The ugly taste of Envy

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chevalier said:
Grace, I actually meant it the way that the prince needs to clean the sword and the horse and polish the armour to be presentable when he rides by, so you might as well sweep the palace a bit, you know. šŸ˜ƒ I know, sounds bad and is a total romance killer, but itā€™s always better than being given books to read on how to be a good spouse or parent when youā€™re single, isnā€™t it? šŸ˜ƒ
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Sweep the palace?
Noā€¦ I will get on my horse and ride out to search himā€¦ I must do my part. He might run into another princess or get bewitched on his way so staying in the castle and waiting is no option for a real heroine.
šŸ‘
 
Here is why I envy you
  1. Marriage is no piece of cake. It is hard work and sometimes you arenā€™t on the same page for years even though when you married it seemed you were.
  2. I wouldnā€™t have to get up in the wee hours of the morning to take care of a crying child and then wake up early to get the others off to school and then remain up and tired the rest of the day to do all the things required for a family
  3. I could have my own place. My things would be were I put them. No one else would mess it up. I wouldnā€™t find shoes/toys to trip over. I wouldnā€™t have to do many many loads of laundry.
  4. I could eat whatever I want whenever I want. I wouldnā€™t have to try to get a picky eater to eat something nutritious Iā€™ve worked hours on just to sit there see and hear the lack of appreciation.
  5. I could spend a lot of time in prayer because I wouldnā€™t have so many others needs to fulfill.
  6. I wouldnā€™t have to see the wisdom I have to give my children rejected.
  7. There would be periods of silence.
  8. I wouldnā€™t have to clean up urine all over the toilet, floor, side of the sink and the shower curtain.
  9. I wouldnā€™t have to listen to potty talk, fart noises, burps, and the words poop and pee wouldnā€™t be a daily part of my vocabulary.
The grass isnā€™t always greener on the other side of the fence. If it seems that way, it is because you havenā€™t noticed the manure put down to make it so.

All stations in life have up and down sides. If you are single now enjoy it, because should marriage be your vocation, there may come a day when you look back and think I wish I could just have one moment there.
 
mom2boyz said:
Here is why I envy you
  1. Marriage is no piece of cake. It is hard work and sometimes you arenā€™t on the same page for years even though when you married it seemed you were.
  2. I wouldnā€™t have to get up in the wee hours of the morning to take care of a crying child and then wake up early to get the others off to school and then remain up and tired the rest of the day to do all the things required for a family
  3. I could have my own place. My things would be were I put them. No one else would mess it up. I wouldnā€™t find shoes/toys to trip over. I wouldnā€™t have to do many many loads of laundry.
  4. I could eat whatever I want whenever I want. I wouldnā€™t have to try to get a picky eater to eat something nutritious Iā€™ve worked hours on just to sit there see and hear the lack of appreciation.
  5. I could spend a lot of time in prayer because I wouldnā€™t have so many others needs to fulfill.
  6. I wouldnā€™t have to see the wisdom I have to give my children rejected.
  7. There would be periods of silence.
  8. I wouldnā€™t have to clean up urine all over the toilet, floor, side of the sink and the shower curtain.
  9. I wouldnā€™t have to listen to potty talk, fart noises, burps, and the words poop and pee wouldnā€™t be a daily part of my vocabulary.
The grass isnā€™t always greener on the other side of the fence. If it seems that way, it is because you havenā€™t noticed the manure put down to make it so.

All stations in life have up and down sides. If you are single now enjoy it, because should marriage be your vocation, there may come a day when you look back and think I wish I could just have one moment there.
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and would you trade it in? Donā€™t think soā€¦

I would trade everything to live that life.
 
GraceDK said:
I havent felt this way beforeā€¦ until lately I never felt envious towards anyone about anythingā€¦
I just feel right now that everyone is finding husbands and wives and girl friends and boy friends and the great fish in the sea are getting fewer while I am getting olderā€¦
And I just feel that the smile I put on my face while I congratulate other people on their new found happiness is fake. Its sarcasticā€¦ its lonelyā€¦
I hate this feeling šŸ˜¦
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The saints smiled when they were not happy, because they desired to be charitable. Keep smiling šŸ™‚
 
mom2boyz said:
Here is why I envy you
  1. Marriage is no piece of cake. It is hard work and sometimes you arenā€™t on the same page for years even though when you married it seemed you were.
  2. I wouldnā€™t have to get up in the wee hours of the morning to take care of a crying child and then wake up early to get the others off to school and then remain up and tired the rest of the day to do all the things required for a family
  3. I could have my own place. My things would be were I put them. No one else would mess it up. I wouldnā€™t find shoes/toys to trip over. I wouldnā€™t have to do many many loads of laundry.
  4. I could eat whatever I want whenever I want. I wouldnā€™t have to try to get a picky eater to eat something nutritious Iā€™ve worked hours on just to sit there see and hear the lack of appreciation.
  5. I could spend a lot of time in prayer because I wouldnā€™t have so many others needs to fulfill.
  6. I wouldnā€™t have to see the wisdom I have to give my children rejected.
  7. There would be periods of silence.
  8. I wouldnā€™t have to clean up urine all over the toilet, floor, side of the sink and the shower curtain.
  9. I wouldnā€™t have to listen to potty talk, fart noises, burps, and the words poop and pee wouldnā€™t be a daily part of my vocabulary.
The grass isnā€™t always greener on the other side of the fence. If it seems that way, it is because you havenā€™t noticed the manure put down to make it so.

