The most damaging innovation to Catholic parishes in the last 50 years...

[JReducation]

I must say, that’s a pretty ridiculous statement.

Perhaps the word “white” was ill chosen, but if he meant that generally the heresy of modernism is one that has infected western civilization more than other parts of the world, then he is at least somewhat correct. However, it was only a head start. It is catching up in the rest of the world.

Actually, it’s not ridiculous at all. I would not use the word “white” or caucasian, as there are caucasian people in Latin America and other parts of the world. Nor would I use Modernism. We need to get away from blaming everything on Modernism. It’s becoming a cliche.

I like the term that Bl. John Paul once used to describe certain attitudes and behaviors of American Catholics. He called it “the Great American Heresy”.

He was referring to the fact that we have been blessed to live in a free society and instead of using our freedom for good, we use it to satisfy ourselves. In other words, it was his feeling that we were too self-absorbed and took ourselves and our needs too seriously, when in fact, compared to the rest of the world, we were doing pretty well. Yet, despite our blessings, we have little tolerance for discomfort, whereas other cultures with less blessings have a greater tolerance.

There is great truth to this. We do have a low pain tolerance. Inconveniences that prior generations or other cultures would not even notice, to us are very serious. Maybe we need to learn how to think differently.

On another thread, “The Pefect Joy of St. Francis” we’re discussing the Franciscan Theological Tradition and its contribution to the Church. One of the qualities of that tradition and one of its contributions to theology has been what would later be called “spiritual recklessness.” It does not mean what it sounds like. What it means is the desire to let go of our idea of the perfect, deal with our sinfulness, change our ways, and trust God to do the rest. Sometimes our focus on the ideal can actually become a barrier to great holiness, instead of a help. It does not allow us to tolerate, to be patient, to be creative in finding solutions, to look at our faults and to live each moment without resentment, anger and complaints.

One of my Franciscan brothers, Archbishop Charles Chaput, OFM Cap, brings this theological approach to his ministry as bishop and he has been very successful at teaching it to the people of the Archdiocese of Denver. The other night he was talking to the Knights of Columbus at their annual gathering. He brought this up again. We have to want to renew ourselves and we must want to stop looking at the other person. It is one thing to identify what is sin and what is a bother. It is another to want to change others, because we’re angry, frustrated, resentful or our of sheer arrogance, as Bl. John Paul said about us . . . to want to change people and situations driven by our sense of entitlement.

Someone like Bl. John Paul, who grew up in an oppressed society could more objectively appreciate the wonderful things that we have in our world. It also annoyed the heck out of him, how people with so many blessings could be so miserable, because we make ourselves miseable over things that are not that big a deal.

The first time that Mother Teresa visited the USA Cardinal Cooke of NY asked her what she though to the USA. She said, “Americans are poorer than Indians. Indians die for lack of food and then they rest. Americans live in isolation. You don’t take note of each other. Instead you are lonely people.” Maybe there is something to this. Maybe we Catholics can stop thinking about what makes things better for us in church and think about how to respond with greater love and patience. If we examine our consciences, we may find that our distress over a crying child may often be a little bit of impatience on oiur part. We have an fixed idea of what should happen at mass and what is reverent and we’re not about to consider that it may be possible that many unexpected things can happen and the reverence will still be there and God will still be pleased with the sacrifice that we offer and the patience that we unite to the bread and wine being offered on the altar. Instead of isolating ourselves even at mass, we actually open ourselves up to the fact that there are other people, including children, with needs that are as important as our own and we can tolerate it.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[ConstantineTG]

I don’t hate kids, if that’s what you’re getting at. Things can be annoying, whether they’re human or not. I know a child that cries is normal, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be distracting.

I’m not saying you hate kids. But you just equated a kid to an allergen
And thats the point here. Children are human beings! They are created in the image and likeness of God! Jesus Christ died on the cross for them as much as He did for us grown ups!

See that is the problem I am saying here. Like in the UK today, they are trying to turn kids into an environmental issue. True enough, human beings do produce carbon dioxide, thats what we exhale. But when we start equating human beings with things that are not human beings, then we dehumanize them and this is the time we start thinking that we can treat other humans the way we treat the non-human things. How do you get rid of allergies? You take a pill. How do you get rid of kids? You take a (contraceptive or abortifacent) pill.

 

[JReducation]

I don’t hate kids, if that’s what you’re getting at. Things can be annoying, whether they’re human or not. I know a child that cries is normal, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be distracting.

