitely not headed in the right direction.
 
I still don’t understand why that would be thelast thing to suggest. Being called to the priesthood or for holy vocations isn’t exactly a* death sentence.* 🤷
It’s a very personal blow to someone who feels called to a marriage vocation (complete with romantic longings to boot).
I think everyone’s base desire as a human being is to love and to be loved. But, a person’s desire is his own will and sometimes not the will of God the Father. It sounds like a person who is so wrapped up in what he believes he “deserves” is only out to fulfill his own will rather than at the very least being open to God’s.
This same logic applies to religious vocations as well. Just simply replace “deserves” with “called” only to fulfill his own selfishness. Your point?
There is no such thing as coincidence. If you’re not finding your type over and over, maybe God is trying to tell you something. That no matter how hard one fights God’s will, he will end up like Jona on the shores of Nineveh. Or maybe God is saying be patient. Who knows God’s will, but at least have your eyes open!
I’ve had my eyes open and the only thing that has led me is the complete opposite of what you are in implying. You’ve got a lot of gall to assume I have not discerned. I am at a prime age where I oughta be dating! I have the job which gives me the money to do so. And if you insist on signs, please let it be known that certain family events have only DIRECTED me to consider marriage.
This is still very condescending towards those in the priesthood and those who are involved in holy vocations. No sense of romanticism? How do you know that? Maybe some of them could’ve been the most loving, romantic, husbands and awesome fathers – but instead they gave that up by their own choice (not because they had no other options) for a greater good.
If it’s not for the greater good, that sense of romanticism was never real to begin with. Furthermore, the fact remains is that romance is not an idea they would regularly contend with.
How do you know you are called to “maintain family ties?” Your family has called you to do that? St. Thomas Aquinas’ family called him to that too, even bringing him prostitutes to try and get him to change his mind about living the holy life, and he still refused and it didn’t work.
No, I have discerned it. Are you done assuming now?
The only one who does the calling and calls the shots is God. If he hasn’t called a person to be married, they will never be no matter how hard they try. No one has a “right” to be married or even live a happy life, just ask Job.
So much for “be fruitful and multiply.” :rolleyes:
 
It’s a very personal blow to someone who feels called to a marriage vocation (complete with romantic longings to boot).
In other words, you’re not open to that possibility because it’s not what you want to hear. It’s not your idea of a happy life. Often times, God’s will is not what we want to hear. Just something to think about.
This same logic applies to religious vocations as well. Just simply replace “deserves” with “called” only to fulfill his own selfishness. Your point?
I’m not understanding the correlation between “deserves” and being “called” here. Someone being called to something isn’t exactly them doing it out of what they feel they deserve.

There have been many saints who God has called to do His work and spread His gospel, alot of them have stated “Why me God? I am no one, I am a sinner. I am weak and feeble, I’m not a good speaker.” Yet God knows that and still calls them to do his bidding.

So you may be asking God the same things, “Why me God? I have a stable job, I’m financially stable, good-looking, friendly, an over-all achiever and hardworking person who would make a good father” yet God knows that and still may call you to do his bidding, whatever that may be.
I’ve had my eyes open and the only thing that has led me is the complete opposite of what you are in implying. You’ve got a lot of gall to assume I have not discerned. I am at a prime age where I oughta be dating! I have the job which gives me the money to do so. And if you insist on signs, please let it be known that certain family events have only DIRECTED me to consider marriage.
This kind of highlights what I mean. You feel you “deserve” to be dating, that you have the right to it just because you have the means to do so financially and age-wise. However, a lot of people in the priesthood before they became priests have been in your shoes too. But it’s not just about the priesthood either. Some people are just called to live an ordinary, single, layperson life too. That is yet another possibility.
If it’s not for the greater good, that sense of romanticism was never real to begin with. Furthermore, the fact remains is that romance is not an idea they would regularly contend with.
You are making a huge generalization here and are assuming.
No, I have discerned it. Are you done assuming now?
In other words you’ve decided what you want for your life, which is completely fine. But again, sometimes what we want is not what God wants.

Jesus didn’t want to die on the cross, but He told his Father, “Not what I want, but what you want.”

And again, I don’t know you and I don’t know what God has in store for you or even for myself, but I am just stating some of the possibilities.
So much for “be fruitful and multiply.” :rolleyes:
Not everyone is called to that. Was Joseph, the earthly father figure of Jesus Christ, called to be fruitful and multiply and have his own children? He was a good guy, had the means to raise a large family, yet he never had a child of his own because that is not what God called him to do.
 
Lost Wanderer, many of the young priests I know would make THE best husbands and fathers that I have ever seen. In fact, many of them had girlfriends before they felt the call to priesthood.

You are looking at this all wrong. A man who would make a good father would also make a good husband, and vice versa. It is not that they have no sense of romance; it is that they have fallen in love with Christ and His Church. The Church is his bride, the congregation, his children. They are husbands and fathers in a very real way.

It appears to me that you are possibly a young man and haven’t truly grasped the beauty of the priesthood. I was the same way for a very long time. I hope that you will at least consider it, and discern it. A spiritual director would help very much. Remember, wherever God calls you, that’s where you’ll be happiest, regardless of your plans. God bless!
 