All stations in life have up and down sides. If you are single now enjoy it, because should marriage be your vocation, there may come a day when you look back and think I wish I could just have one moment there.
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True that. Iā€™m actually enjoying my single time with that in mind.
GraceDK said:
Sweep the palace?
Noā€¦ I will get on my horse and ride out to search himā€¦ I must do my part. He might run into another princess or get bewitched on his way so staying in the castle and waiting is no option for a real heroine.šŸ‘
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Oh, but if you donā€™t allow him to be tested, you will never know! And if you save him, he wonā€™t be able to save you and that would be so uncanonical! šŸ˜ƒ
 
chevalier said:
Oh, but if you donā€™t allow him to be tested, you will never know! And if you save him, he wonā€™t be able to save you and that would be so uncanonical! šŸ˜ƒ
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Chevalierā€¦ get realā€¦šŸ˜‰ If you test a man in todays world he gives up immediately. Believe meā€¦ I just tested someoneā€¦ actually I wanted just a minimal effort on his side and he could not even give me that. He was only full of impressive words but no action šŸ˜¦ If I dont get ā€œinto the gameā€ other Christian girls will go get the few serious Christian men while I " am sweeping the castle"ā€¦ thats my oppinion.
This is not ā€œSense and Sensibilityā€ where Hugh Grant will come knock at my door and say: ā€œI thought about it and its you I wantā€ā€¦

mom2boyz I realise being a wife and mother is a challenging vocation where you often feel exhausted. But I hope to become one anyway.
I long to give my selfā€¦
 
GraceDK said:
I long to give my selfā€¦
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And it is with this attitude you should do each and every dayā€¦

Whether for a friend, neighbor, those you meet, those you encounter, others everywhere you go or areā€¦

The rest (of His plan for you) will fall into placeā€¦ out of the blue šŸ‘ .
 
You are trading one thing for another. Not better not worse. And you canā€™t say how you would feel in the situation. You havenā€™t sat on this side of the fence, but Iā€™ve sat on your side of the fence. Once you are over here there is no going back. It is easy to envy what you donā€™t truly understand. I think you idealize it too much. It is very much being in the trenches day in and day out for years on end. Sure there are good thing about it, but there are some lousy things too. Just as there are good things about being single (which was my point) and lousy things too. Marriage doesnā€™t solve that it just changes the good and lousy things.
 
mom2boyz said:
You are trading one thing for another. Not better not worse. And you canā€™t say how you would feel in the situation. You havenā€™t sat on this side of the fence, but Iā€™ve sat on your side of the fence. Once you are over here there is no going back. It is easy to envy what you donā€™t truly understand. I think you idealize it too much. It is very much being in the trenches day in and day out for years on end. Sure there are good thing about it, but there are some lousy things too. Just as there are good things about being single (which was my point) and lousy things too. Marriage doesnā€™t solve that it just changes the good and lousy things.
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This is not Catholic teachingā€¦and DONā€™T TELL ME I donā€™t understand. I understand full well.
 
GraceDK said:
Chevalierā€¦ get realā€¦šŸ˜‰ If you test a man in todays world he gives up immediately. Believe meā€¦ I just tested someoneā€¦ actually I wanted just a minimal effort on his side and he could not even give me that. He was only full of impressive words but no action šŸ˜¦
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If that were true, at least of all men, then it would be better to stay single. And by this I mean much better. Can you imagine being married to someone who will give up in the face of any trial if you leave him unattended? I can and I would have none of that! Iā€™d much rather be single and able to engage in my hobbies, read books, play computer games with a storyline, spend time with friends, write some, get social in other ways.

In our light-hearted example, however, my point was that if you canā€™t count on a man to be interested unless you henpeck him, then itā€™s not worth the effort. The moment he breaks the hold you have on him, then heā€™s lost to you. There needs to be something more than constant supervision. When youā€™re married, either you or he may be away for months. What will happen then?
If I dont get ā€œinto the gameā€ other Christian girls will go get the few serious Christian men while I " am sweeping the castle"ā€¦ thats my oppinion.
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I didnā€™t say sit back and skip men. Contrary, be ready for when the ā€œright oneā€ or simply ā€œthe oneā€ or whatever you call him pops up in your life. Read up on things, develop your skills, social and otherwise, improve yourself in some way as the time passes. The time we spend pursuing pointless relationships or pointless interaction with the wrong people will not be returned to us.
 
mom2boyz said:
You are trading one thing for another. Not better not worse. And you canā€™t say how you would feel in the situation. You havenā€™t sat on this side of the fence, but Iā€™ve sat on your side of the fence. Once you are over here there is no going back. It is easy to envy what you donā€™t truly understand. I think you idealize it too much. It is very much being in the trenches day in and day out for years on end. Sure there are good thing about it, but there are some lousy things too. Just as there are good things about being single (which was my point) and lousy things too. Marriage doesnā€™t solve that it just changes the good and lousy things.
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Mom2boys
Your post was directed at me and I understand your point full well.
Thank you for encouraging me. I dont idealiseā€¦ not too muchā€¦ but having been in love and felt what it means to be two, I long for that again.
I advice you to every morning pray for a few minutes for strength and joy ā€¦ These prayers do make a differenceā€¦ šŸ™‚
Thank you again.
 
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