The top 5 things every Catholic should do before tieing the knot

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#1 Check out Chosen and Cherished by Kimberly Hahn. It’s new and it’s wonderful. I did a Bible Study with her last year that went to over the same material. It focuses on Proverbs 31 (the good wife proverb). It’s incredibly beautiful and draws from lots of other scripture passages as well. It’s an amazing book that is meant for people just like you. This will really help with picking out your readings

#2 Spend plenty of time picking our your readings. Read them, meditate on them. Think about what you think God wants to tell you from the scriptures on your wedding day. If you spend time praying with those scriptures before your wedding day, it will amaze you how beautifully they speak to you on your wedding day. I cried during my readings. 🙂

#3 Spend time with the Rite of Marriage. They should give you a little book that goes through the rite and you get to pick out the prayers. If you spend time with them and learning what they mean, they will mean a lot more to you on your wedding day. If you just pick them out and forget about them, you’ll hardly notice they were even said. Also, it will teach you something about marriage to go over the rite because “the Church prays as she believes.”

I got married last August and these 3 things definitely helped my husband and me spiritual prepare for our marriage.
 
ChefEmily said:
#1 Check out Chosen and Cherished by Kimberly Hahn. It’s new and it’s wonderful. I did a Bible Study with her last year that went to over the same material. It focuses on Proverbs 31 (the good wife proverb). It’s incredibly beautiful and draws from lots of other scripture passages as well. It’s an amazing book that is meant for people just like you. This will really help with picking out your readings
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Steubie U grad? I did the same bible study with her a few years back when I was there. WOW! I frequently go back and reread that proverb and meditate on the meaning of being a wife.

As for the OP. Talk a lot. Pray together. Make plans for your future: where you will live, who will be working, how you will manage your money, how will the kids be raised, how much involvement from families? Anything you can think of.
 
kristacecilia said:
Steubie U grad? I did the same bible study with her a few years back when I was there. WOW! I frequently go back and reread that proverb and meditate on the meaning of being a wife…
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Not yet, I’m a senior. I love it here 🙂
 
Hey! I go to Franciscan too (I’m the OP of this thread.)
Graduating from the Master’s in Counseling program in May.

That Hahn book sounds so good! My fiance read Proverbs 31 to me right before he proposed! So it would be the perfect book. Thank you for the tip. And I can’t wait to pick out our readings 🙂
 
That’s awesome! I’m a Theology/Catechetics major.

What a sweet way to propose! Our engagement story was in the Troub last week 🙂 (slightly inaccurate though).

I’m sure you’ll love the book…it’s in the bookstore with all the other Hahn stuff.

Have a great engagement!
 
It’s like a FUS reunion in here.

My husband proposed to me near the steel cross almost 6 years ago and we were married in St. Pete’s 5 years ago in May. We had pictures taken at the Port, in the Chapel, and at St. Pete’s. I bet I am one of the only brides to have pictures in three different churches!

I am going to have to get my sister to pick up that book. It sounds awesome! 🙂
 
Haha wow- I’m getting married at St. Peter’s on August 9 of this year. And I just got back from a friend’s house who got married at Christ the King and was looking at her wedding pictures taken by the Portiuncula and they were beautiful.
Small world. Did Msgr. Yontz marry you?

I should probably start a new thread about this but I was wondering what kind of liturgical choices you made about your wedding ceremonies- like did you have the father walk the bride down the aisle? Did you hold a crucifix while exchanging your vows? Did you have the groom kiss the bride at the end?
 
Stella_Matutina said:
Haha wow- I’m getting married at St. Peter’s on August 9 of this year. And I just got back from a friend’s house who got married at Christ the King and was looking at her wedding pictures taken by the Portiuncula and they were beautiful.
Small world. Did Msgr. Yontz marry you?

I should probably start a new thread about this but I was wondering what kind of liturgical choices you made about your wedding ceremonies- like did you have the father walk the bride down the aisle? Did you hold a crucifix while exchanging your vows? Did you have the groom kiss the bride at the end?
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Yes, Msgr, Yontz did marry us- what a great old priest! I love him. The next May he baptized our first son (we were there for my graduation weekend).

We had my dad walk me down the aisle. I have never heard of the crucifix while exchanging vows thing- I like it, though. I think we kissed at the very end.
 
