The warmer months are coming. Should your pastor implement a modesty dress code for church (for both men and women)?

[daeve]

All they need to do is turn the AC way down. People will bring in sweaters and jackets to cover their legs and arms and over time will expect to wear more coverage to keep from freezing. It is a little sneaky, but it keeps the people coming without being confrontational in an age where many aren’t ready or that particular confrontation yet.

That’s great. For “hot stuff” people like me, I’ll be very happy. I’m always too hot, like many other women of a certain age.

Yes, modesty is an issue, but I hate to see a dress code. Maybe I’ll just futiley hope that people use common sense, and dress at least as well as they would to go to court or a nice restaurant. You shouldn’t look as though you were interrupted while washing the car when you come to Mass.

 

[Colmcille]

Yes, I wish the Bishop would do something.

As a former Protestant, I must be honest. I never seen this problem in my previous churches.

Why is this a concern in the Catholic Church? Seriously? I only vaguely remember seeing a few girls in my previous church wearing short, short skirts, other than that, nothing…

Now, I see women in their 40’s with their bellies hanging out.

Not to throw this thread off…but just came to my mind.

God bless.

DJgang: Although we must not be exclusionist, neither should we drop all standards of dress and behavior. In the book of Sirach: “Like lightning before the storm, so shines modesty in the eyes of men.” If it is only to make a statement rather than default to letting immodesty triumph, Modesty Police Wanted could be in the bulletin. Colmcille

 

[Colmcille]

Let me throw in my own ideas since I come for a year-round hot country, and churches are not typically air-conditioned.

In my church (it’s a shrine, actually), there is an announcement said before every single Mass:

“We also humbly request that those wearing sleeveless clothing provide yourselves with shawls out of respect for the sacred Liturgy.”

At the door, the collection ladies keep some light shawls easily draped over a lady’s head, easily covering her shoulders and front. The shawl is well-cut and looks great on the ladies who wear them. If a lady comes in with a, er, textile shortage, the collectoras simply approach them discreetly, hand them a neatly folded shawl and invite them to put them on. No one is ever turned away, and most of the time, those approached are gracious about it.

What a wonderful way of putting it! To me, dressing with modesty in mind is just showing consideration for the others in attendance. It seems some have never learned the meaning and value of modesty; what they’ve learned to be normal and acceptable in the media is immodest behavior and dress. We are never to make spectacles of ourselves at mass; all should back off with the flashy, trashy garb! Colmcille

 

[Colmcille]

Amen to that!

I mean if even the Budhists have a dress code (or, at least, what appears to be one), then that should give you some sort of indication that even they know what is and what is not appropriate.

Benedictgal, be my pal! It is a low blow for the Buddhists to say “…even they know…” Our intellects know what is and isn’t acceptable in church but many are swayed or mesmerized by the fashion-mongers and entertainment industry. They have lost sight completely of what used to be (more) common sense. Up with decency! Colmcille:thumbsup:

 

[Sarabande]

Charity events are done during times when most people are available. Raising money for charity is living your faith in the world before coming in to worship.

I am an avid road biker, are you talking about bike shorts? Those are modest coverings, they are padded (for the seat) and go down over most of the upper legs. I am just glad they chose to come to mass after their bike race. It shows that mass is important to them.

There is nothing wrong here, it is just people coming in from the wide world into mass. We should all celebrate for having them in attendance.

Umm… In my post I mentioned that it was nice that they did think about coming to mass after their races. My apologies if it came across that I was criticising those people. I agree, there is nothing wrong there. I do understand it when people look or smell like that after doing such an event. I’m just glad that they even gave a thought about coming, as I’m used to the other way around with people I know who do these kind of events. I was commenting more on those (and those few people I know personally) who would rather attend a charity race than go to mass.

Also, when I do see these people in mass, it makes me feel a little better about my family and others who always tend to be late on these race days because of where our cathedral is located and how the streets are blocked off. Most people don’t know when these races occur as they come into the city and don’t know the streets well enough to get around the races. I usually don’t know when the races are either (now I never know since the people I know who do them know that I don’t plan on doing these races with them), but since I tend to come to mass between 30 to 45 min before mass begins (I like to be there early since I cantor for mass), the traffic isn’t a problem for me.

Biker shorts - again, I understand when they come into the cathedral from a race or whatever. I’m not a prude, but sometimes, I don’t like seeing the outline of a man’s front anatomy when I’m out in public. It’s one of those things where you keep saying in your head, “Don’t look!” but you can’t help yourself. And I can honestly say it’s not of the sexual thing at all. It’s more like when you see something that you usually don’t see in public. Basically my reaction would be the same if I saw the outline of a women’s bottom front anatomy. (My 8th grade teacher had this problem with the front of her pants and all the boys called her “Wedgie” behind her back. It would be staring us in the face while in class.)

