L
Lady_Love
Guest
So, I have been through so much loss in the past few years and it has devastated me. It’s been so hard to trudge through to a place of hope and vision for my future as I watch what WAS my dream fade away…
So, I am now engaged and we found the PERFECT house. It is a house you almost don’t dare to hope for because it is exactly what I want and at the price I can afford. I started to be so hopeful again (which felt so good) and I started to envision my new life. I visited my best friend and told her about the house and how much I love it. She in her excitement went to go see it. A few weeks have passed now and she just called me to confess that SHE loves the houses and desires it for her family. I am devastated and I feel a little betrayed. I couldn’t hold back my tears on the phone with her.
The ironic thing is, that my fiance called me today to look at another house “just in case” this one doesn’t work out for us. AND I was in the middle of reading the encyclical on Human Suffering. I feel so sick to my stomach!
My friend also believes in God and was saying how she had a “feeling” about the house. This just makes me more sick because in some way I feel like there is this competition for God’s gifts. I told her that I was upset because now this means that my loss will be her benefit. This just makes me so sad. All that keeps going through my head is “No greater love is there than this, to lay down ones life for a friend.”
I’m thrust into fighting pessimism and discouragement. I need prayers. I need prayers to do what Jesus would do…I WANT THIS HOUSE FOR MY FAMILY! Help me to trust my God.
So, I am now engaged and we found the PERFECT house. It is a house you almost don’t dare to hope for because it is exactly what I want and at the price I can afford. I started to be so hopeful again (which felt so good) and I started to envision my new life. I visited my best friend and told her about the house and how much I love it. She in her excitement went to go see it. A few weeks have passed now and she just called me to confess that SHE loves the houses and desires it for her family. I am devastated and I feel a little betrayed. I couldn’t hold back my tears on the phone with her.
The ironic thing is, that my fiance called me today to look at another house “just in case” this one doesn’t work out for us. AND I was in the middle of reading the encyclical on Human Suffering. I feel so sick to my stomach!
My friend also believes in God and was saying how she had a “feeling” about the house. This just makes me more sick because in some way I feel like there is this competition for God’s gifts. I told her that I was upset because now this means that my loss will be her benefit. This just makes me so sad. All that keeps going through my head is “No greater love is there than this, to lay down ones life for a friend.”
I’m thrust into fighting pessimism and discouragement. I need prayers. I need prayers to do what Jesus would do…I WANT THIS HOUSE FOR MY FAMILY! Help me to trust my God.