Congrats on your engagement and setting your date. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary last Sunday so things are still pretty fresh in my mind about our wedding.
First, relax because the wedding isn’t the most important thing! I can say that because ours went horribly wrong from the beginning when my husband showed up missing his shoes AND tie. He borrowed my Uncles… it just went down hill from there. Including the lector forgetting the reading and the singer sang the wrong verses in the wrong order. BUT we DID get married!! 😃 In the end I didn’t remember a single thing of the actual marriage ceremony because it happens so fast.
Second, my husband and I did nightly discussions from a book called, " Night Light," by Dr. James Dobson. It’s ecumenical but based on Christianity and VERY thought provoking. We did this book for 6 months and never missed a night. By the end we knew exactly where each of us stood on everything.
Good luck and God bless…
 
Before my husband and I got married we began a 54 day Padre Pio Rosary novena for the following intentions: 1) We would have a long and loving marriage, 2) that we would have many children who would long outlive us, and 3) that there would be many conversions as a result of the sacraments at our marriage. We prayed the last rosary of that novena a few hours before our wedding, and I prayed it using my husband’s wedding gift to me: a home-made crystal rosary! It was beautiful, all of it. And there have been conversions that we know about and probably a few in progress.

The other 4 on the list:
  • Pray for the grace to trust God throughout your marriage no matter what, and have big things in mind
  • Attend adoration together as much as possible
  • Find a few good couples to hang out with that will help you on your journey
  • Read some good literature, like what’s been suggested… has Familiaris Consortio come up yet??
God Bless!
 
My wonderful wife and I were married this past summer. I don’t have five suggestions (that haven’t already been mentioned) but here’s a couple:
  1. start charting and working on your NFP stuff NOW. The more data you have and the more you’ve looked at it, the easier it will be to interpret it when you are actually trying to achieve/avoid pregnancy.
    2)Go to Confession! Start your married life off right. Our priest met me in the basement in a storage closet 5 min. before the ceremony and it was one of the most meaningful moment in my life.
 
I won’t repeat what others have said, but I don’t think I’ve seen this one: Take a good look at your in-laws to be. Observe how they relate to each other and to your beloved. That goes for siblings and extended family if they are close. I was blessed with wonderful in-laws, but that didn’t mean there were no surprises to deal with. My husband has a lot of the same ways of dealing with things as my father-in-law. They aren’t all bad either, but they didn’t show up until we were living the married life. This Aug. will be 40 years for us. Praise God!
May you and your beloved walk hand in hand through life into the Heart of God, the great ocean of God’s love.
 
Other than the current outstanding suggestions (a little overlap & duplication). As presented to me by my Dad (may he RIP)…

In no order and you’ve hopefully already thought about or had the discussions.

Potential Illness… Would you both ready emotionally for it should something happen to one or both? How would you handle it and what types of things would you do? Can you wipe each other’s behinds and much more beyond that?

Money… Define who is the spender, who is the saver and how to reconcile it. Can you work out a budget to satisfy both and be content with the lifestyle that brings? Financial Goals and timing? Who will monitor the money and how will it be discussed?

Children… How many, when and everything that comes with it?

Career goals… Are you both content if someone was called to relocate?

Take Pre-Cana classes very seriously.

Things are easier when things are good. Life has a way of throwing curve balls though that can challenge people and things in a multitude of ways.
 
See if you can go to Catholic Marriage classes as far as in advance of your marriage as possible. Properly done classes will initiate important dialogue with plenty of time to fully discuss and understand.
 
I personally would not recommend anything by the Hahn’s as they are generally pretty weak on practicality, I attended one of Kimberly Hahn’s Bible studies and found her very protestant and even a little negative regarding marriage.

The most amazing book to read preparing for marriage is Love and Responsibility, but Three to Get Married, and the Four Loves, are also very good. Also by C.S. Lewis, Perelandra, and That Hideous Strength, are amazing, fictional stories that really develope his understanding of the roles of men and women in marriage.
 
5 Talk about everything
4 Pray
3 repeat 5 and 4 as needed
2 Relax - after all you’ve already talk about everything - still worried see 4
1 Enjoy your Wedding Day

This is the best advice I’ve seen yet! But I’ll add this…one I’m still learning the hard way after nearly 8 (GULP!) years…If a huge affair is not in your budget–then do something that is. There’s a lot to be said for not starting your lfie together with a huge debt hanging over your head. 👍
 
Before tying the knot? Learn how to the tie knot correctly. No granny knots.
There *will *be a test.

Matthew
 
Congratulations. This thread is helpful to me, not engaged but dating the best Catholic man ever (sorry, I found the best one). Thanks for posting.
 
Jofantioch said:
Congratulations. This thread is helpful to me, not engaged but dating the best Catholic man ever (sorry, I found the best one). Thanks for posting.
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Obviously you meant the best SINGLE Catholic man. Because I’ve got the best married Catholic man. 😛
 
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