The Girl In Church

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Much to my surprise - this thread actually seems to be going well… so I’ll say a little more… which is really about all I have to work with…

So… we always sit on opposite sides of the church (that’s just the way we’ve always sat), and there’s really no social time I am aware of, so it might seem a little strange to move over by her and start talking without a good reason…

But - I dunno… maybe she’d be interested…

A few weeks back I was in the back of the small chapel gathering some pamphlets and such on her side of the church… She came in for mass, and, since the chapel is small and it’s hard to move around, I wanted to give her the right of way… So I stepped to a side and waited…

Well, she also had to gather some pamphlets, hymnal, etc., and it took her a few moments… I just kind of stood there waiting to let her pass by; it was pretty obvious I was waiting on her… and, when she was ready, she took her seat… then I went over to my side and sat down… She never really looks at me, but she looked over a few times during the mass… So I guess she found it a nice gesture…

I dunno… I guess I did something right for a change, and maybe I am just making too much out of it… I really don’t know her at all, and I don’t see a way that I could really engage in any small talk with her…

It’s nice to know people are more open-minded about this than I thought… Helps to clear up some scruples… and kudos to those who found their spouses at church! 🙂
 
SuperLuigi said:
You need to talk to her a few times before asking her out. If you just go up and ask, her first reaction will probably be to say no.

It’s important to be patient on this, and once you’ve talked to her a few times, after mass would be a good time to ask her.

And when you ask—I wouldn’t call it a “date” to start off with. Don’t worry about the classification, unless she specifically asks. Have something specific in mind with what you want to do, and I would recommend against anything (movie or play) were you two can’t talk much.

Best of luck!
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Best advice! 👍
 
My father-in-law is great at introducing himself to people he doesn’t know. Whether he is at the grocery store, or in line for a play, or at church, he just says hello. And the response is always positive.

Just think of it as meeting someone new, and don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. If she likes you, she will make it easy to talk to her. You only need to make the first move.

It occurs to me that when she paused to get the pamphlets, that might have been your cue to say hello.

I would wait until after Mass to talk to her, though. Sitting somewhere besides your usual spot would be awkward - I agree with you there. I also agree with others to wait until you have had a few conversations before asking her out.
 
Wiseowl said:
I met my wife at Mass, we talked for a few weeks in the parking lot after service was done.
We exchanged a couple emails, then a couple more emails and before you know it I have three kids.
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You can get pregnant by exchanging emails now? :bigyikes: 😃
 
Here’s a variation on the theme. My brother, who was married at the time (and still is), noticed a pretty woman attending daily Mass at his parish. He moved to another neighborhood and started attending daily Mass there. She ended up moving to the same neighborhood and started attending daily Mass at the same church. He noticed that she had a Baltimore Orioles sticker on her car. Knowing I’m an Orioles fan, he struck up a conversation with her with the intention of introducing her to me. It took several months for him to connive a situation where we could meet, but eventually he did. Our first date was an Orioles game. We just celebrated our 24th anniversary and have 3 kids. Her idea of a great Mother’s Day is to go to an Orioles game! How lucky can a guy get?!

Church is the greatest pickup place you can find.

Another option you might consider is to see if there is someone who could introduce you, if you think that would feel more natural.
 
Church is one of the best places to meet potential romantic interests. Maybe one time change things up and sit near her area and talk to her after Mass. Just be sure to check out her ring finger though. My husband has to work every other weekend (he has no choice in the matter it is a military job) and every once in a while he has to go away for training or something of that sort for a month or two, so I am alone in Church a lot. I have probably had about 5 or 6 guys ask me out in church. lol
 
This topic is turning out wonderfully.

In a way, I guess a lot of people (male and female) would like to meet someone in church… it’s actually a kind of romantic notion…

But, like all romance, there’s still that divide that must be overcome…
 
Wiseowl said:
I met my wife at Mass, we talked for a few weeks in the parking lot after service was done.
We exchanged a couple emails, then a couple more emails and before you know it I have three kids.
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Wow. This gives a whole new meaning to the saying: “Time flies when you’re having fun”! 😃
 
This is so sweet. I would love it if a nice young man approached me after mass. I agree with everyone to say hello, introduce yourself, make a little small talk. Then the next time, maybe ask her to get coffee after church. Good luck!
 
