The "Why are you still single?" quiz, sorta

[LilyElain]

LilyElain;6135010:

I am not content only in a relationship per say…but it does seem to be where I am comfortable. And I obviously have the desire for it (cloister not for me…. I also choose a career path that would allow me to be flexible enough to start a family, and allow me to prepare for marriage in many ways. I love my job as it is full of my interests, but I am so very restless sometimes knowing that this is not where I fully belong./

QUOTE]

I agree with the bolded part. I feel like I’m in limbo. Like I’m a car that’s in idle, and all I want to do is race. I’m listening to music, and a lyric of one song struck me “how many nights till I get life right?” I must be doing something wrong if all my friends are married and I’m not.

Nah, I mean I very much understand how you feel right now. I think you and I are about the same age, so we are in that limbo as you put it of watching others walk down the aisle. I sometimes think I am doing something wrong also…then I think to what I walked away from. I know how cheesy this sounds…but I know in my heart God is leading me down a different path at this time. Hey, my mother had four kids by age…I am way far behind at this point… Keep up the fight CS, I think we all are…

 

[CountrySinger]

CountrySinger;6135191:

Nah, I mean I very much understand how you feel right now. I think you and I are about the same age, so we are in that limbo

as you put it of watching others walk down the aisle. I sometimes think I am doing something wrong also…then I think to what I walked away from. I know how cheesy this sounds…but I know in my heart God is leading me down a different path at this time. Hey, my mother had four kids by age…I am way far behind at this point… Keep up the fight CS, I think we all are…

I don’t know what God is leading me to. I swear if I get one more wedding invitation, I will collapse into a pile of booze and tears. And people say I should be happy for them, and be content with my station in life. I’m letting out the animal of the cage. I AM NOT HAPPY! I am sick of being the maid of honor, and not the bride. And if I want to throw rocks instead of rice, that’s my right.

I feel like I’m losing at life. I look around, and see all these couples. Has Noah’s ark arrived? And I’m doomed to drown?

 

[LilyElain]

LilyElain;6135207:

I don’t know what God is leading me to. I swear if I get one more wedding invitation, I will collapse into a pile of booze and tears. And people say I should be happy for them, and be content with my station in life. I’m letting out the animal of the cage. I AM NOT HAPPY! I am sick of being the maid of honor, and not the bride. And if I want to throw rocks instead of rice, that’s my right.

Oh Hun~ I understand! And it really is not fair for people to tell you to be content, since you never will be with the knowledge that this is not permanent station in life. I am happy for most of my friends (worry about others though). But think of what you have accomplished and have that much more to share with him when he comes along… And if weddings make you that uncomfortable, you could always sty home…but then again…weddings are a good meeting place sometimes…

 

[CountrySinger]

CountrySinger;6135237:

Oh Hun~ I understand! And it really is not fair for people to tell you to be content, since you never will be with the knowledge that this is not permanent station in life. I am happy for most of my friends (worry about others though). But think of what you have accomplished and have that much more to share with him when he comes along… And if weddings make you that uncomfortable, you could always sty home…but then again…weddings are a good meeting place sometimes…

Weddings also have good open bars!
I’m usually involved in 3-4 weddings a year (the movie “27 Dresses” is my life, until they ripped it off). And they are spaced out, so I’m always helping the bride-to-be with wedding stuff (that reminds me, I have to go to Salem this weekend). I actually have several wedding magazines on my desk as I type. It’s hard to say no when someone asks you to be involved with their wedding. But it is still salt in the wound.

As for accomplishments, my two goals in life were: 1) Be a country singer (that didn’t end well), and 2) be a wife. Well, obviously, those aren’t happening. So I just have a college degree, several guns, good liquor, and two cats. Hey! That’s sounds like a country song!

