The "Why are you still single?" quiz, sorta

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CountrySinger said:
No offense taken. I’m not just tempted by sex, I have the libido of a teenage boy I wore out my ex-boyfriends wink wink. When I was testing for the Convent, everything was good, except I was too sensual. Even the Mother Superior said I couldn’t live the celibate life (that’s a bad sign). If I get married, I will never be like the married women I know and hate sex. How can you hate sex? :confused: That’s like hating Heaven. That’s it. I’m naming myself the Samantha Jones of CAF. 😃
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LOL- I just wouldn’t use it as a tag line on your Catholic match - men might get the idea you are not interested in celibacy now.
 
CountrySinger said:
If I can jump in… well, I’m going to jump in anyway! 😛 What about people who are painfully shy (ie. me) who have trouble talking to people? I have to work on being more outgoing. My very nature wants to stay at home all the time. But I take the effort to go out and get to know people (very important that I’ve moved to a new place where I know no one). And people who know me have no idea how shy I am (now that I’m a boss with direct reports, I can’t hide). :cool: Life takes work, and not all of us got dealt fair cards. But I’m going to play with what I have. 😃
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People skills, including initiative, can be learnt. I can be very, very shy, contrary to what may normally seem, for example, and I had a huge problem with it as a child. Even already in highschool I sometimes couldn’t get myself to approach a person or bring up a problem. In fact, at uni too and sometimes even now. Just not as often… or maybe I’m typically able to overcome it. Hard to say. I generally rarely am at ease even if I may seem extroverted and whatnot.
 
joandarc2008 said:
LOL- I just wouldn’t use it as a tag line on your Catholic match - men might get the idea you are not interested in celibacy now.
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Lol. 😃 Most of the guys that I talk to on there are 5 out 7 (are for premarital sex and contraception), so it might be a positive for them. J/k.
 
joandarc2008 said:
LOL- I just wouldn’t use it as a tag line on your Catholic match - men might get the idea you are not interested in celibacy now.
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I don’t think men generally want women who are interested in celibacy ever. Maybe they’re supposed to as Catholics, but that particular commandment is broken most of the time.
 
flyingfish said:
I don’t think men generally want women who are interested in celibacy ever. Maybe they’re supposed to as Catholics, but that particular commandment is broken most of the time.
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While I agree that this particular commandment is broken most of the time, I am hoping to find a girl that is remaining abstinent until marriage, or if she had pre-marital sex, she will at least wait until marriage with me. As I have said on CAF a handful of times, I feel this is one of the biggest obstacles in finding a girlfriend. It can be frustrating.
 
Jay82 said:
While I agree that this particular commandment is broken most of the time, I am hoping to find a girl that is remaining abstinent until marriage, or if she had pre-marital sex, she will at least wait until marriage with me. As I have said on CAF a handful of times, I feel this is one of the biggest obstacles in finding a girlfriend. It can be frustrating.
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I am willing to wait till marriage for a guy, but I will climbing the walls and be very cranky. 😃 I could never be celibate for the rest of my life (even with God’s help).
 
Jay82 said:
While I agree that this particular commandment is broken most of the time, I am hoping to find a girl that is remaining abstinent until marriage, or if she had pre-marital sex, she will at least wait until marriage with me. As I have said on CAF a handful of times, I feel this is one of the biggest obstacles in finding a girlfriend. It can be frustrating.
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You know it’s ironic that you say this - my dh and I were not chaste before we met or with each other - then as we grew in our journey we decided we would be chaste before the wedding. It was a difficult few months- sorry everyone if those of you that have had years or a lifetime find that funny but it was difficult. The good side was it did bring us much closer as well and it made the wedding night more special because it was something we couldn’t have and then we could - plus the whole power of the Sacrament. Just wanted to throw my two cents of experience there. I do tell some of my adult friends that as I am not ashamed and most of them are active - they actually pause and listen because know what the old me was like and what the new is like and they know that I didn’t become a “HOly Roller” or “Bible Thumper” either. It has made some reconsider there own morals even if only by a couple of inches. Its tough to evangelize a position that you yourself do not take.
 
