"The Homosexual's Search for Happiness"

[lovethetruth]

(Just sharing some information from a catholic psychiatrist whose work on Affirmation together with Dr. Anna Terruwe are “a gift to the church” by Pope Paul VI, Feeling and Healing your Emotions, Conrad W. Baars, M.D. pg. 282)

The Homosexual’s Search for Happiness:
Compassionate look at homosexuality and the need for authentic affirmation in one’s life. Includes pastoral guidelines. Pamphlet—34 pages.

Baars, Conrad W. *The Homosexual’s Search for Happiness. *Chicago, Ill: Franciscan Press, 1976.
conradbaars.com/Baars-books.htm#Search
"In The Homosexual’s Search for Happiness, Dr. Baars opens by stating that he does not believe homosexuality is “a mental condition,” but sees it rather as a "manifestation or a symptom, rather than a condition or state, that may exist. . . . These symptoms are not the result of an intrapsychic process of repression of emotions which began in childhood, but rather an environmental deprivation or frustration in early life of the fundamental psychic need to be loved for one’s unique self. . . .

“He was not made to know and feel his own goodness, worth, and identity. He has been thrown back upon himself by denial on the part of significant others in his life. He is like a prisoner, locked in, lonely, self-centered, waiting for someone to come and open the door of his prison, waiting to be opened to his own goodness and that of others. No measure of success in business, profession, or whatever can compensate adequately for his feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, uncertainty, and insecurity.”

Throughout this work, Dr. Baars makes no distinction between the emotionally stunted homosexual “cruiser” and the heterosexual — married or unmarried — adulterer or fornicator. Both have a compelling need to love and be loved, but their pursuit of sexual pleasure only leads to greater frustrations.

The book ends with ten practical guidelines for parents, friends, psychiatrists, priest-confessors, and others who genuinely want to help homosexuals, in their role as “affirming healers . . . in the resolution of the sexual compulsion and the maturing process of the homosexual and heterosexual promiscuous person.”

Dr. Baars was known as the “doctor of the heart,” and the question that should certainly be foremost in the minds of many Catholics is how much less healing would millions of Catholics need today if his prescriptions for curing maladies in the priesthood were heeded by the bishops he addressed more than 30 years ago."

thewandererpress.com/a4-10-03.htm

One good place for good information is www.narth.com

 

[AlanFromWichita]

That is interesting.

I’ve asserted for some time that homosexuality can probably be tempting because you don’t have to learn to deal with someone less like yourself than another of the same sex.

In other words, the diversity involved in a heterosexual relationship requires effort and/or causes pain and the homosexual doesn’t have to deal with it – that particular pain, anyway.

In other words, I challenge the notion that being gay-friendly equates to being “diverse” because I see it as avoiding diversity rather than embracing it. How diverse are two left shoes, when a pair comes in left and right? In my book, two people of the same sex do NOT represent sexual diversity, only perversion.

I admit the reason I was most drawn to read this thread is when I read the title I thought of the name of the song, “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.” :bigyikes:

Alan

 

[Scout]

Actually, a gay couple has many of the same struggles that straight couples have to deal with. One can’t say that they have less struggles because they’re the same sex. A relationship has difficulties because two different people are involved, whether the relationship consists of a male and female, two males or two females.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[The_Angelus]

My best friend recently came out of the closet as bisexual, transsexual, or whatever they call it. Frankly, it breaks my heart, but live and learn… at least the former “she” (don’t know which pronoun to use now) doesn’t hit on me.

I don’t know about the psychological reasons for being gay, other than that it’s a perversion of the natural order. But I think that Dr. Baars it at least wrong about maladies in the priesthood. The way to be holy is to resist temptation, not to give in and then psychoanalyze it.

 

[lovethetruth]

Just to clarify in this thread I started with sharing information. This is coming from the expert, the late Dr. Conrad Baars. He is quite qualified to say what he says based on much clinical work in working with individuals with homosexual inclinations and the same word used to classify “perversion” on those with same-sex attraction would also classify “perversion” to heterosexuals and their “so-called” deviant behavior which is sex within marriage and no birth control or masturbation or withdrawl or anything that is against church teaching. Always. Even condoms might as well be perversion. As again, Dr. Baars
“makes no distinction between the emotionally stunted homosexual “cruiser” and the heterosexual — married or unmarried — adulterer or fornicator. Both have a compelling need to love and be loved, but their pursuit of sexual pleasure only leads to greater frustrations.”

