The Need for Catholic Masculinity

[Bellator]

As one of my most major concerns, I have devoted much thought to the practice of being a man, for in my experience, I have come across many different standards of the masculinity, with few worthy of respect. This is troubling; society by nature is designed to unite under a leading body. If leadership is not present, the masses are doomed to descend into chaos. And in a similar way, a society without true men leading the people through their example, that social group is destined towards spiritual destruction.

In the past millennia of history we find numerous case studies of degenerate societies being led to destruction by their corrupt leaders. The Roman Empire is a fine example, for while a plethora of causes have been linked to Rome’s demise, one cannot deny the degenerate state of the Caesars of the late Empire. Returning to the present, often the United States been considered as the “New Rome;” certainly the hegemonic hand of American power is credit to this. But just like its predecessor, New Rome is undergoing a process of moral decline. While the causes can be listed under political and social stimuli, one fact remains clear: there are no men leading our nation.

But returning to my previous statement; I have said that I have found few men worthy of respect. Those that I do hold in high esteem are select, but curiously enough are all similar in one crucial aspect. For all men that I hold as my role models are members of the Catholic Church. Guided by the ethical principles dictated by the Faith, these men act as paradigms of proper masculinity. For example, both the Catechism and Scripture attest to the importance of charity, which in turn is rooted in love of neighbor. When expressing their charity, these men do not fall into the guise of the politician, whose interest in others is often utilitarian, but rather they care for others as if they were the most intimate of family members. Taking this virtue to the leadership position, one finds that proper charity is crucial for a leader. For just as the Church acts as a nurturing mother to the faithful, the proper state leader acts as a father, who interests lie not for himself, but for the people under his care.

Imagine if the United States were led men of Catholic standing! While it is impossible to create a utopia, one can imagine how close our nation would be if it were guided by individuals firmly rooted in their moral principles.

 

[kozlosap]

Oh, this will be a fun one to watch!

 

[Rence]

Imagine if the United States were led men of Catholic standing! While it is impossible to create a utopia, one can imagine how close our nation would be if it were guided by individuals firmly rooted in their moral principles.

It didn’t work for pre-protestant England. Thankfully those days are over and unlikely to ever return.

 

[edwest2]

To the OP,

Your concerns are well-founded. When I was a boy, I was surrounded by good role models. We had neighbors that we regarded as extensions of our family. No, they were not perfect but even at a young age, I could tell they were doing their best to exercise self-control, were hard-working, which required a strong work ethic, and practiced self-discipline. Of the fathers I knew, they and their wives, were willing to do without for the sake of their kids. My father, a simple repairman, did the things a dad should do. He was not unintelligent but hard labor suited him.

In the 1970s, a vicious, anti-family group called the National Organization for Women tried their best to demonize all men. Women were encouraged to forget about traditional roles like being a homemaker. They should get careers instead. Prior to this, young men and young women were on the same page regarding relationships. As the decades passed, the media turned its spotlight from the good and genuine, and all those manly qualities were pushed aside. The worst problem was an increase, in each decade. of deviations from normal married life and normal sexuality as portrayed in movies and TV, to the point where too many don’t know what the word dating means. This gross overemphasis on sex distorted the minds of both sexes. It is unhealthy and helped to fragment communities. After all, everyone was told to ‘do their own thing’ and whatever it was, it was marketed as acceptable behavior. This is anarchy as illustrated by the words of Pope Benedict:

“If we cannot have common values, common truths, sufficient communication on the essentials of human life–how to live how to respond to the great challenges of human life–then true society becomes impossible.”

When everyone has the ability to create their version of truth, then what happens to personal standards and community standards?

"Pope Benedict XVI goes on to say:

We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one’s own ego and one’s own desires. The church must defend itself against threats such as “radical individualism” and “vague religious mysticism”. [emphasis added]

We must have universal standards in order to be the men and women we should be. Those standards should not be based on anarchy, but on time-tested and proven truths.

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Forty years ago, this country had shared values that were good for individuals and society at large. Today, those values still exist but one has to look. The mainstream media won’t help you. Look to Catholic publications and Church groups and men’s groups. The Bible tells us to encourage one another.

God bless,
Ed

 

[John1990]

First off, we men need to realize that the problems guys face these days were not caused because women gained basic rights. I am sick of weak men blaming everything on women. Second, men don’t always have to be the leaders. Some of the holiest men were followers. In my option, the true definition of masculinity is: willingness to serve, bravery, self-sacrificing, honor, humility, etc…

 

[JackieO123]

…I myself am not opposed to women holding office, getting careers, etc. If a woman makes a better salary, I’m also not opposed to a man being a homemaker. I do however understand that each fulfills different roles, and should dress and act accordingly to their gender.

 

[Loving_disciple]

This sounds like the stuff Tim from vericast always talks about

 

[PietroPaolo]

It didn’t work for pre-protestant England. Thankfully those days are over and unlikely to ever return.

You’d rather society wasn’t led by Catholics b/c of “pre-protesant England.” I suppose Protestant England was a paragon of virtuous masculine leadership?

