The picking-up some Pampers or a gallon of milk Mass?

[ElToro]

All of us have picked-up a bag of Pampers, a gallon of milk or perhaps coffee in the middle of the night or the first thing in the morning, immediately after rolling out of bed. Our hair isn’t combed, some of our faces need shaving and our attire often consists of gym shorts, pajama pants, utilitarian t-shirts and flip-flops.

I see more and more people attending early Sunday Mass in this condition and no, they don’t appear to be new parents. It’s chic these days around here (at least for college aged people) to go grocery shopping and out to eat for breakfast in their pajamas. This now seems to be spreading to people of other ages.

I was talking to someone I knew wearing the Big Lebowski uniform at Mass a while ago. I could still see the imprint of his comforter on the side of his head when he arrived for Mass. He said he needed to “get Mass out of the way” because he was going to play golf.

Do you see this at your parish? I would BET this guy showered and shaved and put on a collared shirt before he went to play golf. One has to wonder how much respect someone could have for the Mass if they would arrive in the condition he did.

 

[Will_S]

All of us have picked-up a bag of Pampers, a gallon of milk or perhaps coffee in the middle of the night or the first thing in the morning, immediately after rolling out of bed. Our hair isn’t combed, some of our faces need shaving and our attire often consists of gym shorts, pajama pants, utilitarian t-shirts and flip-flops.

I see more and more people attending early Sunday Mass in this condition …
Do you see this at your parish?

I sure don’t, but that’s because I go to a traditional parish where only the traditional Mass is celebrated and sacraments are dispensed only in the traditional form.

I would BET this guy showered and shaved and put on a collared shirt before he went to play golf. One has to wonder how much respect someone could have for the Mass if they would arrive in the condition he did.

Well it has been claimed that the Church is in a crisis, that there is mass apostasy among the faithful, that the bishops are, for the most part, ignoring their duty to teach the Faith and to rule the faithful, and that the new Mass is almost always celebrated irreverently thus contributing to the loss of faith and the damnation of souls.

Obviously that’s all a load of nonsense though, right? After all, no one would dare show up for Holy Mass having just rolled out of bed, or place greater importance on a round of golf than on God Himself.

Right?

 

[estesbob]

Better to show up unkempt than to not show up at all,

 

[Cat]

Sometimes the very best-laid plans don’t work out.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve planned a day and then one phone call sends the whole schedule awry.

That could have been what happened to the gentleman who had the imprint of the pillow on his head. He may have gone to bed early in order to get up early, and then gotten a late-night phone call from an adult child who needed Daddy’s shoulder to cry on for an hour or so.

Or he might have fallen asleep only to be awakened by an overflowing toilet, or a mouse in the house, or a noisy party at the neighbors.

Or he might have had a headache that made it hard for him to get out of bed at all. I get headaches at night, and it’s really hard to get up when I was awake from 3 a.m. on with a bad headache.

I think we should assume the best of people, and not judge them. We will often be in situations where we will look unkempt or be forced to stop by the store to pick up diapers before Mass, and we will hope that our pewmates aren’t judging us or thinking badly of us.

 

[EasterJoy]

Better to show up unkempt than to not show up at all,

Sure, but a fair question is how often those are the only two choices. The usual choices are:
a) Choose your clothing and groom yourself as you do for other important events in your life.
b) Go even though your clothing is inappropriate or you are ungroomed
c) Don’t go

Now, there are sometimes when (a) is not possible. In that case, yes, (b) is better than (c). We ought to try to assume when we see an ungroomed person or inappropriately-dressed person at Mass that they couldn’t do better. That doesn’t give one carte blanche to act as if (a) were impossible when it is possible for you, just because you know it isn’t possible for someone else.

IOW, there is a certain amount of fraud involved when you show up at Mass and expect people will charitably assume that you must have some extremity going on in your life when no such thing exists.

People commit this kind of fraud all of the time, and then they howl about prejudice against the poor when someone asks why no one bothers to groom themselves any more. The truth is, by showing up poorly groomed because they are lazy and not because they can’t do better, they’re the ones who are giving low standards of grooming a bad name! The funny thing is, the guys on the golf course don’t come out in pj’s, hair uncombed, looking like they just climbed out of bed. They even buy special shoes for the activity.

Sorry. The “can’t do better” defense looks pretty thin to me.

 

[EasterJoy]

Sometimes the very best-laid plans don’t work out.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve planned a day and then one phone call sends the whole schedule awry.

That could have been what happened to the gentleman who had the imprint of the pillow on his head. He may have gone to bed early in order to get up early, and then gotten a late-night phone call from an adult child who needed Daddy’s shoulder to cry on for an hour or so.

Or he might have fallen asleep only to be awakened by an overflowing toilet, or a mouse in the house, or a noisy party at the neighbors.

Or he might have had a headache that made it hard for him to get out of bed at all. I get headaches at night, and it’s really hard to get up when I was awake from 3 a.m. on with a bad headache.

