The Single Vocation

[TiggerS]

Another excellent article on the single lay celibate state as vocation, including for those who may have impediments to marriage, religious life or the priesthood and not necessarily embracing the celibate state as their choice - rather single celibacy has come about through circumstance(s) and Divine Providence:

pathsoflove.com/blog/2008/08/single-vocation-marriage-or-religious-life/

Single vocation?
Someone was asking recently whether it is true that there are only two vocations–marriage and religious life–and that being single isn’t really a vocation.
Actually, when you get down to it, there is only one vocation: the vocation to love. In Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul says:
11. God created man in His own image and likeness(20): calling him to existence through love, He called him at the same time for love.God is love(21) and in Himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His own image and continually keeping it in being, God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion.(22) Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.
The last sentence is quoted in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 2392.

Now, what are the basic ways we fulfill that vocation? Love has to be self-giving, and if it is to be complete, it has to involve the whole person, body and soul. So our sexuality has to be included in the way we live out our vocation to love. Moreover, self-giving is most complete when we give not only the present moment, but also our future lives, so far as we can–the love should include commitment.
For these reasons, the normal ways of fulfilling the vocation to love are (1) marriage, and (2) dedicated virginity or celibacy–a committed single state.
Pope John Paul II continues in Familiaris Consortio:

Christian revelation recognizes two specific ways of realizing the vocation of the human person in its entirety, to love: marriage and virginity or celibacy

. Either one is, in its own proper form, an actuation of the most profound truth of man, of his being “created in the image of God.”

Read on HERE

Various articles on the Single Celibate Lay state as vocation

 

[TiggerS]

Of interest, the single celibate lay state as vocation is also very clearly stated by Pope Pius XII, before Vatican 2, in Sacra Virginitas in 1954 - hence the single celibate lay state is not a post Vatican 2 new innovation:

vatican.va/holy_father/pius_xii/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-xii_enc_25031954_sacra-virginitas_en.html

**ENCYCLICAL OF POPE PIUS XII **
ON CONSECRATED VIRGINITY
"SACRA VIRGINITAS"

1. And while this perfect chastity is the subject of one of the three vows which constitute the religious state,[9] and is also required by the Latin Church of clerics in major orders[10] and demanded from members of Secular Institutes,[11]

it also flourishes among many who are lay people in the full sense: men and women who are not constituted in a public state of perfection and yet by private promise or vow completely abstain from marriage and sexual pleasures, in order to serve their neighbor more freely and to be united with God more easily and more closely.

1. To all of these beloved sons and daughters who in any way have consecrated their bodies and souls to God, We address Ourselves, and exhort them earnestly to strengthen their holy resolution and be faithful to it.

Also from Sacra Virginitas:

1. Innumerable is the multitude of those who from the beginning of the Church until our time have offered their chastity to God.

Some have preserved their virginity unspoiled, others after the death of their spouse, have consecrated to God their remaining years in the unmarried state, and still others, after repenting their sins, have chosen to lead a life of perfect chastity; all of them at one in this common oblation, that is, for love of God to abstain for the rest of their lives from sexual pleasure.

May then what the Fathers of the Church preached about the glory and merit of virginity be an invitation, a help, and a source of strength to those who have made the sacrifice to persevere with constancy, and not take back or claim for themselves even the smallest part of the holocaust they have laid on the altar of God.

 

[Norseman82]

Another excellent article on the single lay celibate state as vocation, including for those who may have impediments to marriage, religious life or the priesthood and not necessarily embracing the celibate state as their choice - rather single celibacy has come about through circumstance(s) and Divine Providence:

pathsoflove.com/blog/2008/08/single-vocation-marriage-or-religious-life/

Various articles on the Single Celibate Lay state as vocation

Of interest, the single celibate lay state as vocation is also very clearly stated by Pope Pius XII, before Vatican 2, in Sacra Virginitas in 1954 - hence the single celibate lay state is not a post Vatican 2 new innovation:

Also from Sacra Virginitas:

Those articles/documents are referring to what I was referring to before - the consecrated life subset of “virginity for the sake of the kingdom” - not a separate “vocation to the single life” apart from “virginity for the sake of the kingdom”. So, basically we have been talking about the same thing…

 

[TiggerS]

Those articles/documents are referring to what I was referring to before - the consecrated life subset of “virginity for the sake of the kingdom” - not a separate “vocation to the single life” apart from “virginity for the sake of the kingdom”. So, basically we have been talking about the same thing…

We can agree to disagree:thumbsup:

 

[MaryRocks]

Single does not equal selfish. There are an inordinate number of faithful Catholics that are seeking marriage and having difficulty finding Catholic spouses. For every faithful young man at a parish there are at least six (maybe more) single faithful women. Then consider that there are issues of compatibility etc. It is inadvisable, and possibly sacrilegious, to marry someone you are not compatible with, just so people will quit harassing you and stop calling you names. Now consider that our parents’ generation have, against Church teaching, used artificial contraception and abortion. Simple math is against us, too. This generation was dealt a devastating blow from the Culture of Death and relativism. We are picking up the pieces and offering up our sufferings living in the ‘vocationless zone’ for the sins of our parents. Have a little bit of mercy on us.

