The Rapture

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vern humphrey:
Does this mean I don’t get a John Deere riding mower? 🙂
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If you’ve got your own planet, it seems to me you can have a John Deere. Wave as you go by - I’ll be settin on the porch.
 
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Katholikos:
Better than that – become a Mormon and make jillions of spirit-babies for your own planet by having non-stop s - e - x with your goddess-wife. 😃
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I don’t want to make fun of the Latter Day Saints, but I highly recommend Mark Twain’s “Roughing It” with his fanciful interview with Brigham Young.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon10.gif
 
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Katholikos:
Well, who was the first? Darby created a timeline that broke history into “dispensations” and taught that that the “true church” would have to be removed from the earth in order to make way for God’s dealings with the Jews. This removal, when “the church” would be “caught up in the air,” is the Rapture. Did someone beat Darby to it?

BTW, youse guys, to clarify for those who may not know, become a God and rule your own planet is Mormon (the fate of “exalted” Mormon males" in the afterlife).

The Rapture is Protestant.

JMJ Jay
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It I get my own planet, I will indeed be “rapturous”.
 
vern humphrey:
I don’t want to make fun of the Latter Day Saints, but I highly recommend Mark Twain’s “Roughing It” with his fanciful interview with Brigham Young.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon10.gif
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One of my favorite authors of all time - no matter how many times I read him, I roar with laughter. I’ve learned not to read him while out in public and waiting rooms.

But one of my favorite stories is the one where all the angels in haeaven clang the cymbals and sound the trumpets because the stingy man in church puts a nickel in the collection basket.
 
vern humphrey:
Benjamin Franklin said two things are inevatible, death and taxes. If you’re raptured, you only get to escape ONE of those, as I understand it.
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Everyone else gets to make their own rules; I intend to make a few of my own. I’m not interfering with anyone else’s heaven, and I expect to run my own planet.
 
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HagiaSophia:
Everyone else gets to make their own rules; I intend to make a few of my own. I’m not interfering with anyone else’s heaven, and I expect to run my own planet.
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So what’ll gas cost on your planet?
 
vern humphrey:
So what’ll gas cost on your planet?
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It’s full tanks and free - no charge - I figger for visitors, I can barter.

And the unicorn gets all the grass he can eat.
 
vern humphrey:
Not if you don’t get your John Deere riding mower.

How would you know you’ve gone to Hell? – if you get your planet and a push mower.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
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That’s not hell - hell is having no place to shop, or go to the beauty shop. Now that’s hell. Every well raised American woman knows that. And you have to have tea - good English and Irish tea - these things are really important - I mean, eternity is a long, long time.
 
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Katholikos:
Well, who was the first? Darby created a timeline that broke history into “dispensations” and taught that that the “true church” would have to be removed from the earth in order to make way for God’s dealings with the Jews. This removal, when “the church” would be “caught up in the air,” is the Rapture. Did someone beat Darby to it?

BTW, youse guys, to clarify for those who may not know, become a God and rule your own planet is Mormon (the fate of “exalted” Mormon males" in the afterlife).

The Rapture is Protestant.

JMJ Jay
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He borrowed and enhanced some similar thought that were circulating in Scotland in the 17th century.
 
vern humphrey:
This post really bothers me – who changes all those little spirit-diapers?http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon10.gif
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Hi Vern,
Joseph Smith taught that those LDS who make it to the celestial kingdom (the highest of the 3 Mromon heavens), but do not become gods, spend eternity in the service of those who do become gods and goddesses.

Popular Mormon culture calls these servants “eternal baby-sitters”. :eek:

Grace to you,
Paul
 
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PaulDupre:
Hi Vern,
Joseph Smith taught that those LDS who make it to the celestial kingdom (the highest of the 3 Mromon heavens), but do not become gods, spend eternity in the service of those who do become gods and goddesses.

Popular Mormon culture calls these servants “eternal baby-sitters”. :eek:

Grace to you,
Paul
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Ah – so those in the top heaven have the spirit kids, those in the next heaven take care of them – and those in the lowest heaven, they wash the diapers?http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
 
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