 

[LilyElain]

LilyElain;6135272:

Weddings also have good open bars!
I’m usually involved in 3-4 weddings a year (the movie “27 Dresses” is my life, until they ripped it off). And they are spaced out, so I’m always helping the bride-to-be with wedding stuff (that reminds me, I have to go to Salem this weekend). I actually have several wedding magazines on my desk as I type. It’s hard to say no when someone asks you to be involved with their wedding.

As for accomplishments, my two goals in life were: 1) Be a country singer (that didn’t end well), and 2) be a wife. Well, obviously, those aren’t happening. I have a college degree, several guns, good liquor, and two cats. Hey! That’s sounds like a song!

I would love to hear that song…

 

[CountrySinger]

CountrySinger;6135304:

I would love to hear that song…

Fine then, here’s what I wrote right now.

I got my fancy college degree
With this economy it’s worth nothing
So I might as well drink till I can’t see
My cat is passed out on something

The other cat is laying near the gun
That I used to hunt some jerkface scum (it rhymes with gun, right?)
He’s no longer here, good riddance
He never had a chance

Never hurt a girl who fires a deadly shot
She’ll get her way somehow
And you’ll be six feet under when you find out.



That’s CMA winning material right there.

 

[Salonika]

CountrySinger:

I swear if I get one more wedding invitation, I will collapse into a pile of booze and tears… And people say I should be happy for them, and be content with my station in life.

Hope I got the originator of the quote correct, but if not my comment still stands.

It’s interesting how some people put the being happy for others and being content with your station of life together.

In my view they are two separate things - mostly we will be pleased for the people being married but seeing them happy may make some people more aware of what is missing from their life and therefore less content with their way of life.

 

[CountrySinger]

Hope I got the originator of the quote correct, but if not my comment still stands.

It’s interesting how some people put the being happy for others and being content with your station of life together.

In my view they are two separate things - mostly we will be pleased for the people being married but seeing them happy may make some people more aware of what is missing from their life and therefore less content with their way of life.

You got it correct. I don’t believe we can be content when we know that this isn’t where we belong. Since I’m surrounded by wedding stuff most of the year, the emptiness is unbearable and in my face all the time. If I say to someone that I can’t help with their wedding, they pout and whine. Which makes me look like the bad person if I don’t cave in. I can’t win. At least until I get a rock on my finger.

Maybe I should become a wedding planner.

 

[dakotagirl]

LilyElain;6135309:

Fine then, here’s what I wrote right now.

I got my fancy college degree
With this economy it’s worth nothing
So I might as well drink till I can’t see
My cat is passed out on something

The other cat is laying near the gun
That I used to hunt some jerkface scum (it rhymes with gun, right?)
He’s no longer here, good riddance
He never had a chance

Never hurt a girl who fires a deadly shot
She’ll get her way somehow
And you’ll be six feet under when you find out.

LOL! BWAHAHAHA!! Too funny and better than booze!
I totally feel you sister re: feeling like a car that is ready to race!!!
Gaaaaaaaaa there is this handsome Catholic dude from my church I’ve had my eye on…totally pining away here and I even know better than that!! :tsktsk: It’s distracting me from my chores/prayer/work and making me crazy!! He’s polite whenever I talk to him, but never more than that. Some people are like “be more overt” and I’m like, c’mon I can’t be more overt than this without being reeeeeeaaalllly pushy! I’m confused because I don’t know where God is taking this, and I WANNA, thank you! Mostly I’m paranoid that I’ll somehow mess up God’s plan either way, and He’ll never give me another chance! Peculiar thinking, I know. (I promise I’m not 16 years old! Just very driven and a liiiiiiittle high-strung) Somebody pleeeeeeease knock some sense into me!!!
:banghead::banghead::banghead:
See, he matches everything on my long list down to eyebrow shape (kidding), and yet, idk, something feels slightly off. (Maybe it’s cause of past crazy experiences ) Or maybe because he simply doesn’t want to be my honey!! (I’m slow at these things). Gaaaaaaa, I want to get off the merry-go-round please!!