 

[OurLadyPray4US]

I was reminded of St. Louis King of France, St. Stephen King of Hungary, and other canonized saints who were great leaders. Yes, it was a golden era for society, when the leaders were saintly Catholics who sacrificed their own egos, and even their own lives, for their countries.

 

[andrewstx]

First off, we men need to realize that the problems guys face these days were not caused because women gained basic rights. I am sick of weak men blaming everything on women. Second, men don’t always have to be the leaders. Some of the holiest men were followers. In my option, the true definition of masculinity is: willingness to serve, bravery, self-sacrificing, honor, humility, etc…

AMEN!

 

[andrewstx]

I become very tired of the stereotyping of masculinity and the idea that all men have to be exactly the same.

I remember when I was young only young boys and teens and women would be in Mass. The men would be doing their best to live up to the stereotype. Standing around the parish hall smoking one cigarette after the other and getting drunk on beer at 9 AM. That made them men?

I think masculinity comes from the inside and not from following a stereotype. To me being a man comes from Integrity, Morality, and Love for your family.

Being a man to me does not come from driving a huge gas guzzling truck, from owning a killer Pitbull or having lots of tatooes or dying from liver or lung disease.

It also does not come from being ultra competitive or following far right politics.

 

[ThinkingSapien]

In my option, the true definition of masculinity is: willingness to serve, bravery, self-sacrificing, honor, humility, etc…

If a female displayed those properties would she be said to be masculine?

 

[edwest2]

I become very tired of the stereotyping of masculinity and the idea that all men have to be exactly the same.

I remember when I was young only young boys and teens and women would be in Mass. The men would be doing their best to live up to the stereotype. Standing around the parish hall smoking one cigarette after the other and getting drunk on beer at 9 AM. That made them men?

I think masculinity comes from the inside and not from following a stereotype. To me being a man comes from Integrity, Morality, and Love for your family.

Being a man to me does not come from driving a huge gas guzzling truck, from owning a killer Pitbull or having lots of tatooes or dying from liver or lung disease.

It also does not come from being ultra competitive or following far right politics.

That is a very strange and obnoxious generalization. Each man has different strengths and weaknesses but if we have a role model then we should follow his guidance and we should be consistent. Society did not spring up last week. What has been proven and shown true from one generation to the next should be honored and passed on from father to son, as was the case with most of the boys I grew up with.

Peace,
Ed

 

[andrewstx]

That is a very strange and obnoxious generalization. Each man has different strengths and weaknesses but if we have a role model then we should follow his guidance and we should be consistent. Society did not spring up last week. What has been proven and shown true from one generation to the next should be honored and passed on from father to son, as was the case with most of the boys I grew up with.

Peace,
Ed

I think you could say I had bad role models. I came from a split Protestant family where my parents divorced and both ‘re-married’.

Step dad lived up to the stereotype completely. Mean as hell, he was an alcoholic who died of lung cancer after physically and mentally abusing me for years, and I mean serious abuse with broken bones on myself. He would not dream of setting foot in a church because church was for women and children only. He encouraged me to smoke and drink at a very young age.

My biological dad was a Casper Milktoast type and step-mom wore the pants in the family. He was very obedient to her.

I think human men should be individuals and I am an individualist, and I still believe that being a man comes from the inside.

Those “men” standing outside the parish hall getting drunk first thing in the morning were hypocrites. Even the pastor told me they were unfaithfull to a man, while beating their wifes if the so much as looked at a man other than their husbands.

 

[Ridgerunner]

If a female displayed those properties would she be said to be masculine?

No. A woman should also be those thing. Where at least one difference is, though, is that in a family context, the man should be the first, not the second, to throw himself into “the breach”, whatever that might be.

Nowadays, that’s mostly a matter of work, and particularly outside the home. Let’s face it, men don’t live as long as women do. It’s also a fact that men work longer hours than women do and take on harder jobs, characteristically. That kind of thing can exact a toll, and it’s for men to take it on before anyone else in the family.

And children need to see him do that, as well as “heavy lifting” of an entirely physical kind without complaint.

I’ll be called retrograde for that, and perhaps more for the following. It is my belief that it is up to men, more than women in a family situation, to be the less flexible parent. I think for boys, particularly, the dad who doesn’t give in to softness in the face of clearly wrong conduct, is as important as a mom who sometimes does.

For men without families, the same sort of characteristics I have seen exhibited relative to the parish. There are a small number of men, usually never married but sometimes widowered, who are the ones who do the hard work around the church or school, usually physical, and are “no nonsense” in their approach to it. I have seen some of them give every nickel they had to the Church eventually, while they lived a spartan existence otherwise. I’m not saying women cannot or never do such things, but in my experience it’s always those particular men. Self-sacrificing women seem to gravitate to entirely different roles.

 

[edwest2]

I think you could say I had bad role models. I came from a split Protestant family where my parents divorced and both ‘re-married’.

Step dad lived up to the stereotype completely. Mean as hell, he was an alcoholic who died of lung cancer after physically and mentally abusing me for years, and I mean serious abuse with broken bones on myself. He would not dream of setting foot in a church because church was for women and children only. He encouraged me to smoke and drink at a very young age.

