The Value of Virginity for Marriage

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Atruthseeker2.0 said:
In addition since she has given her self away could she actually give herself fully to me as I would to her. I was told no by a very influential theology teacher that she could never give herself fully to you. Every time you give yourself away you lose a piece of yourself. I won’t go into to much details about the theology teacher, but I will say he is the real deal.
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This doesn’t sound right. I would defer to St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. Read stuff from Jason Evert and his wife Crystalina. Visit https://chastity.com/. They also have a section called Starting Over. There is also the Theology of the Body Institute (https://tobinstitute.org/)
Honestly I wouldn’t want to marry someone who isn’t a virgin, just seems there could be a lot of problems otherwise and the divorce numbers aren’t very good either.
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Well, what about widows? Or what about a very devout girl/woman who once wasn’t living the faith, but is now an extremely devout Catholic - the most dedicated Catholic woman you ever met?

You should not automatically cast aside someone who isn’t a virgin. But you should avoid getting involved with anyone who isn’t willing to live a life a chastity and who doesn’t take their faith seriously.

I pray this helps.

God Bless
 
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Atruthseeker2.0 said:
just seems there could be a lot of problems otherwise
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The main problems will arise from your own thoughts and beliefs about those who are not virgins. Not from whether someone has a hymen or not.

Take this, for example:
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
Every time a brand car is used by a different owner it loses value because more then one person has used it. The full retail price goes down each time.
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People are not cars, and people cannot be “used” as you describe. People do not lose value if they have sex before marriage. That is a really uncharitable way to think.

I understand you are young, so I’m trying not to be harsh. But as long as you think this way, do not ever date someone who is not a virgin. Because they deserve much more than someone who considers them to have “less value” than a virgin. They deserve to be afforded the same respect as everyone else on this earth, and if you can’t give that, don’t even try.

My advice is to talk to your Priest about this, and don’t take everything your high school teacher says as truth.
 
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Then why even glorify virginity in the first place. Yes but let’s face it a person may have value which is true. But even for this person your just another person they had sex with. They will always even when they don’t want to compare your to another.
 
This same theology teacher told my a sad but true story. There’s a women who married to her husband and loves him dearly. But cannot get the same orgasim as she did when she was with another guy. The value of the bond goes down, because they other person has “experience”.
 
Virginity doesn’t matter? Also why did you call out TLM followers?
 
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
There’s a women who married to her husband and loves him dearly. But cannot get the same orgasim as she did when she was with another guy.
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And just how does your high school teacher know of such a person? Who broadcasts that kind of intimate information? Also, how about men who have sex before marriage? Are they “damaged goods”?
 
That why he was a virgin till marriage with his wife has 4 beautiful children within 5 years of marriage and he has brothers whom are priests. This guy knows his stuff, he was raised in it from birth and stayed in it.
 
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
Maybe because there friends and he’s hurting.
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I may not be married, but I would be furious with my husband if he was broadcasting our intimate life and details of my sex life before marrying him. I don’t care if he shared it with friends, family, strangers, whoever. That’s nobody’s business.
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
That why he was a virgin till marriage with his wife has 4 beautiful children within 5 years of marriage and he has brothers whom are priests. This guy knows his stuff, he was raised in it from birth and stayed in it.
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And yet he’s given you the impression that a marriage with a non-virgin wife could be invalid because she can’t “fully give” herself to you.

That doesn’t invalidate a marriage.
 
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And yes I think the same issue exist with men too, I didn’t say damaged goods but there are definitely issues that need to be addressed.
 
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
That why he was a virgin till marriage with his wife has 4 beautiful children within 5 years of marriage and he has brothers whom are priests.
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Good for him.
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
This guy knows his stuff,
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No, he doesn’t. He hasn’t the slightest clue, if he really said what you’ve reported here. But if you’re convinced otherwise, why are you asking?
 
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Fauken said:
And just how does your high school teacher know of such a person? Who broadcasts that kind of intimate information?
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And why on earth does your high school teacher think this is appropriate to tell to a group of minors?? Let alone betray a friend’s confidence and tell a group of strangers.

Please, take your questions to your Priest. Don’t assume the life of your high school teacher means he is 100% theologically correct.
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
But even for this person your just another person they had sex with. They will always even when they don’t want to compare your to another
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Is this something else your high school teacher has told you?

If your principal doesn’t know he’s telling you this stuff, I think you ought to inform them.
 
No, but it feels diminished. The dude can say what he needs to get of his chest. He didn’t throw it under a rug and run from it. He said bro I got a problem and we need to talk. He has every right to talk about that, especially in pain which he obviously in. So he your saying he just hide it when its obvious bothering him?
 
We weren’t minors, we were all seniors and many of guys in my class didn’t care about chastity at all. Why get mad at a guy for give us a fair warning of what can happen.
 
In addition my priest lived through prostitution and had many relationships, he even told this stuff and that this way of thinking is actually good.
 
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
He said bro I got a problem and we need to talk.
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And your teacher mentioned that in his story?

You don’t talk about your sex life with your bros. You get a therapist and talk about it with your spouse.
Atruthseeker2.0 said:
has every right to talk about that, especially in pain which he obviously in. So he your saying he just hide it when its obvious bothering him?
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He does not have the right to share private information like that with whoever he wants.
 
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