Hi, I’m new to this forum but I wanted to address this thread. I’m personally struggling with the Church’s teaching on this matter but will post nothing in opposition to it on Catholic Answers. When discussing the topic of homosexuality, I find that people primarily think of the sex acts between the homosexual couple and not at all of just the close non-sexual intimacy that they also share just as any heterosexual couple would. Imagine being told that being heterosexual (something you did not choose) was a sin and you must remain celibate and must go without the close-ness that an intimate relationship such as marriage allows. All I ask is that one think of that perspective when speaking of the cross the homosexual must bear and remain faithful to God as well. The heterosexual person can CHOOSE the single life, the consecrated life or married life. The homosexual cannot! So, all I ask is that be kept in mind. Thanks from a struggling celibate Catholic
Welcome! I hope your stay here at CAF is fruitful!
Please define ‘intimate’ and ‘non-sexual.’ Those words seem to be at the crux of your struggle. As a married woman I can have intimate, non-sexual contact with whomever God has chosen to bring into my life. However, I am joined as
one with my husband. Our ‘intimate’ and ‘non-sexual’ life is completely different with each other than it is with our friends. As a married couple we are never really ‘non-intimate.’ (At least I hope not!) Society talks a lot about ‘non-sexual.’ The term is a misnomer. Catholic theologian Peter Kreeft says, “Sex isn’t something you
have. Sex is something you
are.”
When “two become one” it isn’t
just about where all the body parts are. It isn’t
just biological. I could have chosen to be “joined” with any number of men from my past (in fact I did.) That doesn’t mean that what I did with those people was actually becoming
one as God intended it. It is still about the choice to engage in the behavior or not.
When you speak of acts of affection between same sexes what do you really mean? I don’t think you mean the kiss I give my female best friend when we say good-bye? (We’re both theatre people, very gregarious.) Since my husband isn’t a cuddly-huggy type, the phrase, “I just want someone to hold me” just doesn’t carry much weight with me. I don’t get that type of affection either.
The kind of intimacy in
a marriage is impossible anywhere other than
in marriage. That is one of the key points of Church teaching. Regardless of attraction or genetics, marital intimacy on any level is impossible without
marriage. However, that doesn’t make marital life superior to the celibate life. It just makes it different. In fact it has been successfully argued that the celibate life is superior to marriage, (though that is a topic for another thread.)
All of us are called to chastity no matter our orientation or marital state. Please help me to understand where you are coming from. God bless you in your commitment to living your life according to the Truth.