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LotusCarsLtd
Guest
Seeing all of this really makes me hate the way dating works. Too many head games.
But I want a wife too…
But I want a wife too…
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whatevergirl
Guest
No headgames is the wrong thing to do…just be yourself.
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Jay82
Guest
I scored a 7 despair, 50 relationship potential, 75 feelings, and 100 patience.
I suppose I would agree with that. I’m also an ENTJ, if that matters or not.
When I used to travel for business regularly I would talk to lots of random women on planes, airports, bars, etc. I had no intention of anything more than pleasant conversation, although I was asked out by a lot of women during that period of time.
I suppose I would agree with that. I’m also an ENTJ, if that matters or not.
To answer your question from my experience…yes, practicing Catholic girls definitely do. But I would agree that it is less likely.[SIGN]Look out world, chev’s coming![/SIGN]
*Okay…Okay…question…
Do practicing Catholic girls play these games, chev? Like have you met someone in a Catholic community type setting, and she ended up flirting, leading you on…and then friending you? Or are these events predominantly happening with the secular world? Not saying Catholics don’t have issues…we all have issues, we are all sinners. But, the likliehood of an attractive, well adjusted God fearing woman jerking you around, to ME, is slimmer than if you don’t set your sights on Catholic girls.
So…thought I’d ask the question.*
While I agree this is necessarily true in most cases, I’m the exception to this ‘rule’. I run a number of different social activities/events/sports teams/etc and I’m always talking to and meeting new girls. I want to make new people feel welcome and will talk to them, female or male. I talk to plenty of girls I have no intention of dating or asking out. Some are just acquaintances, others are closer friends. The ones who are friends may or may not have boyfriends, but we know that it wouldn’t work out between us.
When I used to travel for business regularly I would talk to lots of random women on planes, airports, bars, etc. I had no intention of anything more than pleasant conversation, although I was asked out by a lot of women during that period of time.
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LotusCarsLtd
Guest
I try to be. The problem is that I tend to be very shy and uncomfortable in social situations. I had the opportunity (three times) to associate at parties with young Catholic women and I spent most of the time either by myself, with my Catholic guy friends, walking around aimlessly speaking to no one, or being too nervous to approach random women (and when I did having it end in awkward conversation that went nowhere). I’m just not good socially and have never been.No headgames is the wrong thing to do…just be yourself.
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LotusCarsLtd
Guest
I took the test too and got these results:
A
ack
Guest
Male Best Friend
You scored 38 despair, 25 relationship potential, 75 feelings, and 100 patience
Given that there are 16 possible test results, I wonder if we should be surprised that everyone on this thread is getting the same one.
You scored 38 despair, 25 relationship potential, 75 feelings, and 100 patience
Given that there are 16 possible test results, I wonder if we should be surprised that everyone on this thread is getting the same one.
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LotusCarsLtd
Guest
On a serious note perhaps many Catholic singles have a serious problem with dating; I know I do. I was thinking recently that since dioceses have ministries to help with religious and priestly vocations they should start ministries for the single and perhaps the married also. We need help finding spouses and keeping-up our Catholic marriages as much as those seeking to become priests and religious.
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chevalier
Guest
My best buddy got Asexual/Satisfied today morning. Maybe the “25 potential” figure is steady with us (my buddy got it too), don’t know.
Longsword. Big. Heavy.
I’d suggest two things: 1) getting some theoretical knowledge about expected manners, etiquette etc., basic knowledge about human interactions, types of personalities, non-verbal communication and such like (so that you aren’t facing a total unknown), 2) just breaking the fear as far as practice goes.
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Jay82
Guest
While I got the ‘Male Best Friend’ I didn’t get the same number breakdown. Mine was as follows:
I scored a 7 despair, 50 relationship potential, 75 feelings, and 100 patience.
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chevalier
Guest
Kim, that’s puzzling somewhat because as Bucket says, men are relatively simple. It’s not like they won’t be friends or won’t invest themselves in a friendship with a woman, but generally, if they want to spend time, if they hang around and are available, then they’re most likely interested or at least open. Things like long walks with friends, protracted conversations with all but the best of friends, going to cinema/theatre/whatever (let alone dance clubs) with friends just don’t seem to be a normal part of friendship from a male point of view (at least mine). I would have to see your interactions with male acquaintances to be able to tell you more and taking guesses is hard (assuming we’re not talking about secular men not being moved by a decent girl). Have you ever heard any possible hints from a man you’ve known as a friend or acquaintance offline?chevalier~
I decided to take this test for the fun of it and…I got the exact same score as you. And you know? It seems to fit me to a “T”
I AM the kind of a girl that guys see as “buddy Kim” which isn’t a bad thing but…for once I’d like one to give more than a friendly glance, ya know?
Speaking of what Bucket says…
Sometimes there’s the impression that a woman doesn’t really need a man in her life or isn’t currently interested in finding one. That’s when her life seems to be fully complete without a man, when men don’t seem to move her and so on. This connects somehow with being approachable or not very, but I can’t nail it down more precisely. It’s similar to how a non-single woman behaves (she already has someone, she’s fulfilled, she doesn’t need you except as friends, but she has priorities anyway).
