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Schieffelin
Guest
Seriously?
- Status
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Serap
Guest
but why do we have to discriminate against men in the process?
if this thread were reversed and men created a thread of what they do and how we don’t appreciate it…women would be livid.
Humans are suseptible to sin…we take everyone for granted at times. It can be a husband, wife, friend, son, daughter, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, aunt…
L
LightBound
Guest
Exactly!
So…Come on people…just stop with the bickering back and forth. PLEASE!!!
We now know that the lengthy description of what a women does (LadyofShalot) was simply her stating what can happen “behind the scenes” in a marriage as far as all the things women do that others may not realize. A few men have pointed out that their lives and responsibilities change, too and how they feel about it.
Time to move on…okay?
So…Come on people…just stop with the bickering back and forth. PLEASE!!!
We now know that the lengthy description of what a women does (LadyofShalot) was simply her stating what can happen “behind the scenes” in a marriage as far as all the things women do that others may not realize. A few men have pointed out that their lives and responsibilities change, too and how they feel about it.
Time to move on…okay?
L
LightBound
Guest
Exactly. So come on people…just stop with the bickering back and forth. PLEASE!!!
We now know that the lengthy description of what a women does (LadyofShalot) was simply her stating what can happen “behind the scenes” in a marriage as far as all the things women do that others may not realize. A few men have pointed out that their lives and responsibilities change, too and how they feel about it.
Time to move on…okay?
J
johnnyjones
Guest
My friend, please do not become a late comer and rephrase all thats has been said. Read my posts and a few others. This is not about “simply stating what can happen behind the scenes.” It was about a posters portrayal of men. Most of us want to praise women but don’t need the false stereotypes of men added in.
This should have ended in a a blessing with my last post but some including you want to go on with the already resolved narrative of false “bickering”.
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LightBound
Guest
I have read the all the posts and I posted early on in this thread - #17-, so I’m not a “latecomer”. I was simply asking all to “knock it off” and let it go. My first post requesting that was not a reply to your post specifically, but you must have felt for some reason, that it was directed at you. It wasn’t. It was simply a request for everyone to “let this go”, but I guess that’s impossible…
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Serap
Guest
In their defense, they are being attacked by a bunch of women who keep saying “let it go”. It’s kinda condescending that the women are attacking these men expecting the men to back down.
I am an outsider observing this thread and this is what I am witnessing to be honest.
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LightBound
Guest
Actually…this woman (me) is suggesting everyone “let it go”…
That being said, I’m outta here. Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend, fellow CAF members.
That being said, I’m outta here. Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend, fellow CAF members.
D
dskysmine
Guest
I think the crux of the matter is that if the question is really “What do women help men with” then it should be men answering to those questions, because women can think that some of the things they do are helping, when actually they are not (I am sorry but this is called enabling bad behaviour).
I am perfectly aware of the things women help me with and I can make a serious list or dissertation about it, but in fact I am not the best person to talk about how I help others… others are, because if I say I do A, B or C person X can actually feel offended by what I think is helping him/her.
Women are the most beautiful part of creation. They are the presence of God’s Harmony and Beauty on Earth and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect them from harm. I believe Women are so precious because they have the gift of being mothers. Although it takes 2 to tango it is clear the bond that exists between a child and its mother.
Ps… need to finish the description later I got an emergency with my fiancee…
I am perfectly aware of the things women help me with and I can make a serious list or dissertation about it, but in fact I am not the best person to talk about how I help others… others are, because if I say I do A, B or C person X can actually feel offended by what I think is helping him/her.
Women are the most beautiful part of creation. They are the presence of God’s Harmony and Beauty on Earth and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect them from harm. I believe Women are so precious because they have the gift of being mothers. Although it takes 2 to tango it is clear the bond that exists between a child and its mother.
Ps… need to finish the description later I got an emergency with my fiancee…
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Serap
Guest
I can relate though b/c when my son was under age 2, I often felt that it was unfair that my husband was out playing pool with his cousin or meeting a friend for coffee when I could never get a minute away from the kids. I too felt that his life hadn’t changed at all.
But then I realized that my kids want to be with their mother b/c they have developed a very deep and healthy attachment to their primary caregive (me, mom). This is every mother’s dream…to be raising healthy attached children. It has been proven that when children develope a healthy attachment to the primary caregive (in this case, me) they develope into healthy people.
Bravo for me!!!
So instead of thinking that I am making way more sacrifices than my husband, I need to look at the bigger picture. My husband is not as nurturing as me, so I fit the nurturing role better.
Then I remembered all the hard work my husband does around our house…work that I could never do nor would I want to. He has been renovating our house and doing outside landscaping (for the past 6 years). He has worked just as hard as me.
See…I have been taking husband for granted too…we all do it…we are all guilty of it. I’m sure my husband takes me for granted too…all the beautiful work I am doing in raising emotionally healthy children (in addition to keep our house clean and meals cooked).