 

[Bataar]

CountrySinger;6135340:

LOL! BWAHAHAHA!! Too funny and better than booze!
I totally feel you sister re: feeling like a car that is ready to race!!!
Gaaaaaaaaa there is this handsome Catholic dude from my church I’ve had my eye on…totally pining away here and I even know better than that!! :tsktsk: It’s distracting me from my chores/prayer/work and making me crazy!! He’s polite whenever I talk to him, but never more than that. Some people are like “be more overt” and I’m like, c’mon I can’t be more overt than this without being reeeeeeaaalllly pushy! I’m confused because I don’t know where God is taking this, and I WANNA, thank you! Mostly I’m paranoid that I’ll somehow mess up God’s plan either way, and He’ll never give me another chance! Peculiar thinking, I know. (I promise I’m not 16 years old! Just very driven and a liiiiiiittle high-strung) Somebody pleeeeeeease knock some sense into me!!!
:banghead::banghead::banghead:
See, he matches everything on my long list down to eyebrow shape (kidding), and yet, idk, something feels slightly off. (Maybe it’s cause of past crazy experiences ) Or maybe because he simply doesn’t want to be my honey!! (I’m slow at these things). Gaaaaaaa, I want to get off the merry-go-round please!!

One of those times when the two of you are talking, ask him if he wants to go get some coffee or something.

 

[CountrySinger]

LOL! BWAHAHAHA!! Too funny and better than booze!
I totally feel you sister re: feeling like a car that is ready to race!!!
Gaaaaaaaaa there is this handsome Catholic dude from my church I’ve had my eye on…totally pining away here and I even know better than that!! :tsktsk: It’s distracting me from my chores/prayer/work and making me crazy!! He’s polite whenever I talk to him, but never more than that. Some people are like “be more overt” and I’m like, c’mon I can’t be more overt than this without being reeeeeeaaalllly pushy! I’m confused because I don’t know where God is taking this, and I WANNA, thank you! Mostly I’m paranoid that I’ll somehow mess up God’s plan either way, and He’ll never give me another chance! Peculiar thinking, I know. (I promise I’m not 16 years old! Just very driven and a liiiiiiittle high-strung) Somebody pleeeeeeease knock some sense into me!!!
See, he matches everything on my long list down to eyebrow shape (kidding), and yet, idk, something feels slightly off. (Maybe it’s cause of past crazy experiences ) Or maybe because he simply doesn’t want to be my honey!! (I’m slow at these things). Gaaaaaaa, I want to get off the merry-go-round please!!

I felt like I already messed up God’s plan. To continue the car analogy, I feel like I took the wrong road and I’m in the middle of nowhere. With no gas left, an expired AAA membership, and no cell service. And no mechanic will help because the car is too ugly to bother.

Good luck with the Catholic guy. In my experience, they trend to be worse than secular guys though (tend to disappear a lot more). They know exaclty what to say to Catholic girls to lead them on. (You can tell I’ve had bad experiences with them.) Show me a decent Catholic guy, and I’ll show you a priest.

 

[joandarc2008]

Wow…Remember Catholic funerals can also be a great place to meet single men that are available. :blush: Sorry that was really off color.

Chev- nothing wrong with being romantic- matter of fact I would almost suffice it to say that you kind of have to be if you want to be in a relationship for very long. BTW- maybe you are called ot be a deacon.

The rest of you - I have a friend of mine that finally met the man of her dreams and married at 50. She is happier than a clam. Don’t settle for anything.

 

[CountrySinger]

Wow…Remember Catholic funerals can also be a great place to meet single men that are available. :blush: Sorry that was really off color.

The rest of you - I have a friend of mine that finally met the man of her dreams and married at 50. She is happier than a clam. Don’t settle for anything.

Funerals, eh?

And I would either go crazy or need a new liver if I had to be single until I was 50. I need to drink like a fish to hold on at 28. I would probably climb the walls if I had to be celibate until then.

 

[joandarc2008]

no, not saying you have to wait until you are fifty - check out the younger relatives - or start tutoring at the local college. either way you will meet younger women. And BTW I was kidding about the funerals.

