The girlfriend's parents hate me

[iluvmybabies]

I could be wrong but I don’t think ILuvMyBabies was talking about imposing sexual roles. I think she was more meaning that she thought they were a little young to be going into too much detail when discussing sex and sexuality. I agree 3 and 6 are a little young. At ten there may be come questions coming up from peers. While it is certainly too young to engage in such activities it might be appropriate to start forming a healthy view of human sexuality (which includes a whole lot more than just merely physical sexual intercourse).

As for as children and roles I agree…I see no problems with little girls playing with LEGOS:thumbsup: or little boys playing with dolls (boys grow up to be daddies too ). I’m not sure I’d encourage cross-dressing but hey there is little harm in children’s innocent imagination.

I think that is deviating from the original intent of this thread though.

Oh I don’t have any problem with my kids playing together, I loved GI Joes and Transformers, , and my daughter plays with the ninja turtles and sometimes in the background I’ll hear the boys taking my daughters dolls and playing pretending that is the sister of the power rangers or something…They are small they don’t know what it means…

But my daughter’s friends at 10 were talking around in a circle when my daughter was 9 and they started talking about sex, what the man does, and I jumped in there and was like I DONT THINK SO I told them I didn’t want them talking about such things infront of my daughter and if they wanted to continue talking to do it else where, perhaps I hurt my daughter but I explained to her that such talks are for adults and I wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of talk amongst children…

Her friends stopped talking about such things and started concentrating on their dolls…

 

[iluvmybabies]

Yeah, I didn’t think luvmy was getting at that either, I was just using it as a segue (forgive me, luvmy, was a little cheap, but not in any way meant with malice!).

Just that, well, life goes on, and works out, sometimes you just got to let it ride, was really all I meant. And if you can make that ride less likely to produce saddlesores, all the better!

Oh it’s ok don’t worry, I understood what you were trying to say but still, I mean at that age, I am sorry but I had no idea what a males reproductive organ was nor a woman’s until I was well into 16 years old…My parents tried to keep us as innocent as possible… Some of us grow up too fast and then look what happens!! We wished we were young again!! LOL

 

[kaws]

But my daughter’s friends at 10 were talking around in a circle when my daughter was 9 and they started talking about sex, what the man does, and I jumped in there and was like I DONT THINK SO I told them I didn’t want them talking about such things infront of my daughter and if they wanted to continue talking to do it else where, perhaps I hurt my daughter but I explained to her that such talks are for adults and I wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of talk amongst children…

Her friends stopped talking about such things and started concentrating on their dolls…

SHOULD ten year old children be talking about sex and things like that? NO. However children often ARE exposed to sexuality at that age. I think I was about that age when my friends started talking about stuff like that too. Some curiosity about the opposite sex and the biology of sex is normal. They will probably talk about stuff like that when you are not around.

I guess my opinion would be to approach the topic earlier (otherwise she will be getting info from the media or from friends which is probably not so great) and to help form a view that sex and sexuality are not dirty and wrong, but that God has a very specific intention of sex and sexuality as a very good and holy part of his creation.

Of course you are the parent and need to handle the situation as you see proper and fit, and I would not question your judgment as to what is best for your daughter in this case.

 

[petitfleur]

Whether the parents are right or wrong on thier thinking isnt going to change anything. Most people stated that they would object to thier daughter dateing a boy who worked in an adult shop.We told you why-you can accept it or not but like I said it wont change-you probly wont win over her parents. Your just gonna have to accept that. I dont relate to thier objections to your background or thier poor treatment to you though I suspect there is more to the story.
If your girlfriend doesnt object then whats the big deal?

 

[iluvmybabies]

SHOULD ten year old children be talking about sex and things like that? NO. However children often ARE exposed to sexuality at that age. I think I was about that age when my friends started talking about stuff like that too. Some curiosity about the opposite sex and the biology of sex is normal. They will probably talk about stuff like that when you are not around.

I guess my opinion would be to approach the topic earlier (otherwise she will be getting info from the media or from friends which is probably not so great) and to help form a view that sex and sexuality are not dirty and wrong, but that God has a very specific intention of sex and sexuality as a very good and holy part of his creation.

Of course you are the parent and need to handle the situation as you see proper and fit, and I would not question your judgment as to what is best for your daughter in this case.

Actually the little girls my daughter’s friends hung around were wayyyyyy too old to hang around with 10 year olds…AND have had sex…over and over…

In either case, I am not willing to destroy my daughter’s innocence with sex until I know she’s mature enough to handle it…Right now she’s too young and the thoughts would probably turn into more curiosity until she found out what sex was and I am not willing to take my daughter to a GYN at age 11 or 12…I understand what you are saying, and yes you are right sex is not dirty nor bad, but it is when kids are saying “here’s a condom go do him!!”