I showed this thread to one of our brothers today. He too works in pro life ministry. He said something similar to what I said before and what Constantine is saying. He said,

"The problem is that they are being very careless in how they express themselves. It may be the anonymity of the internet. But they don’t realize that they are not as anonymous as they think. The fact is that they are visibly Catholic.

If those with an agenda, such as pro abortion, pro ifanticide and pro contraception hear Catholics refer to infants as a problem or worse imply that an infant can even be a problem for God, it takes away from our credibility. It gives these folks ammunition.

The proper way to say this is that every child is sacred. Therefore, no child should be ignored. If a child cries, the adults responsible for the child have a duty to respond. This may mean going to another space to do so."

He said, "When you say it that way, you place the focus on the good of the child and you make it clear that adults have a moral duty to respond to the cry of a child. When you complain that a child disrupts your mass, you’re stressing the sacredness of the mass at the expense of the child, because you’re not expressing any concern for the child.

If Catholics, who claim to be the most pro-life people in the world can think about the natural needs and behaviors of children as an intrusion in their life of worship, why can’t others think about them as an intrusion in other areas of life?

These folks need to think about the needs of the child and state that more clearly, so that it does not come off as if ritual is more important to Catholics than the needs of an infant."

He made me remember being at a baptism where the bishop was doing the baptizing. When the water was poured over the child’s head the child began to cry as if she were being murdered. The bishop stopped the ritual, picked up the child and began to console her. When the child was quiet, he handed her back to the mother and said, “I didn’t mean to frighten her with the water.” I was such a beautiful moment, because the bishop knew how deal with the situation without doing any harm to the liturgy. He admitted that he had frightened the child by pouring water over her head.

When Brother said these things today, I remembered that baptism and that bishop, who is now a cardinal. I remember how he focused on the needs of the child, not on the fact that he had to stop. Stopping didn’t seem to bother him at all. Once the child was calm, the liturgy continued.

We do have to learn to say things so that the focus is on the need of the child and we don’t send a message that we don’t want to send. Crying infants are not an inconvenience to God and they should not be to Catholics. It’s just another challenge that has to be addressed at that moment, that’s all.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[PatriceA]

No, I scratch it. And my eye doesn’t affect anyone else.
I do thank you for the humor, though.

So a mother soothes her child in a pew, and its done. The same as you itch your eye. Its only temporary.

But both distract you. But you give more importance to the crying infant, because its beyond your control. Whereas the mother feels she can control the situation of the crying infant, same as you can relieve your itching eye, which you may or may not with certain know if its also annoying your fellow parishoners. You can not say for certain, you scratching your itchy eye is disturbing to other people. There is a possibility someone is annoyed with your scratching. Maybe you should be aware of that, the same that a mother that is trying to do their best to sooth their infant that they could be disturbing fellow parishoners that are so distracted by itching eyes and crying infants.

 

[YoungTradCath]

So a mother soothes her child in a pew, and its done. The same as you itch your eye. Its only temporary.

But both distract you. But you give more importance to the crying infant, because its beyond your control. Whereas the mother feels she can control the situation of the crying infant, same as you can relieve your itching eye, which you may or may not with certain know if its also annoying your fellow parishoners. You can not say for certain, you scratching your itchy eye is disturbing to other people. There is a possibility someone is annoyed with your scratching. Maybe you should be aware of that, the same that a mother that is trying to do their best to sooth their infant that they could be disturbing fellow parishoners that are so distracted by itching eyes and crying infants.

It’s rather paltry to say that me scratching my eye is equivalent to the distraction made by a crying infant.

But, I digress. I am not going to post more about this because I have said what I want.

 

[EzraJacob]

One of my Franciscan brothers, Archbishop Charles Chaput, OFM Cap, brings this theological approach to his ministry as bishop and he has been very successful at teaching it to the people of the Archdiocese of Denver. The other night he was talking to the Knights of Columbus at their annual gathering. He brought this up again. We have to want to renew ourselves and we must want to stop looking at the other person. It is one thing to identify what is sin and what is a bother. It is another to want to change others, because we’re angry, frustrated, resentful or our of sheer arrogance, as Bl. John Paul said about us . . . to want to change people and situations driven by our sense of entitlement.

