The silly woman

[Sarcelle]

I’m sorry to say that there are too many single women out there without men. My husband works with at least 7 unmarried profession rocket scientists who love God (not all catholic … Some Mormon, some Protestant, some Budhist). He is prayin for them to not be so lonley often. I keep telling him, they are too good for the quality of men in their dating pool and they are probably happier alone. He states that they still need companionship, and I agree, IDK if a husband would cure the lonlyness for them though. It’s easier to get the single men into meeting women but it’s hard to find women single men, IMO. Probably because being female, I know more females.

Across the street there was a single, never been married, professional man whom my husband said was nice … He died alone at the age of 47 due to a heart attack. That really shook my husband to the core when it happened … So I would imagine there are many lonly men out there too.

Since I cannot read your tone on a written board, I just hope you do not mean to be patronizing. Nothing irks me more than people who think I am broken and need to be fixed just because I am single. I mean seriously, what’s it to them? Not all of us have a duty to get married.

 

[Sarcelle]

I think there are many. “Singles” know that they are able to do all these things but sometimes society doesn’t treat them that way.
To be honest it is not as bad in secular society, but if you are from a immigrant/religious community and not married by 30, reunions and family dinners can be painful. What I have learned to do is smile and move on.

Christians and especially Catholics are actually more at ease with single people than secular people. At least in my experience. Secular people tend to think that if you do not have a significant other of a different sex, you have a significant other of the same sex. Purposely not having a sexual relationship is unthinkable for a lot of secular people.

 

[EasterJoy]

I didn’t take what the OP posted as being hard on married people.

Well maybe I was looking on it from the perspective of being from a smaller community where if you are single you are indeed thought of as “silly” or “not adult”. I took her post as more tongue-in-cheek and reflecting the view of how some people she knows would see single people.

I had no idea how to take in opening post. If someone were to walk up to me and say something like that as a conversation starter, I would have no idea what on earth he or she was saying. I’d feel as if I were being subjected to some sort of amateur psychology test.

 

[thequeen]

I just turned fifty have never been married and I am fine with it.

 

[QuestLove]

Christians and especially Catholics are actually more at ease with single people than secular people. At least in my experience. Secular people tend to think that if you do not have a significant other of a different sex, you have a significant other of the same sex. Purposely not having a sexual relationship is unthinkable for a lot of secular people.

Well in my case it is the opposite. I cannot speak for the catholic case since most of my family is protestant. But definitely among secular people I have a much easier time. Most of my secular friends don’t seem to think it weird that I am unmarried and without kids. The christians spend much of their time trying to set me up. Maybe I need to hang out with more catholics

 

[Irishmom2]

I just turned fifty have never been married and I am fine with it.

Oh, so are you silly then?

Because according to the OP there is only silly or crafty (which apparently is not a good thing to be.)

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I had no idea how to take in opening post. If someone were to walk up to me and say something like that as a conversation starter, I would have no idea what on earth he or she was saying. I’d feel as if I were being subjected to some sort of amateur psychology test.

I don’t hear it much anymore, but I used to hear things like the OP all the time when I got engaged and then married. I married fairly young, and despite my academic, personal, and professional accomplishments (and my strong personality), I was told countless times that I was “male dependent”, afraid of being alone, and allowing a man to define my life.

I used to try to defend myself, but of course, then I was being “defensive”. After my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I was done dealing with this attitude from others. So, I just started saying (with a big smile) “Don’t worry, I’m sure that someday, you’ll find someone who loves you too”. Was it a nice thing to say? Nope. But if you’re going to insult my marriage, don’t expect kindness.

 

[pianistclare]

Only a silly woman sees strength and wisdom as incompatible with marriage, when in fact those qualities make you better suited to be a wife.

yup.

 

[Joy2day]

I didn’t take what the OP posted as being hard on married people.

Well maybe I was looking on it from the perspective of being from a smaller community where if you are single you are indeed thought of as “silly” or “not adult”. I took her post as more tongue-in-cheek and reflecting the view of how some people she knows would see single people.

Yes, you are right here. you understood it. I do know some ‘married’ people who masquerade as ‘do -gooders’ who cause more trouble by meddling in matters which are another person’s business, than they can imagine. eg. the ability of an adult woman to independently realise she has choices and the ability to manage on her own if she chooses. It amazes me how many people try to subtly hint to you that maybe you should ‘get a man’ - as if you had no idea that that option was out there…
I’ve even had religious people try to assist… Really its just trouble making. Yes, I am having a rant. & yes, it really is odd behaviour (esp in today’s society). :slapfight:

 

[jlc2k2]

Yes, you are right here. you understood it. I do know some ‘married’ people who masquerade as ‘do -gooders’ who cause more trouble by meddling in matters which are another person’s business, than they can imagine. eg. the ability of an adult woman to independently realise she has choices and the ability to manage on her own if she chooses. It amazes me how many people try to subtly hint to you that maybe you should ‘get a man’ - as if you had no idea that that option was out there…
I’ve even had religious people try to assist… Really its just trouble making. Yes, I am having a rant. & yes, it really is odd behaviour (esp in today’s society). :slapfight:

Honestly, I sympathize with the feeling that you are living a life that many people don’t understand or approve of. But that doesn’t mean that the solution is to disparage others and the choices they have made. Which you did in your original post whether you realized it or not.

The key word from your reply here should be the word SOME. Perhaps you are using satire or sarcasm but you just come off as doing the very thing that you are ranting about.

 

[EasterJoy]

I don’t hear it much anymore, but I used to hear things like the OP all the time when I got engaged and then married. I married fairly young, and despite my academic, personal, and professional accomplishments (and my strong personality), I was told countless times that I was “male dependent”, afraid of being alone, and allowing a man to define my life.

I used to try to defend myself, but of course, then I was being “defensive”. After my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I was done dealing with this attitude from others. So, I just started saying (with a big smile) “Don’t worry, I’m sure that someday, you’ll find someone who loves you too”. Was it a nice thing to say? Nope. But if you’re going to insult my marriage, don’t expect kindness.

I like the Miss Manners response. Stiffen your spine, furrow your brow, and say, “I beg your pardon?!?” It works rather nicely no matter which way the busybodies are trying to buffalo you.

I would eventually be tempted to say, “Well, I hate to chafe your knickers, but I’m not your-opinion-dependent. I did not ask for your opinion and I don’t owe you any explanations. Try finding yourself a social life that involves a bit more minding your own business. If that requires you to find a human being, so be it and good luck to you. Now go fly a kite.”

Simply refusing to respond to the subject or the pushy persons pushing it is more civilized, but that is a fairly tall order when it comes to the most persistent of these bores.

 

[Joy2day]

Honestly, I sympathize with the feeling that you are living a life that many people don’t understand or approve of. But that doesn’t mean that the solution is to disparage others and the choices they have made. Which you did in your original post whether you realized it or not.

The key word from your reply here should be the word SOME. Perhaps you are using satire or sarcasm but you just come off as doing the very thing that you are ranting about.

Oh well ‘i’m only human’ : wouldn’t you say??

 

[jlc2k2]

Oh well ‘i’m only human’ : wouldn’t you say??

Yep. We all are. Which doesn’t give any of us the right to act like we are better than others.

I came up with that all by myself by the way. I didn’t even have to ask my husband how to spell it.