(n.b.–not talking about consecrated single life, which is a vocation)

Edit: just saw that original poster was banned, but still feel my post speaks to the issue. If not, please feel free to remove.

 

[TiggerS]

There are also those single celibate persons who do not feel a call to marriage nor the consecrated life - or any institution or organization within The Church, who live out their single celibacy in some form of commitment to a ministry within The Church as witness to Catholicism and The Gospel in the secular world. Such a single celibate vocation is best affirmed by spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis.

 

[barb_finnegan]

There are also those single celibate persons who do not feel a call to marriage nor the consecrated life - or any institution or organization within The Church, who live out their single celibacy in some form of commitment to a ministry within The Church as witness to Catholicism and The Gospel in the secular world. Such a single celibate vocation is best affirmed by spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis.

But what if you can’t find a decent spiritual director? That’s my problem right now.

I’m single by both personal choice and by circumstance.

I tried things such as Third Orders, and they didn’t work out for me.

I’m better off being alone, IMHO…that way I don’t get hurt.

And I don’t do any kind of ‘ministry’ (that’s the wrong word to use-it should be ‘apostolate’ when it comes to the laity. ‘Ministry’ should only be used in context with the ordained priesthood). I live a quiet, ordinary, hidden life. I don’t go running around trying to save the world-I have a hard enough time saving my own soul!

 

[blueadept]

But what if you can’t find a decent spiritual director?
And I don’t do any kind of ‘ministry’ (that’s the wrong word to use-it should be ‘apostolate’ when it comes to the laity. ‘Ministry’ should only be used in context with the ordained priesthood). I live a quiet, ordinary, hidden life. I don’t go running around trying to save the world-I have a hard enough time saving my own soul!

I’ve heard the term ‘Lay Ministers’ and ‘Lay Ministeries’ so much that I’m surprised by your definition. Of course, the fact that our parish has ‘Ministeries Faire’ at the end of August each year and has folks from the Spanish and English communities involved may be skewing my opinion here. LoM, KofC, bible study groups, bereavement committees, altar servers, Lectors, etc, are very well represented. My favorite t-shirt summarizes my thought about these ministeries.

“CATHOLICISM - It’s not a Spectator Sport”

My 2 cents

 

[TiggerS]

barb finnegan

But what if you can’t find a decent spiritual director? That’s my problem right now.

And it is a problem that The Lord is permitting for some reason (theology of The Permissive Will of God). Trust Him. I went 20 years without being able to find a director - it was an exercise in trusting in God. I think it was St. Teresa of Avila who said that if one cannot find a director, then simply put oneself trustfully in God’s Hands.

I’m single by both personal choice and by circumstance.

I tried things such as Third Orders, and they didn’t work out for me.

I’m better off being alone, IMHO…that way I don’t get hurt.

If Third Orders did not work out for you then probably you do not have a call to them. Although it sounds as if you have a fear of being hurt and to some degree or other we all probably fear that; however, to base important decisions on a fear is probably not the best of moves. Have you thought about therapy or counselling?

And I don’t do any kind of ‘ministry’ (that’s the wrong word to use-it should be ‘apostolate’ when it comes to the laity. ‘Ministry’ should only be used in context with the ordained priesthood). I live a quiet, ordinary, hidden life. I don’t go running around trying to save the world-I have a hard enough time saving my own soul!

Actually, I prefer “apostolate” too. I use “ministry” because it seems to be a word used with a common understanding of definition. I also live a quite and very ordinary hidden type of life in the main - but now and then something crops up that asks me to state my religious profession. Or some circumstance occur where I am called to follow The Gospel. To embrace some particular apostolate or ministry does not mean of necessity that one “go running around trying to save the world”. I do have a ministry or apostolate within The Church - but it is quite an ordinary everyday type of matter.
I have a hard time saving my soul too and probably quite a few of us, if not all, do also.

 

[barb_finnegan]

barb finnegan

And it is a problem that The Lord is permitting for some reason (theology of The Permissive Will of God). Trust Him. I went 20 years without being able to find a director - it was an exercise in trusting in God. I think it was St. Teresa of Avila who said that if one cannot find a director, then simply put oneself trustfully in God’s Hands.

I’m TRYING to ‘trust God’ with regards to a spiritual director, and yet I’ve kind of ‘given up’ in finding one. It seems that every time I’ve found a good one, he * either got transferred or had more responsibilities placed on his shoulders.

If Third Orders did not work out for you then probably you do not have a call to them. Although it sounds as if you have a fear of being hurt and to some degree or other we all probably fear that; however, to base important decisions on a fear is probably not the best of moves. Have you thought about therapy or counselling?

I’m not working right now, and ‘therapists and counselors’ cost money, which I don’t have. And besides, I have no trust at all in ‘shrinks’.

