Ultimately it is the woman who has the final say. Chances are the man probably showed interest and made moves, but the woman mightve been playing hard to get, until she finally gave the OK then things materialized.
This is ALL the more reason why I do not agree with match sites. Just more objectification going on and on and on. (Which *is *violence by the way- the meaning of the word violence means to go against the law of God. If you are getting messages like that, then their purpose is not serving what God intends.) Its all wrong. I’ve found match sites to be hopeless, because the premise and set up is already starting at a slight moral decay level (at best) … like finding a piece of fruit on the ground, bruised, a few worms in it and saying this is acceptable and great stuff because this is the best I could do. (not talking about the people on these websites here, I’m talking about the usage and venue of match sites.) Its pretty much advertising a person’s desires. The Word of the Lord says we are to guard our heart.
Well, my own opinion: I believe God is pleased with the many faithful Catholic marriages that have resulted from people using match sites. People are flawed and yes, some people don’t use the sites the right way. (Just like people who meet in real life don’t always treat the other the right way when figuring out if they should date or not.) But if one is looking for a spouse, I believe one should be open to many avenues, including online dating, and trust that God’s plan will unfold in His time. His plans are better than any of our own.
I like what you have to say. I am in agreement. Both with you and Jim G’s comment. Its not working what we have now. Just letting things sort of free-flow is too chaotic for the tenderest of emotions.
I would agree with you in saying that God is probably pleased with the many faithful Catholic marriage that have resulted.
Hmm… this is my conundrum right now. However, I’m pretty sure he did make a move and show interest, rather I am just so surprised by it I’m not sure, and thus, afraid to reciprocate in case I misread and I make a mess out of proper relations. Because I gave no reaction, I’m afraid he thought I blew off his interest though. I wish he would have been more clear and direct. Now I feel forced to be clear and direct to find out. I’m not sure that’s a good thing for our level of relation right now (we don’t know each other that well). Any suggestions? I want to be mature about this and would rather just clear the air and get things started if mutual attraction is there, and I feel fairly certain it is. Would it be too awful for a woman to be so forward ?
You can get more attention by starting your own thread.
Sometimes clear cut and direct works. I had a niece who recently married. I was reading their wedding website which included stories from both of them about how they met. They were interested but just acquaintances. He came into her place of employment sometimes. She got tired of waiting. Next time she saw him in there, she yelled out in a loud voice “Hey Jeff! Hi! How are you?!” Everyone turned to look, Jeff included. It got them started on the right track.
Anne, thank you for sharing your thoughts and expanding upon so many issues that we’ve brought up. Please don’t construe disagreement with an attack, I wish and pray the best for you.
Agree wholeheartedly, well said.
What are you considering a “proper relationship”? If there’s not some formally established relationship such as an employer/employee, teacher/student, etc. than there’s not really a “proper” relationship guideline to follow. Just ask if you’re interested! People struggle with bouncing around topics when they’re uncomfortable or not confident. Please don’t be held back by fear or someone saying no or a feeling that you shouldn’t initiate because you’re a woman.
Oh, no offense taken Inigo… I just capitalized God’s Word because it is separate from mine or anyone else’s… I apologize if it came across as shouting or angry.
yeah, but I didn’t really want the attention .
. just thought I’d sneak it in here somewhere… which I realize now I should not have done because it *will *hijack the thread. Zelliefan, I apologize! I’ll just make this my last post about it pertaining to it.These are all very good questions…as a convert, I know firsthand that God will find a way to continue building His Church no matter what happens with marriage and family life in the decades to come. I’m single and getting on in years…and I know many out there reading right now are in the same boat…but as far as the Kingdom is concerned, sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that it’s more than taken care of, no matter how terrible it looks or feels from our perspective.
) into something more productive. For instance, I’ve recently learned about how much more difficult it is for single men and women living in poverty to access services, assistance, safe housing, etc…what can we do to help those individuals specifically? Or how we might pray for lonely men and women in the Church…or for the Church to continue to grow (in essence, “children”), in the manner He sees fit.This story is sweet and all but…notice that she is blonde, thin, apparently well-off enough to be traveling to Rome frequently and well-connected enough to be doing English readings at the Papal Christmas Mass (check her Twitter). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that even with these Catholic I-prayed-to-Saint-so-and-so miracle stories you tend to see women who reflect society’s very narrow physical ideals and both women and men of higher socio-economic levels. Show me a true “tough cases” story-- we’re talking Tobias-and-Sarah tough- and I’ll forward that baby faster than you can say “match made in heaven”!
Hmnmmm… Not the same thing as what we have today.
And when that’s not an option? That’s part of the problem, for many of us, there are no churches like that. Take dating completely out of the picture. I haven’t had a Catholic friend since I got old enough so that my mom stopped arranging play dates with her friends’ kids. In some areas, unfortunately, church is just something you go to on Sundays to receive the Eucharist. There’s no participating at all beyond that.