I think we’ve picked on the person who has homosexual tendencies and it’s time to be seen in the light that the behavior is the same as the heterosexual who behaves this way. Just goes for the woman instead and uses her too, or goes for the man and uses him too. And if you really wanted to be informed and not make false assumptions you’d read that those who label themselves as homosexuals usually have a history to tell about home life, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters and those of the opposite sex who may have come into play which didn’t exactly help along the process of helping a child or person like and know what it was to be a woman or girl, or what it was to be a man or boy. I always say before anyone starts pointing fingers, they shoudl know what it’s all about and then really assess what is going on. Those who say they have attraction to those of the same sex have a story to tell and if you are really a christian catholic you would love them unconditonally and that means watching how you speak. Because God will indeed speak to you one day too.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

've asserted for some time that homosexuality can probably be tempting because you don’t have to learn to deal with someone less like yourself than another of the same sex.

In other words, the diversity involved in a heterosexual relationship requires effort and/or causes pain and the homosexual doesn’t have to deal with it – that particular pain, anyway.

Ridiculous. In most cases, people who are SSA don’t identify with masculinity, so how in the world will being with another man force them to “deal with someone less like yourself.” As a person with SSA, I can tell you that I identify more with women than with men (I am a man). To me, men are a complete mystery. I don’t know what it is like, at the core, to be a man. I don’t get it, I don’t “feel” it, where it counts.

Yes, I intellectually know that I am objectively a man. One look in the mirror at my facial hair or down at my hairy chest is enough to tell me that. But, like our faith, it’s not just a mind thing, it has sink down into your innermost being or it’s just not a reality for you.

For most heterosexuals, this gender identification happened automatically…so automatically that you don’t even know it was happening. It just DID. In my case, it didn’t.

And the part about the need for love…dead spot on!

 

[lovethetruth]

“But I think that Dr. Baars it at least wrong about maladies in the priesthood. The way to be holy is to resist temptation, not to give in and then psychoanalyze it.”

No Dr. Baars is not wrong about those in the priesthood. In fact by his writings and his work, it is not just the priests, it is everyone. Including you and me who can be psychoanalyzed. Again, if you read his material like the Pope did, then maybe you could be open to truth and not lies. The devil is the father of lies. Who is your Father? God, Jesus, the Way, the Truth, and the Life is my God. My Father in heaven. I hope to make it there one day.

"In this document, Dr. Baars warned Church leaders that there was, indeed, a crisis in the priesthood which reflected a larger crisis in society brought on by the psychological traumatization of children, for various reasons, that inhibits them from becoming emotionally mature."

"What priests, as well as countless souls in the larger society are suffering from, he claimed, are neuroses which result from an undeveloped or partly developed emotional life.
This endemic “frustration neurosis” said Baars, has a variety of causes:

• the educational system “tends to stimulate fear and energy much more than the emotions of love, desire, and joy which are aroused more by the stimulation of the senses and imagination.”

• “faster transportation and instant communication . . . threaten man’s sense of security and belonging which once were inherent in a relatively small and stable community.”

• “unstable family life as the result of working parents, corporation-induced changes of location, and the rise in the divorce rate . . . enhance anxiety.”

• “the all-too-busy modern man tends to reduce all his contacts to business-like, matter-of-fact encounters which do little to stimulate lasting friendships and the joy of love.”

• “[there is] unparalleled scientific progress without a concomitant growth of man’s philosophical and religious sense. . . . The idea of surrendering himself to God is not likely to occur in a ‘God is dead’ society.”

The emotional dysfunction of modern man, Baars continued, manifests itself in various ways, especially in the loneliness that drives countless people to self-destructive behaviors and, eventually suicide. At the time he wrote his paper in 1971, suicide was already the second leading cause of death for young people ages 5 to 13 in 48 countries, according to the World Medical Association.

Then, turning to the problem of emotional immaturity in priests, he observed — based on his practice of treating many priests — that most came from “fine Catholic homes” that tended to be strict but lacking in “emotional love. Spurred on to develop his character, train his will, and grow intellectually, his emotional growth lags behind.” Many times pushed into the priesthood to please an emotionally distant parent, or seeking the priesthood to escape other psychological problems, these “non-affirmed men” found comfort in inappropriate behaviors. Many, he said, left the priesthood to marry to solve their problems; but marriage didn’t solve anything.

“Our clinical observations over many years,” Baars continued, “have convinced us that priests in general — and some to an extreme degree — possess an insufficiently developed or distorted emotional life, while at the same time they must be considered to belong to a group of men whom nature has endowed with superior intelligence and sensitivity.”

After describing the psychological problems associated with the distorted emotional life, Baars observed:

“These findings also explain why the Church as a whole finds herself in a crisis. Because of the priest’s special position as mediator between God and man, the effects of his non-affirmation on other people will be far more radical and widespread than in the case of the non-affirmed single or married layman. A priest without identity, without a firm sense of self-worth, cannot reveal to others their personal worth. Because he cannot affirm, he cannot love others in a way which strengthens both them and the Church.”

thewandererpress.com/a4-10-03.htm

With all our problems we have in our church and we do have them, in society as a whole around the world, I think
God tends to use whomever He wishes to come and help us out. It should be seen as a help from God not something distorted as a lie, this work and pioneer work of Dr. Baars. And pride is from the devil.