William777 said:
Much to my surprise - this thread actually seems to be going well… so I’ll say a little more… which is really about all I have to work with…

So… we always sit on opposite sides of the church (that’s just the way we’ve always sat), and there’s really no social time I am aware of, so it might seem a little strange to move over by her and start talking without a good reason…

But - I dunno… maybe she’d be interested…

A few weeks back I was in the back of the small chapel gathering some pamphlets and such on her side of the church… She came in for mass, and, since the chapel is small and it’s hard to move around, I wanted to give her the right of way… So I stepped to a side and waited…

Well, she also had to gather some pamphlets, hymnal, etc., and it took her a few moments… I just kind of stood there waiting to let her pass by; it was pretty obvious I was waiting on her… and, when she was ready, she took her seat… then I went over to my side and sat down… She never really looks at me, but she looked over a few times during the mass… So I guess she found it a nice gesture…

I dunno… I guess I did something right for a change, and maybe I am just making too much out of it… I really don’t know her at all, and I don’t see a way that I could really engage in any small talk with her…

It’s nice to know people are more open-minded about this than I thought… Helps to clear up some scruples… and kudos to those who found their spouses at church! 🙂
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If it were me, you know what I’d do…find out where she’s sitting in the pew (I’m guessing she’s sitting at the end). Then walk up and ask if you can sit down. She’ll most likely scoot over and then act all nonchalant thanking her and just telling her that you ‘don’t care to be in a pew all by yourself’ and then just lead in with that. Ask her how long she’s been to the parish…very light small talk and then about a few exchanges in introduce yourself before the Mass begins.

Afterwards you can catch up with her later and talk some more.

Don’t think about it do it. Dump this girl from your mind because all it’s doing is giving you anxiety. Dump her from your mind, pray to God for strength and just immediately do what I just previously said above at next Mass. Don’t think just do. 👍
 
Ermmm… didnt realize the kiss part of the smiley there…

Just was going to give you some flowers… as a general rule, I never kiss on the first post - people might think I was easy or something…

:pshaw:
 
William777 said:
Ermmm… didnt realize the kiss part of the smiley there…

Just was going to give you some flowers… as a general rule, I never kiss on the first post - people might think I was easy or something…

:pshaw:
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Haha, no worries. 😉

I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Good luck getting “the girl.”
 
William777 said:
This is something so common for me. I have such a strange feeling about it - maybe it will help to just talk about it.

So I go to mass this evening, and - as always - there’s a girl who sits on the other side of the pews in the small chapel. She’s pretty, and, well, a bit of a distraction.

I kind of go out of my way for her when I am around her, but I am not around her often enough to go out of my way as much as I’d like. So that’s how I feel.

But, while it’s good to date within one’s faith, I dont think church is a pick-up joint either.

This is very frustrating.

How do I approach her? Or should I just forget it?

I usually just try to put it out of my mind.
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Just say hi and talk to her after mass or something… Good luck! 🙂
 
Please talk to her!

Sit closer…just say hi…and it will go from there!

I’d hate a good “Love at first sight” story being untold! If it is meant to be, then it will be!!!

Good luck!
 
Give it a try, trust in god, and just introduce yourself you never know she might be interested in you :). Just think positive, and if things don’t work out like you expected, their is a lot of other opportunities. This life is about taking opportunities when they come knocking at your door, dont be so scared & good luck 🙂
 
William777 said:
Ermmm… didnt realize the kiss part of the smiley there…

Just was going to give you some flowers… as a general rule, I never kiss on the first post - people might think I was easy or something…

:pshaw:
Click to expand...
LOL! Love it!

:rotfl:
 
Agree with everyone else. Although mass is not why people try to meet others of the opposite sex, it might be one of the best ways to begin friendships and eventual marriage. My husband and I met at church back in college. Well, we actually met each other in front of the church in college, and we didn’t start dating until two years after we met. Now, we’re married and have two kids. 🙂

I met a few very nice, Catholic men after mass or even on the streets during the week by gentlemen who attended the same mass as me when I was single. There was even one young man who once asked the pastor about me after mass. :eek: 😊 I was recently engaged, though, so the pastor informed him of that. (The pastor relayed the story to me afterwards in the sacristy.) The men usually were the ones who just started up conversation. In my situation, I think it was a little easier because they knew of me as a cantor and they almost always brought that up first, so it was an easy ice-breaker for them.

Take a chance. You never know what could happen by just breaking the ice.
 
I haven’t been “in the game” for a long time, but here’s my two cents worth:

The girl already knows you’re a faithful Catholic. She probably has figured you’re not a “masher” because you have not even approached her. She might be wondering whether you will ever approach her. Might not, but she might. Maybe she would rather you did. Maybe not.

But for sure, she won’t just be mean and ugly if you approach her, even if she’s engaged.

I wouldn’t make the approach in church itself. To me, that’s a bit unseemly. I can’t tell if she or you go early. I don’t know how late either of you stays. If it’s not a huge church with big crowds engulfing everybody, I would get out first and sit somewhere outside that’s fairly obvious. Sitting makes it obvious you’re waiting for something or someone. That bespeaks patience and earnestness, even if just a little.

When she comes out and separates from the crowd, then that’s when i would approach her, introduce myself and invite her for coffee or breakfast or whatever. (Hopefully some place nearby) Maybe there’s a parish event??? You’ll find out very quickly whether she has any interest in doing it or not.

The rest you’ll just have to figure out as you go along.
 
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