I think we should assume the best of people, and not judge them. We will often be in situations where we will look unkempt or be forced to stop by the store to pick up diapers before Mass, and we will hope that our pewmates aren’t judging us or thinking badly of us.

The question is, how come we don’t have more people showing up for work looking like this? Because the same kind of thing must happen on weeknights, too, right?

I realize people call in sick and skip work for reasons and with a frequency undreamed of in past generations. Should any particular case be given the benefit of the doubt? Yes. Should anyone be taught that they are entitled to presume upon the benefit of the doubt? No. We ought to really do our best, even when we know that people are willing to be charitable when they get less.

I really don’t think that people who shake their heads at the prevalence of bad grooming at Mass are any more guilty of rash judgement than people who shake their heads about how it seems that there is a wave of the flu every time the weather is great. Maybe you can’t say who really has the flu, but you aren’t wrong to wonder if you’re being made a fool of.

 

[929dad]

I remember hearing a story about a woman who gave two copper coins at the temple out of her need while others gave gold coins from their excess…

I remember another story about a guy who liked to have dinner with those whom society considered unworthy of much at all…

I remember yet another story about a guy who had a hard time with the speck in his brother’s eye due to the big plank in his own…

I’m trying to figure out who told those stories… hmm… Oh, that’s right, JESUS!!!

Should we dress up for Mass? Of course we should. Are there times when we might not look our best for good reason? Sure. Are there times when we get lazy and don’t look as good as we could? Sure. Should we rush through Mass because of a tee time? Nope.

But, maybe we should rejoice with our brothers and sisters when we all gather in the House of The Lord. We all have stuff in our lives that we need to deal with. Is there a way to help each other while reflecting the command to love? Absolutely!

 

[Prodigal_Son1]

Better to show up unkempt than to not show up at all,

I agree with you bob. It’s what people cannot see with their eye that’s important.

 

[jpjd]

Better to show up unkempt than to not show up at all,

This is an “enabling” attitude. Sure it’s better to go to Mass than to not go, but to go looking as the OP describes borders on disrespect to the Eucharist to the point of offensiveness.

Now, let’s be clear, we are NOT talking about the homeless or the poor. We are talking about people who on a daily basis are perfectly capable of dressing up – and do dress up – to go to work, a date, a wedding, or even to a golf game, where a certain decorum is expected and given. Why is the Mass so disrespected, and the disrespect is excused and written off by saying God Loves Me As I Am. Yes, He loves us although we are sinners, but shouldn’t we at least TRY to overcome our sins and weaknesses? Shouldn’t we at least TRY to show the Lord some respect through our appearance before Him? Yes, we should!!!

 

[TheDoctor]

Oh Joy!! Another “how to dress for Mass thread”. I was beginning to wonder how we would make it through a whole week without one…

 

[Waylander]

Sure, but a fair question is how often those are the only two choices. The usual choices are:
a) Choose your clothing and groom yourself as you do for other important events in your life.
b) Go even though your clothing is inappropriate or you are ungroomed
c) Don’t go

Now, there are sometimes when (a) is not possible. In that case, yes, (b) is better than (c). We ought to try to assume when we see an ungroomed person or inappropriately-dressed person at Mass that they couldn’t do better. That doesn’t give one carte blanche to act as if (a) were impossible when it is possible for you, just because you know it isn’t possible for someone else.

IOW, there is a certain amount of fraud involved when you show up at Mass and expect people will charitably assume that you must have some extremity going on in your life when no such thing exists.

People commit this kind of fraud all of the time, and then they howl about prejudice against the poor when someone asks why no one bothers to groom themselves any more. The truth is, by showing up poorly groomed because they are lazy and not because they can’t do better, they’re the ones who are giving low standards of grooming a bad name! The funny thing is, the guys on the golf course don’t come out in pj’s, hair uncombed, looking like they just climbed out of bed. They even buy special shoes for the activity.

Sorry. The “can’t do better” defense looks pretty thin to me.

[BIBLEDRB]Luke 6:41-42[/BIBLEDRB]

I use to care as well, but I find that I need to keep my attention on my family and myself. I come from a military upbringing and I am considered to be very conservative in all things. However, if I am focused on girls wear short shorts, guys wearing t-shirts, flip flops, or torn jeans, I am not focused on what I am at church for in the first place. My connection to God and leading my family to the right path is my complete focus has to be. Really, that keeps me busy enough.

 

[Prodigal_Son1]

This is an “enabling” attitude. Sure it’s better to go to Mass than to not go, but to go looking as the OP describes borders on disrespect to the Eucharist to the point of offensiveness.

Now, let’s be clear, we are NOT talking about the homeless or the poor. We are talking about people who on a daily basis are perfectly capable of dressing up – and do dress up – to go to work, a date, a wedding, or even to a golf game, where a certain decorum is expected and given. Why is the Mass so disrespected, and the disrespect is excused and written off by saying God Loves Me As I Am. Yes, He loves us although we are sinners, but shouldn’t we at least TRY to overcome our sins and weaknesses? Shouldn’t we at least TRY to show the Lord some respect through our appearance before Him? Yes, we should!!!

