The Our Father---Do you join hands or not?

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lorly3170

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Does anyone know exactly what you are suppose to do. I see many people that hold hands during The Our Father. I know that our bishop doesn’t encourage it but they don’t discourage it if one chooses to do that.
Thanks
Lori
 
i never hold anyones hand in church during the Our Father… it’s weird, tacky and i just don’t want to know the person next to me that well. plus i really don’t know where their hand has been AND what diseases they might spread to me.
just my opinion.

when they do try to reach for my hand, i usually just stare at them until they get the message. i’m not a master of subtle.
 
I do not hold hands during the Our Father either. I believe that we come to full communion with our brothers and sisters during Communion.

I close my eyes, and fold my hands as I do during prayer. I have not had an issue by praying the Our Father this way.
 
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dmm2000:
I do not hold hands during the Our Father either. I believe that we come to full communion with our brothers and sisters during Communion.

I close my eyes, and fold my hands as I do during prayer. I have not had an issue by praying the Our Father this way.
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That’s what I do (I also bow my head). I figure if someone was to look at me and see me in that posture, they wouldn’t try to hold my hand. Works for me.
 
I really don’t like it. It smacks of that superficial shiny happy feel-good so-called liturgical reform that surfaced during the 60s & 70s . :mad: Besides, it’s a Protestant tradition & just plain unnecessary, because as many have pointed out here, we Catholics already show our fellowship in the Eucharist.

Thanks to these forums, I’ve learned that it is NOT an acceptable expression (there’s a reference to the official Chrich position on this in another thread). However, I’ve been doing it when I visit my family because my mother got it into her head that it was a good thing to do. When I visit her next time, I intend to tell her - she’s very devout, so I’m sure she’ll want to do the right thing.
 
In my parish, it is considered strange not to hold hands. In fact, I never really thought of it until I read this thread. I just assumed that everyone did it and that was that.

You guys have interesting points about germs, feel-good hippie/Protestant influence, etc., but I really think it’s a nice practice. I like the fact that it is symbolic of being in full community with everyone else (even if Eucharist already reminds us of this), and I don’t mind those germs as much as I mind the ones from the wine chalice. If I’m standing next to someone who looks like they haven’t washed their hand in a few months, then I’ll refrain from holding it–or shaking it during the "peace be with you"s. Otherwise, I guess I just like touching people, especially when it implies something deeper.
 
kfarose,

I do not believe that the Eucharist “reminds” us of communion with each other. It makes real communion with not only each other, but with Our Lord and all the angels and saints.
 
Good Morning Church

Our parish always holds hands and I love it.
We hold hands in our family at home when we pray.
Why wouldn’t we hold hands with our Spiritual family (in fact brothers and sisters, all being Children of God and of the Blessed Mother). This should be a close relationship.

For those of you who are worried about nasty germs, do you all sit in the front pew so you don’t have to drink after anyone either? Imagine worrying so much about germs! Bet you take out a hanky to turn a door knob and never touch an item in a store that someone else has touched. I am sure you will live forever. Sorry but that excuse always cracks me up.
 
We are not to hold hands during the Our Father at Mass because this gesture is not a part of the rubrics of the Liturgy of the Mass as found in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal. Only those gestures that are called for ought to be done, and hand holding is definitely not called for. The sign of our unity is, as others have pointed out, the Eucharist, not holding hands. Besides, the Sign of Peace follows the Our Father and is a better time to take the hand of ones neighbor, signifying the peace of Christ and our fellowship of peace in Him.
 
I was wondering about this also as I did not see this growing up. Is this new to cathoic churches?

I also find it strange that people hold their hands up in air if they have no one to hold hands with. It just seems odd in a catholic church to me.
 
Back when all this liturgical nonsense FIRST started to get out of hand, we attended Mass in a little church where the custom was to hold hands during the Our Father.

Knowing this wasn’t supposed to be going on (according to the GIRM–then AND now), my husband and I kept our hands folded and prayed with heads bowed. Well, the woman next to me apparently decided I missed the cue. She nudged me with her outstretched hand a couple of times. I pretended not to notice.

Then she actually WHACKED me on the upper arm with the back of her hand! I restrained my natural impulse to backhand her myself (though not on the arm) and turned toward her, smiled as sweetly as I could and shook my head. I then turned back to prayer.

She then reached out and tucked her hand up under my upper arm. Well, by this time I was REALLY ready to whack her a good one, but I pretended not to notice and we concluded the Lord’s prayer, although she nearly dislocated my shoulder when she tried to raise her hand up during the Doxology (haven’t figured that gesture out, either.)

Here’s the kicker: When it was time for the sign of peace, I turned to her, held out my hand, and SHE TURNED HER BACK ON ME!!! I mean, she actually made eye contact and “flounced” her shoulders as she turned away! I could not believe this! And at the sign of peace!

Apparently the gesture meant more to her than the actual prayer… especially the part about “…forgive us… as we forgive those who trespass against us…” (although I was the one who had the “no trespassing” sign up in the correct spot!) And it must have been a *meaningless *gesture to her when I held out my hand during the sign of peace.

Can’t we just celebrate Mass the way it’s SUPPOSED to be done, so as to avoid all these little irritations???

Blue"mugged in Mass"Rose
 
It’s common in my church to hold hands. I did until I read that this is out of line with the teachings of the church. So, now I put my hands together (prayer position) and place the tips of my fingers on my lips. My fingers will be upright, just under my nose. Of course, there have been the occasion when I was in this position and had someone poke me hard on the arm until I reached over to hold their hand. Which I thought was extremely rude.
 
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bluerose:
Back when all this liturgical nonsense FIRST started to get out of hand, we attended Mass in a little church where the custom was to hold hands during the Our Father.