Archbishop Chaput…the same one that has been signed to be Philadelphia’s new Archbishop? I know this is off topic, but I live in Philadelphia and it sounds like you are familiar with him. That being may I ask, is he a good Archbishop?

 

[EzraJacob]

And as in, “good Archbishop” I mean, better then the last two Phila. had.

 

[archangel04]

You guys all just crak me up lol. Funny I see regular poster as my online family

BTW I don’t have kids, lucky me, but to be honest I would rather hear a child cry than to hear some guy talking on his phone or some teen texting on their phone. Children bring me so much joy, and when I ride on a dirty train with miserable people who could kill you with just their looks of bitterness, I always feel better when I hear a child speak or even cry.

 

[JReducation]

Archbishop Chaput…the same one that has been signed to be Philadelphia’s new Archbishop? I know this is off topic, but I live in Philadelphia and it sounds like you are familiar with him. That being may I ask, is he a good Archbishop?

You’re getting more than a bishop. You’re getting a religious brother. Franciscans who are ordained bishop are a rather interesting lot. The rule, constitutions and canon law require that they remain members of their religious community and faithful to their vows, their founder, their charism and their statutes.

Obviously, they are free to govern their dioceses without the intervention of their superior in their work.

But they take their charism with them to the office of the bishop. Franciscans, especially Capuchin Franciscans, have a long tradition of living as religious brothers where the primacy is to obey: God, Church, and Francis. Their second order is to pray. They are not always available. They spend three to four hours per day in prayer. Their third order is to be brothers. This means that they are very attached to each other and they reach out to God’s people as their brothers, just as Francis was a brother to all.

The Archbishop is a very faithful friar. He thinks like a friar. Speaks like a friar. His theology is very Franciscan. His style of leadership is very Franciscan. Obedience is primary. The Franciscan obeys. The Franciscan in position of leadership commands obedience in the name of the Church. He will be one with the poor of your diocese and they will hold a special place in his heart, as is proper to a Franciscan. He will challenge the status quo, which is typical of the Franciscan family, especially in defense of the Church and the vulnerable. Probably the most outstanding quality aboiut this man is his simplicity and intelligence.

Will he be a good archbishop? It depends on what people are looking for. If they want the traditional archbishop, whatever that is, this is not him. If they are looking for a mendicant, this is Archbishop Chaput, a faithful son of St. Francis; therefore, an obedient and faithful son of the Church who will try to serve his people as their brother. Franciscans are full of surprises, because our charism is very different from what people expect of religious. On some points we’re very monastic and structured and on other points, we are deliberately very flexible. This was what Francis wanted of his sons. We’re not always structured or flexible where people want us to be. We’re really nice people.

He is a very holy man.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Allegra]

In my community, I believe the most damaging thing to happen to our parishes is the elevation of the parish dayschool to a symbol of elite social status. (due to the cost of tuition and the attitudes of some elitist families about children of other creeds and colors) This has caused the parish schools to become corrupted by racism and classism (In some cases, to the extent where it is unfit for any Christian child.) and to be ruled by a class of affluent parents who can afford the tuition. The prejudiced ideals of the privileged class are then substituted for an authentic Catholic education.

Sadly, this shift has also resulted in the alienation of some 30 years of Catholic children from the faith of their parents and grandparents. These children have been mistreated and excluded by the affluent “inner ring” of parish dayschool parents to the extent that they feel like outsiders in their own church, for no reason other then the unforgivable crime of their parents not sending them to the parish school.

 

[EzraJacob]

You’re getting more than a bishop. You’re getting a religious brother. Franciscans who are ordained bishop are a rather interesting lot. The rule, constitutions and canon law require that they remain members of their religious community and faithful to their vows, their founder, their charism and their statutes.

Obviously, they are free to govern their dioceses without the intervention of their superior in their work.

But they take their charism with them to the office of the bishop. Franciscans, especially Capuchin Franciscans, have a long tradition of living as religious brothers where the primacy is to obey: God, Church, and Francis. Their second order is to pray. They are not always available. They spend three to four hours per day in prayer. Their third order is to be brothers. This means that they are very attached to each other and they reach out to God’s people as their brothers, just as Francis was a brother to all.

The Archbishop is a very faithful friar. He thinks like a friar. Speaks like a friar. His theology is very Franciscan. His style of leadership is very Franciscan. Obedience is primary. The Franciscan obeys. The Franciscan in position of leadership commands obedience in the name of the Church. He will be one with the poor of your diocese and they will hold a special place in his heart, as is proper to a Franciscan. He will challenge the status quo, which is typical of the Franciscan family, especially in defense of the Church and the vulnerable. Probably the most outstanding quality aboiut this man is his simplicity and intelligence.