And who gets to decide what is appropriate and what is not? Does it matter if we’re talking about up North in the winter, or in the deep South in the summer?

One cannot look at how someone is dressed and decide what’s in their heart; however, Christ can, and that’s what’s important. To make a judgment about someone’s ‘reverence’ by looking at the way they’re dressed is just that, judging.

Show us anywhere in scriptures that Christ, or the Apostles, spoke on how one dressed when in Church. The only place I know of speaks of modesty and avoiding plaited hair, gold, pearls, or costly attire…

1Ti 2:9 In like manner, women also in decent apparel: adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire:

 

[Love_Divine]

Would you roll out of bed to meet the queen without getting ready? Then why would you roll out of bed without getting ready to meet your King???

 

[LemonAndLime]

Better to show up unkempt than to not show up at all,

For once, estesbob, I agree with you.

 

[I_Thirst]

Oh Joy!! Another “how to dress for Mass thread”. I was beginning to wonder how we would make it through a whole week without one…

Yeah, these are basically just troll threads.

St Peter won’t let you in the Pearly Gates wearing those shoes!!!

 

[jpjd]

Oh my goodness, why does discussion on dress for Mass always turn into the extreme. I am NOT talking about dressing up in finery. I am talking about showing more respect than bed hair. If you feel that pajama pants and bed hair are appropriate for Mass, then surely they are appropriate for going to work, a date, a wedding, or a golf course. But no, if we dressed like that for those occasions, we would get fired from work, dumped by our date, looked at funny at the wedding, and refused entry at the golf course. But because the Lord won’t turn His back on us for slovenly dress, we take advantage of that and say, Lord, never mind my appearance, Just Look In My Heart. Why don’t we want to show the Lord that we took some forethought into worship of Him?

 

[estesbob]

This is an “enabling” attitude. Sure it’s better to go to Mass than to not go, but to go looking as the OP describes borders on disrespect to the Eucharist to the point of offensiveness.

Now, let’s be clear, we are NOT talking about the homeless or the poor. We are talking about people who on a daily basis are perfectly capable of dressing up – and do dress up – to go to work, a date, a wedding, or even to a golf game, where a certain decorum is expected and given. Why is the Mass so disrespected, and the disrespect is excused and written off by saying God Loves Me As I Am. Yes, He loves us although we are sinners, but shouldn’t we at least TRY to overcome our sins and weaknesses? Shouldn’t we at least TRY to show the Lord some respect through our appearance before Him? Yes, we should!!!

Should we dress appropriately for church? Absolutely! . Should we criticize those who show up at church that don’t? Absolutely not.

 

[Prodigal_Son1]

Should we dress appropriately for church? Absolutely! . Should we criticize those who show up at church that don’t? Absolutely not.

You’re on a roll bob, I agree with you again.

We do not know for what reasons people wear what they do, and we should not be judging them for however they’re dressed.

Appropriately is different for people of different walks of life. To me, a nice pair of jeans, a button down shirt and tennis shoes looks good. That’s how I would dress for almost any occasion people can come up with.

 

[jpjd]

I am not advocating criticizing people. I am advocating supporting *the expectation of respectful dress. *

Just as one pair of shoes does not fit all occasions, a given outward appearance does not fit all occasions. We like our churches to have a certain sacred architecture that enhance our worship, so dressing with respect (note: not finery) indicates a certain significance, a sense of being apart from our ordinary daily activities – the sacredness of the Mass.

 

[jpjd]

By the way, let us have a meeting of the minds on what we are talking about here. Jeans and a button-down shirt can be respectful. Re-read the OP’s post (quoted below). Are we now saying “gym shorts, pajama pants, utilitarian t-shirts and flip-flops” are acceptable Mass attire? If so, then don’t be surprised if your Mass is like the ones I read about on this board. It all comes down to attitude toward the Mass.

And this will be my final post on the matter.

All of us have picked-up a bag of Pampers, a gallon of milk or perhaps coffee in the middle of the night or the first thing in the morning, immediately after rolling out of bed. Our hair isn’t combed, some of our faces need shaving and our attire often consists of gym shorts, pajama pants, utilitarian t-shirts and flip-flops.

I see more and more people attending early Sunday Mass in this condition and no, they don’t appear to be new parents. It’s chic these days around here (at least for college aged people) to go grocery shopping and out to eat for breakfast in their pajamas. This now seems to be spreading to people of other ages.

I was talking to someone I knew wearing the Big Lebowski uniform at Mass a while ago. I could still see the imprint of his comforter on the side of his head when he arrived for Mass. He said he needed to “get Mass out of the way” because he was going to play golf.

Do you see this at your parish? I would BET this guy showered and shaved and put on a collared shirt before he went to play golf. One has to wonder how much respect someone could have for the Mass if they would arrive in the condition he did.