nfpworks:
So, as promoters, we find ourselves trying to “sell” NFP. And, it’s not an easy sell! It’s very difficult to get across to a group of people who are planning a wedding, a marriage that everything they know or have heard is false. And, although their wedding may be a month or 2 months away, we want them to trust God and throw away their ABC.
“Throw away” is a key phrase here. Most engaged couples - Catholic or otherwise - are already fornicating and contracepting.
The NFP materials I’ve seen reflect this, when they say things like, “Engagement is an ideal time to start finding non-sexual ways to express your love.” They encourage couples to abstain for the last few months before marriage, because it makes it easier to learn the signs of fertility. But they don’t seem to emphasize the
big reason to abstain before marriage - namely, that it’s a commandment of God, in front of whom they’re about to pronounce their wedding vows.
Looking at it that way, it seems like the answer isn’t just to have more emphasis on “NFP vs. contraception.” We also need to hear more about
chastity, plain and simple. If couples can get a glimpse of the beauty of the Church’s teachings on premarital chastity (e.g. following God’s plan for our bodies, respecting others, using self-control), then they’re more likely to understand how this extends to the married state. Otherwise, “marital chastity” seems like an oxymoron, and the Church’s teachings seem like a bunch of arbitrary rules.
Of course, teaching “Chastity 101” shouldn’t have to be the job of NFP instructors, or even marriage preparation leaders. That’s how it is for now, though, since the ones who should have been teaching it earlier on (parents, catechists, priests) have usually been falling down on the job. The challenge is to find ways to point couples toward the fullness of the truth, even while meeting them “where they are,” and not scaring them away. I guess, in that sense, it’s like any kind of evangelization.