Jay82 said:
While I agree that this particular commandment is broken most of the time, I am hoping to find a girl that is remaining abstinent until marriage, or if she had pre-marital sex, she will at least wait until marriage with me. As I have said on CAF a handful of times, I feel this is one of the biggest obstacles in finding a girlfriend. It can be frustrating.
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I agree with your sentiment, but I wouldn’t mind missionary dating if I found a lovely girl. Tried once, didn’t work. Doesn’t mean that not repeating mistakes consists in not trying again! However, I do stick with Catholics girls in terms of where I cast my net. It’s a bit similar to how I would prefer giving an honest chance (at least in the form of thought) to someone already interested in me over trying to convince someone not immediately interested in me. This considers two different things, but I instinctly feel some kind of connection there or maybe it’s just some accidental similarity of the way it works. 😉
 
CountrySinger said:
Really? Weird. And sad. The other saints are just jealous. 😃 How did they think babies happen? Storks didn’t bring them. :confused:
When I was little, I was told that storks brought babies, and tried to hunt one down cause I wanted a little sister. 😛
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I know. I seriously hope that the real saint screening process is not as severe as that. That novel was written by a rather liberal priest you see (some guy named Greeley I think). >_>;;

You see the truth is the first time I told people what my ideal girl would be, they all gave me the o_O;;; look and said, “Dude… you’re looking for a saint!”

To be honest, I actually would want that. I wouldn’t even mind if the girl was awkward on the subject of sex. I’m just looking for someone who’s sorta meek and vulnerable but at the same time really kind and faithful… you know, the kind of girl that makes ya wanna protect her.

And after reading about the dangerous lives of some girl saints who actually cut close to my criteria, it just, well, made me fantasize even more. I certainly would love to be a shield for a girl like that… an obsessive, dark, dominating shield that shoots spikes but… a shield nonetheless. >B)
Norseman82 said:
I’ve actually had a similar experience from the opposite end, and I did post about it some time ago.

The woman I was dating all of a sudden felt dry in her profession, and decided to enter into a formation/evangelization program with a religious order. Her words to me were “That’s the risk you take with a religious girl” and “if you want to get married, you may need to find a ‘bad’ girl” (please don’t jump over me over this, those were her words!). Now, I’m not faulting her for discerning this, but the words that I may need to seek a “bad girl” sent chills up my spine.

I’m not interested in taming a wild pagan woman. That is not why I put so much effort into my faith. In fact, I’m worried a “bad girl” will turn me into a “bad guy”.
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Stop, stop, STOOOOP!!! DX That’s exactly what I fear most about the girl I’m looking for! ;w; Even if I do find her, chances are she’s already looking towards the convent (or worse, already a novice :eek:).
 
Lost_Wanderer said:
I know. I seriously hope that the real saint screening process is not as severe as that. That novel was written by a rather liberal priest you see (some guy named Greeley I think). >_>;;

You see the truth is the first time I told people what my ideal girl would be, they all gave me the o_O;;; look and said, “Dude… you’re looking for a saint!”

To be honest, I actually would want that. I wouldn’t even mind if the girl was awkward on the subject of sex. I’m just looking for someone who’s sorta meek and vulnerable but at the same time really kind and faithful… you know, the kind of girl that makes ya wanna protect her.

And after reading about the dangerous lives of some girl saints who actually cut close to my criteria, it just, well, made me fantasize even more. I certainly would love to be a shield for a girl like that… an obsessive, dark, dominating shield that shoots spikes but… a shield nonetheless. >B)

Stop, stop, STOOOOP!!! DX That’s exactly what I fear most about the girl I’m looking for! ;w; Even if I do find her, chances are she’s already looking towards the convent (or worse, already a novice :eek:).
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You need a reformed “bad” girl. Someone who had lived life in the past, and is a little too feisty for a convent. 😛 They seem to appreciate a good guy more. Plus, a virgin has just not had sex. They might have done everything else (like my best friend, who lorded her virginity over everyone). 😛
 
Originally Posted by Jay82
While I agree that this particular commandment is broken most of the time, I am hoping to find a girl that is remaining abstinent until marriage, or if she had pre-marital sex, she will at least wait until marriage with me. As I have said on CAF a handful of times, I feel this is one of the biggest obstacles in finding a girlfriend. It can be frustrating.
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What’s really sticky is broaching the subject with someone you just started dating and don’t know that well. I mean no sex until marriage can definetly be a deal breaker for well a lot of guys/girls. When do you let the person know? It feels like TMI to go into sexual histories or lack thereof and morals on the first date, but you also don’t want to waste your time or lead someone on.
 
bekalc said:
What’s really sticky is broaching the subject with someone you just started dating and don’t know that well. I mean no sex until marriage can definetly be a deal breaker for well a lot of guys/girls. When do you let the person know? It feels like TMI to go into sexual histories or lack thereof and morals on the first date, but you also don’t want to waste your time or lead someone on.
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Well, if both people are practicing Catholics, the subject of “no pre-marital sex” should not have to come up at all, should it? And if it does, it should not be a deal breaker, but rather a deal sealer.