My biological dad was a Casper Milktoast type and step-mom wore the pants in the family. He was very obedient to her.

I think human men should be individuals and I am an individualist, and I still believe that being a man comes from the inside.

Those “men” standing outside the parish hall getting drunk first thing in the morning were hypocrites. Even the pastor told me they were unfaithfull to a man, while beating their wifes if the so much as looked at a man other than their husbands.

I’m sorry to hear this. However, not all Catholic men drank or smoked. I didn’t even though my dad had his regular shot and a beer, and smoked. The wife of the owner of the corner store on my street, asked me when I was around 15 if I smoked, and she did. When I said no, she said, “Well, don’t start. It’s a dirty habit.” And I felt real compassion for her. Smoking’s a tough habit to break I later learned.

None of my friends smoke, and we don’t drink aside from a glass of wine or two at a special occasion, and a few, not even that.

Peace,
Ed

 

[edwest2]

No. A woman should also be those thing. Where at least one difference is, though, is that in a family context, the man should be the first, not the second, to throw himself into “the breach”, whatever that might be.

Nowadays, that’s mostly a matter of work, and particularly outside the home. Let’s face it, men don’t live as long as women do. It’s also a fact that men work longer hours than women do and take on harder jobs, characteristically. That kind of thing can exact a toll, and it’s for men to take it on before anyone else in the family.

And children need to see him do that, as well as “heavy lifting” of an entirely physical kind without complaint.

I’ll be called retrograde for that, and perhaps more for the following. It is my belief that it is up to men, more than women in a family situation, to be the less flexible parent. I think for boys, particularly, the dad who doesn’t give in to softness in the face of clearly wrong conduct, is as important as a mom who sometimes does.

For men without families, the same sort of characteristics I have seen exhibited relative to the parish. There are a small number of men, usually never married but sometimes widowered, who are the ones who do the hard work around the church or school, usually physical, and are “no nonsense” in their approach to it. I have seen some of them give every nickel they had to the Church eventually, while they lived a spartan existence otherwise. I’m not saying women cannot or never do such things, but in my experience it’s always those particular men. Self-sacrificing women seem to gravitate to entirely different roles.

These sorts of characteristics used to be modeled more often in real life and in the media. When did being a totally dysfunctional lump become the “standard” for men?

Men and women do complement each other but they have well-defined differences. The moment some anarchists starting shouting otherwise in an attempt to disconnect honest, hard-working, committed men from the past is wrong. 100% wrong. The grandfather, the father and the son did not seek to rearrange the social furniture. Since the first man walked the earth, it’s been this way. But no, those who fear boredom had to create rearrangements - most of them bad.

Catholic boys need good, clean role models so they can grow into good, clean Catholic men.

Peace,
Ed

 

[Rence]

You’d rather society wasn’t led by Catholics b/c of “pre-protesant England.” I suppose Protestant England was a paragon of virtuous masculine leadership?

I prefer the society in which I live now, where all religions are respected and we are free to choose which religion to follow. That said, yes, I’d prefer a society not led by Catholics because I wouldn’t want all our laws based on Catholic rules or laws anymore than I would want our laws based on any other religion’s rules and laws. Besides that, you imply only Catholic men can effectively lead a country and that’s just false. There are good people out there, men and women, Catholic and non-Catholic. Being Catholic doesn’t automatically earn one a gold star.

 

[edwest2]

I prefer the society in which I live now, where all religions are respected and we are free to choose which religion to follow. That said, yes, I’d prefer a society not led by Catholics because I wouldn’t want all our laws based on Catholic rules or laws anymore than I would want our laws based on any other religion’s rules and laws. Besides that, you imply only Catholic men can effectively lead a country and that’s just false. There are good people out there, men and women, Catholic and non-Catholic. Being Catholic doesn’t automatically earn one a gold star.

So what are our laws based on?

Peace,
Ed

 

[Tarpeian]

I become very tired of the stereotyping of masculinity and the idea that all men have to be exactly the same.

I remember when I was young only young boys and teens and women would be in Mass. The men would be doing their best to live up to the stereotype. Standing around the parish hall smoking one cigarette after the other and getting drunk on beer at 9 AM. That made them men?

I think masculinity comes from the inside and not from following a stereotype. To me being a man comes from Integrity, Morality, and Love for your family.

Being a man to me does not come from driving a huge gas guzzling truck, from owning a killer Pitbull or having lots of tatooes or dying from liver or lung disease.

It also does not come from being ultra competitive or following far right politics.

I happen to drive a gas guzzling truck (my neighbor sells me all his “old” trucks every 6-7 years basically gives them away. I own a killer Dutch Shepherd and every dog I’ve ever owned would give and I mean give up their life, for me and my family, (I train dogs for police and military). I only have 3 tattoos, two of which were youth gone wild 25 years ago. And I’m dying, in fact we all are.

All kidding aside being a man means putting others first, if you do, every other virtue will grow out of the self sacrificing love that comes from taking care of others.

Pax,
Tarpeian