 

[Bobby_A.Greene]

Actually ‘Gay’ is an ironic euphemism when applied to the homosexual.

The homosexual’s search for happiness has usually been found in alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, homicide, self-abuse, child-molestation, and other frequent anti-social behaviours.

Here are two examples of homosexuals:

geocities.com/verbal_plainfield/a-h/gacy.html

geocities.com/verbal_plainfield/a-h/dahmer.html

Homosexuals are just not well adjusted happy people and they are definately not ‘Gay’.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

Bobby A. Greene:

Actually ‘Gay’ is an ironic euphemism when applied to the homosexual.

The homosexual’s search for happiness has usually been found in alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, homicide, self-abuse, child-molestation, and other frequent anti-social behaviours.

Here are two examples of homosexuals:

geocities.com/verbal_plainfield/a-h/gacy.html

geocities.com/verbal_plainfield/a-h/dahmer.html

Homosexuals are just not well adjusted happy people and they are definately not ‘Gay’.

Do you TRY to be offensive or does it just come naturally?

Not everyone who is same-sex attracted self-identifies as “gay” and not everyone who is same-sex attracted does these things that you claim we do.

Some of us actually try to live according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. You might want to look that up. Check out CCC 2357-2359 and get an education.

 

[Bobby_A.Greene]

Some of us actually try to live according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. You might want to look that up. Check out CCC 2357-2359 and get an education.

Yes, I am familiar with the Catechism of the Catholic Church, especially since it uses the term Homosexual and not the euphemism Same Sex Attraction.

Also CCC 2358 states “Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” But nothing about ‘just discrimination’, but since I have never discriminated against any homosexual or heterosexual in my life I shall carry on as usual.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

Yes, I am familiar with the Catechism of the Catholic Church, especially since it uses the term Homosexual and not the euphemism Same Sex Attraction.

Yes, the Catechism does use the term homosexual…as an ADJECTIVE (a word that describes a noun), not a noun (a person, place, thing or idea). The Church talks about homosexual persons, not homosexuals.

Same-Sex Attraction is another way of saying homosexuality (which IS a noun as it is an idea). It’s generally used by people within the Church who are struggling with this issue. It’s much more descriptive and doesn’t have many of the implications (like the ones you posited earlier about most homosexual persons being drunk, drug addicted, child-molesting murderers who abuse themselves and eventually commit suicide, etc.) that the term homosexual does.

Just to be clear.

 

[MariaGorettiGrl]

Also CCC 2358 states “Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” But nothing about ‘just discrimination’,

I’d have to argue that there can be no such thing as “just discrimination”. To discriminate is to “mark the distinguishing features of” and in our culture is always used to mark the features we have deemed “unacceptable”. This becomes judging someone’s value, which Catholics should not be doing. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Granted, to pursue homosexual feelings, whatever they may stem from, is a sin. But I know of no “straight” person who has the right to cast the first stone. Because it is a political hot topic right now, homosexuality has been thrown into the spotlight. I find myself very fortunate that my sins have not been thrown into the public arena like that.

The bottom line is that we’re all miserable sinners. None of us have any right to say that a homosexual person’s sins are worse than our own. I believe that’s God’s domain, to judge how serious each of our sins are. Despite our sins, God still loves EVERY LAST ONE of us and told us to do the same, with no provisions for people we think it would be “just” to discriminate against (whether or not you ever openly have).

 

[LCMS_No_More]

MariaGorettiGirl

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

VERY well said! Thank you!

 

[amateurthomist]

MariaGorettiGrl:

I’d have to argue that there can be no such thing as “just discrimination”. To discriminate is to “mark the distinguishing features of” and in our culture is always used to mark the features we have deemed “unacceptable”. This becomes judging someone’s value, which Catholics should not be doing. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Granted, to pursue homosexual feelings, whatever they may stem from, is a sin. But I know of no “straight” person who has the right to cast the first stone. Because it is a political hot topic right now, homosexuality has been thrown into the spotlight. I find myself very fortunate that my sins have not been thrown into the public arena like that.

The bottom line is that we’re all miserable sinners. None of us have any right to say that a homosexual person’s sins are worse than our own. I believe that’s God’s domain, to judge how serious each of our sins are. Despite our sins, God still loves EVERY LAST ONE of us and told us to do the same, with no provisions for people we think it would be “just” to discriminate against (whether or not you ever openly have).

In essence I agree. I would just make one distinction. It is possible to specify which sins are objectively graver than other sins. If it were not possible, then we could not specify mortal and venial sins. That being said, we cannot judge the precise spiritual state of any soul, not even our own, and so we must always pray, “Lord be merciful to me, the greatest of all sinners.”