Now, as far as sexual pasts are concerned, that can be tricky on how to start such a conversation. I wouldn’t consider it first date conversation, although some people’s pasts may be open books (you may have known the other person for a while and the other person may have been openly cohabiting, or vice versa, or one of you could be a never-married parent).
 
Norseman82 said:
Well, if both people are practicing Catholics, the subject of “no pre-marital sex” should not have to come up at all, should it? And if it does, it should not be a deal breaker, but rather a deal sealer.
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You would think so but unfortuantely I know a lot of Catholics who go to mass on Sunday and also engage in premarital sex. So unless I know the guys values very well its hard to tell. I will say this my hope is to find someone who wants to uphold the standards of the Church. And so if me not sleeping with a guy is a deal breaker for him, than I don’t want him. I realize I probably won’t get a guy who is a virgin in this day and age, but I hope I get someone who is at least trying to follow the Church’s teachings himself.
 
Norseman82 said:
Well, if both people are practicing Catholics, the subject of “no pre-marital sex” should not have to come up at all, should it? And if it does, it should not be a deal breaker, but rather a deal sealer.

Now, as far as sexual pasts are concerned, that can be tricky on how to start such a conversation. I wouldn’t consider it first date conversation, although some people’s pasts may be open books (you may have known the other person for a while and the other person may have been openly cohabiting, or vice versa, or one of you could be a never-married parent).
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Ideally. But I’d very much doubt it. I’ve never heard a parish priest condemn it during a sermon. I’ve had teachers at Catholic school promote it. If it wasn’t for my parents, I probably would have no clue premarital sex is a sin.
 
bekalc said:
You would think so but unfortuantely I know a lot of Catholics who go to mass on Sunday and also engage in premarital sex. So unless I know the guys values very well its hard to tell. I will say this my hope is to find someone who wants to uphold the standards of the Church. And so if me not sleeping with a guy is a deal breaker for him, than I don’t want him. I realize I probably won’t get a guy who is a virgin in this day and age, but I hope I get someone who is at least trying to follow the Church’s teachings himself.
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I know with most Catholic guys that I’ve dated, they want sex before marriage (which doesn’t make it any easier for me, that’s like dangling a cake in front of a dieter). :mad: It is a tough world out there. One of my friends said that God invented cats so women wouldn’t have to settle, and still have something that cuddles with them. 😃 Pretty awesome.
 
bekalc said:
You would think so but unfortuantely I know a lot of Catholics who go to mass on Sunday and also engage in premarital sex. So unless I know the guys values very well its hard to tell. I will say this my hope is to find someone who wants to uphold the standards of the Church. And so if me not sleeping with a guy is a deal breaker for him, than I don’t want him. I realize I probably won’t get a guy who is a virgin in this day and age, but I hope I get someone who is at least trying to follow the Church’s teachings himself.
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Yes, and that is the problem. I know numerous Catholic girls who will never miss mass, are (or were) active in the church, are very good people and are highly desirable to many…yet have pre-marital sex regularly.
bekalc said:
realize I probably won’t get a guy who is a virgin in this day and age, but I hope I get someone who is at least trying to follow the Church’s teachings himself.
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Don’t give up hope…I know a few guys in there late 20s who are virgins like me, but unfortunately I don’t know of any girls that are… I know a couple girls who could be, but I don’t think it is appropriate to ask, but there is a chance they are waiting.
 
Jay82 said:
Don’t give up hope…I know a few guys in there late 20s who are virgins like me, but unfortunately I don’t know of any girls that are… I know a couple girls who could be, but I don’t think it is appropriate to ask, but there is a chance they are waiting.
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And there is the challenge…getting together the virgins seeking other virgins…
 
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