While I can I will continue teaching as much as possible about hubbys and wives and the sacrament of marriage and children as a blessing from GOD then when sex ed starts kicking in, in 6th grade I will start talking to her about what GOD teaches about sex and marriage…

Hopefully I will help her understand things a little better and her curiosity won’t go further than that…

I will teach her as best as possible and those little girls don’t come around any more…Sorry but that’s just not right…at least not to me it’s not…

They will learn about sex in time, of course and the fact that GOD allows us to enjoy it with our husband’s as a means of procreation and a gift of uniting 2 souls as one…

UNTIL then, I will continue keeping things as innocent as possible…

 

[iluvmybabies]

Whether the parents are right or wrong on thier thinking isnt going to change anything. Most people stated that they would object to thier daughter dateing a boy who worked in an adult shop.We told you why-you can accept it or not but like I said it wont change-you probly wont win over her parents. Your just gonna have to accept that. I dont relate to thier objections to your background or thier poor treatment to you though I suspect there is more to the story.
If your girlfriend doesnt object then whats the big deal?

Exactly, parents will always have their opinions…And yes, it won’t change much…

And I too agree that there has to be more to it…BUT if he’s able to communicate to her parents and show them, actions speak louder than words, that his intentions and feelings are good and true, who knows maybe things might work out…

 

[Nepenthe]

Heh yeah, I figured it out REAL fast myself! But I kept it careful, since I knew the burden sat square on my admittedly strong shoulders, since I got the bits i got.

I had a rough childhood, to say the least - abuse, neglect, you name it…but the neglect was, to my way of thinking, a plus. My closest friends were pretty much outsiders too when I was in grade school…my best friend was a dirt-welfare poor boy maned Kelly, with long blonde hair, who was also tough as nails too and could tear anyone apart in football or soccer, no matter how pretty he was…we often got chosen as teams as " you two guys" or “you two girls” and we didn’t give a rip), and Ngan (her family were Vietnamese refugees, and i have never seen a faster runner or more bravado in my life - I was close, but she was amazing! Oh, and Daniela Aguilar, and Jenny Dasho, a genuine descendant of the Assyrians. We were an odd lot, but over time, we gained respect, first from the adults, and then from the other kids, because we were a helluva team. Brains, brawn, multilingual and adaptive and independent far beyond our years.

Being young is hard, but it has a great share of glory to it, and it is for every child to find it themselves too, not only by parental/authoritarian guidance. I took a LOT of abuse from that community for being Californian and secular, but I could think circles around most of those kids, and had excellent wildcraft/stealth skill too, so I got along the hard way, and it made me strong.

The abuse at home though…that wasn’t good, and it kept me away from home, often until 3am when I could be sure my family was asleep/out cold. But that taught me too…to never be that way, and to be warm and loving to all, no matter what.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Heh yeah, I figured it out REAL fast myself! But I kept it careful, since I knew the burden sat square on my admittedly strong shoulders, since I got the bits i got.

I had a rough childhood, to say the least - abuse, neglect, you name it…but the neglect was, to my way of thinking, a plus. My closest friends were pretty much outsiders too when I was in grade school…my best friend was a dirt-welfare poor boy maned Kelly, with long blonde hair, who was also tough as nails too and could tear anyone apart in football or soccer, no matter how pretty he was…we often got chosen as teams as " you two guys" or “you two girls” and we didn’t give a rip), and Ngan (her family were Vietnamese refugees, and i have never seen a faster runner or more bravado in my life - I was close, but she was amazing! Oh, and Daniela Aguilar, and Jenny Dasho, a genuine descendant of the Assyrians. We were an odd lot, but over time, we gained respect, first from the adults, and then from the other kids, because we were a helluva team. Brains, brawn, multilingual and adaptive and independent far beyond our years.

Being young is hard, but it has a great share of glory to it, and it is for every child to find it themselves too, not only by parental/authoritarian guidance. I took a LOT of abuse from that community for being Californian and secular, but I could think circles around most of those kids, and had excellent wildcraft/stealth skill too, so I got along the hard way, and it made me strong.

The abuse at home though…that wasn’t good, and it kept me away from home, often until 3am when I could be sure my family was asleep/out cold. But that taught me too…to never be that way, and to be warm and loving to all, no matter what.

I am sorry you had to endure so much! I too taught myself that as well, never to be rude, or hurtful or like the way my mother was and my father was…At least the negative parts… lol…But I tell you that thanks to their mistakes I try to be a better person and thanks to my mistakes I am trying to be even better than that!

You seem like you have a good head and heart…God bless!

 

[DocSoos]

To the OP, don’t worry so much. After 17 years of marriage my mother in-law still hates me.

 

[Nepenthe]

And bless you too! I seem to have been born without the Faith organ, but hey, I’m Irish, and saying ‘bless you’ just comes natural.

Always makes Mirdath laugh when I say that when someone sneezes, as well as my heathenish tossing of spilt salt over my shoulder and whatnot. Popeye would just say ‘I yam what i yam!’

You too have a fine heart and head, and that is truly the crowning glory of humanity, no faith or those with no religion can deny that, so long as we use them to our best!

 

[Nepenthe]

Hey dude,hope you haven’t let the hardbuttsive you toomuch of all their fearful floof! How’sit hanging,mate,and really,this is a friendly place,a few cranks notwithstanding,

Just wanna hear from you, since you seem a decent man, and a fine prospect for marriage when the time comes, to me. Hold in there, buckaroo,and don’t let the fear stop you. It’s always scary, but you are clearly brave,and she sounds ready to find her bravery too!