 

[chevalier]

Chev- nothing wrong with being romantic- matter of fact I would almost suffice it to say that you kind of have to be if you want to be in a relationship for very long.

Yeah, of course, I just meant it in terms of compatibility of visions of marriage!

BTW- maybe you are called ot be a deacon.

Nope, definitely not. Even though one can actually become a cardinal *and *a grandfather that way. Lol. But the last deacon to become a cardinal was in 19th century and he was the prime minister of the Church Estates. Except those *in pectore *ones we’ve never found out about.

Fine then, here’s what I wrote right now.

I got my fancy college degree
With this economy it’s worth nothing
So I might as well drink till I can’t see
My cat is passed out on something

The other cat is laying near the gun
That I used to hunt some jerkface scum (it rhymes with gun, right?)
He’s no longer here, good riddance
He never had a chance

Never hurt a girl who fires a deadly shot
She’ll get her way somehow
And you’ll be six feet under when you find out.

That’s CMA winning material right there.
[cut the smilies to avoid the limit]

You have a talent there.

Some people are like “be more overt” and I’m like, c’mon I can’t be more overt than this without being reeeeeeaaalllly pushy

Expecting to be worshipped on a bent knee complicates life a bit, doesn’t it? Okay, I know you “hate” me, but I’m still gonna give you brotherly advice (you don’t have to hug me when saying thanks, matter of fact as long as you don’t assault me physically, that’s all okay!). You can always initiate a conversation and you can always put in such terms as challenging him to take some action. Industrious women of old did know lines like, “will you keep a lady company?” or, “care to buy a lady a drink?” Those can be modified, with some care and diligence (men hate being told what to do or when it’s being implied they should man up and take initiative they actually don’t want to take simply because they aren’t interested!–e.g. if a girl is interested in me, she should know better than pretending I am or should be interested in acting on it, other doods probably don’t love it either, even though it’s not necessarily their pet peeve like mine), in order not to subvert the system too much while you’re casting your net on the guy. You can even initiate a normal conversation or just ask some friendly questions that aren’t business–if then he doesn’t do anything, well, then you can heed your normal preference.

Funerals, eh?

And I would either go crazy or need a new liver if I had to be single until I was 50. I need to drink like a fish to hold on at 28. I would probably climb the walls if I had to be celibate until then.

Don’t kill your liver. The temptation is strong, but St. Paul has something to say about drunks and I’ve already wondered if always staying kinda sober while drinking day after day would make him particularly ecstatic about me. Given his friendship with St. Peter, who stands at the gate, this could turn a bit risky.

 

[joandarc2008]

Expecting to be worshipped on a bent knee complicates life a bit, doesn’t it? Okay, I know you “hate” me, but I’m still gonna give you brotherly advice (you don’t have to hug me when saying thanks, matter of fact as long as you don’t assault me physically, that’s all okay!). You can always initiate a conversation and you can always put in such terms as challenging him to take some action. Industrious women of old did know lines like, “will you keep a lady company?” or, “care to buy a lady a drink?” Those can be modified, with some care and diligence (men hate being told what to do or when it’s being implied they should man up and take initiative they actually don’t want to take simply because they aren’t interested!–e.g. if a girl is interested in me, she should know better than pretending I am or should be interested in acting on it, other doods probably don’t love it either, even though it’s not necessarily their pet peeve like mine), in order not to subvert the system too much while you’re casting your net on the guy. You can even initiate a normal conversation or just ask some friendly questions that aren’t business–if then he doesn’t do anything, well, then you can heed your normal preference.

The other great line is to get in a conversation about a “women’s place in society” Talk about the thread we had on here about whether it was OK for women to ask a man about. If he says no ask him what he is waiting for then. If he says yes then do it!!!

 

[chevalier]

The other great line is to get in a conversation about a “women’s place in society” Talk about the thread we had on here about whether it was OK for women to ask a man about. If he says no ask him what he is waiting for then. If he says yes then do it!!!

