The Latest "Tradition": Stand & Greet Your Neighbors

[ProVobis]

Church would be so much nicer if it weren’t for all those darn happy people.

Yeh, it’s like going from one block party to another. Don’t people ever tire of block parties?

The Church is all about community. The Mass is our communal form of worship. Right?

Right, but there is a difference between community worship and community service.

But, as they say, it all comes with the territory.

 

[clem456]

I’m not kidding. We have a thriving Hispanic community at the parish where I work , and the anglos could learn a great deal about piety from them.

Didn’t say they were impious.
Your experience with the Hispanic community is entirely different than mine evidently. Before Mass there is a lot of conversation among families etc…Mass is not conducted on a rigid time schedule like the Euro centered culture does it. It comes together out of the gathering.

Mass properly begins with the priest’s greeting. No need to re-write what the Church has provided.

Who suggested a re-writing? Note, this greeting is before the Mass begins, before the opening hymn even, so it does not distract from the Mass. It’s got nothing to do with rubrics. At least at our parish that’s the way it works.

It is a gimmick. Originating from seminars where people suggest these things for stewardship as a way of getting more parishioners, getting more tithes, getting more volunteers, etc. They do it, along with “our parish prayer” etc. because people from other faiths have brought these “traditions” with them. Same with the end of Mass "who is having a birthday? Do we have any visitors? Anyone celebrating a milestone? …before the final Blessing. It’s all “extra” and not necessary.

Ok I get a little cynicism. This might be a gimmick at some parish. But this is not a gimmick at our parish.

Because as I said, many, like the people here accuse you of being “unfriendly”…because you just want to worship.
There’s LOTS of opportunity to look people in the eye…when you volunteer, when you teach, when you visit the elderly and informed, when you work the food pantry, when you are a lector, when you are an EMHC, …lots of opportunities. The Church is all about community. The Mass is our communal form of worship. Right? Don’t we gather at the table? Don’t we sing together? Don’t we say the Creed together?

So don’t do it.
Why can’t you simply abstain?

 

[christofirst]

We’ve been going to Mass at the same time, at the same parish, for nearly 20 years now. A lot of my fellow parishioners have done likewise, so we all recognize each other, for the most part. We all acknowledge each other whether our pastor tells us to or not, usually with a simple wave or a head nod. We’ve outlasted several pastors now. The first few did not do the “meet and greet” before Mass, but our current pastor does. It really does not bother me, either way. Typically before Mass, the musicians have already been warming up for 15 minutes, so no one is praying anyway (unless they’re deaf or have remarkable powers of concentration).

 

[SMH_2015]

Some parishes do it, some parishes don’t.

Frankly, I’m tired of cold-fish Catholics who think that saying hello is asking too much of them.

If you find it sooooooooo difficult to smile at your neighbor then wait outside until the priest starts processing up the aisle and quickly slip into a back pew. Sit by yourself, keep your head down, don’t acknowledge anyone, and wallow in your aloneness.

Thanks you Suscipe. It’s amazing how many Catholics can be so irritated by such a small thing.

 

[OraLabora]

I think God exhorts us to leave our comfort zones. Even introverts like me. The Rule is St. Benedict says that monks should greet all visitors to the monastery as if Christ Himself were the visitor; which He is, as He dwells in each of us, including those who do not recognize Him.

As a Benedictine oblate, I am to lead a life inspired by the Rule. I don’t live in a monastery, but I have a “cloister” in my heart. I therefore need to apply the Rule by letting strangers into my heart. Yes it is very difficult some times. Sometimes the stranger him/herself is the obstacle; in that case we forgive them but let them in anyway, through prayer for them. Other times it’s my own heart of stone that’s guilty. For those times I heartily ask that you pray for me.

I too find it hard to believe that with all of the Holy Fathers’s exhortations to visit the margins and living by example we find it hard to offer a simple greeting or handshake. For an introvert like me the margins start with the stranger next to me or the pew in front or behind. Yes it is a cringe moment for me. But I feel I have to make the effort to be true to my Christian mission. That stranger might be a non Catholic searching for answers. What if I turn the person away by being boorish? I believe I’d be called to account for it on judgement day. Evangelizing isn’t about apologetics or proselytizing. I’ve seen Down’s Syndrome folks do a way better job of evangelizing than me… simply through their sincere and genuine hospitality to strangers. Evangelizing simply means living true to the free gift of Grace we have received.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I just read this blog post from Jerry Gallipeau (full text here: gottasinggottapray.blogspot.com/2015/11/intentional-hospitality-right-behind-me.html) and was reminded of this thread.