Will he be a good archbishop? It depends on what people are looking for. If they want the traditional archbishop, whatever that is, this is not him. If they are looking for a mendicant, this is Archbishop Chaput, a faithful son of St. Francis; therefore, an obedient and faithful son of the Church who will try to serve his people as their brother. Franciscans are full of surprises, because our charism is very different from what people expect of religious. On some points we’re very monastic and structured and on other points, we are deliberately very flexible. This was what Francis wanted of his sons. We’re not always structured or flexible where people want us to be. We’re really nice people.

He is a very holy man.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

This is all very nice to hear. In the papers there has been stories about him. Not to much information. Most was about how the Catholics in Denver are sad he is leaving and telling Philadelphia that we are lucky. That he handled reports of abuse very well. And there has been more stories of our last two Archbishops. Recently the courts opened the records of the one Archbishop to the public while he was being questioned. And a lot about the abuse scandal and how it was ignored. How the previous Archbishop gave it all up to his assistants and did nothing but move them from parish to parish. Many schools closing. From reading the articles(I haven’t lived here long) it sounds like the last two Archbishops let down this great city and helped drive away many catholics. Its crazy to think how not to long ago this city had St. John Neumann as Archbishop, and all of the good the Saint did.

Archbishop Chaput has a lot of work. And he is/has been in my prayers since I herd the news of his arrival.

 

[USNCorpsman]

Churches not being open 24hrs anymore due to vandalizism and theft, what has happened to the respect of the sanctuary?

 

[archangel04]

Churches not being open 24hrs anymore due to vandalizism and theft, what has happened to the respect of the sanctuary?

That is very true, and very sad

 

[Urbano_Macchi]

I’m sure I can think of at least 20 things that have been more damaging just to the liturgy alone than the advent of cry rooms.

 

[JReducation]

This is all very nice to hear. In the papers there has been stories about him. Not to much information. Most was about how the Catholics in Denver are sad he is leaving and telling Philadelphia that we are lucky. That he handled reports of abuse very well. And there has been more stories of our last two Archbishops. Recently the courts opened the records of the one Archbishop to the public while he was being questioned. And a lot about the abuse scandal and how it was ignored. How the previous Archbishop gave it all up to his assistants and did nothing but move them from parish to parish. Many schools closing. From reading the articles(I haven’t lived here long) it sounds like the last two Archbishops let down this great city and helped drive away many catholics. Its crazy to think how not to long ago this city had St. John Neumann as Archbishop, and all of the good the Saint did.

Archbishop Chaput has a lot of work. And he is/has been in my prayers since I herd the news of his arrival.

You must all remember, he is a Capuchin-Franciscan. Their tradition is preferential option for the poor. There may still be closings of schools and middle class parishes, if it’s needed to serve the poor. I can’t tell you this for sure, because I don’t know how many poor your have, how much moneyyou have, how many priests, brothers and sisters you have and where the Catholics are. All of these things affect how a bishop governs and shuffles the cards.

I’m NOT SPEAKING FOR ARCHBISHOP CHAPUT. I’m speaking as a Franciscan. A Franciscan bishop, whoever he may be, has to be make his presence felt among the poorest members of his diocese, the most sinful members of his diocese and the priests, brothers and sisters who serve in his diocese.

He must first address the poor, because he is one of them. He must look at the clergy and religious, because they are his manpower.

In addition, a Franciscan bishop must always listen to his people. He is their brother. Brothers must listen. He is not their monarch. However, he is also a son of Francis and the successor to the Apostles. He has a moral duty to listen, but he does not have a moral obligation to do what the people ask. He must be faithful to these two traditions: Apostolic first and Franciscan second. Franciscans also have a clause in our rule that says that we must obey the pope, regardless of how we feel about it. A Franciscan bishop will be faithful to the pope. If the pope says “Stand on your head,” that’s what he’ll do.

He will fight for the unborn. This is a cause very near and dear to his heart. He is very open about obedience and submissioin to the Church. He will fight for the Church, even if he has to take on Catholics. He believes that every Catholic is equal in dignity, but that religious, clergy and laity each have a place in the Church and they cannot cross those lines. His big struggle is always reminding Catholics that we don’t own the Church. We tend to think that we do.

