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HagiaSophia
Guest
Well apparently Zal Miller took her on today - funny!
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vern_humphrey
Guest
But would they HAVE llamas on your planet?
Do you get to inspect it ahead of time, and present a list of deficiencies to be corrected before you take possession?
There’s so much about this Rapture business I don’t understand.
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wabrams
Guest
vern humphrey:
And just as important, vern, do they have a John Deere dealership so you can buy a big 'ol tractor to cut that grass. You know, that would be kinda cool to cut the grass w/ a cooler of beer mowing on that tractor.But would they HAVE llamas on your planet?
Do you get to inspect it ahead of time, and present a list of deficiencies to be corrected before you take possession?
There’s so much about this Rapture business I don’t understand.
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Ya need a rifle rack on that tractor, too – never can tell when you’ll jump some big 'ol 10-pointer while cutting the grass.And just as important, vern, do they have a John Deere dealership so you can buy a big 'ol tractor to cut that grass. You know, that would be kinda cool to cut the grass w/ a cooler of beer mowing on that tractor.
They probably ought to have a first-class deer processing plant, too – one that makes summer sausage.
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wabrams
Guest
vern humphrey:
Mmmmmm…deer sausage. (lots of drooling)Ya need a rifle rack on that tractor, too – never can tell when you’ll jump some big 'ol 10-pointer while cutting the grass.
They probably ought to have a first-class deer processing plant, too – one that makes summer sausage.
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Lemee get this straight - I get my own planet, a John Deere riding mower, and all the venison sausage I can eat?
Where do I sign up for this rapture thing?
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wabrams
Guest
vern humphrey:
If that’s the case, I’m out.
But seriously, I went out with a girl for a few dates who was devout Independent Baptist. We had a lot of talks on religion, but unfortunately I don’t remember too much about the rapture. What I do remember was when she was talking about it, I thought she was pretty mental.
But let me guess, there’s a catch. I bets it’s no cable modem. That’s GOT to be it!Lemee get this straight - I get my own planet, a John Deere riding mower, and all the venison sausage I can eat?
Where do I sign up for this rapture thing?
If that’s the case, I’m out.But seriously, I went out with a girl for a few dates who was devout Independent Baptist. We had a lot of talks on religion, but unfortunately I don’t remember too much about the rapture. What I do remember was when she was talking about it, I thought she was pretty mental.
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Maccabees
Guest
Did he challenge her to a duel?
I would pay to see that one.
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Not so long ago, I worked a project that took me to the various Combat Maneuver Training Centers. At the Joint Readiness Training Center (Fort Polk, LA – the garden spot of the universeBut let me guess, there’s a catch. I bets it’s no cable modem. That’s GOT to be it!
But seriously, I went out with a girl for a few dates who was devout Independent Baptist. We had a lot of talks on religion, but unfortunately I don’t remember too much about the rapture. What I do remember was when she was talking about it, I thought she was pretty mental.
) one of the Observer-Controllers was quiet a talented cartoonist. You saw his cartoons everywhere.I especially liked one of them:
An Artilleryman is standing in the swamp, water up to his waist, rain coming down. “This SUCKS!”
An Infantryman is standing in the swamp, water up to his waist, rain coming down. “I kinda like the way this sucks!”
An Ranger is standing in the swamp, water up to his waist, rain coming down. “I wish this suck even more!”
An Air Force pilot is lying on the bed in a motel. “What! No cable TV? This SUCKS!”
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HagiaSophia
Guest
vern humphrey:
I figgers if it’s MY heaven and MY planet, I can have whatever it takes to keep it “heavenly”. I’m going to ride around on a unicorn, eat high carb food all the time, take about 30 years and lbs off, read all the books I want to, and have all the good bands play round the clock. Chocolate will be everywhere and I MAY, just MAY invite friends from the forum to visit and enjoy the food, the music and the library. For those who aren’t fond of riding unicorns, I’ll have a Lamborghini all gassed up and ready to travel between the stars and planets. I will expect however, some help at harvest time for the winery Im starting there. I’m thinking of naming it Galaxy Grapes - I 'spect to have a lot of fun mashing those reds, testing those whites, and I figure an olive grove or two, a fig tree or two and I’ll be all set.But would they HAVE llamas on your planet?
Do you get to inspect it ahead of time, and present a list of deficiencies to be corrected before you take possession?
There’s so much about this Rapture business I don’t understand.
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Yeah, but what are the property taxes on a place like that?
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HagiaSophia
Guest
Tractor? Who wants a tractor in heaven? Set awhile on the front porch and run one by remote - surely they have high tech electronic robots to do the work - I’ve worked on this side of the curtain - no more work when I hit my planet. You might want to stop on by and try a sample of wine from my Galaxy Grapes vineyard. I intend to grow some fine varieties of olives to drop into the othr likkers served there - I am looking for someone to run the bar concession though.And just as important, vern, do they have a John Deere dealership so you can buy a big 'ol tractor to cut that grass. You know, that would be kinda cool to cut the grass w/ a cooler of beer mowing on that tractor.
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HagiaSophia
Guest
I think the nicest thing he said was tht you could see horns sprouting up through her red hair - I love Zell. My kinda’ southern boy. I’d like the President to name him ambassador to France.Did he challenge her to a duel?
I would pay to see that one.
I expect we’d have a high old time in gay Paree.
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HagiaSophia
Guest
Whatchuwant wit cable for? You get to see humans on earth doing their thing; on one part of the planet they are growing crops, drinking wine and growing grapes, sking in Biarritz, taking the waters in Germany and in Paris you can watch Chirac, counting his kopeks. You can stand right near the 50 yard line at football games and don’t even have to stand in line to get in - I mean think of the places you can go without paying for a ticket. Then youll have friends who have their own planets and you can go visit and compare - stop by for a drink on my planet.But let me guess, there’s a catch. I bets it’s no cable modem. That’s GOT to be it!
You can watch all the variables of planetary life and travel, check out places you’ve never even dreamed of, see the circles of Saturn close up, whose got time for make believe Cable?
I mean raptured is raptured.
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HagiaSophia
Guest
vern humphrey:
No taxes in heaven - that’s the first thing I’m going to do, pass a law that everything is free, no tax, no insurance required against meteors or anything. This is heaven man - all those taxes ar gone. State Farm can kiss mah grits!Yeah, but what are the property taxes on a place like that?
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Benjamin Franklin said two things are inevatible, death and taxes. If you’re raptured, you only get to escape ONE of those, as I understand it.
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Katholikos
Guest
Well, who was the first? Darby created a timeline that broke history into “dispensations” and taught that that the “true church” would have to be removed from the earth in order to make way for God’s dealings with the Jews. This removal, when “the church” would be “caught up in the air,” is the Rapture. Did someone beat Darby to it?
BTW, youse guys, to clarify for those who may not know, become a God and rule your own planet is Mormon (the fate of “exalted” Mormon males" in the afterlife).
The Rapture is Protestant.
JMJ Jay
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vern_humphrey
Guest
Does this mean I don’t get a John Deere riding mower?
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Katholikos
Guest
vern humphrey:
Better than that – become a Mormon and make jillions of spirit-babies for your own planet by having non-stop s - e - x with your goddess-wife.Does this mean I don’t get a John Deere riding mower?
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HagiaSophia
Guest
Too much work. I’ve had a family. One’s enough.Better than that – become a Mormon and make jillions of spirit-babies for your own planet by having non-stop s - e - x with your goddess-wife.
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