It has been suggested to me that I emit such vibes too but I fail to see how, as I’m a notorious charmer.
Health issues don’t matter that much. People with serious health issues have partners. Sometimes the health issue is part of what makes a person unique on its own, let alone by contributing to developing the person’s character.I’m not offended but I’m not sure if you understand where I’m coming from. I’m NOT a flirt. If anything, I can’t flirt to save my life and if I do flirt I won’t even realize it until WAY after and then I’m all
As for signals, well, maybe try to be more observant and see if the guy tries to make a good impression on you, please you, make himself look good in your eyes and so on? Being the woman of the two, you can always ask if you’re reading him right because he seems as if he might be somewhat interested. If he confirms, you will know. If he turns red and loses speech, well, you will know too. If he just says, naah, I was just being friendly, then you will know he’s just being friendly.
You have some great potential there!
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chevalier
Guest
Bump.
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Onegin
Guest
Ahh chevalier, I know where you are coming from. 
I’m the lifelong friend nie confidant. Most of my friends and colleagues ended up getting married to people they met in law school. Which, considering how odd we all were back then, is somewhat disturbing.
That said, the closest I came to dating in those three years was a mutual understanding of the possibility of dating that lasted less than 24 hours because, in the immortal words of Gob Bluth from Arrested Development, I realised that I had made a “huge mistake.”
The second prospect was even more pitiful. Before I had even contemplated the idea of dating, this particular individual informed me that he could never quite think of marrying a girl who “fell shy of his physical fitness standards”, namely the fact that it takes me 20 minutes to run a 5k. He was dead serious.
Of course, one year later, I was invited to his wedding because - wait for it - he considered me a good friend.
But life is all about these types of stories isn’t it?
Oh, and for statistical purposes I scored “Best Friend” on the quiz and would consider myself an extroverted individual with a decent enough grasp on social etiquette.
I’m the lifelong friend nie confidant. Most of my friends and colleagues ended up getting married to people they met in law school. Which, considering how odd we all were back then, is somewhat disturbing.
That said, the closest I came to dating in those three years was a mutual understanding of the possibility of dating that lasted less than 24 hours because, in the immortal words of Gob Bluth from Arrested Development, I realised that I had made a “huge mistake.”
The second prospect was even more pitiful. Before I had even contemplated the idea of dating, this particular individual informed me that he could never quite think of marrying a girl who “fell shy of his physical fitness standards”, namely the fact that it takes me 20 minutes to run a 5k. He was dead serious.
Of course, one year later, I was invited to his wedding because - wait for it - he considered me a good friend.
But life is all about these types of stories isn’t it?
Oh, and for statistical purposes I scored “Best Friend” on the quiz and would consider myself an extroverted individual with a decent enough grasp on social etiquette.
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chevalier
Guest
Better no marriage than a huge mistake!–Obviously reserving that a refusal to settle a single bit in less than important matters is a huge mistake in its own right.
BTW, I’m unable to run 5k. On the other hand, I’m enough of a bastard to keep running when I’m swallowing my own blood from lungs.
Hah, makes me recall running up a dune with that sport girl I knew for a grand total of 2 days and pretending I’m a-okay by pulling all my tricks to fake a steady voice.
I ended up helping her up and I don’t know how I pulled that one off. Must be the effect of women on me or something.
Well, I’m not sure I would even want to be in a relationship with someone who used language like, “a girl who fell shy of his physical standards.” I tend to associate that kind of language with psychopathic traits because of the tone.
BTW, I’m unable to run 5k. On the other hand, I’m enough of a bastard to keep running when I’m swallowing my own blood from lungs.
Hah, makes me recall running up a dune with that sport girl I knew for a grand total of 2 days and pretending I’m a-okay by pulling all my tricks to fake a steady voice.
I ended up helping her up and I don’t know how I pulled that one off. Must be the effect of women on me or something.Well, I’m not sure I would even want to be in a relationship with someone who used language like, “a girl who fell shy of his physical standards.” I tend to associate that kind of language with psychopathic traits because of the tone.
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Onegin
Guest
I often find that the most unlikely characters end up with the most fortuitous circumstances! Psychopathic traits or not, both gentlemen in my examples have wonderful jobs and are married to absolutely gorgeous women that are devout stay-at-home Catholic wives and completely devoted to them.
Meanwhile, my pride and I were puffing our way to a 15-minute 5k. For the sake of personal achievement, of course.
God tests us in the strangest ways not to judge others or something because, at times, their fantastic fortune in this area looks a bit like a huge cosmic joke!
To be perfectly honest, my one big problem - from the Catholic, relationship standpoint - is the fact that I prefer a job that keeps me travelling and would be absolutely miserable in a stay-at-home role. For a lot of Catholic men, this seems to be the factor that sounds the death-knell, as many are looking for exactly that type of person. Also, from feedback I’ve received, many do not like what they would term ‘opinionated’ women which, unfortunately, is another character flaw that I possess in abundance.
