This is a weird one--

[snowbee]

@spellinggirl
based on your comments, I believe it would be better for you to go to mass that weekend than go on that “retreat,” which seems to be a retreat from mass.
I wouldn’t get into a whole argument with the youth minister, but state that you come from a strict family who places the importance of the mass as our highest form of prayer, and that it MUST be celebrated EVERY Sunday. Ask them to please make the “accomodation” of celebrating mass but let them know that you want to participate but perhaps their “retreat” can run from Thurs - Sat so that everyone can still get to mass on Sunday, or just make sure they leave early enough on Sunday so you can make the last mass.

Mass should NOT be skipped to go to a questionable PROTESTANT rock concert, P-E-R-I-O-D.

 

[bmadamsberry]

Even if there were a dispensation, what I’m getting from the OP’s post (secret activities, not being ‘sure’ if there was Sunday Mass scheduled) are totally incompatible with the fact that this isn’t a ‘secular’ group but a Catholic youth group doing a retreat.

After the sexual abuse crises, I’m surprised that the Youth Coordinator and the Pastor (who as pastor oversees the Youth Leader) aren’t more vigilant about making sure there are no “secrets”. If I was a parent, I would be weary of my child going on anything that had the word “secret” in it. In our day and age, youth groups need to be extra vigilant in disclousing as much information as possible about where they’re going, the parents/adults that will be there, etc.

 

[spellinggirl]

Just a little update–

I have sent a message to the leader asking him if we are attending Mass. I am going to ask my priest on Sunday about the retreat and whether or not this is licit, what he knows about it, etc. I am a bit concerned because the priest is a really easygoing guy and he might see nothing wrong with it being a secret.

I’m on vacation right now, so I’m not able to contact anybody directly, unfortunately. Thanks very much for your responses!

Also, I just found out we are having a meeting a few days before the retreat. I will be able to directly question the leader then.

 

[Greg57]

I’ve got a serious question that I really need an answer to. Is it permissable to miss Mass if you are going on a youth group retreat that weekend?

I refused to go on a retreat last winter because we were not attending Mass. The leader was really mad at me. They planned on having a Communion service, but to me that’s just not acceptable. I really love going to Mass and I hate missing it.

This time around, the retreat is just for the youth leaders of the youth group, to bond and get to know each other. We are going to some fun activities and then attending a Christian music concert. Because it’s a secret what else we are doing, we don’t know if we are going to Mass or not.

I am really not supposed to miss this retreat. If I do, it is possible that I will be asked to resign my position as a youth leader. But if it’s not okay to miss Mass, my conscience will not let me go. Help!

Is this retreat sponsored by your parish? If so, then it is up to the parish and the group leader to arrange to have a priest present to celebrate Mass for the youth. Or, even a deacon can arrange to have a communion service in lieu of it, which is permissable. Also, what is the problem with attending a Mass at a nearby Catholic Church where the retreat is taking place? Would it be so bad to pack up the kids and taken them too?

I find that the ‘head’ of the youth leaders to be manipulative and untransparent. There is no reason for ‘secrecy’ especially if it involves NOT going to Mass. That is just plain wrong.

 

[ljubim]

Just a little update–

I have sent a message to the leader asking him if we are attending Mass. I am going to ask my priest on Sunday about the retreat and whether or not this is licit, what he knows about it, etc. I am a bit concerned because the priest is a really easygoing guy and he might see nothing wrong with it being a secret.

I’m on vacation right now, so I’m not able to contact anybody directly, unfortunately. Thanks very much for your responses!

Also, I just found out we are having a meeting a few days before the retreat. I will be able to directly question the leader then.

Thanks for the update!

Remember that Mass, not a communion service, is what fulfills our Sunday obligation. And I really understand what you’re going through, a lot of youth ministries today have their priorities totally messed up. It’s all about fun and goofing around, the music culture rather than about God and theology and the Eucharist. But do not despair, things are getting better, ESPECIALLY at college Newman centers. I’ve just got word that my college has Gregorian chant at all their Masses and is really traditional, and coming from really bad diocesan youth experiences, the news brings such joy to my heart God will bring you peace, just be patient and pray!!

 

[zab]

Just a little update–

I have sent a message to the leader asking him if we are attending Mass. I am going to ask my priest on Sunday about the retreat and whether or not this is licit, what he knows about it, etc. I am a bit concerned because the priest is a really easygoing guy and he might see nothing wrong with it being a secret.

I’m on vacation right now, so I’m not able to contact anybody directly, unfortunately. Thanks very much for your responses!

Also, I just found out we are having a meeting a few days before the retreat. I will be able to directly question the leader then.

As others have pointed out, your Youth Leader should not be offended by your question- Is Mass going to be offered at the retreat? Or asking the leader if retreat goers will be attending Mass. Do not let angry responses disturb you. You are on the right track.
I want to add that Melchior_had some good remarks at the end of his post that you should consider also.

 

[spellinggirl]

Hooray! Good news all around!

We got back from vacation today. In the mail was a letter from the guy organizing the retreat. My parents know I’m worried about this so my mom told me where we are going. I know it’s a surprise, so I won’t let on that I know anything.

The retreat will be held at a Lutheran retreat house. Not sure if I understand why, but it’s just the place we are staying, no Lutheran stuff involved. We are attending Mass on Sunday, and best of all, it’s a surprise for our former priest who is now assigned to that parish! I’m really excited and relieved!

