C
Cure
Guest
Hello all,
I am half-way through my Caticism class, and am truely looking forward to becoming a full-fledged Catholic, but of all the new struggles I will have to deal with…this is one of the most difficult:
As a person who has been devorced, I understand that I can never again love anyone. As a 29 year old, the thought of having to live the rest of my life alone is…well…not a very comforting thought.
I admit that I caused the majority of the pain in my failed marriage…I was a very different person then, with an entirely different mind-set. Before getting into the Catholic faith, I thought that I would be able to take all of the mistakes that I made the first time around, and make myself a better man and a better husband for the next time. Needless to say; that hope was shot down…hard.
So now…due to my past deeds, which I deserve to suffer for…I’m caught up in this extremely difficult struggle with my emotions. I want a second chance, but I know that it’s not possible. In the beginning, I used to see happy couples playing with their children I couldn’t help but to feel a little sadness, envy, and more regret than words could express. But now that I’m deeper into the religion I have felt those emotions began to fade away little by little.
I almost feel as if…I’m becoming less of a human, and more like a robot. I feel that I have to be cold and emotionless, that I have to push women away, because that is the
only way that I can stop myself from develope an emotional attatchment. It is the only way that I can not fall in love with someone.
I sinned. I have to pay the price…and I accept that. But for anyone else who may be in a simular situation…how do you go on living your life like a normal person, knowing that you will have to be alone until the day you die?
I am half-way through my Caticism class, and am truely looking forward to becoming a full-fledged Catholic, but of all the new struggles I will have to deal with…this is one of the most difficult:
As a person who has been devorced, I understand that I can never again love anyone. As a 29 year old, the thought of having to live the rest of my life alone is…well…not a very comforting thought.
I admit that I caused the majority of the pain in my failed marriage…I was a very different person then, with an entirely different mind-set. Before getting into the Catholic faith, I thought that I would be able to take all of the mistakes that I made the first time around, and make myself a better man and a better husband for the next time. Needless to say; that hope was shot down…hard.
So now…due to my past deeds, which I deserve to suffer for…I’m caught up in this extremely difficult struggle with my emotions. I want a second chance, but I know that it’s not possible. In the beginning, I used to see happy couples playing with their children I couldn’t help but to feel a little sadness, envy, and more regret than words could express. But now that I’m deeper into the religion I have felt those emotions began to fade away little by little.
I almost feel as if…I’m becoming less of a human, and more like a robot. I feel that I have to be cold and emotionless, that I have to push women away, because that is the
only way that I can stop myself from develope an emotional attatchment. It is the only way that I can not fall in love with someone.
I sinned. I have to pay the price…and I accept that. But for anyone else who may be in a simular situation…how do you go on living your life like a normal person, knowing that you will have to be alone until the day you die?