However, having an opinionated personality does make for good standing in the ‘friend’ category.
Meanwhile, my pride and I were puffing our way to a 15-minute 5k. For the sake of personal achievement, of course.
God tests us in the strangest ways not to judge others or something because, at times, their fantastic fortune in this area looks a bit like a huge cosmic joke!
To be perfectly honest, my one big problem - from the Catholic, relationship standpoint - is the fact that I prefer a job that keeps me travelling and would be absolutely miserable in a stay-at-home role. For a lot of Catholic men, this seems to be the factor that sounds the death-knell, as many are looking for exactly that type of person. Also, from feedback I’ve received, many do not like what they would term ‘opinionated’ women which, unfortunately, is another character flaw that I possess in abundance.
However, having an opinionated personality does make for good standing in the ‘friend’ category.
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chevalier
Guest
In my opinion, having an opinion is refreshing. It’s only somewhat burdensome when someone has very strong opinions on trivial subjects (e.g. the only right colour of the curtains or a perfect dietary programme for the family etc.). Plus, being a good friend is a great trait because friendship is generally what keeps the show going on.
Maybe perfect people are better at keeping maladjusted units on the right track instead of matching perfect people together (not trying to count myself in the category, just saying).
I primarily want someone who will just want to be my friend and more basing on what I am (which doesn’t translate to seeing me as not needing improvement).
Maybe perfect people are better at keeping maladjusted units on the right track instead of matching perfect people together (not trying to count myself in the category, just saying).
I primarily want someone who will just want to be my friend and more basing on what I am (which doesn’t translate to seeing me as not needing improvement).
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Jay82
Guest
Yes, I can see wanting to have a job that requires regular travel being stumbling block for most Catholic guys. I used to travel a lot for work and know how it can affect friendships and relationships. Personally, if I had a girlfriend or wife that wanted (or had to) travel for work, I’m sure we would be able to make it work out just fine. It definitely wouldn’t prevent me from starting to maintaining a relationship, but it would require some extra effort and such. I’ve seen a good number of successful marriages where one person has to travel a lot for their job.To be perfectly honest, my one big problem - from the Catholic, relationship standpoint - is the fact that I prefer a job that keeps me travelling and would be absolutely miserable in a stay-at-home role. For a lot of Catholic men, this seems to be the factor that sounds the death-knell, as many are looking for exactly that type of person. Also, from feedback I’ve received, many do not like what they would term ‘opinionated’ women which, unfortunately, is another character flaw that I possess in abundance.
However, having an opinionated personality does make for good standing in the ‘friend’ category.
O
Onegin
Guest
I can see how it would be an issue, definitely. I just feel like it is being disingenuous to tell a guy that I want to embrace a traditional role when I don’t. Add this to the fact that I consider myself a “traditionalist” and things get even more problematic. 100% of the married women in my church are stay-at-home wives/mothers. I am the only single woman in the parish that has completed graduate-level education and holds a professional job (though I try not to let on about it!) . I don’t say this to boast - in fact, in non-academic environments, I find discussion of educational levels to be embarrassing. Yet, I can’t help feeling that, were I a man, the situation would be SO much easier to handle because I would be considered a good example for my peers, having a good education and a stable job. 
Because of this, I have consciously made the decision to stay single until:
Because of this, I have consciously made the decision to stay single until:
- I can harmonise my own convictions on career aspirations with the reality of expectations in Catholic culture, or
- Work out a mutually beneficial arrangement with someone who doesn’t mind that I am a “non-traditional traditionalist.”
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chevalier
Guest
Oh well, those guys don’t know what they’re losing. Their loss anyway.
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LotusCarsLtd
Guest
As a single guy I don’t think I would mind having a wife who works. The only issue I foresee is trying to balance work-life on her part. But I wouldn’t consider this an issue to completely reject a woman over.I can see how it would be an issue, definitely. I just feel like it is being disingenuous to tell a guy that I want to embrace a traditional role when I don’t. Add this to the fact that I consider myself a “traditionalist” and things get even more problematic. 100% of the married women in my church are stay-at-home wives/mothers. I am the only single woman in the parish that has completed graduate-level education and holds a professional job (though I try not to let on about it!) . I don’t say this to boast - in fact, in non-academic environments, I find discussion of educational levels to be embarrassing. Yet, I can’t help feeling that, were I a man, the situation would be SO much easier to handle because I would be considered a good example for my peers, having a good education and a stable job.
Because of this, I have consciously made the decision to stay single until:
And that, my friends, is that.
- I can harmonise my own convictions on career aspirations with the reality of expectations in Catholic culture, or
- Work out a mutually beneficial arrangement with someone who doesn’t mind that I am a “non-traditional traditionalist.”
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Jay82
Guest
I also think the same would apply to a man. How will you balance your work/life aspect so you can spend adequate time with your spouse/family?
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