Things women do that disappoint their boyfriend

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I think some men just want submissive wives and they get upset when they are challenged by a women.
 
IWantGod said:
I think some men just want submissive wives and they get upset when they are challenged by a women.
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It’s one of those times when I want to shout the magic words (patriarchy, misogyny) but I would probably be labeled as a raging leftist or whatever the slang is here
 
IWantGod said:
I think some men just want submissive wives and they get upset when they are challenged by a women.
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A big problem with that is that marriage is challenging, as are most things in life that offer us the opportunity to mature and grow.
 
Ever notice that the men who cry “submission” are the ones who are always single?
The married men don’t tend to espouse this. (you should pardon the expression) 😃
 
pensmama87 said:
A big problem with that is that marriage is challenging, as are most things in life that offer us the opportunity to mature and grow.
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There’s something in C.S. Lewis Screwtape letters, that when we humans expect something, and we don’t get it, we find ourselves naturally angry and resentful. Often what we were expecting is something we naturally have no right to, but we don’t stop and think of that.

I suspect that happens a lot in relationships - we become angry when we don’t get what we expected to get, without always considering the validity of our expectation.
 
AdamPeter said:
A few other thoughts:

1 - Complete submission of the wife in marriage is actually un-biblical. If you read the “submission passages” in light of the whole Gospel, and, indeed, the whole bible…I think it gives a more nuanced view.

2 - I think the woman giving up any of her own authority in marriage could possibly be sinful. If the Husband, for example, is rubbish at doing the finances, but the wife could actually do this task incredibly well, yet the husband persists in the idea that this is a “Husband job”. The finances go into worse and worse shape…yet the husband doesn’t seek assistance from the wife. And the wife doesn’t offer it, as she’s a good submissive “Christian” wife. This is a case of abdication of responsibility on the part of the wife, and pride and stupidity on the part of the husband.

3 - I look at it this way. My wife and I practice biblical submission in our marriage. We just don’t think about it or go on and on about it. She generally goes with decisions I make in areas that I’m good at dealing with and I will consult her on most of these and I always take her advice to heart, especially in areas that I know she is good at.
I take the words of Christ to heart, and the words of St. Paul and all the other Saints, and I lead my wife, hopefully to heaven, by serving her and treating her with the same respect that Christ would. She considers me the head of the family. I act like it.
One can put the teachings of St. Paul into practice in a manner consistent with the rest of the Bible, and do this in daily life, without even thinking about it. Or talking about it for that matter. I have a feeling that the people who place massive emphasis on submission in marriage and come on to these forums to preach about it are missing the point. Any activity in marriage should be something that will not hinder the other from reaching heaven.
In fact, one could even say that I “discipline” my wife, because I’m willing to call her out when she does sin in some way. But she does the same for me, and if she didn’t then how the heck would I reach heaven!!??

**The main reason I feel uneasy about the submission preached by some here is that the emphasis is always about the authority of the husband and never the salvation or good of the wife. **I might be swayed by an argument that considers the woman in marriage in terms of her dignity as a human person and the good of her eternal soul.
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Or even the husband’s good and eternal salvation.

In the really hard core submission circles, the husband is never allowed to relax or take a break, because he’s supposed to be continually driving his wife and on guard against “rebellion.”

As somebody said about slavery, “No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck,” and the same is true of people who make wifely obedience the end all be all of the Christian life.
 
Lea101 said:
Sure.

I’ve noticed when the men here talk about submission, they do mention about loving their wives, but it’s always in a hypothetical way. It’s always a ‘IF this happens, I would." if a husband’s masculinity (or ego) comes before his wife’ s happiness and security…
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…or it’s love in a manner of their choosing.

Again, they get to mark their own exams.
 
pianistclare said:
The difference is that here on these threads you often get a vocal proponent of things that are not Catholic teaching at all. They are personal interpretations developed by out of context musings of non-Theologians.

That you remain a faithful Catholic is a testament to your hard workin guardian angel. 😉

God bless you, hope to see you on the other side. (Of the internet, LOL)
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Most people who know what “IFB” means tend to say it’s a minor miracle when any of us end up Christian at all. Then again, most of us who do have high powers of ignoring.
 