Philadelphia, you’re getting a different kind of bishop. This one is a brother. I don’t mean this figuratively. I mean this literally. He belongs to an order of brothers. He will be a brother to the people of Philadelphia. Remember, a brother can still be very demanding. He’s your brother who is also your bishop, not a door mat.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[TrentCath]

What’s the single most damaging innovation to Catholic churches over the last 50 years?

It’s not the removal of altar rails or the electric vigil candles, or the fancy felt banners that hang from the ceiling. Guess again.

It’s the “crying room.”

patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Crying-Shame-Greg-Kandra-08-03-2011.html

I’ll be honest crying babies do annoy me because they detract from the mass itself, however I think this more to do with my nature than it is with the fact that they should be removed from the mass. Whenever I get annoyed I just tell myself that Jesus said to his disciples 'Let the little children come to me’

I have never seen a priest or bishop get annoyed about the fact a baby is crying they just carry on, that said if a baby is wailing on and on and on to the point that it is affecting the congregations ability to hear what the priest is saying and/or detracting from the mass itself they should be taken out until they calm down and then if ready brought in again.

I’m not comfortable with the idea of simply excluding them from Mass altogether, the most I would say is that they should be taken out if the noise they’re making is simply too much.

 

[Seamus_L]

I can see it now. An 18 yr old with a bizarre haircut, covered in tattoos and body piercings, black grim reaper tee-shirt, skull earings and black nail polish on his nails. “I hate the Catholic Church and always will” he says “Because they made it clear they didn’t want me around when I was a baby and sent me to the cry room”

 

[daCatholicGuard]

Because I’m a Franciscan, communion rails, the position of the tabernacle, stained glass windows, and statuary are not where we have placed our focus in building. We rarely had our own churches. We usually inherited them. However, when we did build a friary, the chapel never had communion rails, statuary or a lot of color. The windows depended on what the friars could afford. If there were good craftsmen who could do the work, they put them in, if not, they used tinted glass or frosted glass. From the year 1209 we have been formed in the mindset that these are non essential elements for worship, because St. Francis built very simple chapels.

There was something that St. Francis brought to the table and the Church adopted, which I like very much and it is not so common today. Chapels had to be beautiful. They did not have to be ornate. In fact, that was always discouraged, because it was against poverty. However, everything had to be beautiful, clean and functional.

I don’t like much of the modern architecture used for building today’s churches. I don’t find them beautiful. I find them bland. However, I notice that it’s not just religious architecture that is this way. Modern architecture is rather bland. I grew up in the south. We have built beautiful old houses with a lot of details inside and out. When I left home to live in the modern suburb, I found houses to be very boring.

I also don’t like the round churches. That was never part of the Judeo - Christian tradition. In the Judeo- Christian tradition people either face in the same direction or sit across from each other with the focal point at one end of the rectangle. That’s why monasteries have stalls instead of pews. The mass is at one end of the chapel, but the monks are looking across to each other and they walk over to the sanctuary for the Eucharistic Prayer. In friaries, chapels tend to be smaller, because friaries are smaller than monasteries. They rarely have stalls. They have seating facing toward the altar. Like monasteries, there are no communion rails; therefore, the sanctuary is open. The entire space is sacred space. That’s because there is no room in the sanctuary for the community. In those friaries where the chapel does have a large sanctuary and the number of friars is small, then the community is in the sanctuary from the offertory until communion.

I like the movement and I like the looking at each other as do monks and friars, but with the altar being at the end. The round church feels uncomfortable to me. From the outside, some look like a spaceship.

If I were going to identify the most damaging, I would have to say that it’s the bland architecture of today. It’s simple, but it’s not beautiful. There is such a thing a simple and beautiful. If you have ever been to the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC, the crypt church is simple and beautiful. It’s beauty is in its austerity.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

Greetings JReducation,

First, thank you for choosing the life of a Franciscan brother. I can understand your point and it is perfectly acceptable for Franciscans who take a vow of poverty to build simple churches, (although I disagree about the placement of Communion Rails and Tabernacles- those things are paramount and should be prominently placed out of simple respect). However, it is equally true that the life of a Religious and the life of a layperson are two separate entities. The Religious, i.e., priests, brothers, nuns, etc., spend their entire day… and life serving God and seeking out His Glory.

