I think you are taking the “if it’s not in the Bible…” way too far, and I also think it’s not your fault, that’s what you were taught to believe.
Since when no mention of someone or something in a written document means that someone or something didn’t/doesn’t exist? Just an example: I’ve read several books about JFK. In them the names of several of the members of his family are left out. No mention of his sisters, his cousins, uncles or aunts, his brothers and sisters in law, no mention of him going to church, to the movies, to restaurants, etc. If I stick to the “if it’s not in the book” frame of mind, then I would come to the wrong conclusion that JFK had no sisters, no uncles or aunts, no brothers or sisters in law, never went to the movies, restaurants, etc.
We don’t have an exact date of when the Gospels were written, but we can deduce that Mary was still present when some of them were written. Have you ever thought about that? Catholics and orthodox have knowledge that St. Luke made 5 icons (images) of the Virgin Mary:
stlukeorthodox.com/html/iconography/iconhistory.cfm
travbuddy.com/travel-blogs/64118/St-Lukes-Icon-Mary-remote-monastery-19
webspace.webring.com/people/cy/youssef321321/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_the_Evangelist
Yes, images of the Mother of Our Savior made by none other than Luke the Evangelist. He did many things besides writing his Gospel. Before you tell me “it’s not in the Bible” I’ll tell you: what if he made the icons AFTER he wrote his Gospel, how do you expect him to write (in his Gospel about Jesus, not about himself) things ABOUT HIMSELF he didn’t know he would be making in the future? That’s asking too much from St. Luke. When you use common sense properly you’ll begin to see the truth.
All the Gospel writers knew Mary and got information about Jesus from Her. Luke wrote the nativity story because She told him. John wrote about the wedding of Cana and Her role there because She told him. Do you picture the gospel writers with pen and paper in hand raising their eyes upwards saying “OK Lord, I’m ready, tell me what to write”? God uses men and women to carry out His Divine Plan. That’s the way it was, it is and it will be. Mary had a direct participation in the writings of the Gospels, all four of them, guided by the Holy Spirit. She was a witness of the life of Jesus, from the moment He was conceived to the moment He ascended to Heaven. The writers saw no need to say it, but Her involvement is obvious, unless you stick to the “if it’s not in the Bible” unreasonable position.
Living vs dead…
Mark 12:27, “Now, he is the God, not of the dead BUT OF THE LIVING. You are totally wrong.”
Those in Heaven are ALIVE, not dead. The body is dead, the spirit is ALIVE. In the Gospel of Luke 16:19-30 we see the “dead” rich man interceding for his brothers. Also in 2 Maccabees 15:14, «Then Onias, the High Priest, said to Judas, “This is he who loves your brothers, he who prays without ceasing for the Jewish people and for the Holy City. He is Jeremiah, the prophet of God.”»
The “dead” Jeremiah praying “without ceasing” for the Jews. Luther, the forefather of all non Catholic Christians expelled both Maccabees books from his bible, that’s why they’re not in your bible.
If you are in a boat at sea that is sinking, then you grab a life-jacket jump in the water and pray to God to save you, and eventually a helicopter comes to your rescue, will you deny that the life-jacket and the rescuers from the helicopter saved your life? Of course we all would say God saved you, but we would also say that the life-jacket and the rescuers of the helicopter saved you too. When we say that, are we offending God? If a person, like the servants at the Cana wedding, follow Her advise to “do whatever He tells you”, isn’t She “saving” those that follow Her advise?
You didn’t answer my question about the unrecorded words of Jesus, the ones that “WILL NOT PASS AWAY.”