Thanks to everyone for your advice. It is greatly appreciated. If you have any ideas of things to do/bring on the retreat, I would love them!

 

[coolduude]

Please allow me to interject myself, as I read all the posts. I have a question regarding a retreat I went on for school (it was mandatory). Here’s what happened:

It was a Friday to Sunday retreat at a retreat center in the country (farms and stuff ). On Friday we did the usual retreat things- games and ‘small groups’, in which we talked about “who we are” (whatever that means).

Saturday we did the same, except on Saturday night. Saturday night we had a reconcilliation service. Let me explain. The people who ran the retreat center put on a little skit about rejecting Jesus and indulging in the world. I have to admit, it was a good skit and made me well up. After the skit, we all took a rock (a small pebble) and one by one went up to the front of the room and set it in a bowl of sand, while announcing some sin we were letting go from our hearts. It was a quite time and there was no time limit really (but we all had to go up there- no questions asked). After everyone went, they blasted, I mean BLASTED, the song “What I’ve done” by Linkin Park. I guess it fit after the music, the small group leaders all took up places in the room. My memory of this part fades, but I do remember we each had to go up to our leader, pray with them (just listen while they pray off the top of their head), then they bless us (I think; like I said my memory is fading). Lastly, we went to the chapel, did some meditating thing, then went to bed.

On Sunday, we did a little bit more of small groups, filled out a survey, then went to a Communion Service. The Service was, I thought, extremely disrespectful. For the readings, kids volunteered to dress up and act out the readings. I say dress up and I mean costumes. Costumes made of clothes from a thrift store (not that there’s anything wrong with thrift stores- there isn’t). The costumes included over-sized, baggy clothing and gaudy hats. The skit consisted of running around and no respect for what was actually happening. After the skit we all made a circle, stood, and recieved the Eucharist, not from a priest or deacon, but a lay person who works there- and this Service was not in the chapel. After that we got bussed home.

What are some thoughts on this retreat? As you can probably tell, I didn’t like it at all. Should I report this or let it go? The school does this every year and it is mandatory. The retreat consists of about 25/30 people and there are about 5 or 6 retreats to accomodate the entire class.

By the way- if anyone feels this post is out of place and detracting from the thread, let me know and I’ll leave, make my own thread, and be out of your hair (no sarcasm intended)

 

[spellinggirl]

Please allow me to interject myself, as I read all the posts. I have a question regarding a retreat I went on for school (it was mandatory). Here’s what happened:

It was a Friday to Sunday retreat at a retreat center in the country (farms and stuff ). On Friday we did the usual retreat things- games and ‘small groups’, in which we talked about “who we are” (whatever that means).

Saturday we did the same, except on Saturday night. Saturday night we had a reconcilliation service. Let me explain. The people who ran the retreat center put on a little skit about rejecting Jesus and indulging in the world. I have to admit, it was a good skit and made me well up. After the skit, we all took a rock (a small pebble) and one by one went up to the front of the room and set it in a bowl of sand, while announcing some sin we were letting go from our hearts. It was a quite time and there was no time limit really (but we all had to go up there- no questions asked). After everyone went, they blasted, I mean BLASTED, the song “What I’ve done” by Linkin Park. I guess it fit after the music, the small group leaders all took up places in the room. My memory of this part fades, but I do remember we each had to go up to our leader, pray with them (just listen while they pray off the top of their head), then they bless us (I think; like I said my memory is fading). Lastly, we went to the chapel, did some meditating thing, then went to bed.

On Sunday, we did a little bit more of small groups, filled out a survey, then went to a Communion Service. The Service was, I thought, extremely disrespectful. For the readings, kids volunteered to dress up and act out the readings. I say dress up and I mean costumes. Costumes made of clothes from a thrift store (not that there’s anything wrong with thrift stores- there isn’t). The costumes included over-sized, baggy clothing and gaudy hats. The skit consisted of running around and no respect for what was actually happening. After the skit we all made a circle, stood, and recieved the Eucharist, not from a priest or deacon, but a lay person who works there- and this Service was not in the chapel. After that we got bussed home.

What are some thoughts on this retreat? As you can probably tell, I didn’t like it at all. Should I report this or let it go? The school does this every year and it is mandatory. The retreat consists of about 25/30 people and there are about 5 or 6 retreats to accomodate the entire class.

By the way- if anyone feels this post is out of place and detracting from the thread, let me know and I’ll leave, make my own thread, and be out of your hair (no sarcasm intended)

Oh my goodness, that sounds exactly like the last retreat I went on… Mass was attended in pajamas! This is a mandatory school retreat?! Wow! Hey, I’m only 17 but I would definitely report it. That is a shameful way to get “closer” to God.

 

[DexUK]

Just a note of caution:

When was this retreat held? If it was some considerable time ago (rather than within the last few weeks/months) I’d not bother reporting it so late in the day, particularly if the retreat has been repeated since your experience of it. You won’t know what the practises are like now and it could have been the abuses you mentioned are long in the past. You might also cause trouble for the people running it now unfairly.

 

[coolduude]

Just a note of caution:

When was this retreat held? If it was some considerable time ago (rather than within the last few weeks/months) I’d not bother reporting it so late in the day, particularly if the retreat has been repeated since your experience of it. You won’t know what the practises are like now and it could have been the abuses you mentioned are long in the past. You might also cause trouble for the people running it now unfairly.

The retreat that I personally attended occurred about a year ago, but I can assure you that they do the same things on every one.