This local custom at Mass makes me uncomfortable

[allhers]

I’d sit in a completely different part of the Church too as it is probably just a usher or two and not all of them in the whole Church doing it. Some of them recognize each other from the KofC or other ministries in the Church and they (two ushers that I know of) always do that too.
I also find it odd and irritating and moved to a different section and a different Mass and am not bothered by them anymore, thankfully.
I guess some people’s idea of being friendly and other people’s idea are two different things. I also don’t like being hugged by any man other than my husband and sons so I dislike that no matter where I am, but find it most especially disturbing while at Mass.(don’t want my hand shook or kissed on my way to Communion either, just leave me alone, thank you.)
If you insist on shaking my hand during the sign of peace, that is as far as I’ll go, I don’t even like the sign of peace and I really don’t want anyone, not even my husband or sons kissing me then or hugging me then. (But they already know that and don’t try to hug or kiss me then, we just shake hands and wish one another Christ’s peace.)
But that is just my opinion and how I feel about it.

 

[JimG]

On the way to communion? How strange.

 

[Sam_Maloney]

Newbie 2 asked:
“I dunno…I see the parish as my second home…and I’m a servant of my master…don’t servants have a function to welcome people to the master’s house? ”

Absolutely not. They may open the door, but no servant would dare say ‘welcome’, it isn’t their home, it isn’t their place, either literally or figuratively. It would be grounds for instant dismissal.

Which is actually the point I was making.

Fine to distribute missalettes and say ‘Good Morning’ or ‘Nice to see you’, but they should be very careful NEVER to use words implying ownership, such as ‘Welcome’ or ‘Thanks for coming’.

 

[deborahssong]

Greetings to all! Bless you in the Lord!

   I read this section and was quite intrigued by some of the responses.   Actually I agree with all who have blogged. However here is what came to my heart.  In one of the writings of Paul, he mentions that he greeted them with a holy kiss. After studying the Jewish culture I assumed this was done on a regular basis among the early christians. Now I do  believe that kissing hands of the ladies is inappropriate IF the lady is unknown to the usher. 
   However I am sure the usher isnt meaning to make anyone uncomfortable, he just believes he is being friendly.  I agree that you should talk with the pastor and or the leader of the ushers. ALWAYS do it in love.  Scripture is clear about the way in which we are to handle all matters of the church!  Thanks for this opportunity.......God Bless all....

Deborah

 

[kage_ar]

Seriously, I think that custom is a bit over the top. There is a time and place for handshaking, and hugging the women or kissing their hands is not acceptable at any time even to greet them at the door as they enter the church.

Here in this part of the Southern US, hugging and kissing hands is acceptable, it is courteous and friendly. Different customs, different places. It is not something that ushers here do, but, I’ve seen it at smaller places.

 

[BamaRider]

At Galand’s parish they’re doin this-

It is their custom to shake hands with the men and somethimes hug or kiss the hand of some women on the way to Communion. I

Man that’s awesome.

So what do y’all do at the “Our Father?”

 

[Linda_Marie]

This was beautiful. But, may I ask: if you don’t have ushers how to you fit 12 people into an 8 person pew?

Unfortunately, we don’t have a space problem. If the pew is full, they just sit in the row behind, or where ever they want. Lots of choice. We are a small city of 28,000 of which 7,000 answered Catholic on the last Census. Active parishioners number about 800 (counting all the kids who come).

For the special Masses, like the one for Confirmation tomorrow, where the church is full, one of the Acolytes will assist people to find a seat. If they come late though, they are on their own.

We only have a greeter at the 10:00am Mass. He says “good morning, good to see you.” and hands out the hymnals and bulletins.

 

[puzzleannie]

Newbie 2 asked:
"I dunno…I see the parish as my second home…and I’m a servant of my master…don’t servants have a function to welcome people to the master’s house? "

.

at the door maybe, not on the way to communion
and that greeting should not involve physical contact beyond that which is the norm in that culture.

 

[Auntie_M]

Well, this is a new “abuse”. isn’t it. I wonder what will be the next one.

Is it just me, but are people LOOKING for something to complain about?

Hugging, kissing hands, friendly greetings is just a part of the South…I am sure it would NOT go over too well with northerners. They are not as sociable.

But in the South, it is not a gesture of intimacy nor do people here see it as such. Men hug women, women hug men, women hug women, men hug men. AND there is Nothing intimate meant by it. Strange to the north, common in the sourth.

In New York, for example, where there is a “Park” with women and men in intimate embraces with the same sex, I am sure that this “custom” would be interpreted to be something very wrong.

But as I said NOT in the South.

Anyone ever hear of Southern Hospitality? and yes, even in churches.

 

[JimG]

at the door maybe, not on the way to communion
and that greeting should not involve physical contact beyond that which is the norm in that culture.

Maybe they do it at the door, then again on the way to communion, then on the way back from communion, and then as they leave the church!

 

[BamaRider]

Well, this is a new “abuse”. isn’t it. I wonder what will be the next one.

Is it just me, but are people LOOKING for something to complain about?

Hugging, kissing hands, friendly greetings is just a part of the South…I am sure it would NOT go over too well with northerners. They are not as sociable.

But in the South, it is not a gesture of intimacy nor do people here see it as such. Men hug women, women hug men, women hug women, men hug men. AND there is Nothing intimate meant by it. Strange to the north, common in the sourth.

In New York, for example, where there is a “Park” with women and men in intimate embraces with the same sex, I am sure that this “custom” would be interpreted to be something very wrong.

But as I said NOT in the South.

Anyone ever hear of Southern Hospitality? and yes, even in churches.

I’m Southern born and raised. I live in a city of 40,000 but we are a parish of only 250, so not many of us. I reckon we need to start havin more babies

We are a hospitable people, but I dunno about doin all that before Communion.

I’ve had the good fortune to travel America extensively via my motorcycle touring. The lower 48 many times over, I’ve slept each of them at least twice. LOL.

I’ve celebrated Mass in every region, but I find the Northeast to be the hardest to figure out. Many of their church buildings are big Gothic places, dark and cold. They have these huge high ceilings, and dark windows, and when you walk down the ailse your steps bounce of the walls. I’d be afraid of Confession, because I’d fear my voice carrying all over the building. The pews and any wood trim are a dark kinda wood which doesn’t help.

Maybe it was just me, but I felt kind of intimidated at a parish in the Boston area. You had to go up a long row of steps, and the doors of were 20 feet high at the entrance.

But I guess when the Churches were built way back when, that was the style.

I don’t think they lend themselves to feelings of friendliness, but thats just :twocents: I suggest they they brighten things up, and maybe that will grow a warmer feeling among the people.