 

[elt1956]

Shorts and tee shirts are not immodest…it’s the short skirts, mid driff shirts with bellies hanging out and tight jeans/shorts that don’t give and blah, blah, blah…I’d go to church in capris, t-shirt and flip flops, during the week and if someone shows up as a traveler, sure that’s okay…however…I don’t want to see your cleavage and butt cheeks and belly…I think that’s what we are talking about here…

Well, how about a sign posted, Immodesty and Irreverance not allowed. This is not a suggestion. Peace.

 

[daeve]

I think modesty and appropriateness are both important.

You could come to Mass in nice walking shorts and a nice polo shirt, and be properly dressed, whereas a cocktail dress would be wrong.

I really think that if you’re in a bike race or marathon, you should plan to attend Mass on Saturday or later in the day on Sunday after you’ve had a chance to shower and dress appropriately. You wouldn’t go to a nice restaurant or the theatre in your racewear, so don’t come to Mass that way.

 

[elt1956]

I think modesty and appropriateness are both important.

You could come to Mass in nice walking shorts and a nice polo shirt, and be properly dressed, whereas a cocktail dress would be wrong.

I really think that if you’re in a bike race or marathon, you should plan to attend Mass on Saturday or later in the day on Sunday after you’ve had a chance to shower and dress appropriately. You wouldn’t go to a nice restaurant or the theatre in your racewear, so don’t come to Mass that way.

I agree Daeve. There is very little reverence and dignity of dress at church any more. In “my day” the thought of wearing shorts into church didn’t exist. After all, we are going into a special house, God’s house. Peace.

 

[cecilia97]

Certainly that is beyond the pale but I have never seen this in all my years in church neither here in Baton Rouge or down in New Orleans. I’m shocked, I guess. As hot as it gets down here, the vast majority of our parishoners dress conservatively. I have never seen any tourist in shorts dressed inappropriately. I don’t see a need to publish a dress code in my parish.

I’m with you, brotherhrolf, I don’t think we tend to see this in Houston and the more southern parts of Texas, either. I do occasionally see 15-yr-old girls with too-short skirts, but never bellies, midrifs, butt-cheeks, etc!

Sorry, our dear friends to the north, but when I lived in Illinois I saw people using the heat as an excuse to dress sloppily in church in summer. IMO, we don’t tend to do that down here. Yes, we’re more used to the heat, but it’s also much hotter and much more humid. I’m a pretty casual girl, but I at least wear jeans to Mass in the high heat of the summer. There’s no “it’s 103 and 99% humidity so wear your shorts this Sunday” pass down here!

…then again, we use AC like y’all use heat in the winter. It’s always too cold in buildings here. It was always too hot in winter in buildings up north. I had a renter here from Iowa last summer and she quickly learned the trick of taking a sweater everywhere.

As for AC being the solution, though…expensive and bad for the environment. Our entire parish collection barely pays the monthly AC bill for the hottest months.

 

[elt1956]

I’m with you, brotherhrolf, I don’t think we tend to see this in Houston and the more southern parts of Texas, either. I do occasionally see 15-yr-old girls with too-short skirts, but never bellies, midrifs, butt-cheeks, etc!

Sorry, our dear friends to the north, but when I lived in Illinois I saw people using the heat as an excuse to dress sloppily in church in summer. IMO, we don’t tend to do that down here. Yes, we’re more used to the heat, but it’s also much hotter and much more humid. I’m a pretty casual girl, but I at least wear jeans to Mass in the high heat of the summer. There’s no “it’s 103 and 99% humidity so wear your shorts this Sunday” pass down here!

…then again, we use AC like y’all use heat in the winter. It’s always too cold in buildings here. It was always too hot in winter in buildings up north. I had a renter here from Iowa last summer and she quickly learned the trick of taking a sweater everywhere.

As for AC being the solution, though…expensive and bad for the environment. Our entire parish collection barely pays the monthly AC bill for the hottest months.

Y’all are right about dress codes here in Illinois. I have seen some outfits in church that would not only curl your toes, but your hair and eyelashes. Peace.

 

[khiveley]

It is my humble reply that each individual should be responsible for his/her own dress and ensuring that the attire is appropriate to come before Jesus and openly receive Him in His house. Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body would indicate that modesty is a response to allowing the opposite sex to view us entirely as an individual with greater human dignity and is a loving response. Dressing with the intent to stir the passion of sexual desire would seem to change that message to lust.

It would seem that it would not be fitting for either a priest or bishop to implement any formal dress code, but the appropriate response would be to preach, live, and develop an active ministry directing us to heart called to selfless love.

 

[Sam_Maloney]

Modesty is a moving target, and as such often in the eye of the beholder.