Knowing this wasn’t supposed to be going on (according to the GIRM–then AND now), my husband and I kept our hands folded and prayed with heads bowed. Well, the woman next to me apparently decided I missed the cue. She nudged me with her outstretched hand a couple of times. I pretended not to notice.

Then she actually WHACKED me on the upper arm with the back of her hand! I restrained my natural impulse to backhand her myself (though not on the arm) and turned toward her, smiled as sweetly as I could and shook my head. I then turned back to prayer.

She then reached out and tucked her hand up under my upper arm. Well, by this time I was REALLY ready to whack her a good one, but I pretended not to notice and we concluded the Lord’s prayer, although she nearly dislocated my shoulder when she tried to raise her hand up during the Doxology (haven’t figured that gesture out, either.)

Here’s the kicker: When it was time for the sign of peace, I turned to her, held out my hand, and SHE TURNED HER BACK ON ME!!! I mean, she actually made eye contact and “flounced” her shoulders as she turned away! I could not believe this! And at the sign of peace!

Apparently the gesture meant more to her than the actual prayer… especially the part about “…forgive us… as we forgive those who trespass against us…” (although I was the one who had the “no trespassing” sign up in the correct spot!) And it must have been a *meaningless *gesture to her when I held out my hand during the sign of peace.

Can’t we just celebrate Mass the way it’s SUPPOSED to be done, so as to avoid all these little irritations???

Blue"mugged in Mass"Rose
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Granted this is an extreme example, but the actions of this woman exemplify my big grief with this hand-holding nonsense (don’t get me started about people that stretch arms across the aisle or vault pews at the kiss of peace). It has become so entrenched in some parishes that some people think it is actually a requirement, or at least established custom that EVERYBODY should do. A person who chooses to follow the rubrics as they are written or simply does not care to hold hands with perfect strangers is thus ostricized and made to feel churlish or worse.

I have recently started practicing what the previous poster is doing: I will hold my hands with my wife or kids, but otherwise assume a prayerful or neutral posture. I’ve gotten dirty looks or people leaving in a huff right after communion (maybe they were going to do this anyway), but I don’t feel I should enable or reinforce this non-mandatory practice if I don’t have to.
 
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perplexed:
I was wondering about this also as I did not see this growing up. Is this new to cathoic churches?

I also find it strange that people hold their hands up in air if they have no one to hold hands with. It just seems odd in a catholic church to me.
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Both of these things are new to us Catholics. I’m only 40 & I never saw them at all until just a few years ago. Granted, Catholics in my neck of the woods are rather orthodox so maybe they just didn’t catch on until recently.

There is a name for the posture of holding up your hands and it’s totally separate from the hand-holding thing - I’ve seen a thread or two about it on some of these forums.
 
I don’t like it because I find it distracting, but I usually do it anyway.

What I’ve seen some do is hold their hands together in the tradional “steeple” style while praying the Our Father thus avoiding contact.

Bill
 
Thank you, I am just uncomfortable with people holding their hands upwards in a catholic church, I feel out of place since it was not done at our churches growing up.

I have seen it done at other faiths churches and again I felt out of place, I don’t know the word for it but I know it makes me unconfortable as for handholding I am not sure about that either.
 
Greetings

Every time this topic comes up, I am amazed by some of the posts.

Holding hands during the Our Father is not against any rules or an abuse. That is a fact. It is not mentioned.
Some Bishops OK it and some do not. If some Bishops think it is OK, what does that tell you? Does it tell you that some parishioners can interpret the rubrics better than a Bishop, the Authority God puts over us? I don’t think so. It would appear to be up to the Bishop of your own Diocese. Some Bishops leave it to the Pastor of a Parish to decide what best fits that Parish. It is a non-issue where the rules are concerned.

Some folks make it an issue. That is for sure. No one is forced to hold hands. You have to use your own good sense when someone offers to hold hands with you. I, for one, could never refuse such and offer and then go on to pray the OUR Father. That very term, makes that person who offered their hand your brother or sister in Gods family. There is no other way to look at that.

Now, someone used the term “prayer position” for putting your hands together palm to palm. Who says that is a prayer position? Where does this come from? I was told that it is an Eastern Posture that did not ever have its start in Christianity.
The true Jewish/Christian prayer posture was Holy hands raised up to God. This was always the Catholic Prayer Posture and it is mentioned and allowed during the Our Father, in the Rubrics. The best I have been able to find about the palm to palm thing is that some nun borrowed it from the Moslems, years ago so that she could clearly see the kids hands. I have no way to substantiate this, maybe someone here can tell the origin.

I find this to be a strange debate. But… oh well, that is just me.
 
This is a quote from the article at the link I posted earlier.:

Granted, the holding of hands during the Lord’s Prayer seems to have become almost a tradition in some parishes throughout the country. Nevertheless, we must remember that this gesture is not prescribed, it is an innovation to the Mass, and in its goal to build unity and sensitivity, it can be alienating and insensitive to individuals.

We are a Universal Church. Different cultures, different expressions of affection. All should be made to feel welcome, including those who are not comfortable or distracted by hand-holding, IMHO, of course.🙂
 
It’s all weak. I’m tired of it. The Church isn’t a social hall. Have some respect! Keep you’re hands to yourself folded or whatever. Also, how about kneeling during the Eucharistic prayers (I believe that is the right word, forgive me if I’m wrong as I have a migrane over this hurricane. I’m speaking about when the Priest says “When supper was ended…”,etc). Show some respect! Unless you’re physically unable to kneel, you should be on you’re knees. I’m tirred of it and unfortunitly stuff like this has led many Catholics away from it’s teachings.
 
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