 

[lovethetruth]

Indeed I agree this is to be found within some who label themselves homosexual, some of them, not all of them. But truthfully, it all comes down to some problem that affects a large portion of society and that is what Dr. Baars talks about. Which is why you see these very same things,
"alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, homicide, self-abuse, child-molestation, and other frequent anti-social behaviours" within the heterosexual population. You cannot deny that.

Same-sex-attraction is the opposite of opposite-sex-attraction. It is describing how a person is sexually oriented. Which is the difference between the person who labels themselves as homosexual and as heterosexual. The psychologist Dr. Nicolosi, from www.narth.com (I received a talk from this speaker from Steve Wood, from Carpenter Shop on EWTN from www.dads.org ) who has worked with many children with Gender Identity Disorder (GID) or with adults who label themselvs as homosexuals says there no such thing as a homosexual, rather all people are heterosexual, they just have a homosexual problem. Because they are all born with guy parts if they are a guy and girl parts if they are a girl. And the exceptions are rare and are abnormal, but the hormones are there to kick in the right orientation.

 

[lovethetruth]

I ask myself why are Christians or rather, Catholics because I am Catholic myself and am around Catholics more than other Christian Denominations, why do they/we hurt our cause of helping out the Kingdom of Christ by bringing those to His Love, when we act like this with such words as this. I just would like to say would you like to be talked to like this and then say Yeah, count me in as one who loves his fellow men and I’ll come to worship with you with the God you talk about who loves and wishes only the best for us all. Christ didn’t talk like this to Mary Magdalene. He did tell her not to sin anymore, but never told her what a pervert she was or sick or any kind of name-calling there is going on here by those who call themselves Catholics. Or are you Catholics? Cause your’re giving us a bad name! I have to say when we act like this yes we are a bunch of hypocrites and I wonder if Christ wants to be associated with us. What about in the afterlife? Yes I agree some behaviors that you hear about a homosexual lifestyle is awful, but so is the behavior of a sinner who went and murdered someone yet you don’t bring up the sin to him while he is trying to come to Christ. Why do you treat that sinner one way and the other another?

 

[Scout]

lovethetruth:

I ask myself why are Christians or rather, Catholics because I am Catholic myself and am around Catholics more than other Christian Denominations, why do they/we hurt our cause of helping out the Kingdom of Christ by bringing those to His Love, when we act like this with such words as this. I just would like to say would you like to be talked to like this and then say Yeah, count me in as one who loves his fellow men and I’ll come to worship with you with the God you talk about who loves and wishes only the best for us all. Christ didn’t talk like this to Mary Magdalene. He did tell her not to sin anymore, but never told her what a pervert she was or sick or any kind of name-calling there is going on here by those who call themselves Catholics. Or are you Catholics? Cause your’re giving us a bad name! I have to say when we act like this yes we are a bunch of hypocrites and I wonder if Christ wants to be associated with us. What about in the afterlife? Yes I agree some behaviors that you hear about a homosexual lifestyle is awful, but so is the behavior of a sinner who went and murdered someone yet you don’t bring up the sin to him while he is trying to come to Christ. Why do you treat that sinner one way and the other another?

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Scout :tiphat:

 

[LCMS_No_More]

lovethetruth:

I ask myself why are Christians or rather, Catholics because I am Catholic myself and am around Catholics more than other Christian Denominations, why do they/we hurt our cause of helping out the Kingdom of Christ by bringing those to His Love, when we act like this with such words as this. I just would like to say would you like to be talked to like this and then say Yeah, count me in as one who loves his fellow men and I’ll come to worship with you with the God you talk about who loves and wishes only the best for us all. Christ didn’t talk like this to Mary Magdalene. He did tell her not to sin anymore, but never told her what a pervert she was or sick or any kind of name-calling there is going on here by those who call themselves Catholics. Or are you Catholics? Cause your’re giving us a bad name! I have to say when we act like this yes we are a bunch of hypocrites and I wonder if Christ wants to be associated with us. What about in the afterlife? Yes I agree some behaviors that you hear about a homosexual lifestyle is awful, but so is the behavior of a sinner who went and murdered someone yet you don’t bring up the sin to him while he is trying to come to Christ. Why do you treat that sinner one way and the other another?

AMEN!

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

 

[Ruthie]

The english language can be frustrating and illogical.

I like the term “same sex attraction” for two reasons.

First, it does not contain any implication as to sexual activity. Unfortunately, the word “homosexual,” especially when made into the noun “homosexuality,” does contain the implication of being sexually active.

I think this implication is what makes some otherwise kindly people sound like they think all homosexuals are sinners!

I learned the term SSA here, and will continue to use it.

And that’s the other reason I like it. A convenient acronym!

 

[Bobby_A.Greene]

And that’s the other reason I like it. A convenient acronym!

Or a politically correct euphemism.