However, for the layperson; many of whom have to work long hours to keep food on the table, (and then they have to come home and cook it and take care of their kids); a daily prayer life often consists of just a few minutes a day. Given their hectic, turbulent days; the only time these people are often able to experience the grandeur and glory of God is at Church for Sunday Mass. This is one of the reasons why I think church architecture should help reveal to us God’s Glory and Majesty; it should be awe inspiring; as our God is awe inspiring.

Some of the most beautiful churches and cathedrals I’ve ever been in were built by very poor, immigrant congregations and those churches were built out of great sacrifice. If you ask me, it was time and money very well spent. Granted, some will say they should have built a simple church and given more to the poor. Had they done that; the poor would have eaten for a few months; however, those beautiful, baroque churches those working class congregations built will inspire generations for centuries.

Just as Jesus said when the dark apostle chided Mary Magdalene for using the very expensive jar of perfumed oil on Jesus; “For the poor you have always with you: but me you have not always.” I think it is a similar situation for some working families; their time at Church is the only time during the week when they can really be close to God in peaceful quietude from an otherwise hectic life- and I think that the church architecture that surrounds them should reveal God’s Majesty and provide a small inkling of the glorious inheritance that awaits them in the life to come.

Oremus pro invicem,

Sean C.

---

**Please recite the Rosary daily. Each bead; devoutly said; is an eternal rose presented to Jesus and Our Blessed Mother.

Be sure to read The Secret of the Rosary by Saint Louis de Montfort. It will change your life.

When you are in a tight spot; pray to St. Jude and have faith. **

 

[Cat]

So a mother soothes her child in a pew, and its done. The same as you itch your eye. Its only temporary.

But both distract you. But you give more importance to the crying infant, because its beyond your control. Whereas the mother feels she can control the situation of the crying infant, same as you can relieve your itching eye, which you may or may not with certain know if its also annoying your fellow parishoners. You can not say for certain, you scratching your itchy eye is disturbing to other people. There is a possibility someone is annoyed with your scratching. Maybe you should be aware of that, the same that a mother that is trying to do their best to sooth their infant that they could be disturbing fellow parishoners that are so distracted by itching eyes and crying infants.

Some mothers can’t sooth their infant or child in the pew. That doesn’t mean that they are bad mothers. Of course not! It’s just the way things are.

When my older daughter was a toddler, she was wild. We were in a Protestant church, and she would literally run up to the podium and jump into the pastor’s arms. She would sing loudly, talk loudly, dance around, climb under pews, climb into other people’s laps, and talk to them.

I could NOT convince her that all this wasn’t appropriate. I am about as strict a mom as they come, but she also had a strong personality. She was just irrepressible! A lively child full of life and love.

So rather than trying, week after week, to deal with this, I left her in the nursery, where she could run her little legs off and talk to everyone! The nursery staff loved seeing her, because she was so much fun and so friendly.

And by the time she was three, she was mature enough that she was capable of understanding that it was not appropriate to run around the church during the worship service.

Some moms have babies that are incredibly fussy (especially when the poor baby has colic), and they just can’t sit in a pew and calm the baby. Many babies (especially those with colic) need to be walked and bounced, and you can’t do this in the pews, even if you sit in the very back pew.

Some moms get upset themselves when their baby is fussy, and then when they try to nurse the child, they can’t let their milk down and then the baby gets even more upset. And many mothers are simply too modest to nurse in public, even with the various cover-ups and blankets. So these moms like to go somewhere quieter and more private.

Some babies are easily upset in crowds or with too much noise. My younger daughter hated crowds, noise, and confusion. Although she would often go to sleep to escape crowds, she would also cry and scream if she was in an unfamiliar setting. We couldn’t even leave her in the church nursery unless one particular lady was on staff that day. My husband couldn’t even sooth my younger daughter!–it had to be me or that other lady. She’s still like this, BTW, at age 25–very easily upset by changes in routine.

And sometimes a baby or toddler will try something “new”, and all the usual soothing methods don’t work, and mom and dad have to figure out this latest challenge! This is often easier to do when you leave the crowd and go somewhere with less people, where you can talk and say, “Try holding him upside down!” “Try singing to him!” etc.

 

[PatriceA]

It’s rather paltry to say that me scratching my eye is equivalent to the distraction made by a crying infant.

But, I digress. I am not going to post more about this because I have said what I want.

But you were the one that made the comparison, not me.

And Cat, I think you missed the whole point of my comment.