Actually, I prefer “apostolate” too. I use “ministry” because it seems to be a word used with a common understanding of definition. I also live a quite and very ordinary hidden type of life in the main - but now and then something crops up that asks me to state my religious profession. Or some circumstance occur where I am called to follow The Gospel. To embrace some particular apostolate or ministry does not mean of necessity that one “go running around trying to save the world”. I do have a ministry or apostolate within The Church - but it is quite an ordinary everyday type of matter.
I have a hard time saving my soul too and probably quite a few of us, if not all, do also.*

I’m really no good at any sort of work. I’m no genius at organizing anything. And I get tired of all the prattling on about ‘using your gifts and talents’. Well, there are some who don’t have any! And I’m one of them!

 

[barb_finnegan]

This is for Tigger (I can’t figure out how to ‘take apart’ long postings for comment):

I have TRIED to ‘trust God’ in searching for a spiritual director, but I’ve pretty much given up doing so-the searching part, that is. It seems that in the past, whenever I found a good one, he * always got transferred or had more responsibilities placed on his shoulders. I don’t like to bother priests anymore than I have to, and I hate playing ‘phone tag’ with them.

I haven’t worked in three years, so money is rather tight. Therapists and / counsellors cost money. I am what I am, so I don’t need some ‘shrink’ to say that I’m depressed or crazy. Besides that, I don’t trust ‘shrinks’.

I have no genius for organizing things. I detest the constant prattling about ‘using your gifts and talents’-what if you DON’T HAVE ANY ‘GIFTS AND TALENTS’? I’M ONE OF THEM!

I prefer my simple, humble and hidden life. I try to be nice and helpful ‘in small ways’ to people; I’m not a total hermit. I’m trying to ‘fly under the radar’, being alone as I am.

My :twocents:, and end of rant.*

 

[TiggerS]

This is for Tigger (I can’t figure out how to ‘take apart’ long postings for comment):

I have TRIED to ‘trust God’ in searching for a spiritual director, but I’ve pretty much given up doing so-the searching part, that is. It seems that in the past, whenever I found a good one, he * always got transferred or had more responsibilities placed on his shoulders. I don’t like to bother priests anymore than I have to, and I hate playing ‘phone tag’ with them.

I haven’t worked in three years, so money is rather tight. Therapists and / counsellors cost money. I am what I am, so I don’t need some ‘shrink’ to say that I’m depressed or crazy. Besides that, I don’t trust ‘shrinks’.

I have no genius for organizing things. I detest the constant prattling about ‘using your gifts and talents’-what if you DON’T HAVE ANY ‘GIFTS AND TALENTS’? I’M ONE OF THEM!

I prefer my simple, humble and hidden life. I try to be nice and helpful ‘in small ways’ to people; I’m not a total hermit. I’m trying to ‘fly under the radar’, being alone as I am.

My :twocents:, and end of rant.*

Sorry bout the long posts. I never ever had a gift for few words.

Barb, if where it is at for you is in the simple, humble and hidden life and trying to be nice and helpful in small ways - with a desire to fly under the radar, then go with that with confidence and trust in God. If you find your Joy and Peace in this way of life, rest in that is my advice. You have a couple of great patrons that spring immediately to mind. Our Lady, St. Joseph and St. Therese!
I did strive to ‘fly under the radar’ for many years and for good reasons and you have some sound reasons from your post above it seems to me - recently I have stuck my neck out in the parish and thus diocese and am waiting to see my head rolling down the street, I’m used to that scenario.- I shall see what I shall see and hoping against hope it is not my head off my shoulders.

 

[MissRose73]

I am in my late 30’s myself. I would like to marry and have a family but there are not many eligible Catholic men, and I’ve lived in many areas. I have not had a calling to the religious life as a sister or a nun.

If I am meant to marry, then it will happen. Otherwise, I will have to be content with being a working woman, attending Mass, pursuing various interests, and doing good deeds.

 

[TiggerS]

I am in my late 30’s myself. I would like to marry and have a family but there are not many eligible Catholic men, and I’ve lived in many areas. I have not had a calling to the religious life as a sister or a nun.

If I am meant to marry, then it will happen. Otherwise, I will have to be content with being a working woman, attending Mass, pursuing various interests, and doing good deeds.

Hi Miss Rose
Since you would like to marry and have a family (and do not feel called to religious life) but have not to date met a prospective partner for marriage, then you would be in a ‘default position’ and called to live in the single state and where your attraction lay, as in your last paragraph above. This is different from a single person who feels called by God to live in the single state as their call and vocation, feeling no attraction to religious life nor to the married state. Some religious orders do have Third Orders or similar where a single person can make private vows. There are also secular institutes. But some single men and women do not feel called to any of these either. We are all without exemption called to holiness and our baptism is our consecration to Christ and His Gospel and to holiness.

With the single state as one’s actual call and vocation it is always most wisely and prudently affirmed by spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis. In fact any baptized Catholic ideally would seek a spiritual director.