He says:

First of all, you need to know that as Mass begins every week, we are all invited to stand and introduce ourselves to those around us. I don’t usually attend the 11:15 A.M. Mass; I usually go to an earlier Mass. So, when I stood up, I introduced myself to Lois on my right and to Mary Ellen behind me, among others. I remembered these two names, so when the time came to exchange the sign of peace, I used their names. After the closing song, Mary Ellen, seated in the row behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was a parishioner at Old Saint Pat’s. I told her I had joined the parish several months ago. She said, “Well I haven’t seen you here before and I just wanted to welcome you.” I told her I usually go to the 9:30 A.M. Mass and then she said how happy she was that I was a parishioner. I told her to have a great week and she did the same.

If you were looking for a new parish home…might this be the one?
If you were a non-Catholic interested in exploring the Church…might this be the place?
If you were feeling a little lonely on Sunday morning…might this be the cure?

Or maybe you prefer the idea of a small church getting smaller. No need to meet and greet if the next person is three pews away.

I wouldn’t pick a parish based on whether or not they greet each other before Mass, but really, is it so bad to recognize Christ in each other before we come together to worship?

OraLabora, thanks for a lovely posting.

 

[on_the_hill]

For what it’s worth, the “coldness” of Catholics can really be a problem for people. I have people in RCIA who struggle with the lack of fellowship. They become Catholic for various reasons, but it is not for the welcoming community they find.

Which is one of the reasons many people never darken the door of the Catholic Church twice. Many of our parishes are cold and impersonal, as if the sacraments take the place of Christ the person.

When our parish first started doing it about 15 years ago, I HATED it. I wanted to arrive late to avoid it. And in theory, I still don’t really like it, if I think about it.

However. After a bit I realized that the greetings in our parish are sincere. People really do want to say hello and be friendly. And many of the people in our parish “aren’t from around here.” “Around here” people can be downright standoffish. So it is nice to be someplace where people are sincerely friendly.

As for cold parishes–gotta say: if I grew up in my in-laws’ church, I’d probably have quit Catholicism. They won’t shake hands even at the Sign of Peace. You get not much more than a solemn nod. They don’t like all these modern gimmicks.

 

[ProVobis]

However. After a bit I realized that the greetings in our parish are sincere. People really do want to say hello and be friendly. And many of the people in our parish “aren’t from around here.” “Around here” people can be downright standoffish. So it is nice to be someplace where people are sincerely friendly.

I could see that happening. But not if this greeting has to be prompted from the priest or reader. OTOH, the sacredness of the place has to be respected. It is not our job to banalize and desacralize the liturgy. (These were Cardinal Arinze’s words, probably more directed to the priest.)

 

[pianistclare]

I could see that happening. But not if this greeting has to be prompted from the priest or reader. OTOH, the sacredness of the place has to be respected. It is not our job to banalize and desacralize the liturgy. (These were Cardinal Arinze’s words, probably more directed to the priest.)

Well, I’m no rad trad…far from it. but I agree.
A person CAN resist, not partake, as people advise…but you incur the wrath of those who like this sort of thing. Which is quite obvious here.
Our parish is really friendly, really sincere, really welcoming. But we also don’t spend a lot of time in prayer. We just don’t. After communion, it’s a hurry to announcements, birthdays, visitors, milestones, all kinds of merriment. I know people think it’s cool and harmless…but it bothers me, yes. It does. Could I just get 2 or 3 minutes of reflection post communion? Without being made to feel like I’m some sort of old fogey? Or after Mass? Forget it. The din from the inside the sanctuary and the narthex precludes any personal prayer.
Sad when daily Mass is so much more prayerful than the Sunday Mass.
And no, I don’t dig Latin, and no I don’t find the music appalling.

We teach the kids to behave…but we can’t control ourselves or focus for 45 minutes.

It’s not a comfort zone thing. People say I’m the friendliest person they ever met.
I just want to go to Mass and pray. Is that now odd in America? Praying together is fine…but please don’t pry my folded hands apart because you want to hold hands across the aisle. I’m not making you kneel…

 

[ProVobis]

And no, I don’t dig Latin, and no I don’t find the music appalling.

Well, “Salve” to you too.

I wonder if they’d find my Polish greeting friendly.