In other words, you’re not open to that possibility because it’s not what you want to hear. It’s not your idea of a happy life. Often times, God’s will is not what we want to hear. Just something to think about.
Wow, and people accuse me of twisting words.

What part of “I have discerned” did you find most uncomfortable with? I can’t help but observe that whenever someone advocates vocations to the priesthood, they seem to have an agenda against those who have discerned the alternative.
I’m not understanding the correlation between “deserves” and being “called” here. Someone being called to something isn’t exactly them doing it out of what they feel they deserve.
If you insist on signs, I’ve seen more signs that call me to marriage than otherwise. So hence, why should I not at least frown or roll my eyes when I see people (who know me no better than you) humorously suggest I consider the priesthood? Why do you discourage people like me for finally making a decision? Why do you insist that you have figured out my vocation better than I have? Have you followed me all throughout my life? Do you have some hidden camera system that tracks men like me?

Are you God?
So you may be asking God the same things, “Why me God? I have a stable job, I’m financially stable, good-looking, friendly, an over-all achiever and hardworking person who would make a good father” yet God knows that and still may call you to do his bidding, whatever that may be.
This is rich, you know? The way you imply that if I’m going for marriage and parenthood, I’m going against God’s bidding? If I didn’t know any better, I’d be as suspicious as you often are and question your attitudes towards the traditional family.
This kind of highlights what I mean. You feel you “deserve” to be dating, that you have the right to it just because you have the means to do so financially and age-wise. However, a lot of people in the priesthood before they became priests have been in your shoes too. But it’s not just about the priesthood either. Some people are just called to live an ordinary, single, layperson life too. That is yet another possibility.
Again, if I have discerned, why should I not further my conviction? I’ve had many people advise me on these boards and in real life that if I want to be married, I should get out there and take action.

It is deemed villainous for parents to discourage religious vocations but outright saintly for religious to discourage those who pursue courtship and marriage? I think not!
You are making a huge generalization here and are assuming.
O rly? And what good is romanticism to the priesthood? Do share. Cuz last time I checked, the genre is a stumbling block to their celibacy.
But again, sometimes what we want is not what God wants.
And there are times when what God wants is also what we want. Your point? You make it sound like as if every person’s desire is automatically counter to God’s desire.

What’s next? Because I desire to do good, of my own conviction, it means that God desires I do evil?
And again, I don’t know you and I don’t know what God has in store for you or even for myself, but I am just stating some of the possibilities.
Oh so only now you concede? I have already considered the possibilities and have discerned. Just as many priests realized their calling, so have I. Again, you talk of signs? I’ve had plenty.
Not everyone is called to that. Was Joseph, the earthly father figure of Jesus Christ, called to be fruitful and multiply and have his own children? He was a good guy, had the means to raise a large family, yet he never had a child of his own because that is not what God called him to do.
Not everyone is called to celibacy either. Again, your point?
You are looking at this all wrong. A man who would make a good father would also make a good husband, and vice versa. It is not that they have no sense of romance; it is that they have fallen in love with Christ and His Church. The Church is his bride, the congregation, his children. They are husbands and fathers in a very real way.
A gay couple can take their family, their children, and justify it using the same logic you have. Does it make their family the same as a traditional one? Obviously not.
It appears to me that you are possibly a young man and haven’t truly grasped the beauty of the priesthood.
Not that young. Not anymore. Trust me when I say that as important as priests are to the Church, their calling is not mine.

The worst part here is I have only respect for those who feel called to it. I find that respect compromised when they think I’m fit just because I’m single and have a knack for religion. That’s nothing compared to the other (and may I add, more personal) signs I’ve had that I’m called to have my own family.
I was the same way for a very long time. I hope that you will at least consider it, and discern it.
Already did.
A spiritual director would help very much. Remember, wherever God calls you, that’s where you’ll be happiest, regardless of your plans. God bless!
Been there, done that. Gone to retreats. But yes, I agree that God desires only happiness whether my plans are not in line (or more realistically) they are. 😉
 
There is also a list for boys, which I didn’t have time to include, but interestingly enough a number of the warning signs on that list are the same or similar. One exception, of course, is porn- definitely a boy thing. Anyway I think that with the deletion of references to God (which would unfortunately be required in most public schools) the list could be helpful to include as part of the content of a high school health class.
I know this is a few days’ old, but I was away for the weekend (on a vocations discernment retreat 😃 ). I have to say, I really disagree that porn is solely a ‘boy’ thing, and people assuming that it’s a sin only men suffer with makes it harder for women to admit that they struggle (because they think they’re freaks/too masculine etc.). I admit that many more men have a porn addiction than women, but it is by no means a 100% ‘boy’ problem.
 
Lost Wanderer, you misunderstand my words. Im not saying thats what you are called to do, read my words again carefully. I said its always a POSSIBILITY, regardless whether YOU have discerned that or not. Some men still become priests later in life too. And some people are called to be normal singe people. And some to be fruitul and multiply. The point was sometimes through ypur own discernment you still end up like Jona, regardless what you try to do. Anyway Im done here as Im beating a dead horse 🙂
 
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