Hi Ryan,
Thanks for posting that link. I’d like to go into the details of this verse. I’ve provided a better translation below. My breakdown is a little long winded, but it comes to a conclusion:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.
As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).”
(4:34)
So the admonishment against women, only applies to certain women. Specifically those that “ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct”. This admonishment can only be carried out by a man who ALSO is not in “disloyalty and ill-conduct”. He must be at a higher state, in order to correct his wife.
Now if a just man, finds his wife disloyal and with illconduct, then he needs to correct her, or it will cause chaos in the household.
His process is simple.
- “Admonish them (first)” - Talk to them, get angry at them, explain to them the consequences of their actions. This period can take days to weeks. It happens first.
- “(Next), refuse to share their beds” - If she won’t listen to reason, and is still doing ‘illconduct’, then the man should discontinue all intimate relations with the women. No kissing, hugging, or physical conduct.
If the women is sincere, she will right away feel the loss of her companion. This period should also last several days to weeks.
- “(And last) beat them (lightly)” - If a women will not listen to reason, nor does she care about her husbands companionship, then this women is in complete rebellion. This women needs to be reminded that her husband has physical superiority over her. This show of force brings her back to reality. Her husband is so unhappy with her behavior that he has resorted to physical violence
The line “Beat them” has been discussed ad-naseum by the scholars of Islam, and the verdict has always been “not hitting”. This process is a show of force, but does NOT include slapping, hitting or punching. This verse means physical intimidation. Pushing or shoving with force. There should be no bruising or skin marks after this encounter. This is the last step in the reconciliation process.
And after it is all said and done, the Prophet (Who had did have marital problems like most people), never raised his hands against his wives, nor did he ever beat his wives, nor did he allow it in the Muslims.
If a women even then won’t listen, then divorce is the next step. Reread the verse in question, and reflect. I think you’ll find that it has less to do with male superioirty then it does with a reconciliation process in a household. The same process is true in reverse for a man. If he is in disobedience, then the women has many rights, including bringing her family into the picture to “rough up” the husband.
The point here is that this verse is not establishing a barnyard environment where women are treated any way the man wishes.
Munawar
i was misinformed