But then I realized that my kids want to be with their mother b/c they have developed a very deep and healthy attachment to their primary caregive (me, mom). This is every mother’s dream…to be raising healthy attached children. It has been proven that when children develope a healthy attachment to the primary caregive (in this case, me) they develope into healthy people.
Bravo for me!!!
So instead of thinking that I am making way more sacrifices than my husband, I need to look at the bigger picture. My husband is not as nurturing as me, so I fit the nurturing role better.
Then I remembered all the hard work my husband does around our house…work that I could never do nor would I want to. He has been renovating our house and doing outside landscaping (for the past 6 years). He has worked just as hard as me.
See…I have been taking husband for granted too…we all do it…we are all guilty of it. I’m sure my husband takes me for granted too…all the beautiful work I am doing in raising emotionally healthy children (in addition to keep our house clean and meals cooked).
T
thewanderer
Guest
Yes, this is exactly the problem with this thread. The men did not reply, so women did, one in a way that came across as offensive and so the men, understandably upset, responded and this ridiculous debate is the result. Thats why I was asking the men to step up to the plate, let it go and turn this thread around, it is only the men who can do this as they are the ones who this thread is directed at. I would just like to add that some men have chipped in as the OP intended and it really helped the thread for them to do so.
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Serap
Guest
Unfortunately, when ppl are personally insulted, they will have a hard time turning something around. It usually takes the original posters to apologize for coming across as being discriminatory.
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thewanderer
Guest
Yes, when people take something as a personal insult it is hard to be the one to let it go. I entirely understand that. But Christ does not call us to follow the easy path. What harm is there in encouraging people to take the better stance?
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28562
Guest
I have let it go, but I can’t say that it is incredibly frustrating and REALLY difficult not to jump back in on this because people refuse to attempt to see the other side of the issue. I am certain that both of ‘us’ that have ‘derailed’ the thread have expressed our appreciation for women, so seeing the other side is clearly not an issue. I guess it is really hard for some people to admit that they may be partially responsible for something that is bad. It’s pretty easy to claim credit for things that people are giving you kudos for, but it is really hard to claim credit when you screwed up. I guess it is just natural though.
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Serap
Guest
nothing at all, but no one was encouraging the women (who were discriminating) to let it go either.
it was just silliness.
we are all silly sinning freaks :hey_bud:
OMG…now we’re being silly!!! LOL!!! Ok…we’re done now LOL…
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Serap
Guest
men and women will always engage in battle of the sexes…I have let it go, but I can’t say that it is incredibly frustrating and REALLY difficult not to jump back in on this because people refuse to attempt to see the other side of the issue. I am certain that both of ‘us’ that have ‘derailed’ the thread have expressed our appreciation for women, so seeing the other side is clearly not an issue. I guess it is really hard for some people to admit that they may be partially responsible for something that is bad. It’s pretty easy to claim credit for things that people are giving you kudos for, but it is really hard to claim credit when you screwed up. I guess it is just natural though.
it makes life more spicey…
B
Brightest_Star
Guest
I once helped a friend of mine find the right words to propose to his girlfriend. Poor guy had a beautiful ring and no idea what to say! haha.
I’ve helped men see the womans point of view when they’re in an arguement.
I’ve helped men feel good about themselves after a woman has put them down.
In general I try to show men a little kindness and understanding - they usually feel under attack by women. I try to help them know we don’t all hate them just because they’re men.
I’ve helped men see the womans point of view when they’re in an arguement.
I’ve helped men feel good about themselves after a woman has put them down.
In general I try to show men a little kindness and understanding - they usually feel under attack by women. I try to help them know we don’t all hate them just because they’re men.
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28562
Guest
In an effort to get this back on track, I’ll add one…
(some) Women are great to go to for advice when you need help with something regarding your wife. Talking to the guys isn’t going to help a bad situation with your spouse most of the time.
(some) Women are great to go to for advice when you need help with something regarding your wife. Talking to the guys isn’t going to help a bad situation with your spouse most of the time.
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johnnyjones
Guest
With a woman on your side there is little you can not accomplish. 
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ladyofshalott
Guest
johnnyjones,
I don’t know you, or anything about your life. I wrote about MY LIFE, and you have no right to tell me it is not true. The reality of MY LIFE is:
For the past 12 years, my husband has gone to the same job and done the same thing for 8 hours a day. He also sits on a bus reading for an hour each way. That’s 10 hours of waking hours in which his life has remained entirely unchanged for 12 years.
I am not BLAMING him. I appreciate his going to work. It is not his fault that the lot falls to him to work at his job, and the lot falls to me to raise the children at home. Nor am I bitter. I love my children. I love my husband. But this is the reality:
In those same 12 years, I went from having ONE child (a SPECIAL NEEDS child in case I did not mention it, with hours of special care, therapies, and meetings) to having two additional children. My workload has multipilied. I homeschool all three-- three different grades including one special needs. My chores, cooking, laundry, everything, has multiplied. I have absolutely no time during the day. I am also a trained special needs therapist so that I can provide therapy for my son. It is very, VERY hard work.