Masculinity is confidence that isn’t influenced by the emotions of others, including women.

That said, here are some more things that tend to make your boyfriend/husband emasculated:

Berating the boyfriend/husband to others, especially mutual friends.

Habitually withholding sex from husband, especially for frivolous reasons (“I’m not in the mood”).

Threatening divorce/break up in order to control husband/boyfriend.

Saying you don’t feel attracted to boyfriend/husband anymore.

Christi pax.
 
Lucretius said:
That said, here are some more things that tend to make your boyfriend/husband emasculated:

Habitually withholding sex from husband, especially for frivolous reasons (“I’m not in the mood”).
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Really? Wow. That should make for a thrilling evening. Having relations is not the same as getting the oil checked. :rolleyes: It would be nice to have affection and love in there.

If a person is not disposed to it, why would it seem like a good thing to force?
Why not wait until a more opportune time?

I feel like many men feel like it’s on par with brushing your teeth. Something you just gotta do before sleep.

:confused:
 
pianistclare said:
Ever notice that the men who cry “submission” are the ones who are always single?
The married men don’t tend to espouse this. (you should pardon the expression) 😃
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Married men also seem to understand that “not in the mood” isn’t a frivolous reason for declining sex. If a woman isn’t “in the mood”, sex will be painful for her. Simple biology right there.
 
pianistclare said:
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Lucretius:
That said, here are some more things that tend to make your boyfriend/husband emasculated:

Habitually withholding sex from husband, especially for frivolous reasons (“I’m not in the mood”).
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Really? Wow. That should make for a thrilling evening. Having relations is not the same as getting the oil checked. :rolleyes: It would be nice to have affection and love in there.

If a person is not disposed to it, why would it seem like a good thing to force?
Why not wait until a more opportune time?

I feel like many men feel like it’s on par with brushing your teeth. Something you just gotta do before sleep.

:confused:
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He is a “Dalrock” devotee. This gives insight as to where his “head” is - when it comes to women.
 
pianistclare said:
Really? Wow. That should make for a thrilling evening. Having relations is not the same as getting the oil checked. :rolleyes: It would be nice to have affection and love in there.
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When did I say sex shouldn’t have love and affection?
If a person is not disposed to it, why would it seem like a good thing to force?
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No one’s saying to force anything.
Why not wait until a more opportune time?
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Lucretius said:
Habitually withholding sex from husband, especially for frivolous reasons (“I’m not in the mood”).
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Christi pax.
 
pianistclare said:
Really? Wow. That should make for a thrilling evening. Having relations is not the same as getting the oil checked. :rolleyes: It would be nice to have affection and love in there.

If a person is not disposed to it, why would it seem like a good thing to force?
Why not wait until a more opportune time?

I feel like many men feel like it’s on par with brushing your teeth. Something you just gotta do before sleep.

:confused:
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Choose an inopportune enough time, and the lady could literally fall asleep midway.

Not kidding.
 
pianistclare said:
Really? Wow. That should make for a thrilling evening. Having relations is not the same as getting the oil checked. :rolleyes: It would be nice to have affection and love in there.

If a person is not disposed to it, why would it seem like a good thing to force?
Why not wait until a more opportune time?

I feel like many men feel like it’s on par with brushing your teeth. Something you just gotta do before sleep.

:confused:
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Come to think of it, would it be frivolous for the husband to refuse relations because he wasn’t “in the mood”?
 
Someday people have to realize that sex is not the be all end all in a marriage.
It’s wonderful, but when you get old or you or a child gets sick even…everything takes it’s proper place. Caring for dying parents? That can make one too tired. It doesn’t have anything to do with not loving a person or shirking their roles.
Women are much more than their private parts.
Ask anyone married over 15 years.
 
Sarcelle said:
I wonder how many Dalrock devotees are registered members of this forum.
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Judging by how often submission topics come up, and the tone espoused, I’d say a solid fifth to third of our active posters.
 
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