Real life examples including straightforward giving of information about a favourable outcome should a man ask. (This may actually happen without any particular intent, just a matter of fact, “I don’t understand those other women. If you asked me out, I would go with you,” which does not always carry an ulterior motive.) He still has to ask, though. Some other approach a woman can take is showing initiative at current stages but without making the offer to move on to the next stage (I don’t mean “bases”, I mean stages of commitment).

Personally, I would find it difficult to be in a loving relationship with a woman who wouldn’t call me, wouldn’t invite me, wouldn’t take my hand first etc. at least at a certain stage (though a long stage when you’re welcome to phone her but she won’t phone you is understandable in case of people brought up in traditional families; basically, this is a matter of someone’s personality and love is about mutually giving and accepting each other–what’s a problem is not “just being made that way” but some rigid adherence to some forms of etiquette that one doesn’t himself have particular love of anyway… let alone patterns of thinking like men aren’t worthy etc.). Regarding what’s in the parentheses, well, I’ve said on some occasions that men generally don’t deserve women and on many levels this holds true. I’m not sure I deserve a good Catholic girl if we actually look at what wonderful creature that is! But this doesn’t translate into a right to see oneself as socially superior, which is the error some women fall in.

 

[joandarc2008]

Real life examples including straightforward giving of information about a favourable outcome should a man ask. (This may actually happen without any particular intent, just a matter of fact, “I don’t understand those other women. If you asked me out, I would go with you,” which does not always carry an ulterior motive.) He still has to ask, though. Some other approach a woman can take is showing initiative at current stages but without making the offer to move on to the next stage (I don’t mean “bases”, I mean stages of commitment).

Personally, I would find it difficult to be in a loving relationship with a woman who wouldn’t call me, wouldn’t invite me, wouldn’t take my hand first etc. at least at a certain stage (though a long stage when you’re welcome to phone her but she won’t phone you is understandable in case of people brought up in traditional families; basically, this is a matter of someone’s personality and love is about mutually giving and accepting each other–what’s a problem is not “just being made that way” but some rigid adherence to some forms of etiquette that one doesn’t himself have particular love of anyway… let alone patterns of thinking like men aren’t worthy etc.). Regarding what’s in the parentheses, well, I’ve said on some occasions that men generally don’t deserve women and on many levels this holds true. I’m not sure I deserve a good Catholic girl if we actually look at what wonderful creature that is! But this doesn’t translate into a right to see oneself as socially superior, which is the error some women fall in.

I think what part A of your statement comes down to is personal preference. If what you are saying is that you would prefer that a woman be the type to wait for a man to ask her, well I know my dh would prefer something different.

Part B- I agree with completely. None of us is really ever worthy of receiving the marital act. If you look at it everytime we complete the marital act it is a sign and pledge of spiritual communion and signifie a sacrament being completed. Hopefully we as married couples take from this sacrament a lot and do not give up our opportunities to do so. Well, I think we say it best everytime at mass before we take Eucharist- “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but say the words and I shall be healed.” It is only through the Lord that any of us are ever worthy for each other. Not just one gender to another - and that is all joking and sarcasm aside.

2360 Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.

 

[chevalier]

I think what part A of your statement comes down to is personal preference. If what you are saying is that you would prefer that a woman be the type to wait for a man to ask her, well I know my dh would prefer something different.

I am not disclosing my preference at this point (or even admitting to having one). I will, however, insist that a woman has the right to indicate her interest should she want to, or try to get the man to reciprocate. This is a human-rights-kinda-thing.

Nothing constructive to add otherwise.

 

[CountrySinger]

no, not saying you have to wait until you are fifty - check out the younger relatives - or start tutoring at the local college. either way you will meet younger women. And BTW I was kidding about the funerals.

I’m a woman, so why would I need to find women? I need a man. I know the comment about climbing the walls if I was celibate the rest of my life is very man-like, but it is true.