My husband’s responsibilities at work have not changed or increased. His salary has increased a tiny but but not enough to cover our growing family. He WANTS me to homeschool the kids (which I am happy to do), lest you suggest I go out and get a job. That being said, I AM working on a part-time home business and have applied for a job working with an autistic man. I am stretched to the limit.My husband works at a desk job where he spends half his day surfing the internet. This is NOT me putting him down-- it is the simple truth!! I am working on another post-graduate degree to try to help increase our income. My husband, on the other hand, refuses to do anything outside his regular desk job to increase our income. Yes, he refuses, while watching me struggle. Lest you think I am some kind of selfish prima donna, we wear clothes from the Salvation Army and I cook every bite of food in our home from scratch, grow a garden, and have sold off almost all my personal possessions to provide for my children. I wear ratty old underwear and shoes that are falling apart because I can’t afford anything new for myself.
Please. I answered the original post in my experience as an individual.You are so worried about men being stereotyped that you would deny the truth of my experience. Am I supposed to lie about my life to make men look better? And, truthfully, my experience is shared by many women of my acquaintance, with the exception that their husbands are more willing to work extra, and seem to feel greater responsibility for providing for their families. So, there are a lot of great men out there, but not all. Instead of kicking me down, maybe you could be more compassionate that I do not have one of those great men and that I am severely overworked. It sure would be nice to hear something supportive, something acknowledging a woman’s contribution, instead of endless reactionary defenses of men. If what I write does not fit your experience, fine, but that does not make me a liar or a hater of men; it makes me someone maybe you could respect and have compassion for. That’s what I THOUGHT the original poster wanted to do. But almost every man on this thread had lashed out at me simply because I truthfully listed some of the things I do, and did not hide the fact that it can be hard. I have been called “bitter.” I have been told I hate men. I have been called all kinds of names. Maybe one decent man might speak up and say “Wow, you really do a lot for the love of your family. God bless you. You are a good woman.” This literally makes me want to cry because of the attacks I have received…
I don’t know you, or anything about your life. I wrote about MY LIFE, and you have no right to tell me it is not true. The reality of MY LIFE is:
For the past 12 years, my husband has gone to the same job and done the same thing for 8 hours a day. He also sits on a bus reading for an hour each way. That’s 10 hours of waking hours in which his life has remained entirely unchanged for 12 years.
I am not BLAMING him. I appreciate his going to work. It is not his fault that the lot falls to him to work at his job, and the lot falls to me to raise the children at home. Nor am I bitter. I love my children. I love my husband. But this is the reality:
In those same 12 years, I went from having ONE child (a SPECIAL NEEDS child in case I did not mention it, with hours of special care, therapies, and meetings) to having two additional children. My workload has multipilied. I homeschool all three-- three different grades including one special needs. My chores, cooking, laundry, everything, has multiplied. I have absolutely no time during the day. I am also a trained special needs therapist so that I can provide therapy for my son. It is very, VERY hard work.
My husband’s responsibilities at work have not changed or increased. His salary has increased a tiny but but not enough to cover our growing family. He WANTS me to homeschool the kids (which I am happy to do), lest you suggest I go out and get a job. That being said, I AM working on a part-time home business and have applied for a job working with an autistic man. I am stretched to the limit.My husband works at a desk job where he spends half his day surfing the internet. This is NOT me putting him down-- it is the simple truth!! I am working on another post-graduate degree to try to help increase our income. My husband, on the other hand, refuses to do anything outside his regular desk job to increase our income. Yes, he refuses, while watching me struggle. Lest you think I am some kind of selfish prima donna, we wear clothes from the Salvation Army and I cook every bite of food in our home from scratch, grow a garden, and have sold off almost all my personal possessions to provide for my children. I wear ratty old underwear and shoes that are falling apart because I can’t afford anything new for myself.
Please. I answered the original post in my experience as an individual.You are so worried about men being stereotyped that you would deny the truth of my experience. Am I supposed to lie about my life to make men look better? And, truthfully, my experience is shared by many women of my acquaintance, with the exception that their husbands are more willing to work extra, and seem to feel greater responsibility for providing for their families. So, there are a lot of great men out there, but not all. Instead of kicking me down, maybe you could be more compassionate that I do not have one of those great men and that I am severely overworked. It sure would be nice to hear something supportive, something acknowledging a woman’s contribution, instead of endless reactionary defenses of men. If what I write does not fit your experience, fine, but that does not make me a liar or a hater of men; it makes me someone maybe you could respect and have compassion for. That’s what I THOUGHT the original poster wanted to do. But almost every man on this thread had lashed out at me simply because I truthfully listed some of the things I do, and did not hide the fact that it can be hard. I have been called “bitter.” I have been told I hate men. I have been called all kinds of names. Maybe one decent man might speak up and say “Wow, you really do a lot for the love of your family. God bless you. You are a good woman.” This literally makes me want to cry because of the attacks I have received…
- Status