M
mommamaree
Guest
Conjugal chastity means that the married couple DO engage in sexual relations, with reverence for the power and the holiness of the action. Continence within marriage is the phrase which refers to abstaining from sexual relations. We are all called to chastity, each according to one’s state in life. However, conjugal chastity can and does include joy and gratitude for the sublime pleasure of the marital act. We are NOT encouraged to minimize pleasure. The pleasure is a good thing, and orgasms are good. We should not reject God’s gift of pleasure in the marital act. Christians who enjoy and seek that pleasure are NOT hedonistic.Times have thankfully changed in the Catholic Church, and IME the church of 2014 actively encourages marital love between couples. In fact, it goes so far as to celebrate it. So I am not sure why you are bringing up the idea of chastity within a marriage! Perhaps you and your husband have not engaged in oral sex (which is obviously your choice, and perfectly fine), but it is not right for you to deride couples that do. Particularly since some women cannot experience sexual pleasure from intercourse alone.
I also strongly disagree with your statement that sex is not a marital duty. It absolutely is, and I personally am saddended to see all the men here who are suffering due to their wife’s sexual issues. My doctor told me to abstain for a month recently to see if it would help my health issues. It didn’t, so we resumed normal relations. However, there is absolutely no way I would ever refrain from sexual activity on a long term basis without doing everything I could to fix the issue. I would see doctors, psychologists, therapists - whatever it took in order to fix my issues. So I cannot believe these people who just let their spouses suffer, particularly since the Catholic Church does not believe in divorce (neither do I!).
I basically feel that it is cruel and heartless to deny your spouse sexual relations. It is also contrary to God’s laws on marriage. Chastity has no place in a marriage whatsoever, aside from for NFP reasons.
And you are absolutely correct. There is such a thing as marital duty. Each spouse has the responsibility to engage in marital relations. The focus of each spouse to love and please the other, and to allow their spouse to love and please them in return, is the best way to see that both enjoy it and no one is used as an object or neglected.