What we wear to the super market, the Victorians wouldn’t wear to the beach.

I’m not saying ‘anything goes’, but ‘modesty codes’ inevitably concentrate on square inches of exposed skin rather than things like ‘Co-Ed naked wrestling’ T-shirts and beyond skin tight jeans, which I personally find more distasteful.

Reverent deportment is billion times more important than reverent dress-- it is easier to ignore a skimpy outfit than talking, touching, pushing.

The way the world is going, we should probably be grateful for every person who comes to church, rather than judging them.

 

[Phemie]

Our Pastor usually addresses it either during the Homily, or mor likely during the after Mass announcements. He does this as soon as the weather starts to warm up. Our Parish is well air conditioned, and there is no reason to have to wear anything that is too cool. It still happens sometimes, but if something like that gets out of hand he addresses it to the congregation. If you are the one who is dressed like a sleeze bag when he give that little talk I am sure you know that everyone knows it is you, and you don’t do it again. Nobody wants to be the guilty one when something like that is brought up publicly.

The problem is that nobody thinks it’s about THEM. If you thought a halter top and short shorts was ok to wear to Mass when you got dressed this morning, you’re not likely to get the hint when the priest mentions modesty. The person who’s most likely to feel addressed is the person who cared enough to think about dressing modestly but now wonders if she went far enough.

 

[Phemie]

I don’t think anyone is talking about dressy vs. casual as far as I’m concerned we are debating modesty and should a pastor impliment a dress code.

certain body parts? I have no idea what you even mean by that that’s fairly vague but if you are talking about showing half your fanny than yes that would be a problem. I haven’t seen that in our parish.

Again, keep your eyes focused on Christ

Well I’ve seen the reader’s belly button piercing winking at us when her top didn’t meet her low cut pants. Don’t think that’s in line with ‘modesty’. Neither is camel toe on a teen reader.

 

[Phemie]

Charity events are done during times when most people are available. Raising money for charity is living your faith in the world before coming in to worship.

But you can’t miss Mass to do so.

I am an avid road biker, are you talking about bike shorts? Those are modest coverings, they are padded (for the seat) and go down over most of the upper legs. I am just glad they chose to come to mass after their bike race. It shows that mass is important to them.

If you think bike shorts are modest, then you have no idea what modesty is. Most bike shorts are so molded to the body that they leave nothing to the imagination.

 

[kesa82]

I have to admit my opinion here is clouded by my own agenda.

I’m going to visit the father, the son, Mary and the saints in the most literal way possible in this life. I have five suits I would otherwise never wear ( I’m blue collar ) anyway, so it baffles me the idea that I would go to mass without a jacket and tie.

• unfortunately the only other guy so dressed is 70 years old. Yes, I’m terribly self-conscious under the circumstances.

In my case the word “pretty” means the exact same thing as " erotic". That is, what is THE difference between a pretty woman and an ugly woman? Eroticism. So perhaps you can infer from that how often that particular topic is on my mind. I know, that’s my problem. Still, I like nuns in habits that sweep the floor.

 

[whiteknite]

Cant you think for yourself. You acualy need a member of your church to dress you too…
Seems a bit daft to me.
Does the church rule everything in your lives???

 

[Karmastrike]

I don’t know what your talking about, its supposed to be in the 50s this week for me.

 

[Lepanto]

Modesty is a moving target, and as such often in the eye of the beholder.

What we wear to the super market, the Victorians wouldn’t wear to the beach.

I’m not saying ‘anything goes’, but ‘modesty codes’ inevitably concentrate on square inches of exposed skin rather than things like ‘Co-Ed naked wrestling’ T-shirts and beyond skin tight jeans, which I personally find more distasteful.

Reverent deportment is billion times more important than reverent dress-- it is easier to ignore a skimpy outfit than talking, touching, pushing.

The way the world is going, we should probably be grateful for every person who comes to church, rather than judging them.

OK, so if I walk in to Mass wearing nothing but Speedos, it would be OK so long as I exhibited reverent deportment?

If not, where would you draw the line?

If this sounds ridiculous, I want you to recall that women wearing halter tops / miniskirts and men wearing backwards ball caps to Mass were unthinkable once, too. I see them all the time now.

 

[Lepanto]

It is my humble reply that each individual should be responsible for his/her own dress and ensuring that the attire is appropriate to come before Jesus and openly receive Him in His house.

I don’t think we’d be having this conversation if each person was actually “responsible.”

It would seem that it would not be fitting for either a priest or bishop to implement any formal dress code, but the appropriate response would be to preach, live, and develop an active ministry directing us to heart called to selfless love.

Part of being “responsible” is not causing scandal for others. That is an act of selfless love. And if the people won’t do it on their own, it may take the priest, who is responsbile for the souls entrusted to him, to say something about it.